Women and jealousy

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  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Ok, so I'm going to just ignore some of the nastier comments and only address myself... Not going to presume to understand others feelings :wink:

    When I was much younger, I hated being around other women, they were always petty... Looking back I now realize it was because I was blonde haired, blue eyed, and at 5'7' was 125-130 pounds (US size 6-8) fairly attractive in my own right. The ladies in my family are drop-dead gorgeous, so I never really thought anything of how I looked, because in my eyes I didn't even come close to comparing with them, why bother.

    Do I get jealous of other women? There have been times (not gonna lie), but for me growing up in the shadows of the gorgeous (and OMG intellegent women of my family (one is an Aero Space Engineer, highly sought after in her field)). Most of the time, I look at women that are beautiful with appreciation. It's just how I was raised....

    Now on the flip side... I am a people watcher, and I will look at how some women dress and just OMG it to death! I'm a big girl still (working on changing that, now a size 14-16), and I see girls twice my size wearing clothes that my toddler MIGHT wear... HOLY CRAP BATMAN! REALLY????

    So my question about women isn't so much about jealousy... More along the lines of how can a woman dress (and I use dress very losely) that way and not expect people to be amazed (in a negative way)?? How much pride do you have in yourself to let your fat rolls and your sn!@#$% hang out that way??

    :huh:
  • GamerGirly
    GamerGirly Posts: 158 Member
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    It's not a hormone, it's insecurity.
    Not every woman is like that... Example:
    At my husband's work he had a girl who was hot enough to be a swim suit model come through and ask him for help. After he was done helping her out, I told him I was proud of him for being so smooth with a total hottie ;). I was proud, she was really beautiful.
    Maybe we're just weird... I've never been jealous of that kinda stuff.


    ^^ THIS!!

    Not many people have mentioned it.. but the ONLY reason why women get jealous is because of insecurities. Behavior is conditioned based on our surroundings. Some people, both men and women, need their ego stroked more than others. But, it all comes down to how a person feels about the situation.
  • elliej
    elliej Posts: 466 Member
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    This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)

    Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.

    On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
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    In this society, every movie, every commercial, every magazine cover tells you that a woman's worth is directly proportionate to her looks. That message in pervasive and relentless.
    And it affects all (it affects how man view women too), some women just manifest it differently.
    No one wants to suddenly be worth less than someone else, and women are kind of put in this position when a much prettier woman walks in.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
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    My guess is it's got nothing to do with hormones at all. Fron a social standpoint (in terms of pre-conceived notions about women and men, I'm not saying I agree with them) Women are supposed to take care of themselves appearance wise, they are supposed to be patient mothers, they're supposed to be polite and reserved (we're going WAY BACK for these stereotypes folks) and conversely men are supposed to be tough, hard working providers.

    Men get jealous too, they just get jealous of money, power and material things. So do you have the hormone that causes that? lol

    Of course, I'm not meaning ALLLLL men or women, but your penis does not make you immune to jealousy.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)

    Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.

    On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...
    he said those things only because he's jealous of me.
    I strongly suspect I get more lady action than he does.
  • Camo_Man
    Camo_Man Posts: 100 Member
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.
    No we don't.

    Some women do, sure. But this is not true of all of us. Just stop. Please.

    This is that stereotype that makes me want to kick puppies and kittens and if you know anything about me, that's as extreme as it gets.

    Women who are immature and insecure hate and are suspicious of other women. Not all women (I would venture MOST) are not immature and insecure and we DO NOT FEEL THIS WAY, openly or secretly.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    This entire thread kind of disgusts me. I agree with sweeping generalisation 'victim' (how dare she stand up for women? women are to be seen and not heard. unless they're pretty.)

    Society, men and magazines perpetrate the belief that all women should (and do) care about, judge and envy other womens' bodies.

    On the whole, women who do this have only been conditioned into this behaviour. Men have varied role models of different looks, ages and weights. Women are constantly given the message to be successful you have to look a certain way. E.g. This year's female wimbledon winner was described by a commentator as 'not a looker' as if that was an important factor for a tennis player...

