The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Today is day 242 since I had a sip of alcohol.
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I hit the 6 months sober last week. I have to admit being sober during the Winter isn't all that difficult for me, but we had some nice warm sunny days last week and that's when I usually sit outside with my husband or go over to the neighbors and have 1 or 4 glasses of wine. This time I just had some La Croix but I put it in a wine glass to make myself feel better about it. I still felt a little sad about not being able to join in on the wine, but I know that I can't give up this sobriety.
tmpecus78, great job hitting the 242 day mark. I'm counting down to my 200 days which will happen 4/14.14 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@lorrainequiche59 Yes, we are both moving; I’m excited to set up a new place; buy fresh furniture than old banged up things. The only problem is the day I pull out of my driveway, I know I am going to cry all the way to the new place. I sometimes feel like I’m abandoning my dreams and my family; but I also know that this is the healthiest thing for me long term.
I think let’s just continue looking forward and staying present. That’s all we have anyway.. the here and now. And I plan on having a wonderful sober summer with all of you.
Wishing you a wonderful move! Everything in life changes. Nothing is constant. I think’s better to not resist and accept what is...
Sorry for the “journal entry”. I think I’m doing some self-talk in this post. Hugs!
🤗 Hugs xoxo3 -
Day 4 and feeling a bit resentful that I can’t use alcohol to make me temporarily forget that my life is nothing but work and sleep these days. Luckily last weekend’s insane insomnia has scared me enough to resist.
@Ed_Zilla your post was interesting because I’ve come home from work SO sleepy these last 2 sober days. I was asleep by 9 last night after fighting sleep from about 6 on. Same thing tonight. That really surprised me because I would have expected the lack of booze to give me more, not less, energy.
I’m ready for this to get easier.
It will get easier when you feel how much better you feel without alcohol!6 -
@salleewins and @Fitness327wk, thank you for the encouragement. I promise I will soon be an encourager rather than a drain. I came home and so wanted to ask my husband to fix me a screwdriver. I really like vodka! Before doing so, though, I came here and y'all talked me down. I've gone 50 days before, so I know it gets easier, but I've never gone this long (day 5) with this job that just seems to be cleaning my clock.
Already I'm so thankful each morning that I didn't drink the night before. My sleep is already much, much, much better. Even so, I'm so tempted each evening after work. I'm gonna stay on here and be strong, though. I know I/we can all do it. I'm reading (re-reading) The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley. Even though I am past her stage of having young children, I can relate to almost everything she says about the struggle to quit drinking. I guess snuggling into bed with that book and hot tea is being better to myself than downing a screwdriver. Man, I like vodka, though.
I have a dream . . . maybe a crazy dream . . . of writing some kind of treatment based on my year in juvie--sort of Orange is the New Black meets Welcome Back Kotter. There is so much hilarious humor and so much devastating sadness almost every day in that place. I want to be sober so I can really try to explore the possibilities during what I'm calling my "gap year." If I'm drinking, no dreams are gonna come true. I can feel that.
Night everyone and thank you.
@salleewins, God bless you as you continue your journey remembering your son.10 -
@salleewins Sending the warmest hugs!!
@donimfp That was profound “if I’m drinking , no dreams are gonna come true.”6 -
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Quoting part of RubyRed....For me, it is DAYS. After the hangover, I then feel so anxious and depressed...
Let’s stay on track; it is easier to resist the urge than to suffer the after effects.
THIS IS SO TRUE for me too and I have to remind myself when I have the urge it is SO not worth it!!! My daughter is texting with me right now and if I were drinking God know's what I'd be writing back. I want this damn monkey off my back forever. I am so grateful for this group and all of you!8 -
Seems interesting to me that a few of us are struggling lately with the longing for our drink of choice. For me it is connected to my move I think. I haven't had any serious urges, BUT these thoughts keep "popping" into my head and I keep thinking about someone's comment about the "alcoholic brain" and I truly think that is my issue. And I think it is connected to some added stress of making sure all my Ts are crossed, and I have a lot to do right now prepping for the end of the month.
