JUST FOR TODAY -- One Day at a Time .... Daily commitment thread for 2019

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  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,093 Member
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    Life is sh!tting on me atm.
    I thought yesterday was bad.
    Today i got up late, Saskia woke me at 10 to 8! I had to get them breakfast, get ready for school and get them there. I ended up using Ashs car, putting me at risk of yet another mood of his because hes asked me not to use his car - literally just got the phone call now of him having a go :( - so get to school, its an inset day so theyre not in, so if was for nothing, walked back to the car, Marley asked if she could press the button for the crossing so i said yes, she ran about 3 strides ahead and then kept running, right into the busy main road (she was going for the button on the OTHER side of the road) so ive shreiked like a banshee and dragged ger vack, cars are breaking, she got the biggest telling off of her life, im nearly in tears.
    Get home, they stayed quiet for most the morning which was good.
    So i thought it was time to tackle the absolute mountain of clothes that had been accumulating over the ladt week, i got them all folded and put away, it took about 40ish mins, ive come downstairs, theres letters open on the floor so i think (great shes opened the post) then i realised its all Caseys birthday cards and her presents, so i look at her to tell her off, her face is covered in Sudocrem, (oh no I thought), i glance around the room, its smeared all over the sofa (oh no) all over daddys chair (oh nooo) all over the DOG (*despairs*)
    So i start by picking up the cards, one was near the dog, immediately he starts growling and baring his teeth at me (wtf have i done?!) So i told him to get out in the yard. Hs was so nervous and wary around me when hd came back in poor thing, so hes traumatised.
    So nog only does everything need scrubbing anc the dog bathing he also needs tlc!

    Ive just put marley in bed, she'll be staying there for the remainder of the day now.
  • Elbee1
    Elbee1 Posts: 2,040 Member
    edited February 2019
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    Sunday- done good!
    Weighed: 159.8 lbs
    Stayed in green
    Red cup challenge of 4 cups- yay!

    Monday-
    Weigh
    Stay in green
    Red cup

    Going back to just basics.
  • HEGoddard0928
    HEGoddard0928 Posts: 824 Member
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    nlmackey98 wrote: »
    I talked to my friend and told her she or her daughter can call me anytime. My friend knows that I suffer from bipolar depression, but doesn’t really get it. Now her daughter has been diagnosed and she is hoping I can help them through this. This is very hard for me because it is something I hide and feel embarrassed by. But I will do anything for this girl I love.

    Because I am opening up this part of me to others, I decided I needed to talk to my children about it. They are old enough to know but I’ve been putting it off. This is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I fear they will look at me differently. More than anything I fear I’ve passed it on to them.

    I too suffer from Bipolar disorder. I have actually talked openly about it here on this thread in the past. I hate how much of a stigma it has in our society. It was passed down to me from my grandmother. And like you're friends daughter, I too tried to take my own life when I was 18. I was in a really rough place then. But I was lucky. I had a group of really good friends. I was on and off medication and in and out of therapy until I was 23. I met my husband and my brother gave me the best piece of advice I had ever received. Pretty much, if I didn't take care of my mental health Matt was going to leave me eventually. That this was my chance to change my life and get on the right track. And it worked. With the exception of a brief planned few months, I was off the medication, I have been stable for the past 6 years. I am always willing to talk about my struggles and my successes. If you ever need to talk you can do it here and if not, please don't hesitate to DM me.
  • HEGoddard0928
    HEGoddard0928 Posts: 824 Member
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    @Bex953172 Oh Bex! I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through at the moment! I'm not a mommy YET. I guess, just keep your head and try to smile :smiley: We're all cheering you on! I hope you are feeling all the hugs from us!!
  • HEGoddard0928
    HEGoddard0928 Posts: 824 Member
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    So this morning is my first morning of unemployment. It feels a bit odd but also majorly freeing! I have a few things I want to get done today. I'm meeting with my Godmom to talk about her plans for a community acupuncture center that she wants to start. She wants me to run her front office! It would be amazing if it actually happens. It's been a while since I have seen her so it will be a good morning.

