Hating on Fat People Just Makes Them Fatter
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No matter how much a loose I will always be fat.
With that attitude, you're right.
The victim mentality that I see a lot on this site drives me up the flippin wall. Quit letting other people have power over you and take control of your own life!!! We're adults and we have responsibility for our own actions. Quit blaming everyone else and looking for a convenient excuse! If someone makes you feel bad, it's probably because they were speaking the truth. No one gets their feelings hurt over something that doesn't apply to them.
This^^ The victim mentality drives me crazy too!0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.0 -
Why do you feel personally invested in it? Why not take a neutral approach and instead see if there is something you can do to help a person, who is struggling?No matter how much a loose I will always be fat.
With that attitude, you're right.
The victim mentality that I see a lot on this site drives me up the flippin wall. Quit letting other people have power over you and take control of your own life!!! We're adults and we have responsibility for our own actions. Quit blaming everyone else and looking for a convenient excuse! If someone makes you feel bad, it's probably because they were speaking the truth. No one gets their feelings hurt over something that doesn't apply to them.
This^^ The victim mentality drives me crazy too!0 -
I'm probably going to get trolled a ton for this, but here we go... As a person who used to be morbidly obese, I don't think some of you realize what it is like to be fat-shamed or intimidated by others. Is it an excuse? No. But is it a very real obstacle for some people? Yes.
I've lost 120 lbs overall, 80ish since I started using MFP... I had the privilege of using an office gym for the better part of a year before having to use a regular one, so luckily for me my initial experience with the gym was a positive one (workin' out with the guys was the highlight of my day after awhile.) Fast forward to when I use a regular gym: I have been mooed at, laughed at, pointed at and laughed at, made fun of by two guys on each side of me on the treadmill, made fun of by a group of guys, actually had "Man the harpoons!" yelled at me, etc.
It's not an excuse. I certainly haven't let it stop me. But, I know I have 120 lbs of weight loss behind me, I know that I can do it, but I imagine it might be harder to 'get back in the saddle' to someone who's already overwhelmed.0 -
This was a thoughtful, honest post and so true! I know there are many people out there who can identify with this point of view.
"The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. " - I was looking for a way to say this but you did it so well.
Thank you for adding your $0.02.I am going to try to post here without getting too crazy... or nasty.
At the end of the day, motivation is different for everyone but this is my backstory:
I have always been fat (I was 10lbs11oz when I was born!). I am built enormous, I will never be a "petite" (and before you're like "big bones are a lie" - I am 6ft tall, have a size 12 ladies feet, 7 3/4 hat size and hands as big as my 6'3" boyfriends'... I am just a big lady before you even add the weight). Not only have I always BEEN fat, but I have always KNOWN I was fat. I have been told, on various occasions, that I am fat - an elderly man once walked up to me as I was rifling through a sales rack and said "oh honey, you KNOW none of those are going to fit you so why bother even looking?". My grandfather bullied me mercilessly about my weight to the point where I decided if I ever had children, they would never meet him. I can honestly say that nobody telling me I was fat ever made me want to lose weight, even those things.
When people correlate "fat" with "stupid", it makes me want to be SMARTER, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "lazy", it just makes me want to be more efficient, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "ugly", it just makes me want to go out and buy a new dress - not get thinner.
The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. When I looked in the mirror and said "hey, you are a fundamentally good person - you are AT LEAST as good as all those thin, healthy people out there, you deserve as many good things as they do.", THAT was when, after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, I lost 72lbs and have maintained 60 of those for over three years.
I find there tends to be a large difference between men and women, especially when it comes to body shaming. Women often have a much more emotional attachment to their fat (once I was grown and making my own food choices, mine was protection after sexual abuse as a child - it was like that physical barrier of fat stopped me from allowing anyone close enough to hurt me again) and have spent years cultivating it, and so telling people how "disgusting" their coping mechanism is doesn't often make them want to change, but cling to it tighter because it is what they've always known. It seems that OFTEN (not ALWAYS, there are no hard fast rules in this conversation, IMHO), men gain weight because they've been drinking too much with their buddies or playing too many video games or whatever - they can recognize it and cut it out. For women, there is often a lot more to wade through than "eat less, move more".
Just my $0.02.0 -
discriminating against people in some way due to weight, like not being able to ride a roller coaster
This was the best bit. Fat people aren't allowed to ride roller coasters because people are MEAN! And here I thought it was a safety thing. Silly me.
They should have limits on roller coasters, a bigger lady just fell out of the texas giant. Although I don't think an official reason has been released, this site has a video at the bottom about how a bigger person would not be as safe on this ride.
http://www.thecoastercritic.com/2013/07/woman-dies-new-texas-giant.html0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.0 -
If people laugh at someone overweight, they are pretty pathetic if you ask me. If they make fun of you when you are at the gym, they are low-lives. Kudos for what you have achieved.I'm probably going to get trolled a ton for this, but here we go... As a person who used to be morbidly obese, I don't think some of you realize what it is like to be fat-shamed or intimidated by others. Is it an excuse? No. But is it a very real obstacle for some people? Yes.
