The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

RubyRed427

Happy Thanksgiving to our friends in USA. I’m thankful for all of you everywhere ! 💕🍗🍂

Ke22yB

A happy Thanksgiving to all
Having a wonderful day with my daughters their husbands my grandkids
We all worked cooked prepared together had a wonderful meal followed by a long walk together
No Alcohol served not a drop and a good time had
The non drinkers the recovering drinkers all enjoyed themselves
No drama no hard feelings no arguments

donimfp

@Ke22yB, you are always such a great inspiration. Thanks for that!

So Monday I return to juvenile detention. In preparation, I went back to last April 1, which was when I went AF and maintained that until the end of June. I'm not even sure of the number of days . . . at least 80. Then the tinnitus really knocked me off track, and I've been off and on since late summer, which feels like yesterday but I realize is 3 months of frustrating non-success.

Reading my posts while AF for that period reminded me of how wonderful I felt and how great my sleep was and how entering juvie with no hangover was so pleasant. My last two months there were so much better than the first 7 that I almost rescinded my resignation. I'm so glad I didn't. My health fell apart after May. I'm back to healthy again.

BUT, as I return to work Monday in a wildly less stressful capacity, I feel I really must be completely alcohol free. I've had more AF days than not since August, but that's not going to cut it when I must get up by 6 a.m. ready to roll every morning. I know that many "experts" recommend setting an intention to be AF for 100 days or 90 days or whatever. I'm setting my intention to be AF for this school year. I have no idea how many days that is, but from now until the first Monday in June. I don't even remember the consistent good sleep now, but that is something I look forward to.

Here's to a wonderful December, everyone!

RubyRed427

@donimfp I wish you the best as you go back to your job but in a different capacity. Yes we never regret being AF; it’s like opening a gift every morning when you have not drank the night before.

SunnyDays930

Happy December to all! A lot of people start fresh at the beginning of the month, trying to be alcohol free. If that is you and you are reading this, welcome to our friendly thread. I know December can be extremely hard to get though without the crutch of alcohol so we are here for you to vent or comment or just follow silently for strength in overcoming that Devil that is addiction. For me personally, I plan to either skip or just make brief appearance at events like holiday parties where the wine will be flowing and the temptation great. I'll be hosting Christmas Eve but there will be enough AF people that it won't be noticed that I am not indulging. Any and all tips to get through this stressful month are greatly appreciated!

no44s4me

RubyRed427 wrote: »

@donimfp I wish you the best as you go back to your job but in a different capacity. Yes we never regret being AF; it’s like opening a gift every morning when you have not drank the night before.

Could not have said it better! Thanks!

RubyRed427

@donimfp On a sad note, I saw the young man who was stabbed in London worked with young inmates educating them on law. Made me think of you.

@JenT304 Good plan- pop in and out of holiday parties. I don't really have any planned this month, but I'm sure some Will evolve.

Tips: Have no alcohol at home. When I have a craving, it helps immensely not to have anything here In my apartment or I will drink it.
Splash of Cranberry juice in seltzer with some cranberries as garnish

Since I've cut way back on alcohol and have gotten acupuncture, my hot flashes are almost non-existent. Hooray! The acupuncture has been specifically for menopause; seems to help.

What are some good apps for dry January? When I did Dry January last year, it really set off some positive behavior. I'm an all or nothing girl- just can't sip, I chug. So, it's best I just abstain.

@Ke22yB What a refreshing holiday table! No alcohol and just good feelings and conversation.

donimfp

My sister, my brother, my husband, and I all have December birthdays. So it’s a rare December week that offers no chance to celebrate something!

I saw a little piece on Oprah’s Favorite Things, and when they showed a fancy wine opener and asked Gayle King about it she said, “Well Gayle doesn’t drink and neither does Steadman, so Oprah’s on her own with that one.” For some reason that was encouraging to me. Probably because I’m sure Oprah serves up some mighty good wine.

lorrainequiche59

Happy AF day to all

Happy first day back @donimfp

IWillTakeBackMyLife

Good morning. Today is not a good day for me. Today is the day that wasn't supposed to exist, but it is happening right now. I don't know what to do, but it is happening again. After 232 days of being alcohol free, I have failed. 30 minutes ago and ongoing, I am consuming ethanol. I'm not going to be pessimistic about it right now... I know that I need to stop and get right back on the horse. If I make it a big deal in my head then it will be a big deal. I need to be logical here and tell someone about it, right? Tell someone I'm struggling?

However, continuing on in the face of failure has been hard. In more ways than alcoholism or food addiction. Continuing on trying to be happy, trying to be a better person, trying to be a healthier person, all of this, no matter how much better I feel physically, no matter how much my life has improved, my environment, my relationships, through all of it, I am not happy. I feel like I am losing my mind all the time. I feel like no matter how much I try nothing chips away at what is wrong inside. The only way I can see to adapt is to constantly adopt the attitude that failure is something to be learned from and insanity much the same. However, obviously that isn't working out, as evidenced by the present.

