Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time

ElC_76

NormInv wrote: »

I don't think this is the right place for strong opinions. It's only a place for support and finding what has worked for others in similar situation. Guess who else has a strong opinion on the internet? Practically everyone

This sounds like a good addititude
It's what I remember this thread being for me. I'd come here when I was stuggling and there was awesome support. It's the only reason I've learnt to moderate as much as I can. Thanks friends

Gingergal12

As with any group sometimes people can say something that you may not agree with...skip over those posts.Overall the group here is supportive and compassionate. Like EIC_76, I’ve learned to moderate. My relationship with alcohol is changing. I’m thankful for be able to come here and learn from you all.

andysport1

WinoGelato wrote: »

I’ve been thinking a lot about this thread and the continued pattern of people who are moderating feeling like their goals aren’t good enough or that we are judged for not going AF, or that some others feel that we are deluding ourselves to believe we can moderate our intake, that we’ve somehow naively convinced ourselves that it tastes good and that it can be healthy to still partake as a moderate drinker.

I was ready last night to make a clean break, but I thought a lot about how hard it was for me in those early days... I didn’t even post until the last day of the January thread even though I had been reading along and working really hard on reducing my intake. I was worried my goals weren’t big enough for those who were going AF, or that me talking about drinking at all would be too difficult for someone who is struggling with theit abstinence goals. In those early days I had a lot of moments where I questioned my strategy and myself, I was having internal debates between my drinking brain and my abstinence brain, and when I did drink I was always worried that I was deluding myself that the fact that I had to think so much about it meant that maybe I did have a big problem.

But then I landed on my epiphany about using a similar approach that I was successful with for weight loss to implement “‘mindful moderation” for my drinking. And after that it became so much easier and I felt so much more in control and now I've just sort of settled into a pattern where some days I’m AF, some days I have 1 drink, and some days I have 3. The days where I drink more are like the days when I eat more - they are special occasions, they are the exception not the rule, and this feels totally normal and healthy to me when I see how my friends tend to partake.

I feel like I’m confident in my abilities to do this totally on my own - just like with my weight loss I’ve reached goal and am very comfortably in maintenance, so a lot of times when I participate on the boards people ask why someone would still be here after 5 years. And my answer is always, I’m not here for myself as much anymore as I am to try to participate and help others who are struggling. And there’s lots of drama on those main boards and people often say things like things anyone who eats processed foods, or sweets in moderation must not care about my health. I respectfully (and sometimes snarkily when warranted) challenge those opinions and I say that there are lots of paths to health and they don’t all require extreme restriction, sweeping changes, moral assignments of good/bad to every individual choice, and that it’s ok to make small changes on the path to a long term healthy and happy lifestyle. I know that this approach on the main boards has been helpful to new members who are struggling and I also know that my posts about moderation tactics in this group can be helpful for new members as well. Maybe they will start with cutting back, and eventually realize they need to cut it all the way out. I think that’s fantastic and I think many of you have gone down that path.

So after that long novella, I guess I won’t rage quit after all. I may be quiet for a while but I will chime in to help anyone who is trying to cut back, not cut out. I do respectfully ask that those going AF try to be considerate of the moderators the way I and many others are considerate and respectful of your goals. And the vast majority of this group absolutely is so supportive of anyone’s goal that is trying to adhere to the group name “less alcohol, one day at a time”

I’m pleased your staying
The only help I can offer to moderators is well done, or keep trying or something similar as I can’t moderate, I don’t get it, my only knowledge is AF, I accept that how I look at alcohol is different from a moderator in the same way I accept that a moderator looks and thinks of alcohol in a different way than I do.

Again I’m pleased your staying and what a great post

andysport1

The book I read easy way by Alan Carr helped me understand what alcohol is to me.
I shared my understanding, I didn’t judge anyone.
I offer encouragement to moderators.

I’m more than happy to leave this group, I’m only here to offer support.

Just say and I’ll go

tifano

I have an allergy to alcohol. When I put it into my body I can’t stop and I’m not sure what kind of actions I will take. The only way to stop my drinking is by blackout/pass out. One drink is too many and a 100 drinks isn’t enough.

I thank God today for my sobriety and God willing I will have 6 years sober on Monday the 13th.

For me alcohol is toxic and poison. For most adults alcohol is fine for them. If you can drink moderately and responsiblily then do that if you’d like. I do know that alcohol consumption can slow weight loss but if that isn’t your health goal and you can drink normal then go for it and enjoy.

No shame or judgement from me. I loved alcohol for many years. For many years it was my best friend and gave me great comfort. Until one day it stopped working for me. I got to the point where I couldn’t live with it or without it. I had to get help for my issues concerning alcohol and I still work daily on applying principals I learned on how to live life on life’s terms sober. I love being sober today, I have the best time being sober and I’m my true authentic self sober.

Enjoy responsibly friends ❤️

SunnyDays930

@tifano Thank you for sharing your insight.

NormInv

donimfp wrote: »

@Ksandoval0401, good for you! The vanity factor is huge for me.

In fact, this morning I realized I was channeling @Norminv when I looked in the mirror and thought, "Damn, girl, you are looking good!"

haha nicely done...

ElC_76

We all need everyone , we are stronger that way..

ElC_76

I have some things I've collected up in the time I've been away, and I
thought I might share it with u all.

ElC_76

ElC_76

U probably already know this or it's in the info at the beginning, just in case someone hasnt seen it.
Happy living my friends

WinoGelato

This really is a great group. Thanks everyone who has chimed in lately. Such great perspectives.

MissMay

Gingergal12 wrote: »

As with any group sometimes people can say something that you may not agree with...skip over those posts.Overall the group here is supportive and compassionate..

