Women and jealousy
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Root Cause Analysis Dept.
Mothers with daughters: your daughter isn't going to believe you when you tell her shes beautiful one moment and the next moment look at yourself in the mirror and tear yourself apart. Father's, I think share the bulk of that responsibility and also-- leading by example towards her mother and her-- teaching his daughter what respect is.
We men step up and do that, we nip a lot of this societal, pop-culture claptrap in the bud.
OMG I am working soooo hard on this! It's so darn difficult sometimes!0 -
Funny answers
There is NO 'Understanding' Jealousy. Can you understand the Moon? It just IS..
Men are naturally jelouse too... they may hide it better, but let someone take their girlfriend or get a cooler car. It may come out as anger or rage or sarcasm.. still is jealousy.
Personally I think Jealousy is for those who feel inferior. At 53 years old I know now what I knew when I was 18, that there were ALWAYS prettier, younger, hotter, richer, deserving or undeserving people around. No use trying to 'compete'.0 -
oh this cracks me up! Not every women is like that.. Its all in how someone was brought up simple as that 0
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In that they are total opposites?Empathy and jealousy are two sides of the same coin, imho.
No. Empathy/jealousy, Sympathy/shame, Love/disdain, and Pride/embarrassment are all emotions of self-awareness and awareness of others, even though one is positive and the other is negative. The capacity to feel all of these is likely related to how self-aware an individual is by default or chooses to be. Choosing the positive one in each pair over the negative counterpart has to do with the way the person views their environment.
In general, women are set up to be able to have higher levels of empathy. So, it stands to reason that having the capability for empathy comes along with that for jealousy. It's just the situation that triggers the emotion and the way the person views that particular situation, which differs and determines whether the positive emotion or the negative one is expressed. Additionally, the increased feeling that others are a presence likely explains why women are often more social, more talkative, and able to bond more readily than men (romantic love, feelings for children, etc.)
My guess is that if you could get a chronically very jealous woman to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to truly reframe the way she looks at things, you'll end up with an extremely empathic, caring woman in the end.
I have to agree with a lot of what you've said here. I am a jealous woman (only when it comes to my husband) and I am a very empathatic woman. I am also an introvert and I think a lot of that is brought on by being self aware and the fear of offending someone or having them judge me. Add in low self esteem and you have the basket case that is me. LOL0 -
I am extremely jealous, but I don't discriminate. I'm jealous of anyone and everyone. All the time. Forever!!!0
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I went out with a guy I was seeing and his friend one night for dinner and the guy I was seeing opened the door for another girl (I wouldn't have minded anyway, but she was also on crutches and her boyfriend just dropped her at the curb and didn't help her at all) and his friend watched for my reaction. When I didn't have one, he asked, "You aren't jealous that he opened the door for another girl?" Apparently the girls he dates would have started a cat fight over something so stupid.
I will admit to having moments of jealousy, but I'm level-headed enough to see it for what it is and not let it affect my judgement - especially when a nice guy is just being a nice guy.0 -
We don't like our competition.
We've been wired since we were young that we should aspire to be the prettiest girl in the room, always. Because that girl gets everything good. Beauty means everything. Its all we've been told our entire lives. So naturally, we get jealous of our competition, her presence knocks your worth down a few pegs.
Thanks for the insights!0 -
I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.
So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.
Wow!!
Appreciate the perspective.0 -
Dude from your profile pic you have NOTHING to be envious of *wipes drool*
I don't really get jealous, because I just know some are hotter than me, while others aren't. I am jealous of younger girls (only because I'd like to be younger but that's it really)0 -
From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.
So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?
It's an equal opportunity madness.
Men get jealous is an understatement. Women don't have the lock on this corner of crazy town.
And I don't get it either. When someone becomes jealous it is a fear of losing someone...but we are not objects to be owned. We are people to be loved and cared about. If you love someone, you don't go all crazy, privacy invading, accusatory, control freak on them.
Same thing applies if you are feeling envy of someone else and it turns to hate for no good reason other than your own sense of confidence.
If feelings of jealousy do surface, this is your opportunity to improve yourself, not crush your partner or sling muck at someone else.
I steer heavily clear of any person who shows signs of jealousy now after seeing first hand how much crazy it involves. It's not cute. It's dangerous and destructive.0 -
Not all of us are 0
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Agreed!Root Cause Analysis Dept.
Mothers with daughters: your daughter isn't going to believe you when you tell her shes beautiful one moment and the next moment look at yourself in the mirror and tear yourself apart. Father's, I think share the bulk of that responsibility and also-- leading by example towards her mother and her-- teaching his daughter what respect is.
We men step up and do that, we nip a lot of this societal, pop-culture claptrap in the bud.
I think this is worth a bump too.0 -
if thats the case, women just hate on each other, they have to be the most prettiest, most best dressed in the room. They just have to. and if another girl is prettier than her, most likey she wants her to die in an aweful subway accident.
LMAO!!!
I can honestly say some girls are like. but not all.
although... if she starts flirting with my man I might have those thoughts in my head. lol0 -
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Women are more expressive in general when compared to men. So why focus only on the negative feeling of "Jealousy"? Women are also more compassionate, selfless, loving, emotional etc. Men might also be all of the above, but are generally not too expressive of thier feelings..
Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and my understandings. And i am saying in general, there are exceptions ofcourse
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I went out with a guy I was seeing and his friend one night for dinner and the guy I was seeing opened the door for another girl (I wouldn't have minded anyway, but she was also on crutches and her boyfriend just dropped her at the curb and didn't help her at all) and his friend watched for my reaction. When I didn't have one, he asked, "You aren't jealous that he opened the door for another girl?" Apparently the girls he dates would have started a cat fight over something so stupid.
I will admit to having moments of jealousy, but I'm level-headed enough to see it for what it is and not let it affect my judgement - especially when a nice guy is just being a nice guy.
*blink blink*
Definitely must be from the younger generation. In my generation, it is customary for men to open doors for women. Not just their own woman.0 -
I don't think most jealous people are born that way. I think jealousy comes from life experiences in which someone has left them feeling that they can't take things at face value. That can be in their family of origin, or could just be baggage they are carrying from past relationships.
The key for everyone who experiences feelings of jealousy is to try and figure out where it's coming from so they can put it into perspective. That's always the challenge....
Are you dragging old baggage into a new situation? Or is your current relationship with an untrustworthy *kitten*? That is the million dollar question... (the other million dollar question is am I going to get this thread locked for saying *kitten*...)
(edited to fix typo)0 -
I don't get jealous if another woman looks hot. I don't even get jealous if my husband thinks another woman looks hot. I get jealous if he thinks she looks hotter than me. But I wouldn't get annoyed with her, I'd get annoyed with him :-D0
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There's a bridge in Brooklyn you might have some interest in purchasing. PM me for where to send the money.True but we dont live in the same era as a Roosevelt
Eleanor would roll over in her grave if she saw the state of the world today.
I feel bad for the young women growing up today to be constantly bombarded with the shallow messages the media sends out to women.... poor girls...... thank god i am old lol
Right. Because there were no societal pressures on women in the 1940s, '50s, '60s or '70s.
Right ...
there were they just had deeper meaning then who is skinny with big boobs and who is "hot"
I would rather have grown up in an ear worrying about my civil rights as a woman then what the scale or pants size says
would be nice to go somewhere with out sex thrown in my face too.0 -
Bump0
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You guys dont get jealous much because look at how many beautiful women marry ugly *kitten* guys!!!0
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There's a bridge in Brooklyn you might have some interest in purchasing. PM me for where to send the money.True but we dont live in the same era as a Roosevelt
Eleanor would roll over in her grave if she saw the state of the world today.
I feel bad for the young women growing up today to be constantly bombarded with the shallow messages the media sends out to women.... poor girls...... thank god i am old lol
Right. Because there were no societal pressures on women in the 1940s, '50s, '60s or '70s.
Right ...
there were they just had deeper meaning then who is skinny with big boobs and who is "hot"
I would rather have grown up in an ear worrying about my civil rights as a woman then what the scale or pants size says
would be nice to go somewhere with out sex thrown in my face too.
I want in on that deal - easy money...0 -
I love how every one says SOME women get jealous....... implying that they are not jealous
Everyone gets jealous it is all in how you deal with it
Not over some other woman's looks. Sorry.0 -
I love how every one says SOME women get jealous....... implying that they are not jealous
Everyone gets jealous it is all in how you deal with it
Some people don't get jealous. I'm one of them but then again I've been married for years and secure in myself and my relationship and never felt the need to be jealous.0 -
Yeah, generally that's true, I think. I feel it's lack of confidence caused by the pressure of being a certain way, acting a certain way, pent up frustration because women generally can't express their angst with one another the way a man can.
Partly because women can also take offense very easily, partly because the problem is a little petty or irrational. Also because some women play games, the ones who understand the games play back, creating tension and further game playing and cattyiness. The ones who don't understand the game create confusion, and that's a recipe for disaster too.
But I've known some crazy jealous guys too. But with them, they don't usually call the people such and such a name and never talk to them again. It sucks because I've lost a few friends because their girlfriends hate me, even though I am absolutely no threat, because my friend sees me as a boy, or a sister if I'm wearing shoes or something, I dunno, pink0 -
I personally believe jealousy is a trait that is developed or possibly natural to a person. On a scale of 1-10 my personal jealousy radar is at a 1. I don't know why, it's just who I've always been, I don't honestly care about another woman's opinion of herself or of me. When I look in the mirror I see beautiful. When I am out with my husband, and kids, I feel that I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Not because that is who I am in the world's eyes, but because that is who I am in my eyes and in my families eyes, in my children's eyes, and in my spouse's eyes. On the contrary if I see a woman who I believe is beautiful I am only merely fascinated with her beauty, I don't compare myself to her. Because to me people are like flowers, we are all beautiful, and eventually if we are lucky enough, we might just get picked. But much like flowers some people prefer roses, and some daisy's, I prefer snap dragons, just because I can pull their heads off and make them talk :laugh: I can definitely be annoyed by other women, and being annoyed and being jealous is two different things :flowerforyou: .0
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cause a majority of women are built on emotion that is why, it is that estrogen. 0
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This certainly was an interesting read on more than one level.
I agree with everything Rml_16 has said, in fact I think I have a girl crush on her right now.
I agree with the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, it is timeless.
I disagree strongly with the statement that all females have been wired to focus on appearance. I was brought up to become an academic with basically no focus on outer attributes - and that's partly why I'm here right now.
Oh the meandering evolution of threads...0
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