Absurd Headlines

caco_ethes

i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »

Local teacher makes little things count and teaches math to midget.

81Katz

Know it all health/fitness db dissected for science, nothing but Kit-Kats and Twinkies found inside.

eccomi_qui

Is Wonderwall’s “I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now” the world’s most profound song lyric? We asked Ozzy Osbourne - more at 11

eccomi_qui

i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »

A pervert spotted waving his salami in the meat section of supermarket tells cops he was stealing sausages.

*whistles inconspicuously*

NewlifeinNW

Child support case over mfp ebaby goes to Supreme Court

gardengnomemanifesto

Man uses long beard for clothing

gardengnomemanifesto

Man discovers self image in stick of butter

NewlifeinNW

Man hires security company to protect coconut trees on island from coconut oil pirates

whosshe

Ta-co-bout Messy! World's Most Beloved Taco Stand Doused in Mustard. Investigation Ongoing.

gardengnomemanifesto

Three Scooter pile up at local Walmart prompts store to post speed limits in aisles

eccomi_qui

gardengnomemanifesto wrote: »

Three Scooter pile up at local Walmart prompts store to post speed limits in aisles

But was there a fight? Inquiring minds want to know?

JeromeBarry1

Dude Ate A Banana.

FTW.

gardengnomemanifesto

Newly invented dog translator reveals Fido actually hates you. Details at 11.

gardengnomemanifesto

Male cat drops to clean genitals, Woman in vicinity claims harassment

eccomi_qui

Man has 5% battery left, sends dramatic message to love interest as if he’s dying

NewlifeinNW

Kevin Spacey likes women

gardengnomemanifesto

Man afraid of his own penis has heart attack when he gets an erection

eccomi_qui

gardengnomemanifesto wrote: »

Man afraid of his own penis has heart attack when he gets an erection

It went straight to his head