JUST FOR TODAY -- One Day at a Time .... Daily commitment thread for 2019
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4:30 AM. I'm home earlier than anticipated, thankfully! Got all the students back safely as well. Now for a shower and BED!5
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5/3:19 Friday
Weight 151.6 lbs
Stay in green 😾
At least 4 8 oz. glasses of water 🤠 drank 6
Exercise 😾
Bed by midnight 🤠11:45pm
JFT 5/4/19 sat.
Weight
Stay in green
4 8 oz. glasses of water
Exercise
Bed by midnight
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littleblackskirt wrote: »JFT 3rd May
So yesterday was a big failure, I feel like I shouldn't even be on mfp if I'm not going to log properly. My life is pretty good right now yet I can't seem to get it together with calories and food. Maybe I need to keep myself busier so I'm not snacking. In some pain today so my plan is to have a "gentle" weekend, then make new plans on Monday.
LOL i never log properly!
Well i hzvent so far this year!
I cant get it together either, my brain just feels mashed, constantly.
I was woken up at 7am by the kids.
And listened to 3 hrs of screaming, high pitch crying and fighting.
I dont wanna be a mum today lol.
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@littleblackskirt - that’s the beauty of JFT. Yesterday was a bust but today is a new day! Tell yourself you can do it for just one day, and then when you’ve had a good day and are proud of yourself, the momentum starts to build. I’ve said it before, but I definitely have lots of fails. What’s made such a difference over the last couple of years is that I leave those bad days firmly behind and get back on it quickly. I think this thread has been so important for me in forgiving myself and just moving on. And now there are far more good days than bad.
With that said, hugs @Bex953172! It took me ages to get everything done with the kids last night and once I finally got them to bed and sat down I fell into the snacks. It’s so hard sometimes to look after yourself when you’re looking after everyone else. Keep showing up here and I know it will click when the time is right. Your three are so little right now and that neediness is overwhelming sometimes, i know x
@clicketykeys - wow! Sleep well x
@snowflake1968 - did you hear any more from the lady about the job?
@MLHC1 - hope things got better with the hubby. Big hugs
@mytime6630 - thanks for the May challenge. I’ve been thinking about it but actually realised I never get any sodding time sitting still to get up and do 5 somethings! I will try when I can, but think I’m close to my limit with exercise. It’s the food I need to watch!
@PackerFanInGB, @maryrobinson40, @toaljasa, @ZizzyBumble, @nlmackey98, @cschmitz110515, @aubyshortcake, @AJB1014, @wannabeskinnycat, @korina75, and anyone I’ve missed. Big hugs and cheers from me and hope to catch up with your news this weekend x6 -
Hi everyone, I’m back to it today after having the laziest day ever. I didn’t eat too much though and that’s a massive difference from the 1st 2 weeks in April. I would’ve hoovered up the fridge 🍕🍟🍔🍰 now I’m all 🍎🍐🍉🥗🥑😀
I’ve seen a few posts about husbands and marriage etc. I feel or have felt everything I’m reading here. We’ve been together 22 years now and there’s been so many different phases of our union. We’ve done the passing ships and not seeing each other properly during the week, for work & childcare reasons and then the weekends were all about football, dance, & kids parties.
As the kids got to mid teens we felt we could relax a little bit and started to look forward to doing things we missed. Then we got blindsided by my brain tumour and the world stopped turning. For a long time I wasn’t able to do much for myself and my hubby had to handle everything by himself, plus the added pressure and stress of me being poorly.
I’m back at work, the kids (20 & 18) are at uni & have good part time jobs and we’ve all adapted to how things just are now. I use a wheelchair most days and I can’t drive anymore so that brings an element of planning we didn’t need before.
Now that the kids don’t need us as much, we’ve found we’re spending more time together than we ever have. And it’s tough! Sometimes we have to work at our communication and make more effort to be nicer. It’s so easy to make a snappy comment or for frustrations to bubble over and I still haven’t found a way to apologise like an adult. After a day of not talking to him I’ll ask him if he wants a cuppa 😀
One thing we’ve learnt is to not take things for granted and that’s probably the main reason we’re still married. We have dates a few times a month and like to try different things than a meal/night out. Last month we went on an open top bus tour of our fantastic city and it was fab.
We don’t have the perfect relationship cos we’re not perfect. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of more things for us to figure out and hopefully we get to do that together ❤️❤️9 -
My Saturday morning check in. Yesterday was hard! Went to work after my run and found my assistant was in but going home again because she was still ill. I have a teaching student that I’m mentoring so in addition to having the class on my own I was trying to help her with lesson planning! Rushed around all day and then in the evening drove manically through the rain with the kids to try and get after-school stuff done. Success- but only got the kids to bed at gone 9! Then finally sat down but bf tang and was offloading his troubles so I ended up snacking to stay awake on the phone. Oops.
But this morning I’ve got up and got some jobs done. The kids have gone off with their dad for the weekend and I’ve just done my Warrior class. Weighed in and I’m actually down a little so no harm done. Going to see my nephew to drop off a birthday present then head to bf’s place to hopefully relax.