A couple of friends are helping me to paint this weekend (it was my one friends idea to have a "painting party") and one of my first thoughts was of wine in the mix...it was a picture of us having a glass (es) together...r-r-r-r-r-r!! THERE is MY alcoholic brain trying to join the party.
Anyway, these girls are not drinkers...they can control it & have one, BUT I CANNOT, at least not forever; so there will be no wine at my painting party LOL I am taking the last remnants of empty beer bottles back to the beer store today and getting more for my movers and if the girls want one of those that's fine, but I am having my mocktails of choice on hand AND even though beer is not a temptation for me, it will be staying in the 'new' fridge just cause. When my movers leave they can split what's left & take it all home...
Oh BTW, just for some added incentive I checked my QuitDrinking app to see where I am and I have successfully been AF for 307 days & 5 hours....58 days to go until I hit my year mark!! I am SO excited!15 -
@lorrainequiche59, you rock!!!! Have a wonderful painting party. You know, I was around for your day 1 of 307, and look at me here on day 6! Look at all that time I wasted drinking. No “one glass” is worth it. I’m so proud of you!!11
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Seems interesting to me that a few of us are struggling lately with the longing for our drink of choice. For me it is connected to my move I think. I haven't had any serious urges, BUT these thoughts keep "popping" into my head and I keep thinking about someone's comment about the "alcoholic brain" and I truly think that is my issue. And I think it is connected to some added stress of making sure all my Ts are crossed, and I have a lot to do right now prepping for the end of the month.
A couple of friends are helping me to paint this weekend (it was my one friends idea to have a "painting party") and one of my first thoughts was of wine in the mix...it was a picture of us having a glass (es) together...r-r-r-r-r-r!! THERE is MY alcoholic brain trying to join the party.
Anyway, these girls are not drinkers...they can control it & have one, BUT I CANNOT, at least not forever; so there will be no wine at my painting party LOL I am taking the last remnants of empty beer bottles back to the beer store today and getting more for my movers and if the girls want one of those that's fine, but I am having my mocktails of choice on hand AND even though beer is not a temptation for me, it will be staying in the 'new' fridge just cause. When my movers leave they can split what's left & take it all home...
Oh BTW, just for some added incentive I checked my QuitDrinking app to see where I am and I have successfully been AF for 307 days & 5 hours....58 days to go until I hit my year mark!! I am SO excited!
awesome days and on the plan you have put together!!
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Thank you everyone!! I survived April 3rd for another year! Wow it was so hard this year! I think part of it was the added stress of uncertainty of when I was going back to work and so MANY yucky projects that were stressful lately as of the last week and a half. I have to do it differently next time. My back is still an issue after that injury at work in January.I learned yesterday I am back probably Friday. Also, just because an important appointment is made for you, it doesn't have to be kept for one thing and I need to change it from now on. April 2nd was the wrong day for me for it.I knew it would be tough, but I wanted this appointment to be done. Wrong idea. I can think of a few other things that could have been done differently. I have known that I need a new job. So many big projects now off my back, though. Ha ha. I still have 2 toilets to fix however and I don't know what I am doing. I have a plan on how to proceed.Maybe next Tuesday I can work on one. I don't want to have to stomp in front of one and adjust the paint can on top of it until it shuts off when my sister visits. These started plaguing me after I saw my water bill recently.