    So this morning starts a new journey for me. A new weight loss journey. Now that I have my time to myself I can actually focus on me and my wellbeing. It's going to be really nice. I am going to start eating right again and really start to cook. I think Matt and I deserve that. Matt's lost about 10 pounds since he started working again but he needs to lose another 40 pounds and so do I. So this will be a journey for both of us. So there won't be pizza/Chinese food/hoagies for a while. Not until we can get portion control under our belts. I have seen a whole bunch of tips and tricks to help with that so I think it's time to start implementing some of those things!

    I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 176.0. I kind of expected that though. I ate half of a large plain pizza and had virtually no water yesterday. So today will be a water day for sure!

    Okay! I think that that is all for right now. I will definitely be back on today! I love that I have so much more time for myself!

    JFT, 2-25-19

    1. Log all food
    2. Drink at least 4 bottles of water
    3. Go over M's
    4. Clean bathroom(yes that means the shower!)
    5. Try out new drain stopper in the kitchen sink/DO DISHES
    6. The gym at some point!
    7. Figure out dinner!
    8. Spend time with Matt
    9. Bed at a reasonable time!
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,792 Member
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    JFT - Sunday February 24 Determined
    2L of water - 1.75
    Calories in Green - 🙂
    Walk 1 Mile - 🙂
    5 Fruits and Veggies - 3/5
    Only 1 evening Snack - 😒
    5 something at bathroom break - 🙂
    Write in Journal - 🙂
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices. -☺️

    JFT - Monday February 25 Determined
    2L of water
    Calories in Green
    Walk 1 Mile
    5 Fruits and Veggies
    Only 1 evening Snack
    5 something at bathroom break
    Write in Journal
    Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices.

    Kaitlyn and I finished all the invitations but 4. I have to print off one more accommodation sheet, the one I printed was in the wrong shade of ivory paper.

    I got home around 530, I stopped and grabbed a bag salad and steaks to make for supper rather than the take out that I wanted. I guess that’s a win.

    I am going to clean today,my house needs it!

  • MIpiccolo
    MIpiccolo Posts: 65 Member
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    I love the idea of checking in every day, and just taking one day at a time. Hubby told me we will be doing something fun for my birthday at the end of May, so that’s my long term goal for now, but that’s only accomplished by doing my best each day!

    Goals -
    1. Over step goal of 15k
    2. 1 hour cardio
    3. 30 min weight machines or body weight exercises
    4. Stay under calorie goal (more protein fewer carbs)
    5. Drink lots of water
  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,359 Member
    edited February 2019
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    @HEGoddard0928

    Thank you. My past is wrought with what I thought were poor choices, pain and crazy fun. I wasn't diagnosed until about 5 years ago when a "high" nearly shattered my life and destroyed me. People knew something was wrong because I couldn't hold it together for any length of time. I'd always just say it was a bad day at work, which it was. My husband has been by my side and forgiven more than I could ever ask any man to forgive. Anyway, it has taken a while to get my meds sorted out, zombie girl was not a pleasant phase. I wasn't harming myself, but there was no joy in my life. I'm pretty stable now and able to feel. There are still times when I resent the meds and want to stop, but I have way more to live for these days and that gets me by.
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,792 Member
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    Clicketykeys - “feelings aren’t facts”. That really stuck with me, I need to remember that. I’ve seen others that have gone on cruises be able to enjoy the food and maintain because of the steps they manage to get in. Either way, I think I would enjoy the cruise and worry after.

    Maryrobinson40 - I hope your prayers are answered, you deserve a break. Why are you wanting to give up coffee? Just curious.

    PackerfaninGB - Isn’t decluttering a huge relief when you get going? I am trying right now to figure out some changes at home so that I can get a spare room back. We haven’t had one since we moved in here and I missing it. I love The Ranch I binge each new season as it comes out.

    Azulvioleta6 - you swimming has made me think I need to get back to that. I spent money on lessons and have never gone since.