Friday goals recap:
- morning run (10.4k) ✅
- pack snacks for work ✅
- home lunchtime for car and shake ✅
- do GaG before leaving ✅
- Pick up kids on way home ✅
- Eyebrow threading ✅
- Cafe for kids dinner and homework ✅
- kids hair wash ✅
- bed by 10 ❎ Bf called, I listened, and ate! 😬
Saturday goals:
- laundry ✅
- Girls pack for dad’s place ✅
- Warrior class 9:30 ✅
- Groceries ✅
- Tanning ✅
- Wrap present and write card ✅
- Quick house clean
- Pack for bf’s house
- Drop present
- Head to bf
- Try and stay awake past 10pm 😉
Happy weekend all x6 -
Having a really leisurely Saturday morning but daughter and I are going for a hike in a bit then I have to work. I’ll probably have time on Sunday to really check in.
JFT 5/4
1 hour exercise
Date night with hubby
Stay within 1400 calories
5 fruit/veg
3 x mindful minutes
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Friday JFT:
▪Relaxing Saturday morning
▪Maintain baby's daily schedule
▪Breakfast
▪Pre-log food
▪Devotional Time
▪Final Exam Prep (Stats)
▪Review Budget
▪Manage Saturday Chore Day
▪BB-Wkout (1 DVD exercise)
▪Lunch
▪Regular kiddo afternoon
▪Gym (have to go btw 8:30-12:30)
▪Dinner
▪Evening schedule
Today is a new day!! Last day on my 6-day Slim Down!! Even though I changed lunch plans yesterday, I kept my total calorie intake low so I'm going to finish the plan today correctly.
Everyone enjoy their weekend!! Be blessed 😊5 -
Had a good day yesterday. After dinner I had a 1/2 cup of blueberries - someone on this thread had mentioned that as a snack and it's a good one. Thanks for the suggestion. Previously an after dinner snack was 2 oz of cheese, 16 crackers and a cookie (if one was in the house). Clearly not snacking after dinner is an important habit for me and will continue to be my path to weight loss and more importantly weight maintenance.
JFT 5/4/19
Pre tracked to 1700 (Saturday is my cheat day and we're having a family dinner)
Water aerobics while my son plays golf with my mother (86 and going strong)
Put out wasp traps so we can eat outdoors
Enjoy cooking and getting ready for our party
No snacking or wine after dinner
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I"m behind by 7 pages but jumping back here. Daughter & grandkids coming along to visit my mom today. We're doing mother's day early (it's my bday and hers in a couple). My mom will be 90 in a couple months so why wait. My dh aunt passed a couple nights ago and was the last of their fam of 12- he now feels like no family left & is still sick. Hopefully, today will go well w/no friction and eat healthy and not too much.
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I"m behind by 7 pages but jumping back here. Daughter & grandkids coming along to visit my mom today. We're doing mother's day early (it's my bday and hers in a couple). My mom will be 90 in a couple months so why wait. My dh aunt passed a couple nights ago and was the last of their fam of 12- he now feels like no family left & is still sick. Hopefully, today will go well w/no friction and eat healthy and not too much.
Happy birthday and early Mother’s Day @cory17
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Hi all, happy Saturday! We're driving to Tampa today so I'll have to read all the posts later or I'll get car sick lol.
Yesterday 5/3:
1. Give Rukia her a.m. pills 😁
2. Stay within calorie goal😞 TOM cravings put me about 1,000 over 😭
3. Go for a walk at lunch if it's not raining😁
4. Fully finish weekly report at work😑 suppliers' website was down so couldn't do it
5. Give Rukia her p.m. pills😁
6. Relax😁
JFT 5/4:
1. Give Rukia her a.m. pills 😁
2. Stay within calorie goal
3. Get a minimum of 5,000 steps
4. Give Rukia her p.m. pills
5. Relax3 -
JFT - Friday May 3- DETERMINED
2L of water - 🙂
Calories in green - 👿
Walk 1 Mile - 🙂
Plank Challenge - 100 squats
5 Fruits and Veggies - 1/5
Only 1 evening Snack - 👿👿
5 something at bathroom break - 🙂
Something on commercials - 🙂
Write in Journal - 🙂
Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices - 😏
JFT - Saturday May 4 - DETERMINED
2L of water
Calories in green
Walk 1 Mile
Plank Challenge
5 Fruits and Veggies
Only 1 evening Snack
5 something at bathroom break
Something on commercials
Write in Journal
Do not disappoint myself, be conscious of my choices
I wonder if I’m not fighting something, I slept in yesterday and this morning and the last two afternoons had a nap as well. I’m also hungry the last two days. I’m hoping today is better.
We are watching Michaela today while Jonah is enjoying a movie with his parents. It is End Game so it’s a long date.
I have heard back from Sarah, the lady with the job. I was getting worried about her. She is at a training conference in Colorado she thought she would have more free time than she has so she will call me on Tuesday instead.
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MLHC1 - I hope you have a better day today.
Littleblackskirt - I love that you completed the paperwork just so you didn’t have to come back here and say you hadn’t. That is what has kept me on a steadier keel all winter long and what I love about it.
Boredom is what is keeping me snacking, I know it. The sad part is I also know that boredom and snacking was the thing that made my Mom overweight and unhealthy my whole life. I didn’t understand why she couldn’t battle it harder. I wish she was well enough for me to apologize to her for my thoughts now. I am still logging it all, it keeps me honest with myself especially when I see days like yesterday where I have smacked my self into the red by a full days calorie allotment. It is usually a day like that that keeps me from snacking as much the next day.