Yes I wish this monkey was off my back, too,@ JenT304, but I don't think it ever will be for me. I hear him laughing at how hard he wants it to be for me, so he wins and I drink... He comes back with a vengeance at times.I can't even explain the things that have happened the last few days that were negatives and encouraging me to drink. IT IS A BIG LIST. Even some of the things that people have said. I missed a bus once I got back into town after being at my brother's, for instance, and I went to a coffee shop with NO restroom while I waited for the next bus. I was told to go 2 doors down for a restroom. I go 2 doors down, had to go through security and one of the guys says they should put liquor in that coffee down there as that would help. I really had to NOT listen carefully. The only thing I said was something like, "well that isn't going to happen over there" and then he laughed. Never fails, when you are exhausted etc., you might get a huge KICK in your direction. Watch out for being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Thirsty, Fearful or Tired...... I have to keep watch that my stress doesn't get too high as well. I wasn't eating right as I figured who cares at least I am not drinking. My brother's visit I knew would be stressful and I did my best to help.I can't go overboard with the junk food either, though. That didn't help ......etc. etc. I really learned a lot with this one. I have to do whatever it takes to not drink. Maybe it will help someone here.8 -
shortchange1 wrote: »I hit the 6 months sober last week. I have to admit being sober during the Winter isn't all that difficult for me, but we had some nice warm sunny days last week and that's when I usually sit outside with my husband or go over to the neighbors and have 1 or 4 glasses of wine. This time I just had some La Croix but I put it in a wine glass to make myself feel better about it. I still felt a little sad about not being able to join in on the wine, but I know that I can't give up this sobriety.
tmpecus78, great job hitting the 242 day mark. I'm counting down to my 200 days which will happen 4/14.
You’re exactly one week ahead of me👍
I hit 200 on 4/21 (hopefully)
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@lorrainequiche59, you rock!!!! Have a wonderful painting party. You know, I was around for your day 1 of 307, and look at me here on day 6! Look at all that time I wasted drinking. No “one glass” is worth it. I’m so proud of you!!
I am proud that you keep trying!!6 -
Hugs and Love @RubyRed427 on the move.4
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shortchange1 wrote: »I hit the 6 months sober last week. I have to admit being sober during the Winter isn't all that difficult for me, but we had some nice warm sunny days last week and that's when I usually sit outside with my husband or go over to the neighbors and have 1 or 4 glasses of wine. This time I just had some La Croix but I put it in a wine glass to make myself feel better about it. I still felt a little sad about not being able to join in on the wine, but I know that I can't give up this sobriety.
tmpecus78, great job hitting the 242 day mark. I'm counting down to my 200 days which will happen 4/14.
Great Job and Congratulations!3 -
My heart has been going out to all of you as I've read your words, experiences, pains and triumphs! You are all to be commended as you continue on with this fight.
I wanted to share a "moment" I had. On Saturday, my heart was breaking. I felt all kinds of emotions that I didn't want to feel. I imagine you all know what I'm talking about because that's why many of us are here. My heart was pounding and I felt like I couldn't breath. I decided to get in my car and drive around. Well, I knew exactly why I was doing that...but I was denying it. I ended up in the parking lot of my local liquor store. I had all kinds of addicted brain talk going on. I was thinking at least I can buy a bottle of Skyy and have it in my house and I can make my decision later. There was a war raging in my brain as I sat in my car trying to decide what to do. Eventually, tears started running down my face and I hung my head down on my steering wheel as sobs starting coming out. Well, at some point, I managed to honk my horn with my chin. It made me jump and when I looked up, I saw a startled lady who thought I was honking at her. I was so embarrassed that I started my car up and left. And just like that...the moment was gone.
Today, I have been sober for 11 weeks and one day. I am feeling extremely grateful that I didn't let anyone or anything take that away from me, including myself. It was a brief moment, but it happened. In the last several days, I have been able to focus on an action plan. I've realized I can't do this by myself and I need a support system in place. I am pleased to say I'm working on that with a clear head and not an alcohol saturated one. I feel stronger for having won that battle.
I am doing well and I survived the moment. I sure hope the lady in the parking lot did too!
Many thanks to all of you for sharing. Your words inspire those who sometimes need to read in silence. 13 -
@shortchange1
Have you considered the FRE wines? I know some people don't want ANY alcohol -- no kombucha or anything -- but I am comfortable with alcohol removed products that have trace amounts and the FRE brut champagne is really quite tasty!I still felt a little sad about not being able to join in on the wine2 -
I have a hard time keeping up with the posts if I don't check in often...but I see the drinking demon's are never far away nor are they ever at rest. They attack me at the strangest times, always when I least expect it. It is really random what the triggers are.
I am also not one for quotes...But J.J. Watts (a phenomenal NFL defensive end) had a quote that I find applies to staying AF every day. I think of this quote often:
"Success isn't owned, it's leased. And rent is due every day."
