The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Hi Ruby Red . The student( drunk driver ) that killed my cousin is in jail as well....sad, he left a school party drunk and hit my cousin on his motorcycle head on at 2 30 am in the morning.....my cousin Scott was a stage manager for a theatre and was in charge of clean up and putting things away after the event is over...........He had 2 sons and one one on the way when he was killed....A hard working father that loved his wife and children........worked all the time to support his family, only to be killed so tragically
...I think the 17 year old driver was in the 11th grade. Not sure, but I think hes still sitting in prison.........sad. My poor aunt whose son Scott was killed by a drunk driver also had a second son who was t boned in his van by a drunk and killed him too.......she had to bury 2 sons about 8 years apart ..........and the toll its taken of her and the family is indescribable.....I am so thankful that I dont drink..........nothing can make me go back to what Ruby describes, about waking up with a racing heart and feeling horrible,.that is what happened to me when I drank 2 or more glasses of wine...........good luck to all, Ill keep you all in thought...6 -
Thank you for the book suggestion Ruby....just ordered and get it Monday!2
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6:24 am in Vegas another 24 💖 hope everyone has a great AF day!4
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@lloydrt Wow. That is so sad. Thank you for sharing. We need to be reminded that there is nothing at all glamorous about alcohol. So many lives deeply affected by that poison. Reading these posts continues to strengthen my resolve about remaining AF.6
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I have the gumroad app from tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com I listened to a good audio lesson on willpower. She speaks about distorted thinking that is always going on in your head. She says you can't think your way into being sober. So, you need things external to you to help you.
She says are you going to be alone in your head with that thinking?
Or are you going to get out of your head...to get you out of your circular thinking?
Her basic point is we need TOOLS to help us get out of the thinking about drinking.
Here are some tools: read books, calling a friend, listen to a podcast, talk to a counselor....write on this thread on MFP.
We need a strategy; We need accountability.
We need sober support.
I really enjoy her pod casts. Wishing all a great day! We have lots of snow which I love.
I am meeting my daughter for coffee soon with no hangover.
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6:25 am in Vegas another 24 💖 hope everyone has a great AF day!3
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@RubyRed427 Definintely remaining sober is more than wishful thinking (I call it merry-go-round thinking when my brain goes in a loop with the same subject around & round we go), it involves meaningful action like some of the suggestions you have made. Another important aspect is controlling our environment especially in the first segment of our AFness (I know some here do not like the term sobriety, so AFness will be my new label lol)
Inititally, I treated my desire to stay AF like a research project and ended up with varying avenues of support from YouTube videos, articles on the truth about alchohol and addiciton etc and this space was one of my primary tools to stay poison free...for me it was the venting process and I may have had some verbal diarrhea at times being the wordy bird that I am, but this is my process and I have no apologies for spilling my beans. AND I am so appreciative when others feel safe enough on this space to do the same...it is our raw, honest, no BS approach here with kindness and acceptance and genuine concern that makes this thread a very valuable healing tool for us all.
There is strength in numbers!! There is lots of strength here.
Happy AF day to all and happy "working-towards-being AF" day to all 6 -
Hi Everyone! I have missed being here. I hope you will have me again. I have not been doing well. I fell into this habit again. I started up after a few disappointing things happened during my sister's visit. A 10 day visit was too long for one thing. I just can't have one glass. Day 2 here. Yes the guilt, the shame, the anger, the hiding of the cans and bottles, the depression......This is no way to live. The holidays and my birthday are very close together, too. I need to get this under control before then. I need to get further along in this counseling also. Drinking makes missing my son worse. There is just a lot more crying. Counseling is bringing up so many negatives, too. I decided to spread the sessions out a bit more. Thank you for listening.10
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Good morning all
I have been having 5 to 8 beers every night for the past 3 weeks now and really want to stop this BS. Think its because I ex wife and kids moved back into my place she needed help and its killing me a little.
Its great having my kids back in my house but seeing my ex is just not right so at night I don't want to go home so I go to a pub or stay late at work having a couple of drink. I have asked my ex to move you she is killing me slowly but she just tells me where should I go.
So if you have any advice on my stopping drinking that would be great.7 -
@salleewines. Big hug to you. You are always welcome here. I am so sorry you are struggling. We are here for you.
@michaelroode1980 Your situation sounds stressful and you are dealing with your stress they way we here have all been conditioned to; by drinking. I urge you to speak to friends or others that are helpful to you about this. Though it is hard, try to be as present as possible for your children. I don't know how old they are but if they are younger, take them out of the home to outings if you don't want to be there; a play area, the mall, a movie, anything that doesn't involve alcohol.