Elbee1. Woohoo water and bedtime!!!! You are doing it!
Wannabeskinnycat - I have been practicing how to apologize like an adult too. It’s tough to admit when you’re wrong or in my case I find I am at my worse when what I really want is some attention. I don’t get it and then get nasty.
Faebert- I hope you have a wonderfully relaxing weekend. You deserve it after your week.
Lafayettenana - I need to change my evening snack too, mine is usually grapes, cheese and crackers.
Cory17 - I think celebrating early is an excellent idea. Sorry to hear about your husband’s Aunt. It is hard losing the older generation. I have one uncle left on my Dad’s side from 7. My Mom was an only child, so only had greats on that side.
Aubyshortcake - have a safe trip.
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Recap 5/3 F ~ When early alarm rang, I almost decided to take a rest day, but I was awake so got up (thinking of my JFT goals).
1) Walked dog before work 3.57 mi 1:04:41 = happy dog & happy me
2) Move hourly / stairs breaks / 5 somethings = Fitbit 18,165 steps, 250+ 14/14 boom! & 55 floors
3) Net calories zero / 14c water = Snacked lots due to yard work. Net calories -267 (actually improving ), sodium -419, sugar 3, fiber & protein good & 14c water
4) Continue progress on GA-B FY19 (remember May deadline) = 51/110 summary pages
5) Evening: clear leaves off rose garden & hostas 9-10 loads to curb & sore back / wash (some) dishes nope after yard work
6) Floss / retainers = too lazy
JFT 5/4 Sat. ~ slept in until 9:30
1) Wash bedding & hang outside ~ it's a gorgeous spring day finally & high temps in 60s
2) Walk dog
3) Pick up Hmong eggrolls order at church (take checkbook)
4) Choir at church 4:40 for 5:00 service
5) Not sure of meals / net calories zero / 14c water2 -
Weekly Weigh-In = When I'm active I eat back calories. My weaknesses: I love food... my sweet tooth, especially chocolate... portion control... FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Saturday a.m. is my MFP weigh-in logging day, and I peek occasionally other days. My digital scale only shows half pound increments & I'm too cheap to buy a fancier scale. No goal dates set ~ this is not a diet but my lifestyle.
Age 61, 5'4.5"
GW #1: 150 in a livable way = It's. Not. A. Diet.
GW #2: 145 normal BMI
UG maintain: 145 - 150 [Need to be realistic! Revised from 140 - 145]
11/5/15 = 195.0 joined MFP with no real plan except It's. Not. A. Diet.
1/10/17 = 185.5 clearly not a regular on MFP / joined JFT, best group ever!
5/31/17 = 180.5 two end of month celebrations / committed to posting weekly weigh-in06/03 = 177.509/02/17 = 170.0 Woohoo! Officially overweight, not obese
06/10 = 179.5 pre-10K spaghetti supper night before
06/17 = 179.5 numerous meals away from home, several occasions w/ alcohol, happy no gain
06/24 = 178.0 fluctuated during week, but ended ok
07/01 = 176.0 Yay!!! Achieved June goal to stay <180
07/08 = 177.5 oops
07/15 = 176.5
07/22 = 175.0
07/29 = 174.0 saw at least one daily w-i below 174
08/05 = 174.5 dined out for Girls Day Out & ate Dad's cooking & baking
08/12 = 173.5 scale flirted with even lower numbers on daily weigh-ins
08/19 = 173.5 had couple of high calorie days
08/26 = 172.0 kind of a surprise09/09 = 171.5 backsliding, ack!12/09/17 = 158.5 surprised to say the least / first time in 10 years my weight is 1-5-anything!
09/16 = 169.5 yay, the middle number is a six!
09/23 = 168.5 have lots challenges in upcoming week
09/30 = 167.0 met Sept goal to stay under 170
10/07 = 166.0
10/14 = 166.5 dined out 2 days with adult beverages plus wine & cheesecake at spa
10/21/17 = 166.5 dined out 2 days plus food day in office / no gain is good [joined Just Give Me 10 Days challenge (daily w/i)]
10/28 = 164.5 very active week & watched CICO / reached October goal of 165
11/04 = 163.0 wow, really surprised at this, daily fluctuations very up and down this week
11/11 = 164.5 this is temporary b/c very high sodium yesterday
11/18 = 162.0 big surprise, especially b/c I weigh myself daily and didn't see this all week
11/25 = 163.0 no surprise after 2 no-logging-food days (parade day and Thanksgiving), just glad not worse
12/02 = 161.0 Jingle Bell 5K day / 44:37 chip time & ave. pace 14:22 & very happy!12/16 = 158.0 no work parties or food days & stuck with CICO02/17/18 = 153.0 thrilled with annual physical on 2/15/18: BP 110/68, pulse 64 and BMI 26.14
12/23 = 157.5 no "workouts" but shoveled snow & snowshoed, busy with Christmas preparations
12/30 = 159.0 Christmas Day no food/beverages logged
01/06/18 = 159.0 New Year's Eve hubby & I splurged on treats & beverages (at home), and I did not log...totally worth it!
