The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Because there this is ostensibly a weight loss site, I was thinking that drinking and weight gain is a great analogy for being out of alignment in so many ways. This morning I stepped on the scale and was down another eight-tenths of a pound. I haven't weighed this little in more than ten years. I feel fantastic. But there is no way that I lost all this weight simply because of the wine I didn't drink -- the wine was the key piece. It gave me the munchies, encouraged me to snack at night, and basically messed up my judgment when it came to eating.
And everything else.
Yesterday, I had one of the most successful days I've had professionally in memory. It didn't happen strictly because I stopped drinking wine -- and yet it did. Being AF put me in alignment and made be ready and able to pursue my dreams in a way I simply was not while drinking. It's not that I wasn't working or was incompetent, but I was giving up at least 30% of my potential every day by either checking out at 5:00, being slightly hungover the next day, or both. Drinking was like a splinter on an arrow: it was a relatively small thing, but as long as it was there I was never going to fly as far or as straight.
There are lots of negative reasons not to drink -- things I definitely want to leave behind. But once the bad memories start to fade, it's good for me to reflect on all the amazingly positive things that are possible AF.13 -
Hey crew! Man, awesome to see new faces, and read the stories. Yall are going to be sick of "Kevin liked 37 of your posts"...
For everyone whose husband doesn't seem interested in quitting, get him to research the effects of alcohol on testosterone production. Welcome to man-boobs and erectile dysfunction!
Sorry to be out so long. We do a lot of ministry work in the Bahamas, and are prepping to go over next Saturday. Bought a house on Grand Bahama, and are hauling appliances, and meeting with a few pastors to discuss summer plans.
I was worship leader in a contemporary church for 5 years, and have very few people that know that I drank... got invited today to go watch some friends play at a local pub. Told my friend, "That would lead to beer... I'm 27 days AF today, not chancing it!"
As I go more public with all this, it's kind of fun to see the look on peoples faces. I had a core group that knew me, and what I struggled with, but the majority of people didnt have a clue.
Major up side, my skin is looking freaking fabulous... well, pretty fabulous, for an old dude anyways.
Love to my brothers and sisters! Fight the good fight! Sorry I wasnt here for the past week!
Day 27 ~ Four weeks tomorrow! Totally stoked!!!8 -
kevinrfletcher wrote: »Hey crew! Man, awesome to see new faces, and read the stories. Yall are going to be sick of "Kevin liked 37 of your posts"...
For everyone whose husband doesn't seem interested in quitting, get him to research the effects of alcohol on testosterone production. Welcome to man-boobs and erectile dysfunction!
Sorry to be out so long. We do a lot of ministry work in the Bahamas, and are prepping to go over next Saturday. Bought a house on Grand Bahama, and are hauling appliances, and meeting with a few pastors to discuss summer plans.
I was worship leader in a contemporary church for 5 years, and have very few people that know that I drank... got invited today to go watch some friends play at a local pub. Told my friend, "That would lead to beer... I'm 27 days AF today, not chancing it!"
As I go more public with all this, it's kind of fun to see the look on peoples faces. I had a core group that knew me, and what I struggled with, but the majority of people didnt have a clue.
Major up side, my skin is looking freaking fabulous... well, pretty fabulous, for an old dude anyways.
Love to my brothers and sisters! Fight the good fight! Sorry I wasnt here for the past week!
Day 27 ~ Four weeks tomorrow! Totally stoked!!!
Cool News! Awesome choices! Congrats. We are stoked with you!6 -
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I haven't picked up my year chip yet. Maybe this week. I really wanted to do this when my sponsor was there and at the meeting I felt I started with and connected the most at especially in the beginning. I wonder if it is allowed since it was Jan. 23rd and is now April, lol. I will find out before I try it. I have been working for months during that mtg time and am now free again.