I read some old advice on here recommending "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace and I finally ordered it. It is seriously resonating with me. I urge those struggling to read it. It is a gentle, no blame, no shame, forgive yourself and move on, wonderful book.
Hugs to all - Jen
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salleewins wrote: »Hi Everyone! I have missed being here. I hope you will have me again. I have not been doing well. I fell into this habit again. I started up after a few disappointing things happened during my sister's visit. A 10 day visit was too long for one thing. I just can't have one glass. Day 2 here. Yes the guilt, the shame, the anger, the hiding of the cans and bottles, the depression......This is no way to live. The holidays and my birthday are very close together, too. I need to get this under control before then. I need to get further along in this counseling also. Drinking makes missing my son worse. There is just a lot more crying. Counseling is bringing up so many negatives, too. I decided to spread the sessions out a bit more. Thank you for listening.
Great to see you @salleewins,I've thought of you often! Great job on day 2 or is it 3 now? 5:59 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a great day 💗6 -
michaelroode1980 wrote: »Good morning all
I have been having 5 to 8 beers every night for the past 3 weeks now and really want to stop this BS. Think its because I ex wife and kids moved back into my place she needed help and its killing me a little.
Its great having my kids back in my house but seeing my ex is just not right so at night I don't want to go home so I go to a pub or stay late at work having a couple of drink. I have asked my ex to move you she is killing me slowly but she just tells me where should I go.
So if you have any advice on my stopping drinking that would be great.
Welcome 🤗 sounds like a stressful situation but in times like that when I want to stay sober I hafta be selfish and put myself first, basically quitting booze and just pretending to be "sick" for a few days so I can lay low and not be bugged5 -
thank you all I think I'm going to take leave and go to my mom and dad for a couple of day's9
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I just looked back and saw I wrote salleewines instead of @salleewins. You see whats on MY mind! Sorry Sallee!4
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I just looked back and saw I wrote salleewines instead of @salleewins. You see whats on MY mind! Sorry Sallee!
Ha ha. But I didnt think of wine until now. You didnt either. It is fine!1 -
@salleewins Glad to see you backmichaelroode1980 wrote: »thank you all I think I'm going to take leave and go to my mom and dad for a couple of day's
Sounds like a plan...sorry about your situation...YES we have all used alcohol to cope and that is why we are here cause, like you, we want to change that. I also like Jen's suggestion to focus on your children as much as you can. But as @Whitpauly said you may need to "Put yourself first."....maybe even before you can put your kids on the list. Keep us posted!! Welcome!!4 -
Good morning all! Last time I posted in December, I was 8 days in again, but I gave up rather quickly around the holidays. However, I'm now at 21 days, which is the longest stretch since my 3 month stint that ended in June. I feel like a switch flipped- as if something changed in me that just said, 'I'm sick of it.' I had a couple thoughts/cravings in the first 2 weeks, but it was easy to dismiss them considering wanting to have another baby. I still think ' Do I really want to make it forever?' but I figure if I hang on long enough, the desire will go away and that thought may become a thing of the past. I'm pleased that I stuck with things despite no rapid weight loss or increase in energy. Hope everyone has a great AF day!6
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Yellowstone1983 wrote: »Good morning all! Last time I posted in December, I was 8 days in again, but I gave up rather quickly around the holidays. However, I'm now at 21 days, which is the longest stretch since my 3 month stint that ended in June. I feel like a switch flipped- as if something changed in me that just said, 'I'm sick of it.' I had a couple thoughts/cravings in the first 2 weeks, but it was easy to dismiss them considering wanting to have another baby. I still think ' Do I really want to make it forever?' but I figure if I hang on long enough, the desire will go away and that thought may become a thing of the past. I'm pleased that I stuck with things despite no rapid weight loss or increase in energy. Hope everyone has a great AF day!
Awesome job! 6:45 am in Vegas another 24 💖 omg I had the worst night of sleep last night,it was awful hope I can get thru work ok7 -
I am so happy to have found this spot. I started with dry January and I really enjoy this new me. I don't take it for granted though. I was in a deep spiral and I am grateful for the ability to clean up my act. However, I will say that there is no way i could manage this without daily meditation, lots of inspiring books, practicing gratitude and writing everyday about my journey. I am at a point in my life that I am just not willing to keep playing games with my health and joy. Good luck everyone!8
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Whitpauly, hope you had a better day3
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