The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Happy Mother's day to all the moms!
I lost my mom in 1994. Every year since, I'd raise a glass to her memory on this day -- she did love her wine. Still will hoist a glass for this evening, but this time it's fizzy water.
When the isolation and working from home started, I thought for sure I'd be at risk for getting back into the bourbon with boredom and stress. It's actually a lot easier than I thought it'd be.
Me too! I was afraid I'd be on a bender the whole time 😆 luckily I've found ways to distract myself+don't want to feel sick from booze, sorry about the loss of your mom,time heals but we NEVER forget! 6:31 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a wonderful AF day 💗4 -
My son turned 22 today. I had my ex, son and daughter over for tacos and cake. I was sober and told my ex if he wants a beverage to BYOB. He didn't which was supportive I think. The evening also made me think of when my son turned 16 and I drank wine all evening at the family party. By 9 p.m. I remember screaming and crying outside tell my husband I wanted a divorce. What a terrible memory to ruin my son's birthday:(
I'm happy to be sober on his birthday today. It is a blessing to all.8 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »My son turned 22 today. I had my ex, son and daughter over for tacos and cake. I was sober and told my ex if he wants a beverage to BYOB. He didn't which was supportive I think. The evening also made me think of when my son turned 16 and I drank wine all evening at the family party. By 9 p.m. I remember screaming and crying outside tell my husband I wanted a divorce. What a terrible memory to ruin my son's birthday:(
I'm happy to be sober on his birthday today. It is a blessing to all.
Iv totally messed up before as well. I planned my brothers 18th birthday for MONTHS and I had all these amazing ideas. When we went out to the restaurant (me, my bro and his gf) I was already tipsy before they arrived. I was waiting there with a big 18 balloon as a surprise. As the evening went on and he was kinda done drinking alcohol I kept on telling him "your 18 now! Have another drink!" Anyway, later on we had a massive row.
Looking back, I was drinking because I was unhappy. I was desperately trying to look and feel happy. I had so much going on. The fact his parents wouldn't be there to celebrate his 18th birthday I think troubled me more than it did him. And all the plans I had to make it a great day, were scuppered by far too much alcohol. Luckily I had chance to make it a great 19th and he is 20 in August. So another opportunity to make good memories. I must learn from my past mistakes, alcohol can completely ruin an evening (especially at the volumes I used to consume).
Happy you had a nice birthday for your son! 😊
Yes, we had a very nice birthday-it was a small gather (four of us).Thanks for sharing your message. It is never too late to make up for the past. I'm happy you and I are trying to improve our lives.
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@FeelinFooFoo You made me think of my past behavior when I would sneak in a few drinks BEFORE a party or going out, and then at the party two more drinks would make me drunk. People couldn't understand why I would be drunk or throwing up with two drinks. Of course, the alcoholic is a cunning fool; all boozed up before an event but acting as if you were taking your first drink at the party.5
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From Belle, Tired of Thinking about Drinking Blog:
I know this woman, I know her very well indeed. I used to be just like her.
When one single day without drinking was unthinkable.
A cast-iron determination in the morning would fade to a panic-induced rush to the store at 6 pm. And who only buys one bottle of wine???
I am not her today, although I could easily be again.
A day without drinking is fine, it is more than fine — it is guilt-free. It costs nothing and gives everything.
This woman wakes up in the morning. Not at 3 am.
This woman wakes up with a clear conscience.
This woman remembers the film she watched eating chocolate, snuggled up on the sofa with her rescued dog.
This woman remembers going to bed in the clean sheets, she remembers to set the alarm and she remembers to take off her makeup.
This woman did try something different — she listened to Belle because she was tired of thinking about drinking. She emailed Belle lots of stupid *kitten*, and she sat with Wolfie and patted him until he quietened down.
This woman has 19 days."
