The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Hi Friends, Looks like another sunny day here in the Midwest. Yesterday, the wine devil was quite strong. I sat down at an outside bar waiting for a friend, and I thought if she orders wine, so will I.
*She always orders a drink when we go out.
So, she sat down and ordered a water. WTH! So that was a nudge from the sober angels of the universe to continue this sober quest.
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I feel strong, very very strong. Eight days ago I ran a Marathon. I drank no alcohol day after like I had originally planned. Original plan was doughnuts and chocolate wine for breakfast, didn't happen. Right decision!
I felt totally in control of my life this week, although, I was completely exhausted. I threw a very small graduation party for my daughter. There was alcohol at it, and I drank none.
We went to a graduation party last night. I dressed up, felt pretty and had a nice time and enjoyed being present and alive. I smiled, made conversation and genuinely felt so happy. Alcohol had no part in the beauty of it. Nobody offered me any and even if they had, I'd have declined. Nobody cared because everyone was creating their own version of fun. I'm streaking something beautiful and it's no longer just a number now, it's actually about really living. I don't need alcohol to have fun or to heighten any experience.
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Good Morn to All
Just a random thought to share. I remember my former husband who suffers with alcoholism saying that he never got hungover & I remember thinking, "How could that be?" Yet, When I think back to my own alcohol career, I rarely got hungover in the typical way I used to in my party days way back when I would be at least one entire day on the couch eating pure junk and drinking an entire 2L bottle of Pepsi feeling depressed and usually ashamed of something I said or did. If I was especially hungover I could lose 2 days in the week to a hangover.
In the not too recent past, I rarely drank to that extent, but I became a habitual/daily dependent drinker & I think I just felt like crap much of the time. I think I just got used to feeling like a dog's breakfast most days and would look forward to a few drinks later in the day to bring me back up to not feeling "quite as bad" as a dog's breakfast. THAT, ladies & gents, is NO way to live this life that we have been gifted.
As I sit here this morn with my delish coffee and appreciating the bird's songs and the peacefulness of the poofy clouds rolling through the sky & the quiet still of the early part of the day, I am SO thankful to have a clear mind & a clear heart.
I think it has been 40 days since I gave up sugar and wheat and am beginning to really feel the effects of not being bloated every day and congested, kind of like my body being clogged. @LoveyChar mentioned not being addicted which I envy because I've realized how much of an addictive nature I have. It's taken decades for me to shed all of the various substances I have used to medicate myself and my first love and last vice to misuse is food. BUT as with any other addiction it isn't about the food for me. As Gabor Mate says, "The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain?" SO, that is what I am addressing is the "why" of my addictions...there in lies the answer to why multiple diets have not worked for me. It is the same with alcohol...the answer does not lie in abstaining from a substance, but in creating a new life where you do not feel the "need" for the substance.
May all of us here continue to work hard to create a new life that fulfills the craving for that which alcohol or any other substance can never fill. For me it involves loving myself enough to want to take care of myself and to be the best version of me.
Happy AF day to all
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@lorrainequiche59 Congratulations on 40 days of no sugar and wheat and on feeling better! Today is Day #1 for me of no sugar.4
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9 days AF. I feel pretty good about that.11
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Day #1 of no sugar will have to start tomorrow as I failed miserably today. I should clarify that when I say I'm not addicted to sugar, I'm really just saying that I don't have withdrawal symptoms of aches, pains, shakes, etc. that I would like a drug addict may have coming off of a horrible substance. I do still, however, get very moody and irritable without sugar so if that's part of what is considered addiction, then I guess I am. I ate Skittles and the last of my daughter's graduation cookie. I'm done. I'm done. No, I do not eat sugar, but thank you very much (I'm convincing myself).5
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@Up_n_Running Congrats on 100 days...WOOHOOHOOHOO!!!!!5
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Is anyone having issues with their newsfeed?0
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Hi friends, nothing new to report. Went to the principal's retirement gathering; my friend brought me Perrier which was thoughtful. It was BYOB. I watched a teacher with a white bottle of wine and she drank ONE glass and took it home. I was drooling looking at it and marveling- just one glass. Wow. I cannot do that.8
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Hi Everyone. My nephew's wedding is tonight and the wine and champagne will be flowing. I was on the fence about it but have decided not to have champagne in my glass when it comes to the toasts. Sparkling water will have to do. I'm afraid (and rightfully so) that one glass of champagne will open the floodgates so I will pass. I want to remember every single second of this special day and the booze will just take that all away. Pray for dry skies for us as it is outside!7
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Good evening, everyone. Ruby and Foo Foo, it's so great that you guys are doing very well. I've been a member of this group since January 2018 and I'm so grateful for everyone here. Unless I'm really forgetting something, and I don't think I am, I'm the only person I can remember in those 3-plus years who confessed to a relapse after a significant period of sobriety and was totally slapped down and told that nobody poured the booze down my throat so I should stop shirking responsibility. I've really tried to move past that. But every time I log on here I have to say my stomach drops a little bit. I can't tell y'all how much it hurt to have my honest regret treated with disdain rather than compassion.