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That is if I make it until Wednesday, lol. With the frickin' noise in this neighborhood, there is hardly any peace and quiet. I have a Saturday off and now I know what I have not been missing. 5 hours of tree cutting and blowers for yard clean-up so far. This is not unusual and really I will be happy to move to an apartment some day I think. Since my son passed the noise gets on my nerves all the more. I have run out of here to do errands of which I wasn't going to do today. I wished it would rain, quickly and a downpour.7
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Just checking in for accountability's sake. It's day 23. There's still a struggle in my head as to whether or not I want this to be a forever thing, but I'm maintaining AF status despite that battle. Hope everyone's having a nice weekend! I'm now trying to muster up the energy to bake a trial cake for little man's first bday so it doesn't turn into a pinterest fail on Easter..6
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@whitpauly Boo on the missing post...I HATE that too...especially when you pour your
& soul into it...and voila, into the cyber graveyard it goes... 
r-r-r-r-r-r-r!!
@Beka3695 Wonderful progress...I`ve found my quit drinking app very motivating...especially the health tracker component. You are doing great...good things ahead!
@dbhDeb You can do this! Just keep getting support here because it isn't easy to stop alcohol especially when you have a partner who drinks and likes to drink with YOU...but like you said until you spell it out for him, he's just doing what he's likely always done & will continue to until he knows you want it different...@JenT304 & @walterm852 make valid points....hoping the best for you!
@skmeow1122 Welcome & congrats on your hard-won sobriety...seeing the benefits in sleep, mood, weight loss etc is a great motivator to keep working toward health.
@donimfp that sentence, "I can have just one..." reminds me of Craig Ferguson's video that @Rubyred427 posted where he said, "I don't have a `drinking` problem, I have a THINKING problem" !! Our brain gets hijacked when we use alcohol to relieve stress, numb loneliness, stuff feelings, quell anxiety etc etc etc. But you recognize that, for you (and me) one leads to more, leads to ________!!! and we can all fill in the blank with the undesirable consequences...not worth the temporary escape from an unpleasant reality that is also temporary if we ride it out instead of postponing it by drinking and then add a bunch of drinking consequences on top of it.
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I am pleased to say painting day is DONE...!! Woohoo...the 3 of us were 8 hours hard at it and finished around 10 pm last eve...I should say my two friends were hard at it cause I'm not the fastest painter or the best cutter-in gal, I need it all taped...but they are master painters & appreciated my contribution. I had gotten everything prepped ahead of their arrival so we could get right to the painting & also cooked them a delish dinner, so I did my part LOL Anyway, it looks fantastic & I am so thankful for their help cause it would have taken me days on my own.
Hoping a happy, relaxing rest of the weekend for everyone 9 -
@kevinrfletcher I LOVE your sense of humor!! Just sayin' !!
Congrats on 27 days/4 weeks/one month WOO HOO!!!
Too funny as I was writing my posts this morn, there were numerous posts on the next page I didn't realize were there so these are delayed comments...BUT I am officially caught up on my reading as of now!
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Anyone else get anxious and paranoid the day after they drink?11
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I am pleased to say painting day is DONE...!! Woohoo...the 3 of us were 8 hours hard at it and finished around 10 pm last eve...I should say my two friends were hard at it cause I'm not the fastest painter or the best cutter-in gal, I need it all taped...but they are master painters & appreciated my contribution. I had gotten everything prepped ahead of their arrival so we could get right to the painting & also cooked them a delish dinner, so I did my part LOL Anyway, it looks fantastic & I am so thankful for their help cause it would have taken me days on my own.
Hoping a happy, relaxing rest of the weekend for everyone
I would paint the world, if I didnt have to do the cut-in...
My wife took a trip with her sister out to Arizona to visit with their brother, so I do what every husband does, and remodeled the bedroom for her. Built a freaking awesome bed frame, painted all the furniture to get that coastal cottage/farmhouse look going, and went with all new paint scheme. My daughter and son-in-law helped me paint... we cursed the cutting in the whole time. Worst part was taking the trim from chocolate brown to white. OH MY LAWD!!! Here's something everyone needs to know: "Covers in one coat" is a LIE from the depths of Hades...
Day 28 ~ 4 weeks down, whole life ahead of me. I've got a friend from the gym that messages me every evening. He's keeping track of the days with me, encouraging me... get yourself one of those if you don't have one! Knowing that text is coming has helped on a few days when the urge gets bad. I've actually had dreams, multiple times, that I drank, and I wake up all pissed off at myself... then the realization that it was just a dream, and i didn't blow it sets in. What an awesome feeling of relief.