    Marion Bartoli is beautiful, and the perpetrator of those statements has a history of chauvinistic statements. What's sad is he did suggest that women who are not endowed with perfect looks are forced to work much harder in this life. Which is suggesting that if you're an attractive woman, you can sit on your bum all day and if not? You're screwed.

    Eh, he probably got used to seeing Maria Sharapova prance around at Wimbledon, who is more of the feminine ideal, at least according to men's magazines
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
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    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.

    I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details

    Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.

    Yes ma'am

    All of those "Uwotm8", neg threats and "you cheeky kent you" gives you thick skin and makes you forum savvy, nomsaying?
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    I have not read the 6 pages so I apologize if I am saying something that has already been said.

    Jealousy in my opinion comes when a person feels like they are in competition with someone or something that they that they don't have the ability to compete with. Jealousy is a reaction to feeling inadequate in some way.
  • PlanetoftheAtheists
    PlanetoftheAtheists Posts: 112
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.

    You must live with a sad family... I pity you. Those women sound awful.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.

    You must live with a sad family... I pity you. Those women sound awful.
    you can see why people end up holding those views when they're raised in that dysfunctional environment.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I can't say I've ever been jealous of how another woman looks - body, face, shape, anything like. I am my own competition. That, and I'm pretty happy with myself. Now, a girl getting attention from my guy? Yea. I've gotten green-eyed about that. Guys do the same, though.
  • chimanlifts1
    chimanlifts1 Posts: 23
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    Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.

    Yes ma'am

    All of those "Uwotm8", neg threats and "you cheeky kent you" gives you thick skin and makes you forum savvy, nomsaying?

    U are 2 cheeky kents mates I swear on me mum's life
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    It's a result of modern society and the media. Women have been conditioned by years and years of being told their worth is in their looks and not their abilities or intelligence to believe that if they aren't the prettiest in the room their value just went down. Men are just starting to get a taste of this with the new trends in modern media. Let me just tell you, it sucks, because honestly, most of us have so much more to offer than we even know.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.

    You must live with a sad family... I pity you. Those women sound awful.
    you can see why people end up holding those views when they're raised in that dysfunctional environment.
    But how do you decide an entire gender is that way because of two specific women?

    I get along fantastically with my mother. I get along fantastically with my daughter. I get along fantastically with my female cousins, my aunts and my female friends. I love them and I want good things for them and I would bend over backwards to help them and they to help me.

    I guess either I'm lucky or my lack of nastiness attracts like people to me. I just have not had a lot of experience with the jealous, nasty, catty women. I know they're out there. I avoid them.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Women hate women

    I agree with this statement...women secretly and in some cases openly hate each other. Ever see your mother and grandmother in the kitchen together trying to cook? Dear Lord...i'd rather go out to avoid the arguing and nasty looks.

    You must live with a sad family... I pity you. Those women sound awful.
    you can see why people end up holding those views when they're raised in that dysfunctional environment.
    But how do you decide an entire gender is that way because of two specific women?

    I get along fantastically with my mother. I get along fantastically with my daughter. I get along fantastically with my female cousins, my aunts and my female friends. I love them and I want good things for them and I would bend over backwards to help them and they to help me.

    I guess either I'm lucky or my lack of nastiness attracts like people to me. I just have not had a lot of experience with the jealous, nasty, catty women. I know they're out there. I avoid them.
    conditioning, innit?

    my mother is a deranged old bat though... and I don't judge all by her standards.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.

    Yes ma'am

    All of those "Uwotm8", neg threats and "you cheeky kent you" gives you thick skin and makes you forum savvy, nomsaying?

    U are 2 cheeky kents mates I swear on me mum's life

    lol snorted my coffee
  • new_beth_2013
    new_beth_2013 Posts: 109 Member
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    We don't like our competition.

    We've been wired since we were young that we should aspire to be the prettiest girl in the room, always. Because that girl gets everything good. Beauty means everything. Its all we've been told our entire lives. So naturally, we get jealous of our competition, her presence knocks your worth down a few pegs.

    DING DING DING!!!! You nailed it.

    However, as we get a little older, we mature and realize that we pushed away the very people we needed the most. Someone who is emotionally mature will not have the jealousy issues :)

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