01/13 = 157.0 big surprise! Yesterday evening, walked in Frenzy on the Fox 5K in 47:26 & pace 15:19. Very happy with my time, wore layers of clothes in 10 degrees & NNW 12 mph wind, fun event.
01/20 = 156.5
01/27 = 156.5 maintaining / not a bad thing
02/03 = sick / no weigh in
02/10 = 152.5 unhealthy loss due to illness / I know weight will go back up & I'm totally fine with that02/24 = 154.0 little out of control last week, but at goal for the month05/26/18 = 153.0 Health Risk Assessment 5/15/18 ~ BMI 25.6
03/03 = 155.5 oops / still lower than before I was sick
03/10 = 153.5 back on track
03/17 = 152.5
03/24 = 153.0 evening snacks & two days straight of 8 hr seminars (+ lots of sitting)
03/31 = 153.5 pre-10K spaghetti supper night before / Badger State Brewing 10K 1:30:28.82 and average pace 14:35
04/07 = 154.5 ack ~ ate Easter candy most evenings
04/14 = 153.5 Day 1 of record-setting blizzard ~ yuck! Followed by day 2 of blizzard, then snow day (no work / still shoveling & plowing) on Monday ~ in APRIL ~ yikes!
04/21 = 153.5 after such weird week & daily weight fluctuations, happy to maintain
04/28 = 152.0
05/05 = 153.5 kinda stalled three months + feeling hungry more often ~ since w/i 10# of goal, changed MFP setting to lose 1/2 lb. per week & see how it goes
05/12 = 153.5 ok with this ~ think changing my MFP setting, and having more net calories to play with, is agreeing with me ~ I'm not so hungry all the time
05/19 = 154.0 drinks (2 margaritas) & dinner w/ BFF night before + enjoyed everything!06/02 = 153.0 basically in maintenance for now ~ I'll take it!12/29/18 = 159.5 stayed 1-5-anything over holidays & vacation
06/09 = 152.5 Bellin Run 10K 1:28:12 split time 45:03 ave. pace 14:12 ~ beat goal of < 1:30
06/16 = 152.0
06/23 = 156.0 end of vacation week & lots of eating out
06/30 = 155.5
07/07 = 156.0 post-vacation w/i net calories not. so. much. Ack!
07/14 = 154.5 prelogging & sticking w/ plan helps
07/21 = 154.5 Packers 5K 44:50 ave pace 14:26 min/mile ~ beat goal < 45:00
07/28 = 157.5 peanut M&M attacks (eek) + dinner out w/ SIL/niece (yum!) + staff luncheon (ick)
08/03 = 155.5 started Evening Snack Challenge on JFT
08/11 = 158.0 stressful week (job crap ~ hubby's & my own) , Chinese buffet 1 evening & Feast with the Beasts (so worth it!)
08/18 = 157.5 saw 156.0 during week ~ evening snack challenge not. so. good.
08/25 = 156.0 prelogged as much as possible & CICO getting better
09/01 = 154.5 included Taste on Broadway & office relocation so packing & moving boxes ~ very pleased
09/08 = 157.5 too many office bday indulgences / City Stadium 5K for Veterans 44:27 & ave. pace 14:16 ~ beat goal of < 44:30
09/15 = 156.0
09/22 = 155.5 maybe lower if not for Pizza Ranch prairie pizza & wine at BFF's the night before
09/29 = 154.0
10/06 = 155.0 may include water retention in muscles b/c resumed home version of weights & circuit-training day before
10/13 = 157.0 birthday treats & adult beverages / walked in Run for the Hill of It 5K in 48:13 pace 15:32 & hill 2:01 ~ beat both time (part unpaved trail with sloppy conditions due to 5" rain over preceding week) & hill (finish is UP a steep sledding hill) from last year and learned only 25 out of 267 participants finished the hill < 1 min.
10/20 = 155.0
10/27 = 158.0 oops... lots of leaf-raking the evening before + too. much. snacking.
11/03 = 156.5 better planning / stopped evening snacking (mostly)
11/10 = 156.0 basically stuck in maintenance mode ~ not the worst thing
11/17 = 157.0
11/24 = 159.5 Thanksgiving week & paid time off with hubby ~ def going in wrong direction ~ oops
12/01 = 157.5 Jingle Bell 5K 45:38 & ave. pace 14:42 ~ not bad
12/08 = 157.0
12/15 = 156.5 clearly in maintenance mode all year ~ not exactly the plan but I'm ok with this for now ~ really happy to stay 1-5-anything
12/22 = 155.5 surprised by this ~ maybe due to much later than normal weigh-in (late start to the day)
01/05/19 = 157.5
01/12 = 158.0 Frenzy on the Fox 5K 1/11 with friends ~ not timed / MapMyWalk 54:19
01/19 = 158.0 maintained even with evening snacking & skipped workouts
01/26 = 157.5
02/02 = 158.5 hubby's traditional bday dinner + leftovers + evening snacking ~ oops
02/09 = 158.5 ok with no gain / Seroogy's Valentine 5K 48:34:89 & ave. pace 15:89 in below zero temps & icy mile 2
02/16 = 158.0
02/23 = 160.0 oops... deserved, net cals & sodium def red prior 3 days. Annual physical 2/26 159.6 fully clothed.
