The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

RubyRed427

@mainelylisa Slowly, my desire for alcohol is fading. It's nearly three months AF for me. Lately, the thought of taking a drink turns my stomach. I have had so many negative experiences drinking physically and mentally that it has become undesirable in my mind.
Much like when you have an allergic reaction to a food, you are scared and scarred to eat it. That's how I am feeling today.

You will have much more energy and time to revamp your life. You will have time to try new things and it will probably reinvigorate your photography and writing.

SunnyDays930

@mainelylisa I also suffer from blackouts when drinking. My husband and I would watch a show and I would have to watch the entire episode again, not remembering one bit of it. And that's the tame stuff. Plenty of times I would wake up and he was in the guest room, furious at me for something I said or did, and I not having the slightest idea of what it was. Drinking was becoming a real threat to my relationship with my daughters as well. It just SO not worth it. If you have not done so, I urge you to do the free 30 day The Alcohol Experiment online. It is great.

donimfp

@FeelinFooFoo , Hooray for you!!!! Wow, your sober days are really adding up fast. I'm sure faster for us onlookers than for you! The tattoo is a great idea. I have a bracelet I bought with the date of my 100th day in Roman numerals. It's sort of my little secret symbol, and I see it every day. Today is actually day 150. I hadn't even realized that until just now. Cool!!

@mainelylisa, we are all rooting for you. As far as "normal drinkers," I don't want to throw cold water on anyone else's plans, but during my 6-week Sober School course with Kate Bee, during our last week she mentioned that we had fulfilled our 6-week commitment and were of course free to go back to drinking if we wanted to. However, she did warn us that we should understand we would be going back to where we started--not to some magical Moderation Land. It really hit me that she said in her 7 years of coaching, neither she nor any of the other coaches she knows has ever once encountered anyone who came into the program with a drinking problem and then was able to successfully become a moderate (aka "normal") drinker. As Ruby says, the pickle isn't gonna change back into a cucumber. I know some people will fight and disagree with that notion. But in my observation, those who have struggled with drinking too much on a regular basis and then attempt to moderate (including myself many times), are in for an exhausting ride of counting, planning, obsessing, and ultimately ending right back at yet another Day One, hoping that it "works this time."

I wish that Unicorn Moderate Drinker Who Formerly was a Problem Drinker existed. I'd love to be that unicorn. But I've come to the realization that this is a fantasy that will never be a reality. Certainly not for me. Hang in there. You can do this. And it is nice on this end of the pool!

annliz23

@JenT304 that just sounds like me!
I was a bit scared to log on here as I am ashamed to say I gave in and I think realistically I will start in January but that doesnt mean between now and then I am going to aim to have more AF free days and build up slowly. I have downloaded the 30 day Alcohol experiment so i will be ready to go and i am getting me a diary to log progress.

mainelylisa

@annliz23 There is no place or reason for shame. We are here to better ourselves. And are human. I, too, tend to isolate after I've been "bad," but I think that's when we need to share and garner support and encouragement.

annliz23

mainelylisa wrote: »

@annliz23 There is no place or reason for shame. We are here to better ourselves. And are human. I, too, tend to isolate after I've been "bad," but I think that's when we need to share and garner support and encouragement.

Thanks!

RubyRed427

@annliz23 I figure it's taken years for us to become avid drinkers, so it may take some time to taper off and maybe even quit. So, no worries for giving in. It happens. And it also helps gives us more perspective. After all, we grow from adversity as the saying goes.

mainelylisa

@RubyRed427 Did you read about the brain pickling in the Blackout book or somewhere else? I'm fascinated with the physiology related to drinking (and quitting!) I had heard most cannot go back to moderating, but never heard any physiological association.

On a related note, I will def try the 30 day experiment (listen to a podcast by Annie last night).

RubyRed427

mainelylisa wrote: »

@RubyRed427 Did you read about the brain pickling in the Blackout book or somewhere else? I'm fascinated with the physiology related to drinking (and quitting!) I had heard most cannot go back to moderating, but never heard any physiological association.


The cucumber pickle analogy is an expression probably from AA... once you become an alcoholic you could never go back to being a moderate drinker.

The black out book I was referring to is not worth buying, because it had a lot of examples of the horrible things people have done while black out, Which we really do know can happen.

I stumbled upon a book Title however thats I read a few years ago: Here is a review of the book

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-ca-jc-sarah-hepola-20150621-story.html?_amp=true

I also read a good book called Drinking: a love story.

I love learning about the psychology in the brain chemistry behind drinking. I find a lot of good articles on psychologytoday.com

annliz23

no44s4me

Congrats to everyone for having the courage to put themselves out there, it's been awhile since I've been on the forum and I continue to encouraged by everyone. The AF Beer worked for me for time but after awhile, the extra calories weren't worth it, huh....how many calories in those (6) IPA's sport ? Whatever works for you the way I look at it. How I went from being a casual drinker to an average of 25 drinks a week still escapes me, but as time goes on, it really doesn't matter. Kind of an interesting life cycle...booze first made life better, then booze became life, and now life is 100% better without it.

donimfp

@FeelinFooFoo, I think AA in general tends to discourage AF substitutes. But for me, they've been a lifesaver. Not because I pretend they are alcoholic drinks, but mainly because I don't have a sweet tooth at all, so all those sweet substitute "mocktails" just don't appeal to me. I get sick of nothing but sparkly water, though. So an AF beer (not sweet) or the Curious Elixirs (not sweet) are really great. I also love V-8 juice. None of these trigger me in any way, but I am more than happy to acknowledge that everyone is different. I'd hate for anyone to come down in an absolute yes or no way on the AF substitute question. Those drinks just happen to give me the non-water, non-sweet options I appreciate.

RubyRed427

Regarding NA beers, I have a Heineken 00 once in awhile; it has 67 calories, I think. Since I rarely drank beer, it does not trigger me. But I could see if you were a heavy beer drinker, that might be a slippery slope. To each his own.
Some people don't recommend having food that contained alcohol like beer batter shrimp or cooking with wine even though it cooks off. Like you are all saying, people need to decide for themselves. We have that little voice in our head that knows what we're doing or the motive behind it.

I think the reason I have a Heineken 00 is because I want a treat that is different. I am tired of seltzer, Perrier and water, and I don't like drinking pop. I'll probably getting tired of the NA beer and find something else.

@no44s4me I like your attitude that life is 100 percent better without alcohol.

RubyRed427

@annliz23 I do love the poem. I love the last line especially.

annliz23

AF night but only slept 2 hours so feel worse this morning lol!

SunnyDays930

Well worth 6 minutes of your time.

https://thesoberschool.com/the-power-of-gratitude-and-how-it-affects-your-sobriety/

Beka3695

JenT304 wrote: »

Well worth 6 minutes of your time.

https://thesoberschool.com/the-power-of-gratitude-and-how-it-affects-your-sobriety/

I agree. This is worth watching. I just ordered a journal from Amazon.

annliz23

RubyRed427

@JenT304 thank you for the video- I am getting my journal now to write in it!

@annliz23 Cute poster

RubyRed427

I was telling Jen that I found some journal entries I made on the nomo app in 2018. It was Around my birthday, so you can imagine I was drinking and binging. The entries were eye opening. The description of the hangover, and how I disappointed my daughter because I was to sick to do anything with her, and the driving I did after 7 cocktails. How ashamed I felt.

I guess journaling and writing down both good and bad experiences have lots of value when you reread them. I was feeling like I am losing out by being sober, but these journal entries set me straight. I am blessed to be sober.