The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    I second RubyRed about the sugar cravings. I keep lollipops on hand for that.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    From an article I read about Chrissy Hynde, of the Pretenders. I love this.

    At 60 she gave up smoking, drinking and taking drugs. "Alcohol is the real demonic one," she says. "It's so insidious because it's everywhere and it's the gateway to more debauched drugs." She got sober in pretty much the same way she gave up smoking - by reading Alan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking and then "you bite the bullet for a week". She had contemplated giving up for years. "You wake up and you're disgusted, and you throw it all away, and you say never again, and then you repeat it. And then there's the self-loathing. Now I'm not recovering, I'm fully recovered. I never think about it." Instead, she has cultivated other preoccupations - she paints most days and does yoga each morning, wherever she is, pushing back the furniture in hotels and dressing rooms to run through her routine. "I stand on my head," she says, "and I'm good to go."


    Now I'm not recovering, I'm fully recovered.

    That is awesome to read about Chrissy. It is never too late. She probably extended her life many years by quitting all of the carcinogens.

    Did you read about the football player who died? Besides harmful concussions from the NFL, he was heavily impacted by alcohol addiction, his family says. Quite sad.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    @RubyRed427 I did not read that yet but I will. It is tragic.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Hi, all. Send some good thoughts our way (Texas). It has been a hell of a week. I'm returning home today after 4 nights with a relative. Still sober. That's the good news.
  • ryfit626
    ryfit626 Posts: 21 Member
    Up_n_Running wrote: »

    Welcome to our group! Good to have you on board. It can feel scary at first, but it only gets easier the longer you stay the course.

    I now PREFER a sober life. 4 months ago ? I never thought I would be saying that. I had lots of raw emotion to deal with. It was hard. But I found that being sober, gave me a space to unpack and process baggage and ultimately begin the healing process that I so needed. All I had been doing up until that point ? Was drowning my emotions with wine. They were still there. So through sobriery and healing, I no longer need / want to drink.

    Good luck on your journey! 🧡
    RubyRed427 wrote: »

    Welcome! In the beginning , I was bare knuckling it! Just hanging in there through cravings and habits. Cooking was hard to do because I drank wine during cooking. After work was hard to deal with , because I stopped for happy hours. BUT it is doable. And that's why people say just take one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow. Just stay sober today.

    You may experience sugar cravings because you're used to the dopamine kick from alcohol, so maybe hard candy nearby could help.
    For some of us, alcohol use has become troublesome and not worth the consequences.
    Check out this thread's earlier book recommendations and youtube videos. You'll learn a lot and it is motivating to know you are not alone!

    I just wanted to say thanks for the warm welcome!

  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    @Up_n_Running First let me offer my deepest condolences for the loss of your parents at such a young age, for all of you. What an enormous responsibility to take on, as well as dealing with your own grief. No wonder you drank. Who wouldn't? It seems to be that yes, you have "done your duty" as far as being responsible for him. Now he is a young man and can begin to be less dependent on you. Of course, he will always be family; you aren't going to cut him loose completely, but he does need to learn to find his own path.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @Up_n_Running You are in a tough spot. You do care for him and you probably also have extra empathy for him since you both lost your parents. You are a beautiful person to have taken him in. He is a typical young person, takes advantage of "caregivers". Plus I am sure you pay for things like food, bills for him. Does he work? Hope he contributes sometime because that will build character.

    Maybe videotape him when he is saying things to you and show him the next day. He may not remember.

    I see him in me. That drinking obsessions is strong at any age.

    My daughter just texted me that she vomited for the first time ever from drinking ; I feel so sorry for her and so worried; I hope she doesn't have my disease. Time will tell.

    I'm scrapbook this weekend; last night my friend said "Ruby, I brought the pear vodka and cranberry..... Oh wait ,you don't drink anymore, do you?" I said "No.... but that sure does sound good. Enjoy!"
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    When you mentioned @Up_n_Running that he has the thirst.
    I call that the obsession.
    When I drink one night, the obsession continues the next day, I think about when my next drink will be. What will it be? Where will I go to happy hour? Just compulsive alcohol thinking thoughts.