[update: she's on day 25 today]
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The sun is finally shining here in Maryland. I will go on a walk with my daughter and 2 granddaughters today. She is still not comfortable with me coming into her house but that is OK, I will take what I can get. Baby steps. I am happy and thankful to be sober and will enjoy this day much more than I would with a hangover and regret in my heart.7
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6:20 am in Vegas another 24,RubyRed happy birthday to your son💗 I can relate to being drunk already cuz I'd drink while getting ready to go out, gross! When I look back on those days I feel like a crazy person how obsessed with booze I was yet in denial anything was wrong, bleh, Jen enjoy your walk with your daughter, it's something at least, FeelinFooFoo you're doing great! You guys I'm torn on going back to the salon, feels like I've been there too long and I was starting to resent the place before all of this happened anyways, see old customers I get sick of seeing, bitchy co-workers, slummy area, etc AND the owner was supposed to have it professionally cleaned and a fresh paint job, no he wants US to do the cleaning and no paint! I'm not cleaning anything, I'm annoyed, sorry for the rant but the text came last night and I'm in shock and just feel irritated, have a wonderful AF day all 🌺6
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How about when you are at a table with friends at a bar and you keep watching how everyone else is drinking? I have done that... I'd marvel how one person was sipping and then would let the drink sit for awhile. I remember one friend would drink half of her wine and be done and leave with it half filled. I remember thinking "when the waitress comes by and asks if you want another, just say no thanks." Then, the waitress would come by and I'd say "Sure, why not?"
I can go many days without drinking and then a binge happens. It is so awful. One of the best parts of waking up this last month sober was feeling so good and not nauseous. One day at a time though.. I know I am one sip away from a binge.
@whitpauly It's irresponsible for your employer to do no cleaning and painting. He/she should have done all the work to clean and sanitize the whole place and paint it over the quarantine. He is really shooting himself in the foot passing off the cleaning to everyone else. A true leader would be the first to do the hard work he asks of his employees. That makes me so mad. I'm sorry you are put in this position.
@FeelinFooFoo I'm so happy your 35 days have been enjoyable!! I'm hoping our brains are being rewired slowly to not feel that alcohol is a reward.
@JenT304 I enjoyed your post from Belle. I love receiving her daily emails.7 -
Hi guys!!
Newbie here. I have been on the "LESS" thread for a few months and feel like I need to change to AF.
I am 2 months 14 days <minus one> AF. My minus one was a moment of weakness when my basement flooded amid COVID, tending to needy elderly parents, newborn grandson that I could not be with, working from home, out of my routine and I drank... That is over a month behind me. It was a bump in the road and I'm past it. I am not tossing away 6 weeks of success over one bump. That's my strategy
I was a daily drinker for years. I am very proud of my progress and would like to be a part of your team
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Welcome @Beka3695 I "know" you from the less alcohol thread, you are doing great on your goals! RubyRed I agree, I'm not super scared that the shop is contaminated with coronaviris or anything, it's just that the state board for licensing is being VERY strict and I think a deep clean was in order but the owner is cheap! 6:42 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a wonderful day 💗5
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@Beka3695 Welcome!! Congrats on 2 mos. and 14 days - no need to count the little hiccup. I'm happy you are here!
@FeelinFooFoo Yes, it is a good development!
@whitpauly I agree. By now, it's not contaminated but the signs point to a selfish boss
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Little story for you: My "drinking" friend called me and said "I haven't talked to you for so long. How are you?" And we chatted about this and that. And then she says, "hey as you know the bars/patios are opening Friday....."
I shut it down fast. I replied, "yea, I heard but I am not drinking anymore and haven't been for the last 5 weeks..."
"Oh ok. Bye!" she replied.
**She's the one who left me throwing up blood on the bathroom floor a few months ago after we both drank... I got so sick and she tiptoed in and said she and her guy friend are going to the bar now....