The only person who I could even try to talk to about this would just make it about them self, freak out and throw a tantrum and then shut down completely and treat it with indifference. I am an honest person when it comes to addiction, usually to a fault, but I think this one is staying private. It won't help anything. It will just hurt. The only thing I can do is get back on the horse and do my best to make sure everyone else is happy. That's all I can do. Just trying to please everyone else and repressing everything until something like this inevitability happens. I didn't see it coming, there were a million times I saw it coming, but not today. No good reason. I guess all of the stress I have been under finally could no longer hold and old habits seeped through in a manner too impulsive to rationalize.

I know that I probably need therapy but I can't bring myself to try. I don't want to be a burden.

donimfp

@IWillTakeBackMyLife , how wonderful that you trust those of us on this forum. Your pain is so evident. I can’t even imagine 232 AF days. My knee-jerk response is that 1 day out of 232 days is no big deal. But obviously it is a big deal. I’d just like to encourage you to “try” therapy. Having an insightful, empathic person in my corner has meant everything to me. It sounds like you need that person who can really be there for you and to whom you can safely unload. And my therapist has given me so much insight into myself in addition to the listening ear. I know I may be lucky to have found a person with whom I really click, but you sound like therapy could be a valuable asset for you. Above all be kind to yourself!

donimfp

@lorrainequiche59, how very kind of you to think of me. I worked hard today and am exhausted but it was an incredible feeling to drive home knowing I needn’t give work another thought until I get back there tomorrow morning. That’s a liberating first for a lifelong obsessive compulsive teacher!! My colleagues welcomed me back like royalty so it was a real ego boost. The whisper among the kids was “Who’s that white lady?” I look forward to meeting this new “crop”.

SunnyDays930

@IWillTakeBackMyLife You are a valuable member of our community here. I am terribly proud of you. 232 days sober is an amazing accomplishment. Way better than I have ever done. Despite all the BS we must put up just by being human, life CAN be beautiful for you. Your happiness matters. I urge you to seek therapy for your depression. You have your whole life in front of you. You deserve to feel peace.

nighthawk584

This Thanksgiving and my birthday on 12/1 was the 1st time I was totally sober in at least 30-35 years. It was a good feeling!

lloydrt

Iwilltakeback..............I have a brother who was a terrible alcoholic and abused drugs for years......about 30 years. He drank daily, had 6 DUI's and had a terrible temper when he drank........I gave up on him
on Dec of 2004 he stopped drinking.....totally and stopped getting high........that's it . He stopped cold turkey. For about 8 months or so I knew he stopped but stayed my distance
After about 1 year I got involved with him again, we visited , did stuff and I really, really never knew he was so nice, so caring and nice........just a pleasant brother to be around

He told me last year, about 14 years AFTER he stopped that one night he drank some wine...........and that was about 8 years ago, so after 8 years he had one drink

He felt bad, asked himself and God for forgiveness and put it behind him....its over and done with. He now is retired , does Hospice work, he went thru the training and also does Meals on Wheels..........

he is very religious too........

so, don't kick yourself to death.........you have done great, look at all the days you DIDN'T drink.............you have on slip up.............

If my brother threw in the towel 8 years ago with one slip up, he wouldn't be a great person today..........

keep in touch with this site.........people really care

whitpauly

@IWillTakeBackMyLife ,I'm so sorry,do you know what happened to make you wanna drink? Brush it off,I once had a relapse and one of my support group ladies said to just be like Taylor Swift and "Shake it off" sounds dumb but it made me laugh and I didn't feel that heavy sadness as much,this is WHY I continue to come here daily to protect my quit,this thread has been very quiet so I post on the less alcohol thread and it still helps,we gotta keep it fresh in our minds what our goal is and to work on that on a daily basis,not dwell on it but defo keep it front and center in our minds,hope all are well and wishes for a fab AF day 💖

aroze0928

@IWillTakeBackMyLife I've done it we've all done it here. I would feel stress boom grab a beer. Something happens to make me uncomfortable run to the fridge grab a cold one.
Dont be upset your human. Life can get tricky.
Have something to eat, take a shower, rest your mind, forgive yourself and move on. Peace and blessings to you.

lorrainequiche59

@IWillTakeBackMyLife Hugs

RubyRed427

@IWillTakeBackMyLife I love your username! You will take back your life. Don't be too hard on yourself. Life is messy and has ups and downs. You did so well for so long. One bad day isn't as bad as you think. It also sounds like you give way to much of yourself to others; it is time to be selfish for once. Focus on YOU and your needs. The world will keep spinning. You are the priority for now. Please do that for yourself. You are full of too much guilt. Take a step back and please don't dwell too much on this.

I also recommend two authors and youtube videos you can view on the subject of not being too hard on yourself. Look up Miguel Ruiz and/or Eckhart Tolle. I watch their videos and it really brings things back into perspective.

I agree with others please find a therapist. It really is a liberating feeling telling someone all your fears, secrets, shame, and guilt... it unburdens you. IT really does. You will feel so much better if you talk to a therapist. Come back to this thread and let us know how you're doing today. We care about you. xo

whitpauly

@IWillTakeBackMyLife ,how are you feeling today? Please don't be so hard on yourself,I know that deep remorse and the wondering why did I do that feeling 😔 all you can do is brush it off honestly,great advice by everyone 💗 have a great AF day all!