When the demons hit, my immediate response is "Time to pay up!." I do this by long workouts, staying in the Word, working on the farm, talking through it with my wife, etc. No matter what...find a way to Pay up!
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Day 1 - I cannot handle how alcohol depresses me when I am already not in a good way. I always "think" I will feel better, but I don't so I cried again last night after a few (not to mention it hinders weight loss) and today I just don't feel so good at work.
How do you cope if you have a spouse that drinks daily?
thanks for words of wisdom.
PS I have never posted about anything like this before14 -
@dbhdeb first of all, welcome to our group. We all support each other through thick and thin. NOTHING is too bad/embarrassing/ whatever, to share here. Lots of us have spouses or partners that still drink and it is hard but you need to realize you are quitting/cutting back for YOU. You cannot control other people's behavior, only your own. There is a very good youtube by Annie Grace on this topic. I'll post it.
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How do you cope if you have a spouse that drinks daily?
Today is day 10 for me. Not gonna lie -last night I wanted to string him up. I said probably 5 times "JUST LET ME GO TO BED" and drunk hubby kept talking. UGH. I keep telling myself that THIS IS FOR ME! Luckily, I don't like his drink of choice. That helps A LOT!!!
FRE wines - I tried the red blend. It was ok. I also bought the Brut and ARIEL Cabernet - also alcohol removed. Ariel has a cork LOL! I will let you know once I try it.
I just had lunch with a girlfriend. She had 2 mixed drinks and I had water. It did not feel strange. The only strange time was when she offered me a taste. I just said "I'm good" and we went on.
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Welcome @dbhDeb ! My husband was a daily drinker. He's trying to get healthier too/support me, but no interest in actually quitting.. He tries to just drink on the weekend, but it creeps back in on some week days. But Jen is right. Nothing you can do about someone else's behavior just your own. Hang in there! Once you get past the first 2 weeks, give or take, it'll get easier to deal with the thoughts about it, because the strong urges start to dissipate.. Try to keep yourself busy.. I feel it's definitely easier for me now at Day 21 than it was during the couple weeks prior, even though I still think about it5
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Also, other than my pregnancy when I obviously could not drink, this 21 days is the longest I think I've gone since age 21.. which was well over a decade ago.. so I'm feeling pleased. Hope everyone has a great day!6
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Yellowstone1983 wrote: »Also, other than my pregnancy when I obviously could not drink, this 21 days is the longest I think I've gone since age 21.. which was well over a decade ago.. so I'm feeling pleased. Hope everyone has a great day!
I went 17 days a year or so ago. Other than pregnancy, I think that was the longest for me.
YAY US and WE'RE NOT PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!!6 -
How do you cope if you have a spouse that drinks daily?
Today is day 10 for me. Not gonna lie -last night I wanted to string him up. I said probably 5 times "JUST LET ME GO TO BED" and drunk hubby kept talking. UGH. I keep telling myself that THIS IS FOR ME! Luckily, I don't like his drink of choice. That helps A LOT!!!
FRE wines - I tried the red blend. It was ok. I also bought the Brut and ARIEL Cabernet - also alcohol removed. Ariel has a cork LOL! I will let you know once I try it.
I just had lunch with a girlfriend. She had 2 mixed drinks and I had water. It did not feel strange. The only strange time was when she offered me a taste. I just said "I'm good" and we went on.
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Check out this article on how Millennials are changing their drinking habits:
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/04/millennials-sober-sick-of-drinking/586186/6 -
Quoting part of RubyRed....For me, it is DAYS. After the hangover, I then feel so anxious and depressed...
Let’s stay on track; it is easier to resist the urge than to suffer the after effects.
THIS IS SO TRUE for me too and I have to remind myself when I have the urge it is SO not worth it!!! My daughter is texting with me right now and if I were drinking God know's what I'd be writing back. I want this damn monkey off my back forever. I am so grateful for this group and all of you!
Agree! So thankful for this group!3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoL4-1u4MRo
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