I strongly agree with this comment. There will always be posts that do not interest or add to our own separate situations.
Skip them.
I certainly have, and no one is any worse for wear because of it.
Just my 2 cents....

And many,many thanks to everyone here that has made my checking in every day easier for me in my "less" journey.

100_PROOF_

Just wanted to say that I'm following along, I don't have anything really useful to add right now but I'm still reading here

ElC_76

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

Just wanted to say that I'm following along, I don't have anything really useful to add right now but I'm still reading here

Uve got guts,.. lol

RubyRed427

Good morning, friends. I apologize if I was too forceful in my post recently about alcohol being a poison. It is one for me. And I hope you understand I have never stated that people shouldn’t drink. Lord knows I really enjoyed my love affair with alcohol while it lasted. But for me, it is just awful. The effects on me I feared would harm my organs. I have gone to the point of no return. My brain is a pickle and no longer a cucumber.

I’m doing well; I am nearly 3 weeks AF. I’m adjusting ( finally ) to the reality that I can no longer even take one sip. Or I will spiral downward fast. It’s my new lifestyle. And I have come to peace with it. I go to painting classes, walk over 13,000 steps a day and feel less anxious. Happy we all decided to stick it through with each other. We are like a family. And sometimes families have disagreements; but we know that there is a great foundation beneath that we have built together. Xo

@andysport1 I love your participation and comments. You’re a great addition to our thread. Hugs!

tracimcp

Is it normal to feel tired the first week? I noticed my sleep hasn't been as good right now either. I hope I get the energy you all are talking about soon!

RubyRed427

tracimcp wrote: »

Is it normal to feel tired the first week? I noticed my sleep hasn't been as good right now either. I hope I get the energy you all are talking about soon!

Took me about 2.5 weeks to get that energy. And sleep for me is always an issue- just don’t sleep well in general. I imagine that it has something to do with the sugar withdrawal/dopamine effect has changed because you’re not drinking. I felt anxious and depressed for the first week.

donimfp

@tracimcp, the first two weeks , which I’m just past, I was super tired during the day but then couldn’t sleep well at night because I would wake up suddenly feeling panicked. It’s a bummer but I just kept reassuring myself that my body was readjusting. It has really calmed down now. Hang in there. As they say, it gets better.

RubyRed427

@erikNJ Don’t give up on us. We are a motley crew with passion and determination but our hearts are in the right place.

pjmfitforme

So glad I found this group. While I am in the modification group-I appreciate all the comments and insights

JohnBarth

pjmfitforme wrote: »

So glad I found this group. While I am in the modification group-I appreciate all the comments and insights

Keep up the great work! AF for just over a month now and plan to stay AF Through August. Beginning next month, I'll likely follow your example of limiting consumption to weekends and restricting to non-binge levels.

LC0924

Just another new-ish person who wanted to say I appreciate all of you and your insights - moderating or abstaining, you’re all great ☺️

WinoGelato

Since we are so into streaks over here - I may have never gotten past 8 days AF (but again, not really trying for that) but I am on my 2,000th consecutive day logging on MFP. Just a little humblebrag but wanted to make the point that no matter what your goals are, half the battle is just showing up. And I firmly believe the reason I'm able to still count myself successful at maintaining my weight loss is that I kept showing up, even after my goal was attained.

Whether you are a moderator or an abstainer - just keep showing up. It really does make a difference.

donimfp

@WinoGelato, well done! In logging on does that mean you carefully log your calories? I have never managed to make that a consistent habit but now that I’m feeling less angst about alcohol maybe I’m ready to try to make that a discipline. Weight isn’t a huge issue for me but I’d certainly be glad to lose some. I realize this is probably a very stupid question to ask on MFP but do you find logging food/calories is important?

WinoGelato

donimfp wrote: »

@WinoGelato, well done! In logging on does that mean you carefully log your calories? I have never managed to make that a consistent habit but now that I’m feeling less angst about alcohol maybe I’m ready to try to make that a discipline. Weight isn’t a huge issue for me but I’d certainly be glad to lose some. I realize this is probably a very stupid question to ask on MFP but do you find logging food/calories is important?

I've logged into the site for 2000 straight days and other than a few planned "logging free periods" this year where I was attempting to ride without my training wheels, I've logged my food intake for probably 1975 of those days. I even log on Christmas and Thanksgiving!

Yes, this is a bit of an off topic point for this thread but I believe the number one factor for success in using MFP to manage your weight is accurately logging your food intake, ideally using a food scale (which I don't use - but I'm a bit of an exception in that regard) so you know how many calories you are taking in.

donimfp

@WinoGelato, thanks for the reply. I know it's off-topic and don't mean to take the discussion on a new direction. Wow. I'm going to have to try that. It sounds really daunting. 1975 days? I'm super impressed. I'll go find other discussions if I need further info, but thanks!

RubyRed427

LC0924 wrote: »

Just another new-ish person who wanted to say I appreciate all of you and your insights - moderating or abstaining, you’re all great ☺️

Happy you’re here, too!

Orphia

Agree with WinoGelato.

I'm on a 1217 day MFP logging streak. I log everything, every day. Takes a couple of minutes, max.

I keep tabs on my bank balance. I look at my calorie balance the same way. I don't spend calories I haven't earned.

klorben

Hi- I’m new here, and so glad to have found this thread. Not looking to go completely AF, but I’m trying to find a way to strongly moderate the amount I drink. As of now, I drink about 2-3 times a week, but will consume several drinks during those few days.

My number one difficulty is that my husband is a heavy drinker on the weekends, and I’m quick to give in to peer pressure. Our early dating days were spent going to bars and socializing, and so we both still love to do that. But that leads to bad choices (food and drink) and a high bar tab!

I would love advice on how to manage my own drinking when surrounded by others who are drinking a lot.