I've lost 120 lbs overall, 80ish since I started using MFP... I had the privilege of using an office gym for the better part of a year before having to use a regular one, so luckily for me my initial experience with the gym was a positive one (workin' out with the guys was the highlight of my day after awhile.) Fast forward to when I use a regular gym: I have been mooed at, laughed at, pointed at and laughed at, made fun of by two guys on each side of me on the treadmill, made fun of by a group of guys, actually had "Man the harpoons!" yelled at me, etc.
It's not an excuse. I certainly haven't let it stop me. But, I know I have 120 lbs of weight loss behind me, I know that I can do it, but I imagine it might be harder to 'get back in the saddle' to someone who's already overwhelmed.0 -
I am going to try to post here without getting too crazy... or nasty.
At the end of the day, motivation is different for everyone but this is my backstory:
I have always been fat (I was 10lbs11oz when I was born!). I am built enormous, I will never be a "petite" (and before you're like "big bones are a lie" - I am 6ft tall, have a size 12 ladies feet, 7 3/4 hat size and hands as big as my 6'3" boyfriends'... I am just a big lady before you even add the weight). Not only have I always BEEN fat, but I have always KNOWN I was fat. I have been told, on various occasions, that I am fat - an elderly man once walked up to me as I was rifling through a sales rack and said "oh honey, you KNOW none of those are going to fit you so why bother even looking?". My grandfather bullied me mercilessly about my weight to the point where I decided if I ever had children, they would never meet him. I can honestly say that nobody telling me I was fat ever made me want to lose weight, even those things.
When people correlate "fat" with "stupid", it makes me want to be SMARTER, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "lazy", it just makes me want to be more efficient, not thinner. When people correlate "fat" with "ugly", it just makes me want to go out and buy a new dress - not get thinner.
The ONLY thing that made me "want" to be HEALTHIER is self worth and self love. Shame does not build that.. When I looked in the mirror and said "hey, you are a fundamentally good person - you are AT LEAST as good as all those thin, healthy people out there, you deserve as many good things as they do.", THAT was when, after a lifetime of yo yo dieting, I lost 72lbs and have maintained 60 of those for over three years.
I find there tends to be a large difference between men and women, especially when it comes to body shaming. Women often have a much more emotional attachment to their fat (once I was grown and making my own food choices, mine was protection after sexual abuse as a child - it was like that physical barrier of fat stopped me from allowing anyone close enough to hurt me again) and have spent years cultivating it, and so telling people how "disgusting" their coping mechanism is doesn't often make them want to change, but cling to it tighter because it is what they've always known. It seems that OFTEN (not ALWAYS, there are no hard fast rules in this conversation, IMHO), men gain weight because they've been drinking too much with their buddies or playing too many video games or whatever - they can recognize it and cut it out. For women, there is often a lot more to wade through than "eat less, move more".
Just my $0.02.
Are you being serious? I honestly can't tell
I am being sincere and completely serious.0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
google is your friend
"PCOS is estimated to affect between 5 and 10 percent of women of reproductive age, thus making it the most common hormonal disorder among women in this age group. It affects women of all races and nationalities."
http://www.uchospitals.edu/specialties/pcos/pcos.html0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
IDK percentages, but it really doesn't matter. Those things are just another variable in the Calories in-calories out equation, specifically your calories out are lower, and you might need to make slightly different dietary choices. As a person with thyroid disease, I don't really accept that as an excuse, you just need to work harder and it might take longer than a person without those conditions.0 -
Blah Blah Blah...excuse making....Blah Blah...studies that enable..Blah Blah...0
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So as long as a person has a physical explanation to their obesity/overweight it is fine, but god forbid if they have anything emotional that they are struggling with...Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.0 -
I like it!!! These quotes are amazing today.0
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I'm probably going to get trolled a ton for this, but here we go... As a person who used to be morbidly obese, I don't think some of you realize what it is like to be fat-shamed or intimidated by others. Is it an excuse? No. But is it a very real obstacle for some people? Yes.
I've lost 120 lbs overall, 80ish since I started using MFP... I had the privilege of using an office gym for the better part of a year before having to use a regular one, so luckily for me my initial experience with the gym was a positive one (workin' out with the guys was the highlight of my day after awhile.) Fast forward to when I use a regular gym: I have been mooed at, laughed at, pointed at and laughed at, made fun of by two guys on each side of me on the treadmill, made fun of by a group of guys, actually had "Man the harpoons!" yelled at me, etc.