03/02 = 159.5
03/09 = 157.5
03/16 = 158.0 feeling unwell & no workouts all week
03/23 = 157.5 finally feeling better
03/31 = 160.5 posting Sun. month end w/i ~ too many days, net calories RED. Badger State Brewing 10K 3/30 in 1:28:14 & ave. pace 14:12 and beat goal < 1:30
04/06 = 160.0 saw 158.5 during week
04/13 = 159.5
Hiatus from MFP 4/17 - 4/29 (Easter 4/21)
05/04 = 161.5 logging again starting 4/30
“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” Francis of Assisi4 -
PackerFanInGB wrote: »@cschmitz110515 We finally got our back yard fenced in for Maddie, so she can run like the wind now! OMG. You should see her. I've never seen a happier dog...it's like she is smiling.
I'm smiling just thinking of her running in her own back yard.4 -
nlmackey98 wrote: »
JFT Friday
- Shower/hair/makeup Shower, but it's raining so I skipped hair & makeup. Love my ball caps
- Work by 8:00
- Check in with MFP Later than normal, but still done.
- Resubmit inquiry to ISO
- Lunch < 300 cal
- Not snack on the way to shrink. Driving is tough for me.
- Not let my anxiety over going to the doc ruin my day. I shook it off pretty well
- Not snack on the way home. Even harder when I'm emotionally raw. I was falling asleep driving so I grabbed a bag of Cheetos to help me stay awake, I have this problem at times and eating is the best solution I’ve found.
- Do a couple loads of laundry (Sometimes I feel this is my purpose in life)
- Clean the nasty floors yea! I finally cleaned the floors. Broke a sweat scrubbing.
- Reasonable dinner reasonable but heavy on my stomach 50/50 spaghetti/ spaghetti squash with meat sauce no garlic bead. For the record spaghetti squash does not taste like spaghetti, but when mixed 50/50 is pretty good.
- Movies with the husband to see End Game before some one spoils it for me.
- Don't gorge on popcorn. I looked at the calorie count on the sign and decided it was worth it. I ate my share of buttery goodness, but did not overindulge.
do.
JFT Saturday
- Sleep in Holy hell I slept until 11:30 when my daughter woke me up to as some silly question.
- Laundry, always laundry
- Tidy up the house and unpack the tubs that are in the garage left from installing the new floors.
- Maybe wog (walk/jog) depending on the weather. It’s supposed to rain.
- Hang some art work in the kitchen. Not loving the last lot I bought. They are pretty but not right
- Chill
Sorry if I made yesterday seem like a bad day for me. There were activities that made me anxious, even embarrassed, but as long as I didn’t let those instances take over the day, I was ok. Things were difficult, but went well. Solutions make me nervous, but didn’t consume my day.
I ate the popcorn and it was yummy as always. I’m doing the 10 day weigh in thing. Normally after a high cal, with Cheetos, pasta & popcorn is bury my head in the sand and stop logging and weighing. Assuming I had undone every thing, swearing I’d get back on board tomorrow, but I wouldn’t I’d mentally give up. Not today. Today I ate breakfast and realized I forgot to weigh, but instead of skipping it I stepped on the scale. I’m up 1.4 pounds, but some is breakfast and some is excess from yesterday that will go away in a day or two. Reality is I’m probably only up less than 0.5poinfs. Look past my fears to reality is big for me. Not being afraid to log a gain is huge, I feel good about this.
Positive Thought; Nothing is off limits in life. Sometimes the choice that makes you happy is better than the safe choice.5 -
Well, rough day! To update everyone, I sort of compromised with the ice cream. I took my kids to get ice cream cones and one of them picked rocky road, he let me have 1 bite then he ate the rest. He loves me!! I'm sorry to be such a "downer" today but I sure do appreciate you all being there for me.
Just to clear things up, yes I have 4 children, my husband is a business owner (he is a builder for commercial and residential) and finally, I'm a fulltime premed student.
We are at that 10 yr point in our relationship so I know this is a pivotal time. My counselor has advised me that if we can get thru this then we will be stronger than ever before. I love my hubby and want us to work together to fix all the issues. It is just a difficult season.
Well moving forward........tomorrow is a new day!! The brightside---> I did not over eat to feed my emotions today!!
You have a ton going on, and there is no was to meet every expectation in every direction. No one should expect that of you. I’m betting he also fails to meet some of your expectations.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have a great relationship, but that was not always the case.
Early in our marriage we saw a counselor, and the best thing she taught us was how to talk to each other and how to productively ask for what we need. He would come at me accusatory. I would cry and run away. He would follow. We would argue and nothing would be resolved,
Or I would come at home rude, snide & belittling, which made him mad, see above.
Point is nothing ever got resolved, He learned not to chase after me and that I would talk when I was ready. I learned the I was treating him like a child and he resented that. So I needed to change my tone.
She also had us read a book called “Love Languages”. It drones on, but you can get the gist is the first chapter or two. He feels most loved through physical touch. I feel most loved through little gifts.
Once we had these tools, we were able to talk about our expectations for each other. It really bothered him to have dishes in the sink and if the cat litter was kicked out on the floor. I really hated when he put his sweaty running clothes in with the regular laundry and when he didn’t rinse the toothpaste out of the sink. These are all minor things, but they would trigger anger which got out of control. I didn’t mind fixing those few things as long as if I was too busy he would do it himself. In all honesty if the toothpaste bothers me, I can fix it instead of making an issue out of it.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you love each other, find a way to sit down (with a counselor is fine) and see what your expectations of the other are. They may be pretty reasonable, but not being dealt with well.