For those that were "killing themselves" with their drinking... yeah, I hate to think of the damage I've done to my liver. Hoping it's able to heal up in there somehow.
I'd be quoting a bunch of y'all right now, but I'm posting from my phone, and it's difficult to do, to go back and grab names and quotes... hang tough people! Don't give in to the urge! Turn it to positive effort. Start an exercise regimen if you don't have one... take time to marvel at the universe and how awesomely made it is... call an old friend that dates back to before your drinking (which is real hard to do for me. I started early) and re-establish the relationship... make an accountability partner, someone you can be completely honest with and that will tell you hard truth... be kindness to someone who has no hope... Whatever you do, dont isolate yourself and struggle alone. All this from some dude who has only been sober for a month, so take it for what it's worth.
Thanks for all the encouragement your posts provide!
Annnnnd, I almost hit "done" instead of "post reply"... man, that would have been aggravating.11 -
@SweatsOnSunday, (love your name), YES, YES, 1000 times YES! Anxiety and paranoia, especially massive anxiety, are my major side effects of alcohol. I've been SO anxious this year as I teach in a very stressful environment, where everyone (the guards) is always screaming, fights are breaking out, etc., etc., and I've medicated myself with this stuff that makes me anxious as hell. Yep, I'm a smart one! Even during this last school week, my first school week completely sober, all that stuff was just rolling off my back. I'm sure some of it is I'm just used to it, but most of it is that the anxiety has been quietened. 3 a.m anxiety attacks are a thing of the past, I hope. That is my main motivation never to go back.
@kevinrfletcher, you arrived during my long hiatus from this group. I'm so glad you're here. You're awesome. You're obviously a keeper like my husband. During this school year, he has fixed my breakfast smoothie, my packed lunch, and my dinner every single day, sometimes slipping a card inside my lunch for encouragement. When I stopped drinking March 30, I didn't even tell him I was doing it, but of course it was obvious. He's a big, daily bourbon drinker. It wasn't until about Tuesday that I noticed his "bourbon" looked funny. Turns out he was drinking Bai instead. He hasn't had a drop since I quit, and he didn't even tell me. I said, "Hey, you don't have to quit just because I am." He said, "I know. But it won't hurt me to quit either, and I want to do it with you."
There are massive thunderstorms in our area. They raged all night, which made for great sleeping. I went to sleep at 11 and just woke up at 9:40. That's such a crazy AF blessing. Day 9. Not stopping. Have a great week, everyone. 8 more weeks of juvie for me. I'm looking forward to my kids saying, "Your face looks different!" because it does, and they notice everything.10 -
Yes the kids do notice everything. There is no such thing as a closet drinker around them. We may be able to fool the public, but not them.
On the bus to the bro's last week, there were signs in the front. One sign said no intoxicants allowed. The word toxic really stood out. That is interesting isn't it, how that word is formed!
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SweatsOnSunday wrote: »@Beka3695 Love that screenshot! What app is that?
This app is “I am sober”. I only like the graphics. I am liking Sober Grid much better than before. It is like Facebook for Alcoholics. At first, I was only interacting with folks in AA that felt like if you were not in AA you were doing it wrong. I have since met folks that are more welcoming. It helps a lot.4 -
Yesterday I had dinner with my BF. Normally I would have driven home after a bottle of wine or 2. Last night SOBER I rounded a curve and a HUGE COW was in the road. If I had been drinking I would have T boned the cow - pun intended.
I am
So grateful to be home - not in jail or the hospital and my car is in one piece!!11 -
Hate it when I have a drinking dream. Sad on top of it. Thank the "LAWD" Kevin, they are dreams.