    Bex953172 - oh boy I remember those years. My girls were only grandchildren on my side as well as only Great Grandchildren. They were only nieces and I had friends with children just a bit older so ended up with hand me downs. Toys were trying to overrun the house. One thing I started doing was bagging some up and putting them away. I didn’t throw them away, I just limited the chaos. Every month or so I would bag up some that were left out and bring out the bagged ones. Of course, I never bagged the toys that actually got played with regularly, but all those other ones that they dig out, strew all over the place and then leave because they have no interest in it really. Those toys may have gotten thrown out after their month in the bag. Tracie said it best, “motherhood is for the young”. You are an incredible Mom carrying a lot on your shoulders. If a cry gets you through, take the time to do it. I remember many, many tears, but now mostly the memories are smiles even the ones that caused tears. I think now is a good time to get Marley to help, terrible twos or not she needs to understand the consequences and how being part of a family means doing things to help others. Oh Bex, I just want to hug you. If Ash doesn’t want you using the car, will he get up to drive Saskia to school? He doesn’t seem very helpful to you sometimes.

    Frenchfancy2014 - Hugs to you, now is the time to start the healing process. Take care of yourself.

    Nlmackey98 - I’m so sorry to hear about your friends daughter. Suicide is seeming to be more and more prevalent. Just last week a guy I went to school with committed suicide. He is the 3rd one that I went to school with. The two others were brothers, I think of their parents often and wonder how they are doing. I think we are moving forward as a society in discussing and learning about mental health but it’s not fast enough and it’s not taken seriously enough by some yet. I hope your friends daughter gets the help she needs.
    I think that will be a hard discussion to have with your children, but is so important to have.

    Bookmeister86 - I’ve been overeating the last couple of weeks too. I don’t have anything to blame it on the except lack of self control. Good luck with your French, time will go fast I’m sure, hopefully your current job is manageable until then.

    Hegoddard0928 - I love how you enjoy being home, I am the opposite, I like the routine of work. Funny how we all look at things differently. My friend that I had called the police on a couple years ago was diagnosed with Bipolar at that time. I have known her since she was 15, I often thought over the years that she had bipolar, she was 50 when diagnosed. She seems to be doing ok now, but I worry when she is quiet or seeing depressed. I am happy to hear you are doing well.

    Sunshinemomof2 - stay at home mom can be very lonely and boring. Come back often, this group really helps.

    Well I have written a novel! I should figure out what to do with my day, I was going to run to the store but it’s so cold!!!!
  • HEGoddard0928
    HEGoddard0928 Posts: 824 Member
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    Just had tea/lunch with my Godmom. We have some plans for the clinic. I learned exactly what she wants and I am fully on board! I'm so excited!

    But now it's time to change and go to the gym! I'm gonna finish beta reading a book for my friend while I'm there.

    I hope everyone is having a good day!
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,093 Member
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    @Snowflake1968
    Thanks for your reply!
    HA i think he would only ever take them to school in the morning was if i was dead!!

    Remember im his carer, he might not be able to help me with lots of things but he helps me with things i could never do myself. He sorts out all the bills and makes sure weve all got everything we need, he does his share of the cleaning and the extra jobs around the home like washing the windows, DIY, carpet cleaning, scrubbing the skirting boards, he'll be doing our garden up because ive never even mowed a lawn?
    And when things go to hell he always sets the kids straight snd he helps me organise stuff with them like activities.
    Hes forever treating me with stuff lol

    All it is with the car is that its the first most expensive thing hes bought (8,000), its his first ever car and its already been crashed. Even though it wasnt my fault its just took a year for the insurance to pay out. And i never contribute to petrol because the moneh i earn doesnt even cover half the household so he pays alot more out than me too.
    So i get where hes coming from, he just wished asked, but im in a catch 22 because if i wakd him he complains about that too.. do wish j could have more help like that but it wouldnt be fair to ask him, plus i dont think mentally he could do it, i might stress out but i actually handle it, he would just not take them to school if it got too much in the morning!