    For me, it's a compulsion that can never be quelled.
    That's why some of us are just better of living a sober life. The compulsion lifts a bit and after some traction, you. are better able to analyze if you want to go down that drunken road again. I sure don't.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    edited February 2021
    One last comment, my sponsor's daughter was in high school when she approached her mom and said she is going to go to AA. My sponsor said she had no idea at all that her daughter was drinking.
    So, this young girl took herself to AA in high school. What a wise person. It took me decades to quit.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    I also am reflecting on what you said about putting in the time to stay sober and your brother is just carefree drinking.
    I felt that a lot of times. I was jealous of my friends drinking their vodkas and long island iced teas and there I was drinking club soda. But then I remind myself not to worry about them, just do you.

    Clearly that's hard to do when your brother lives with you.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    I remember the time I poured my out heart to my husband; I told him I know I have a drinking problem. I even wrote him a long letter apologizing for all that I have done drunk, etc.
    We were out to dinner and I was embarrassed to finally say I am an alcoholic......
    Then, the waiter came and my husband said "I'll order a glass of red wine." (for himself)

    UGH! That was not the support I was looking for!!!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @Up_n_Running, (Wow, my first time not typing your Foo Foo handle) . . . you are incredibly strong. I really don't think there are many of us (certainly not ME) who could hold up as well as you have in your situation.

    I'm just glad you've seen how beautiful sober life feels and how giving that up would be doing yourself a huge disservice. Hang in there. I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    @billyfallon1 Day 1 is over probably - hooray! Now on to day 2. Just think one day at a time. And never stop trying!

    @chariotlady Thank you for your post. I reread it twice to really absorb your wise words. I understand where you are coming from. I am also slowly changing my friend groups-they're good people but alcohol is at the center of every, single thing we do.

    Recently I planned a solo trip to FLA, and my drinking friend heard and asked me twice if she can come.
    I want to tell her the truth: NO because you drink Long Island iced teas all day long on vacations; I know because I have vacationed with her for many years. Since I am striving to be sober, her presence is hard for me because of course, I would love to drink but I cannot. So, I told her no I want to be alone.

    Anyway, I noticed you said you went to Spain and thought your could drink again.

    I watched a video and the guy said when you take a break from drinking and go back to alcohol you pick up where you would have been had you been drinking all along; is that what happened to you? You went right back into heavy drinking?

    @chariotlady My sister recommended Women in Sobriety too. She is nearly one year sober. Hope you stop by again. I really benefited from your words!

  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    Up_n_Running wrote: »
    My partner told me that, my brother poured the rest of his alcohol down the kitchen drain last night

    Hmmmmm. That's interesting. Maybe he has had enough 🤔

    I remember doing that, making promises to myself that today will be different, and then sheepishly stopping after work to buy a bottle. So many wasted bottles I poured down the sink. But those episodes collectively brought me to where I am today. So at least it's a good start for him. Congrats on 4 months!!! Amazing!!!

    Last night the scrapbooking girls had French martinis. Oh how I used to make them and love them. But I felt my lip snarl a little bit when they asked me if I wanted one. What I observed is these people are not like me. I didn't see them say "let's have another round" or anything like that. Ahhh. they're normal drinkers, must be nice.

    I do feel for how badly your brother's hangover must have been. OMG those were wicked times; hangovers where you saw the world around you go by and people doing things and I was lying in bed praying to God to help me or at least kill me, I felt so badly!!!
  • aroze0928
    aroze0928 Posts: 254 Member
    Still hanging in still sober after my slip up last month. @Up_n_Running congrats on your 4 months!
    I woke up pretty depressed and sad this morning. My husband is back full swing into drinking after giving it up for 3 months. Well last night he said the lousiest things to some of us that were having a great time carrying on alcohol free. It hurts. But how long do you carry it around now? We know the source we know hes a bad character when he drinks not all the time but alot. Idk. Im pretty disgusted. And all the more reason not to drink. Seeing is believing. And I want nothing to do with alcohol.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @Up_n_Running, I like that advice from Bex Weller about treating yourself to something besides alcohol. Of course I'm not going anywhere during the pandemic, but I often think about the trip I took to Italy a couple of years ago and wonder how on earth I could go back there and not drink. Wine was so much a focus of our trip that my sister-in-law actually quit her job and bought a winery in Virginia when we returned. I have wanted very much to go see her beautiful winery but thought, "How could I possibly do that and say 'no thank you' to tasting the wines?" After my Jan. 6 disaster, I know for sure that there would be no such thing as tasting the wines and then jumping right back into sobriety. I do like the idea of pre-planning something wonderful for yourself to enjoy while others are drinking. Thanks for that thought.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    I have a general idea of when the last drink was/day one, but I do not count. I have no idea what year I even quit smoking. I prefer not to think about it at all.

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