**Like my therapist says, Stop making excuses for her!!10 -
Hello all, RubyRed your friend sounds like a b!+€h! I can't believe she left you like that in the past then act like that when you say you aren't drinking! I had sooooo many "friends" when I drank, soon as I cut back they all scrammed so I say eff them, at my worst I threw up blood too, I read people can die like that cuz it's veins in the esophagus or something, anyhoo don't wanna chance that again! Feelin FooFoo, you're doing your best hon, none of us are perfect, we can only try to reach our goals but there's sometimes stumbles along the way, that's why I was posting more in the less alcohol thread but I got a little knocked off kilter by a poster making a comment about people there with months long sobriety, I was like who cares? Supposed to be non judgement either way, none of the regular posters are judgy but that comment bothered so here I am😆 I just figure doing our best is all that matters 🤷🏻♀️ 6:52 am in Vegas another 24,btw the girls painted, cleaned for two days, the "manager" (who didn't help) had the nerve to go up last night then send a text that the shop isn't ready to open cuz nobody cleaned the toilet and there was a paint roller in the sink! Seriously???? Just cuz she's not ready to go back and is sucking off unemployment, makes me sick and resentful! (Sorry for rant!) Have a wonderful AF day all 🤗7
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@RubyRed427 I agree with @whitpauly about your friend... well, she is NOT your friend. But on the same token, I do understand how difficult it is to let someone go. Feel free to mourn the friendship as it was something real that is now gone. IMO - you deserve WAY better!!
@FeelinFooFoo - it happens. Recovery is not a straight line from A-B. My trick when I start the 'drinkin thinkin' is to take a long bubble bath. I am a prisoner to the tub for over an hour. It gives me time to reset my thoughts and relax in a different fashion. I am considering buying stock in Dr. Teal's bubble bath - this is my new favorite. The scents are excellent and it is inexpensive.
Tomorrow morning I will be having brunch with my bestie for her birthday. This typically means mimosas are flowing. Tomorrow I will just have coffee. I am so very ok with this!
I have attempted to be AF several times before - never very successfully. I am not sure what is different this time, but it just feels right. I cannot explain and I am not complaining. I am anxious that the old feelings will come back... Till then - look at me AF 8 -
@FeelinFooFoo I noticed your comment about exercise every day and wanted to say that is a big part of how I've stayed AF for so long. I'm a daily exerciser now. I do cardio and strength every single day without fail. I keep an exercise log to keep myself accountable and I talk to others about what they're doing, which workouts they are enjoying. I like trying out new workouts to keep it fun, so I mix it up quite a bit. Being AF allows my body to perform better and it's become a much better "addiction" than drinking.9
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6:21 am in Vegas another 24 💖@FeelinFooFoo the exercise helps me stay AF too, if I get that "edgy" feeling I can mostly walk/jog it off, back to work for me today can you say ANXIETY! Dunno why I'm so nervous, maybe just been too long or maybe I'm unsure of how all this disinfecting is gonna go, also the owner raised the price and we can only take appointments, we used to be walk in, cheap and quick but I don't know how today will go, was gonna wait for Monday but I can't sit here with hubs another day! Love him but dang it gets boring anyways hope everyone has a wonderful AF day!6
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@whitpauly, I went to the hair salon Thursday, and it was a very positive experience. Everyone had masks on, we washed hands upon entry, distance was kept as much as possible, no blow-drying, constant disinfecting, etc. I hope your day is positive as well. It certainly did wonders for my spirits getting a couple of inches chopped off and those crazy roots covered. I'm sure your customers will appreciate you!!8
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Hi Everyone. Foo, don't worry about 1 day out of 37 or however many. Onward. My fit board finally came in the mail and I am not very coordinated but trying it out while watching tv. It's fun! I am trying to whittle this middle. There is a mirror near me while I am twisting away and I cannot believe my wine belly. This S&!T is real, People. YUCK. I am gonna straight up say vanity is a driving factor in my giving up the booze for the 2,000,000th time. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day. I'll keep on keepin' on.
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2m 16d <-1>
Today was great!! I had brunch with my bestie - she didn’t have mimosas either and said repeatedly how proud she was of me for being AF. She said she was just not there yet, but was getting there.
Tonight DH and I had our “anniversary” dinner. Our anniversary is next week, but I will likely not be home.
My daughter is in the military and had her first son in February. Due to COVID fallout there is no childcare to be found. I will be moving down tomorrow to keep my grandson until she can find childcare. We are anticipating this to take 6-8 weeks. I’m sad that I will miss our anniversary, but a Mimi has gotta do what a Mimi has gotta do!! My car is packed and ready to go.
I plan to use this time to channel @FeelinFooFoo and get into an exercise routine. I have packed the running shoes☺️
I might find a local 5-10k to participate in.
Retraining my brain. That is what I need to do!!!!!8
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