    I hope you all done get the wrong impression of him lol!

    Hes hard to live with but i bloody love him to bits.
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,792 Member
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    @Bex953172 - I’m glad he helps out in so many other ways. I probably did look at it the wrong way. Part of that is from my own experience as a Mother with young ones and getting very little help from my husband. He drove truck and was rarely home, but when he was it was like it just gave me someone else to take care of. I had to hire sitters even when he was home because he wouldn’t watch the girls while I went to work. I loved and still so love him to bits too, but it could have been so much easier than it was. One time I left him alone with the girls for about an hour, one of the girls dirtied their diaper, he called his sister to come change it. We all spoiled him. I worry about young women that in anyway might be seen as not being supported. I’m sorry I projected.

  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,093 Member
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    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    @Bex953172 - I’m glad he helps out in so many other ways. I probably did look at it the wrong way. Part of that is from my own experience as a Mother with young ones and getting very little help from my husband. He drove truck and was rarely home, but when he was it was like it just gave me someone else to take care of. I had to hire sitters even when he was home because he wouldn’t watch the girls while I went to work. I loved and still so love him to bits too, but it could have been so much easier than it was. One time I left him alone with the girls for about an hour, one of the girls dirtied their diaper, he called his sister to come change it. We all spoiled him. I worry about young women that in anyway might be seen as not being supported. I’m sorry I projected.

    Oh god dont apologize, you can only go off what i post so im not suprised you got that impression, i complain alot LOL
    My own parents thought he was controlling and had to have a conversation and clear the air with his parents, THAT was mortifying. They just didnt like that he helped me find a voice and thought it was odd that i cut off all my friends, but that wasnt down to him, thats bdcsuse they were toxic. Didnt help when one of them came to my house crying to my dad? Weirdo.

    It is kind of different to other relationships, living with someone with a personality disorder can be quite turbulent but wd never go to bed angry at each other, we always make up. He might get re-annoyed by morning but i can tell him to pack it in.

    There was one occassion i wound him up (on purpose) and he punched me in the face (i pushed it very very far) , dont think he expected a wallop back though LOL that was a long time ago though.

    I dont know if im right as im still young but i think as weve both been through so much together and the fact we're made it thtough some awful moments, skint, baby loss, MH (by both of us) i think that were gonna be growing old together :)
    P.s. i think most men are useless with poo LOL
  • ZizzyBumble
    ZizzyBumble Posts: 1,679 Member
    edited February 2019
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    @Bex953172. It sounds as if you and Ash love and cherish one another. We all have our faults and can be difficult to live with but believing in the strength of our love to get us through the challenges in life is what counts. Go ahead and moan then go to bed without a grudge. If you both believe in your partnership, it will survive and you can grow old together. May you enjoy many years together.

    As for children and their toys, I still remember my anger when my ornaments, toys etc were bagged up and put on the loft when I would not keep my room tidy. Sad to say, I'm still a messy person so I don't think it worked but at least you can see the bedroom floor now that I have a house of my own! I still have to do a lot of tidying in advance of any visitors and it's not helped by having a husband who also hoards things and is no tidier than I am! There's a lot of decluttering to be done before we can sell this house and move to our retirement house on Skye.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    edited February 2019
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    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Sunday:
    1. weigh :)
    2. should get 10,000 steps--not easy on a wet winter weekend! :(
    3. at least 8C liquid :( at least I tracked it! had too much coffee yesterday
    4. eat at least one big salad :)
    5. finish organizing weekly work/social/exercise schedule :)
    6. Do meal prep/planning for the first part of the week :)
    7. At least two self-care activities :)

    Monday:
    Well, it snowed this morning and it is still snowing, so I am just now posting from work at lunchtime. I am guessing that going to the pool tonight is not going to be safe, so:
    1. weigh
    2. get in steps at work and take a short walk in the snow after work
    3. 8C liquid
    4. one salad
    5. no social eating/snacks at work
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    edited February 2019
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    sorry, double post!

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