Anyway, enough of that. I have to move on. So I'm going to focus on other avenues of support. At this point I feel like logging on here has become counterproductive for me.
I will continue to think of all the friends I've met here and wish for your success. I believe some of you will do the same for me. And that energy is important. I'm currently doing well with sobriety, but I know how fragile that can be. Dreading what I might see here if I confess to "weakness" is making it harder for me to be transparent and admit to struggles.
I wish a wonderful summer for everyone. Foo Foo, your tattoo will be a great affirmation. I'll be thinking of you. Ruby, thank you for starting this group long ago, and Jen, thank you for keeping it going.
xoxo
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@donimfp That makes me sad that you won't be joining us anymore but I understand you have to do what is best for you. I hope you remember that we all rallied behind you when that happened and basically kicked that person out. We haven't seen him on here since. Regardless, I totally understand why you need to find other resources. Please remember we are here for you. We truly are your friends.6
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Good evening, everyone. Ruby and Foo Foo, it's so great that you guys are doing very well. I've been a member of this group since January 2018 and I'm so grateful for everyone here. Unless I'm really forgetting something, and I don't think I am, I'm the only person I can remember in those 3-plus years who confessed to a relapse after a significant period of sobriety and was totally slapped down and told that nobody poured the booze down my throat so I should stop shirking responsibility. I've really tried to move past that. But every time I log on here I have to say my stomach drops a little bit. I can't tell y'all how much it hurt to have my honest regret treated with disdain rather than compassion.
Anyway, enough of that. I have to move on. So I'm going to focus on other avenues of support. At this point I feel like logging on here has become counterproductive for me.
I will continue to think of all the friends I've met here and wish for your success. I believe some of you will do the same for me. And that energy is important. I'm currently doing well with sobriety, but I know how fragile that can be. Dreading what I might see here if I confess to "weakness" is making it harder for me to be transparent and admit to struggles.
I wish a wonderful summer for everyone. Foo Foo, your tattoo will be a great affirmation. I'll be thinking of you. Ruby, thank you for starting this group long ago, and Jen, thank you for keeping it going.
xoxo
You should always do what's best for you. If something gives you dread, you do not need to continue. We understand. We can relate 100 percent to your struggles. If you change your mind, we will welcome you back with open arms. We learned and grew from your posts. Sending you big hugs.4 -
Hi Friends, My streak ended two days ago. I had a bottle of wine and had a brown out. Did a few weird things that I only discovered the next morning. I have to laugh at this and not cry. I knew that the power of keeping track of my months was weighing on me soooo much. I started to have anxiety thinking about being "perfect " and keeping my streak going. It was 9.5 months long. And I am really proud I did it during a pandemic and tough school year.
I do regret having that bottle but don't entirely regret it. I learned once again. I couldn't stop at one. I became snarky and snippy to loved ones. I signed up for a dating website while drunk and had messages from guys the next morning. I am down $114 because I was cognizant enough to even pay for this website's membership with a credit card- OMG. Wasted money because I have no interest in dating. I deactivated right away.
Please don't feel you need to console me. I am really fine with myself. I do not regret it. I am still very proud of my accomplishments. I told my sister and she gave me big hugs. She knows exactly where I am coming from. I am going to start fresh again. Maybe not even count the days/months. Just be sober today.
I had all the warning signs that I totally ignored. I had plenty of resources that I could have chose- like call a friend, attend a meeting, call my sister, etc. But I chose to stick my head in a bottle. The only saving grace was my hangover was not that bad. Onward and upward.