Oh and he was a total @$$ coming homing and telling you that.
Sorry for the book... it may not apply, but if it does I hope it helps!
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PackerFanInGB wrote: »@nlmackey98 I hope you start to feel better soon. I battled anxiety for much of my life and it can be debilitating. As far a the movie goes...I don't think I am capable of going to a movie and not eating their popcorn! Sometimes I find a movie for us to go see JUST BECAUSE I WANT SOME MOVIE THEATER POPCORN
I sometimes go buy a tub of popcorn an bring it home for movie nights!
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nlmackey98 wrote: »PackerFanInGB wrote: »@nlmackey98 I hope you start to feel better soon. I battled anxiety for much of my life and it can be debilitating. As far a the movie goes...I don't think I am capable of going to a movie and not eating their popcorn! Sometimes I find a movie for us to go see JUST BECAUSE I WANT SOME MOVIE THEATER POPCORN
I sometimes go buy a tub of popcorn an bring it home for movie nights!
I have heard of other people doing that too! I didn't know they would let you in the door to buy it without buying a ticket! I'm going to have to check into this...or maybe I shouldn't? Hahaha! I did go buy some regular popcorn to pop on the stove, rather than microwave. Maybe just making old fashioned popcorn will take care of that urge?4 -
nlmackey98 wrote: »
You have a ton going on, and there is no was to meet every expectation in every direction. No one should expect that of you. I’m betting he also fails to meet some of your expectations.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have a great relationship, but that was not always the case.
Early in our marriage we saw a counselor, and the best thing she taught us was how to talk to each other and how to productively ask for what we need. He would come at me accusatory. I would cry and run away. He would follow. We would argue and nothing would be resolved,
Or I would come at home rude, snide & belittling, which made him mad, see above.
Point is nothing ever got resolved, He learned not to chase after me and that I would talk when I was ready. I learned the I was treating him like a child and he resented that. So I needed to change my tone.
She also had us read a book called “Love Languages”. It drones on, but you can get the gist is the first chapter or two. He feels most loved through physical touch. I feel most loved through little gifts.
Once we had these tools, we were able to talk about our expectations for each other. It really bothered him to have dishes in the sink and if the cat litter was kicked out on the floor. I really hated when he put his sweaty running clothes in with the regular laundry and when he didn’t rinse the toothpaste out of the sink. These are all minor things, but they would trigger anger which got out of control. I didn’t mind fixing those few things as long as if I was too busy he would do it himself. In all honesty if the toothpaste bothers me, I can fix it instead of making an issue out of it.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you love each other, find a way to sit down (with a counselor is fine) and see what your expectations of the other are. They may be pretty reasonable, but not being dealt with well.
Oh and he was a total @$$ coming homing and telling you that.
Sorry for the book... it may not apply, but if it does I hope it helps!
Thank you for sharing a bit of your story and for the support. I actually am reading the "5 Love Languages" book right now, Lol!! My counselor told me about it plus the "5 second rule" book. I'm also doing the "Love Dare" as well. I'm doing the work and praying every day. As I've been told, my hubby has to come my direction too if this is going to work. So I'm just working on my self, praying and waiting for him to move towards me as well. My counselor said he has to do it in his own time so I need to just stay on track with what I'm doing. My counselor told me I have a high E.Q. so I feel lucky to know I understand my emotions and can work on my behaviors towards a better self. My hubby assures me that he plans to work on our relationship (aka attend counseling with me) after his busy, stressful time is over and "the dust settles. " I'm hoping this actually happens bc since I've known him "the dust never settles" at work. We'll see though!! Thanks again.
Also I just wanted to mention; I keep a couple of packs on sugar free gum in my vehicle so if I feel like snacking just bc I'm driving, I grab a piece of gum. The cinnamon flavor helps me stay awake. (What works for me may not for you but I thought I'd share my technique. ) 😊3 -
Checking in from Friday
1. No AM run. Therapy exercises: lunges, push-ups, ankle lifts. Balance practice. Feed cats. Meds. Tea!
2. Before school: Update first directions. Update class websites. Print sub plans for 4th. Set out ch 1 and 2 questions.
3. Class 1-2: Likert scale reflection. Chapter 2. Set out sub plans and roster. Update Goodreads.
4. Planning: FIELD TRIP! Take grading.
5. Class 4: Finish Scarlet Ibis.
6. Connect standards to assignments and include them in titles and in gradebook and lessons. Review assessments. Align with purpose for each unit. Drink more water. No, more. Keep the pitcher in the fridge full. You're not actually hungry. Make some tea. Drink more water!
7. Grade one pagers. Review essay directions, articles, draft essay. Saturday: Y? Head to RC for 4:00 paperwork.
JFT Saturday
1. Walk to 10k.
2. Head to RC for 4:00 paperwork.
3. Dishes? Finish essay. Choose a recipe. Update grocery list.
4. Therapy exercises. Chop celery. Meds. Floss, rinse, brush teeth. Make sure to charge devices! In bed by 9:45; devices off by 10:00. Alarm set for 6:40.
