Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time

NormInv wrote: »

I don't think this is the right place for strong opinions. It's only a place for support and finding what has worked for others in similar situation. Guess who else has a strong opinion on the internet? Practically everyone

WinoGelato wrote: »

I’ve been thinking a lot about this thread and the continued pattern of people who are moderating feeling like their goals aren’t good enough or that we are judged for not going AF, or that some others feel that we are deluding ourselves to believe we can moderate our intake, that we’ve somehow naively convinced ourselves that it tastes good and that it can be healthy to still partake as a moderate drinker.

I was ready last night to make a clean break, but I thought a lot about how hard it was for me in those early days... I didn’t even post until the last day of the January thread even though I had been reading along and working really hard on reducing my intake. I was worried my goals weren’t big enough for those who were going AF, or that me talking about drinking at all would be too difficult for someone who is struggling with theit abstinence goals. In those early days I had a lot of moments where I questioned my strategy and myself, I was having internal debates between my drinking brain and my abstinence brain, and when I did drink I was always worried that I was deluding myself that the fact that I had to think so much about it meant that maybe I did have a big problem.

But then I landed on my epiphany about using a similar approach that I was successful with for weight loss to implement “‘mindful moderation” for my drinking. And after that it became so much easier and I felt so much more in control and now I've just sort of settled into a pattern where some days I’m AF, some days I have 1 drink, and some days I have 3. The days where I drink more are like the days when I eat more - they are special occasions, they are the exception not the rule, and this feels totally normal and healthy to me when I see how my friends tend to partake.

I feel like I’m confident in my abilities to do this totally on my own - just like with my weight loss I’ve reached goal and am very comfortably in maintenance, so a lot of times when I participate on the boards people ask why someone would still be here after 5 years. And my answer is always, I’m not here for myself as much anymore as I am to try to participate and help others who are struggling. And there’s lots of drama on those main boards and people often say things like things anyone who eats processed foods, or sweets in moderation must not care about my health. I respectfully (and sometimes snarkily when warranted) challenge those opinions and I say that there are lots of paths to health and they don’t all require extreme restriction, sweeping changes, moral assignments of good/bad to every individual choice, and that it’s ok to make small changes on the path to a long term healthy and happy lifestyle. I know that this approach on the main boards has been helpful to new members who are struggling and I also know that my posts about moderation tactics in this group can be helpful for new members as well. Maybe they will start with cutting back, and eventually realize they need to cut it all the way out. I think that’s fantastic and I think many of you have gone down that path.

So after that long novella, I guess I won’t rage quit after all. I may be quiet for a while but I will chime in to help anyone who is trying to cut back, not cut out. I do respectfully ask that those going AF try to be considerate of the moderators the way I and many others are considerate and respectful of your goals. And the vast majority of this group absolutely is so supportive of anyone’s goal that is trying to adhere to the group name “less alcohol, one day at a time”

Gingergal12 wrote: »

As with any group sometimes people can say something that you may not agree with...skip over those posts.Overall the group here is supportive and compassionate..