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@RubyRed427 Thank you for your words. It takes courage to admit when we have done what we regret. I like your attitude though. Onward. And out of 9.5 months you drank exactly one day. Girl PLEASE! Amazing accomplishment! XXOO6
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@RubyRed427 Thank you for your words. It takes courage to admit when we have done what we regret. I like your attitude though. Onward. And out of 9.5 months you drank exactly one day. Girl PLEASE! Amazing accomplishment! XXOO
Thanks Jen ! 4 -
@RubyRed427 I agree with @JenT304 .5
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@LoveyChar Appreciate your kindness.
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@Up_n_Running I will say a prayer for him and for you as well. And kudos to you for not going to the bottle to deal with a stressful situation. Keep us posted.4
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Up_n_Running wrote: »@Up_n_Running I will say a prayer for him and for you as well. And kudos to you for not going to the bottle to deal with a stressful situation. Keep us posted.
Thanks Jen. I'm over eating instead to cope with the stress. I wish I wasn't using food but it's the lesser of the 2 options for me.
That is very sad to hear about your brother. I'm so sorry. Is there someone you could call? Like your therapist or someone to see what can be done or some resources for him. I will pray he gets the strength to seek help. And be sure to take care of your health, too. I'm so sorry.4 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »@Up_n_Running I will say a prayer for him and for you as well. And kudos to you for not going to the bottle to deal with a stressful situation. Keep us posted.
Thanks Jen. I'm over eating instead to cope with the stress. I wish I wasn't using food but it's the lesser of the 2 options for me.
He is probably still very traumatized over the death of your parent(s) and this is how he is coping. Maybe your boyfriend can intervene and go over there; I'm sure you tried that. Maybe you can reach out to a clergy person who also has helpful phone numbers you can call. I'm just grappling for ideas...4 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »Thanks @RubyRed427
Well his girlfriend has forced him to call the doctor for help. (She said that he pretends all is well, when he is back home with me). But she is seeing something different. His doctor has actually contacted me, to find out if he was alright cos he wasn't answering the phone to speak to the doctor. I spoke to him on text message earlier, apparently he is coming home tomorrow and also plans to actually speak to the doctor tomorrow as well.
He won't answer his phone, and when I text, I need to wait long stretches of time to get a reply. Its funny cos only weeks ago, I asked if I could add his girlfriend on Snapchat....I had no contact details for her prior to this so it's been a blessing that I had a way of having contact with her. I am so grateful for her honesty and letting me know what he has been hiding from me.
Sounds like his girlfriend is a truly good person, that she contacted you and told you this situation. She's in it to help him. I'm happy he will get some help. This might be rock bottom- who knows? And this could be the start of good things for him.3 -
Hugs to everyone dealing with their stuff 5
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I wish I had been able to say Bye to @donimfp. Sad to see her go
She was a valuable part of our group
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Good morning friends! I sure feel good today. Last night, I went to a family wedding (half the guests were Russians) so each table setting had a small bottle of vodka on it. You know those little shot size bottles. The wedding favors were shot glasses. When I sat down, I saw I didn't have one. I think my sister snagged it so I didn't see it and have to deal with looking at it.
Here were some observations:
A table of three young priests and their wives (Russians) had a magnum of vodka on their table. More than 3/4 of that huge bottle was gone by the end of the evening. They toasted everything; I saw the wives wag their fingers at them, but the men sheepishly kept on drinking. Can you imagine the hangover today?
My Dad said to me he observed a lot of the young women quite drunk. Well, it was a wedding. I remember having that much fun too.
When I was leaving, I saw a wedding party guy being driven away with his head leaning on the window looking like death.
Anyway, I don't judge them. I am just so delighted my sister and I were completely sober. I may have caved in if she wasn't there. So, today I wake up quite happy with no hangover. One day at a time...7 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »Iv managed to get some help arranged for my brother. He decided to speak to a doctor, thank goodness. 🙏
I'm needing to take more time off work to make sure he does follow through with plans and to be available to make any arrangements etc. He really isn't well.
Only blessing is he is willing (for now at least) to accept help. So fingers crossed.
Your brother sounds a little bit like my cousin. Out of control and needing help. I know how dearly you love him. I know you will take good care of him and help. Perhaps, this will be a turning point for him.
p.s. My sponsor's daughter became sober at age 19. My sponsor said she never even saw her daughter drunk, but the girl hid her drinking well enough. On her own, she started attending AA. And has been sober ever since. So, I applaud these young people who are being honest with themselves and seeing that there is a problem that needs to be solved.6
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