Scale goalsEnd of 2017: 174.6
End of 2018: 189.2
January 2019: 186.0
February 2019: 187.0
Today: 192.4
Ongoing plans/ideas behind the cut1. Purchases: Go to Mac store and see if they can retrieve the files off the iMac. Look for an "ugly Christmas sweater" and a long-haired doll at thrift stores. Practice French braiding. Go to used bookstore and look for Design for How People Learn (Julie Dirksen), On Writing (Stephen King), Dying for a Paycheck (Robin Hardman), The Prince (tr. Tim Parks, Russell Price, or Robert Adams), The Secret Adversary (Christie). Add lamp and wobble board to grocery list.
2. E2: What should the controlling ideas be in a study of world literature? Review world lit options. Create vocabulary lists for each unit that come from the texts used: Animal Farm, Julius Caesar, Wes Moore, I Am Malala. Find a way to incorporate changing words from one part of speech to another. Students need to know how to review multiple sources and synthesize information in order to draw a conclusion. Need practice with the difference between transitions and overlapping (at end of paragraph - "another issue is Y" vs "there are other issues besides X"). Quit using "in conclusion" and "I believe" and other writing-about-my-writing phrases. Confusion between direct/indirect objects and prepositional phrases. Use the UDHR and the Declaration of Independence to study paraphrasing; use that to front-load Machiavelli and how to deal with challenging texts. Confusion between everyday / every day and similar constructions.
3. E1: Need practice with quoting & paraphrasing sources, identifying claims that would need support, use of last names for reference, and capitalization practice (common/proper nouns, titles). Difficulty using possessive nouns in their own writing. Honors: practice subject/object pronouns (my friend and I / my friend and me). Poetry: Revise "Songs are Poetry" handouts.
4. Curriculum Development: Writing mini-unit. Review scholarly research on 5PE. (I think I can have this as an intro to the research unit so that they also get exposure to how quotes are integrated and cited.) Parallel structure; use of emotional language, specific detail. Use "Write About a Pebble" lesson from Atwell. How long should each unit take? Do research on characteristics: curiosity, persistence, resilience, creativity, responsibility, optimism, courage, integrity, authenticity, leadership, self-awareness, humility, compassion - others? Include grammarly check on essays! Review assessments. What is the purpose for each unit? What should the controlling ideas be in a study of world literature? Review world lit options.
5. Professional Development: Write blog post weekly. Comment on 3 posts each week -Tu Th Sun? Check with PSC. Talk with Z about articles and/or conference proposals.
6. Medical: Apr 25 Dentist. Apr 22 McC. Call to set up checkups with Dass (October). GET MAGAZINES FOR COLLAGES FROM DOCTORS.
7. Theater: Audition for Mamma Mia ??? Need sub for May 2, opening day.
8. House: Mineral oil on tile spots. Check with D about ceiling.
9. Fun: Open beading on Thursdays. May 4 is SW Day and FCB Day. Coloring at library on Tuesday.
WFTY: Climbing. The field trip was GREAT but exhausting. It ended up being just under a 24-hour day.
Positive thought: I had a student choose me for their business class presentation about their favorite teacher!5 -
wannabeskinnycat wrote: »
JFT 04/05/19 Saturday
1. I’ll come back here in the evening
2. Log everything and be under calorie goal
3. Take at least 5500 steps and made up some for yesterday
4. Make time to be mindful for me
5. Catch up on undone jobs from today paperwork and errands done
6. Food shopping for the bank holiday weekend
JFT 05/05/19 Sunday
1. I’ll come back here in the evening
2. Log everything and be under calorie goal
3. Take at least 5500 steps
4. Make time to be mindful for me
5. Going for a walk at the beach first thing
6. Help elderly MIL (has dementia) with sorting & packing clothes for a little holiday she’s having
Have a nice Saturday night whatever you’re doing. And happy Sunday too 😃3 -
PackerFanInGB wrote: »
Just for Friday - TENACITY- Journal every bite I idid. But it sure wasn't pretty. I'm really glad I did it though at the end of the day because I think it finally really hit me just how bad my choices have been.
- Eat only while sitting down
- Make mindful choices when we go out for dinner tonight I wish I could blame it on my husband for urging me to "just eat one more" over and over. Truth is, I am a grown-*kitten* woman who can say no and usually do if it's something I really don't want to do.
- Drink 64 oz of water I didn't quite hit 64 oz but I did get in more than usual so I'm giving myself credit for increasing from yesterday. Small steps turn into big habits.
- Be kind. Be patient. Don't take your feelings out on others. I had a real good day yesterday. I tried to just let go of what I cannot control, and I think between my prayers and getting back to a routine (posting goals on here and reconnecting), it really helped me a lot.
- Update bullet journal for the month of May I love doing this. It's such a mindless thing to do where you don't have to think much. I write goals for the month and make shopping lists, etc. I also listen to podcasts while doing it. Just a nice bit of quiet time!
- Gratitude Journal / Joyce Meyer reading / Simple Abundance reading / Calm app
Happy Saturday! I'm having a putzy kind of day today--one of those days where you're busy doing stuff but it's all small stuff so it feels like you're getting nothing done but really you are...? Did that rambling even make sense? LOL!