It's not an excuse. I certainly haven't let it stop me. But, I know I have 120 lbs of weight loss behind me, I know that I can do it, but I imagine it might be harder to 'get back in the saddle' to someone who's already overwhelmed.
Only jerks would troll your post. You were honest about some actual bad experiences you've had with some terrible people but as you said, you didn't use it as an excuse. You fly in the face of what the OPs article purported. According to it, you should be getting bigger, not losing weight like you are.
Congratulations on the hard work you've put in and good luck.0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
google is your friend
"PCOS is estimated to affect between 5 and 10 percent of women of reproductive age, thus making it the most common hormonal disorder among women in this age group. It affects women of all races and nationalities."
http://www.uchospitals.edu/specialties/pcos/pcos.htmlOh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
IDK percentages, but it really doesn't matter. Those things are just another variable in the Calories in-calories out equation, specifically your calories out are lower, and you might need to make slightly different dietary choices. As a person with thyroid disease, I don't really accept that as an excuse, you just need to work harder and it might take longer than a person without those conditions.
thank you both, I had a feeling that was a low incidence and also a red herring but had no idea how it actually factored into the cals in and out situation. Now that I do I feel better about posting my standard replies since the incidences are quite low and apparently the methods to remedy are still the same. Sorry I didn't google it myself but sometimes when I'm tired and easily distracted like today google is not my friend but more like a porn/celebritygossip/fashion machine.0 -
So as long as a person has a physical explanation to their obesity/overweight it is fine, but god forbid if they have anything emotional that they are struggling with...Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Nope, not what I said. I sympathize with others trying to lose weight but I would never blame my weight gain on anyone but myself (unless someone was threatening me with violence if I didn't eat to excess). You can sympathize while not giving anyone the carte blanche excuse of "society and the mean people in it made me fat".0 -
Oh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
google is your friend
"PCOS is estimated to affect between 5 and 10 percent of women of reproductive age, thus making it the most common hormonal disorder among women in this age group. It affects women of all races and nationalities."
http://www.uchospitals.edu/specialties/pcos/pcos.htmlOh boy, another article for people who are too lazy and/or uncaring about their health to fall back on instead of eating less and moving more. Victim mentality FTMFL.
win!!!
Ok, but what people who have an underline medical condition. I have a friend who suffers from pcos and she really is struggling to lose weight and there are plenty of women just like her. She does eat less, no processed foods and workout but because of her condition weight loss is not as easy. I'm not saying people should not take ownership of their health or anything like that, I'm just saying some might have an underline medical condition which causes obesity/overweight.
But that would have nothing to do with the topic. It wasn't rude people that made your friend fatter, it was her medical condition. No one is implying those people are at fault or not taking responsibility. It's the people with nothing wrong with them except a cronic case of 'excess food into mouth' that are the topic. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude to people, it's definitely not, but (medical cases withstanding) only the person putting food in their mouths can claim responsibility for their weight.
Okay, I finally --just, I'm sorry but I truly have to ask. Does anyone know the percentages of how many people are actually afflicted with PCOS? Just asking because my FL is nearly 500 strong and so far I know of only ONE who has that condition. If anyone is so inclined to answer my question please if you also know the actual incidence of "thyroid" problems and "broken metabolism" rates, I'd love to know those percentages ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Bonus points if they are all in a handy link to ONE webpage so I can quote it on my profile wall o' handy links for all posterity.
IDK percentages, but it really doesn't matter. Those things are just another variable in the Calories in-calories out equation, specifically your calories out are lower, and you might need to make slightly different dietary choices. As a person with thyroid disease, I don't really accept that as an excuse, you just need to work harder and it might take longer than a person without those conditions.
thank you both, I had a feeling that was a low incidence and also a red herring but had no idea how it actually factored into the cals in and out situation. Now that I do I feel better about posting my standard replies since the incidences are quite low and apparently the methods to remedy are still the same. Sorry I didn't google it myself but sometimes when I'm tired and easily distracted like today google is not my friend but more like a porn/celebritygossip/fashion machine.
Haha no worries. I am heavily sarcastic by nature...I personally was interested in the statistic so I don't mind googling to find out
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Sometimes all it takes is one person willing to be there for someone, who is struggling. I see a lot of cold, distanced comments in this thread and am wondering what life would look like if the origins of those comments would step outside of themselves for a while to ask the weaker person - who could benefit from the experience and knowledge of the stronger one - whether they could help somehow. Most humans thrive on kindness, regardless of all the "I don't sugarcoat it" types of claims you see here. The strong individual isn't struggling anymore, so why not act like a mentor? Or is it nicer, more convenient, to sit on a high horse? Genuine kindness isn't the same as sugarcoating, but maybe we should all just fend for ourselves to make the world a better place.0
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