Here is something to ponder. Just substitute alcohol in this real scenario instead of cigarettes, the best that you can imagine...... I work in the health care field. A few months ago in the winter I had the privilege of having a client for a few short weeks at the end of his life. He became "out of it". One day he was dreaming and thought that he had dropped a cigarette in his bed and it was burning him. Come to find out, he just needed to be repositioned as he was getting sore. It was an awful reality to witness him rooting around for it on his bed and yelling in his last days. I don't want alcohol to be such a habit that it rules me and embarrasses me to the world in the end for me, possibly. Can you imagine rooting around for the bottle if you are out of it? He also woke up one day and had to have a drink. His son gave him one. I would rather wake up and give some wisdom to those left and leave a better memory of me. We just don't know where these habits that rule us will take us. I think that is one reason to consider if you need to be AF or not? Do you rule the alcohol or does it rule you?7 -
@salleewins, so true about the kids! However, my own kids are long gone and raising their own. I meant my beloved juvie students. They tell me immediately if I didn’t quite nail the hair-straightening on a given day or ask me if I want them to hand me a tissue (ha!). So I fully expect them to say, “Hey, your face isn’t puffy any more!” They notice every little thing. Sadly, for many of them this has been necessary for survival (Does that slight facial movement mean Dad’s about to blow up?).7
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@donimfp That is freaking AWESOME that your husband jumped on it with you! Way to go, Mr donimfp! Support like that is priceless!6
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This past weekend I was at a quilt retreat where many drink wine throughout the weekend. I brought some because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I don’t know if this is forever or not. I don’t know if it should be or not. That bottle of wine sat on my desk for the entire weekend unopened.
I thought about opening it last night, opened this feed, and I decided not to open it. Because I didn’t open that bottle, I remember the entire weekend. I did not make mistakes, I didn’t drink 1500 calories, and I didn’t have to try to remember what I discussed at midnight with friends!
Today is eight weeks of AF, and it marks 56 days!
Thank you all for the encouraging words and reminders!19 -
audreypawdrey wrote: »This past weekend I was at a quilt retreat where many drink wine throughout the weekend. I brought some because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I don’t know if this is forever or not. I don’t know if it should be or not. That bottle of wine sat on my desk for the entire weekend unopened.
I thought about opening it last night, opened this feed, and I decided not to open it. Because I didn’t open that bottle, I remember the entire weekend. I did not make mistakes, I didn’t drink 1500 calories, and I didn’t have to try to remember what I discussed at midnight with friends!
Today is eight weeks of AF, and it marks 56 days!
Thank you all for the encouraging words and reminders!
That's awesome. You did a great job and made the right choice.8 -
SweatsOnSunday wrote: »Anyone else get anxious and paranoid the day after they drink?
YUP!! I definitely remember those feelings!
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@kevinrfletcher YES, your liver does regenerate after appr. one year liver health is greatly increased if not back to "normal"...depends on the severity of drinking prior to quitting...so far mine is 85.1% regenerated ... after 2 years the risk of developing coronary heart disease is back to "normal" After 5 years the risk of stroke is greatly reduced and the healthier habits we develop the lower the risk...after 10 years sober risk of certain cancers associated with alcohol are down to a level only slightly above a non drinker and will continue to improve with abstinence from alcohol. These stats are on my QuitDrinking app...
AND apparently my mental health was 100 % sometime time ago, (after 3 months sober) but it depends who you ask LOL OH WELL, I have other redeeming qualities.9 -
@FeelinFooFoo Hi There: I remember you from the other thread...Welcome!5
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@lorrainequiche59 If my mental health was ever at 100%, it would be a total surprise to me... not sure that is even possible.8
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@lorrainequiche59 Those are interesting statisics! It is reassuring that our bodies can rebuild after what we do to them!4
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@lorrainequiche59 I'm so glad you posted those stats. I'd been trying to find some info like that. Just factual milestones for living AF - sort of like mini goals as we go along. I'm hoping all of our livers are improving, it affects so many things.8
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Good morning friends! It was a good weekend; I bought a couch at the store but saw online it was cheaper! (Same store and website) ...Live and learn..
Went to the park for jog/walk both days due to beautiful weather. And even put the top down on the convertible. Debated on having dinner with a friend this week but she drinks a lot! So, I’ll pass on that dinner date.
I love reading your posts. Very inspiring!8 -
@RubyRed427 Glad you had a good weekend. You deserve it.
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