I had a few eye openers today that really gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to get back on track. Letting my health go is not going to help my dad, my mom, my stepdad, my stepdaughter or the rest of my family. Letting myself go does not make me feel good or happy. Letting myself go does not increase my odds of stayng healthy. I don't like the way I feel or look right now. Only I can fix that. This is one thing that IS in my control right now.
JFT: Saturday- Journal every single bite, good or bad.
- WATER / TEA: Aim for 64 oz of water and 2 cups of pomegranate green tea without sweetener
- Read first phase of 17-Day Diet book | Meal plan for first 7 days | Make grocery list for plan | Aldi's run to pick up ingredients (This one is will likely be spread out between Saturday & Sunday)
- Drug Store Run: Pick up Rx | Ask about recalled med | pick up probiotics
- Update April goals and write out May goals
- Get outside! Rake or plant seeds or do something!
- Look up the church I heard about from J & L and plan to attend service tomorrow morning
- Clean jets in bathtub
- Watch Kentucky Derby (LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!)
- Body Groove workout
- Podcasts: Joyce Meyer | Phit n Phat (Thank you to whomever suggested this one! She's hilarious! I am married to a truck driver so I'm used to that language. Haha! )
- 30 minutes of self-care (Pedi? Bubble bath? )
- Household chores
- Devote a bit of time studying for Epic CEE exam on Tuesday.
- Unplug by 7:00 p.m. and be present with husband for Saturday night movie time.
- Gratitude journal | Joyce Meyer reading | Simple Abundace reading | Calm app or read
3 -
PackerFanInGB wrote: »nlmackey98 wrote: »PackerFanInGB wrote: »@nlmackey98 I hope you start to feel better soon. I battled anxiety for much of my life and it can be debilitating. As far a the movie goes...I don't think I am capable of going to a movie and not eating their popcorn! Sometimes I find a movie for us to go see JUST BECAUSE I WANT SOME MOVIE THEATER POPCORN
I sometimes go buy a tub of popcorn an bring it home for movie nights!
I have heard of other people doing that too! I didn't know they would let you in the door to buy it without buying a ticket! I'm going to have to check into this...or maybe I shouldn't? Hahaha! I did go buy some regular popcorn to pop on the stove, rather than microwave. Maybe just making old fashioned popcorn will take care of that urge?
I was at a friends house last week that made popcorn on the stove with a light drizzle of butter. I had forgotten how delicious it is and am buying some this week to start snacking on in the evening. Even with the butter it will be less calories than my regular snack.3 -
Saturday 4 May
Actually, it's now Sunday 5 May. I thought retirement would mean more time but apparently not! Another day of too much eating and not enough excercise. I blame our good friends who are staying with us! Sorry I have not read today's posts and I did not post any goals. My positive thought is that I had a lovely day.5 -
I cannot even imagine what I might do if a man told me I was not "measuring up." I would probably tell him to step up or step out. More likely, I would just kick him out.
I had a crazy day yesterday--travel for work, made complicated my the fact that the local ferry was closed, so I had a MUCH longer drive to and from my destination than anticipated. I got back to my office an hour later than usual, after everyone else was long gone. I called every taxi company in my small town and nobody could give me a ride. Apparently a spring Friday night in a town full of wineries, breweries and taphouses is busy for the taxi drivers. So I had no choice but to walk home with my heavy attache case and heels. It's only about four miles, but ouch! I hit nearly 20,000 steps for the day.
Hobbled a mile this morning to pick up my car, which is now in good working order, thank goodness! Ran a bunch of errands, drove up in the hills to a vineyard that also mills olives and got some fancy oil. No goals today, just rest and catching up. I might need to most rest tomorrow too as my feet feel awful!5 -
I definitely had an interesting day! Lots going on but was able to get quality time with both my daughter and my husband and I got to spend some time together as my in laws are back in town and took the kiddo's overnight.
JFT 5/4
1 hour exercise One hour hike with my daughter and 20 minutes of a hard run
Date night with hubby Lovely night!
Stay within 1400 calories Nope. Went over by about 400 or so. But worth it. Only time this week I've gone over so I'm not going to stress about it.
5 fruit/veg
3 x mindful minutes
I am 11 days away from a fabulous getaway with one of my bff's and I cannot wait. This week I need to go and purchase a new bathing suit and some summer clothes and resort wear (we are going to Sandals antigua for 4 days) and it'll be the first time in awhile that I don't dread bathing suit shopping. It's helping keep me on track for the most part too.
6 -
azulvioleta6: Ouch! Four miles in heels? Yea, I would need a day off too!
@ZizzyBumble My in laws say the same! They are busier now after retiring! But full of fun things, rather than boring work stuff.
@PackerFanInGB I totally get those days! I love a to do list where I can cross stuff off and then relax after, even if it's small stuff.
@nlmackey98 Marriage is such hard work! I think the big thing for us (and it sounds like for you too) is that both halves of the couple have to be willing to do the work.
@MLHC1 Our counselor years ago had us read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and it really helped us a lot. 10 years was a big turning point for us as well. But we continue today to work on our relationship every day, and we still have fights, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, etc. We have a strong relationship but a big part of that for us is constant open communication, forgiveness, and occasional therapy. That's not to say that he and I don't want to wring each others necks sometimes but I personally believe you can't live with someone and not want to murder them occasionally.4
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