WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR JANUARY 2019

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,594 Member
    Home again after a long weekend away. Australia Day made this a 3-day weekend and I took an extra day just 'cause I could!

    We stayed in a cute cottage built in the 1860s, but it has been nicely updated.

    But back home now where one of the two main bushfires is burning about 30 km away and the air is filled with smoke.


    M in Oz
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Lisa: I’m so sorry for the loss of your Girl Scout membership director. :cry:

    Kim: I suspect you would do well working for the park department and it could be a good thing if your city runs well and takes care of things like the park department. Keeping my fingers crossed on that. I have confidence that you will find a work situation that meets your financial needs and fits your interests and skills. :heart:

    Machka: I love your baby shower ideas. I wonder if Michele’s daughter would also love them. :flowerforyou:


    I just watched the most recent Outlander episode on Stars. I have loved the books since they first came out and own all of them. I am amazed at how well I like the TV production. DH doesn't interfere with my watching, but he refuses to watch with me. :ohwell:

    Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,696 Member
    Lisa - What a shock and so sad. Sudden death brings us all up short and makes us reassess. Today the sky is blue and, despite my cold, I am grateful to be able to appreciate its beauty.

    Betsy - You have such a lot to cope with. <3 All you can do is go along with it. That doctor sounds amazing! I recently watched a programme on just this subject and my feelings are exactly the opposite to your husband's. Like your Mom. Death is a subject of particular interest to me and I have read and watched a lot around the subject. I very much support the hospice movement.
    My DH doesn't like to talk/think about it. Partly because he had such a bad experience with his previous partner dying of cancer. I don't say so to him, but I think she was selfish, in denial, never talked about her death, never made a will, never designated next of kin, and elected to stay at home. As they were never married (together 25 years) she made the passing and the aftermath about as difficult as it could be. You'd think that would encourage him to apply his mind, but he is too scared. He always says, ' You don't know what it's like' and starts crying. It's because I don't want either of us to go through that that I would prefer to do things differently. I hope for a 'good' death. If I had the kind of partner who would help me hasten it if I needed to, I would, but the best I can see him cope with is a hospice. Then I don't want a funeral. I'd rather he spend the money on a really good wake.
    In some cities they have "Death Cafés " where, on certain days of the month, you can join with others in discussing these matters over a cup of coffee. I haven’t been yet, but I would like to.
    The one thing I need/want to do before I die is finish my memoir. I have started on the second volume, my teenage years. There will be three altogether. The first volume is on Amazon, called ME I AM. I'm still thinking about the title of the current volume. :*;)

    Today I am taking a 'duvet day'. No exercise, just chillaxing. I deserve/need it. Still sneezing/deep coughing/aching. Lots of tv will be watched and I will get on with my biography of Winston Churchill. America is just entering the war. It has been a steady companion in the nights of coughing for me. DH seems to be on the mend at last. I am worse than him now. :D

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • klanders30
    klanders30 Posts: 2,569 Member
    <3<3
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,087 Member
    another night of not so great sleep, but am up and showered.. believe me when I was married to Tom I kept asking him what he wanted...
    he does have a life insurance policy per the court so in case something happens within the next 9 1/2 yrs to him i still get money for alimony..
    I have my affairs in order, I am the type I want things done and dusted so I dont put my children in the position my dad did to us... I still have a mortgage and hoping somehow to pay that off before I kick the bucket lol..
    my will is in my lock box, the kids split my assets and if for some reason I die and Alfie is still around my dear friend Bev gets him. if she passes then Tom gets him lol, he really does love him and I know he would be well cared for..I have a book of all important passwords in the lock box and that would be for all the automatic payments that come out of the bank...
    also an organ donor... only reason to keep me on machine is for whatever they need, and shake and bake me after that.. oh yea and have a party .. no wake .. and remember the fun times...
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Lisa Haunting circumstances surrounding your friend's sudden death. So sorry for you and for her family.

    Karen in Virginia
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Allie shake and bake :D:D:D
  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,847 Member
    <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,594 Member
    LisaInAR wrote: »

    I woke up thinking of Kelly, the membership director who was killed. It was a pedestrian accident, which brought back memories of our Gloria, here on this thread, who's been gone at least a year now. But Kelly was crossing an interstate highway, on foot, at 10:30 p.m. Trying not to dwell on it, but the police investigation is ongoing, and it's hard to imagine how the person driving the car that struck her will deal with it all, as well.

    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR

    Sorry about this. :(

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,594 Member
    Back to work after a long-long weekend (4 days). Sigh. I feel like I could do with a month off to catch up on things.


    M in Oz
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,826 Member
    Kelly ... you did not mention the move for you MIL, but recalling past posts, it would seem it was probably time. A difficult thing to do no matter what the circumstances are. You most definitely need to take a break soon ...

    Death book ... I have a very hastily put together pile of information in an envelope on my desk. I've given my younger son my computer password and told him where to find the password master key. My husband and I really need to do better on this.

    I have about 2-1/2 feet of snow in the yard with more coming. The sun is shining today and it is another beautiful day!!

    Hugs and healing to all who need them!

    Beth near Buffalo

  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,087 Member
    Im trying to do side by side photos and it wont even let me put them in grrrr
  • LisaInAR
    LisaInAR Posts: 2,020 Member
    Oh, and to the person who asked - We get 20 days of paid time off, either sick days or vacation days, literally beginning your first day of work at this council. One of the more humane policies I've ever worked under. And I let them know during my interview that I was making arrangements to have the surgery done soon, so it won't come as a surprise.

    Regards,
    Lisa in AR
  • stltrimom1015
    stltrimom1015 Posts: 56 Member
    Looks like I’ll be starting over again :( . It’s not too bad though, only a couple of pounds gained. Had a very stressful week at work last week which led to a lot of over-eating. Not necessarily bad stuff, just too much and eating when I wasn’t really hungry. We have 3 different types of tax forms that have to be out by Jan 31st and having trouble with 2 of them. Doesn’t help that my co-worker (who gets on my nerves on a good day) has been extra irritating the last week or so.

    I managed to get out for a short run yesterday before the arctic blast comes through today. Cold is OK to run in (23*F yesterday) but not sub-zero with negative windchills. Guess I’m going to have to force myself to use the dreadmill (I hate that thing) but I need to get back to running regularly – it helps so much with stress relief.

    I’m about 10 pages behind here but hoping to get caught up once these forms finally get processed. Things should hopefully settle down for a while after that.
    Janet in eastern MO
  • stltrimom1015
    stltrimom1015 Posts: 56 Member
    TerriRichardson112 wrote: »
    Janet in SW MO - " One of the reasons I’m looking forward to retiring (even though I’m still about 8 years away), I’ll have more time to fit everything in.”
    This made me laugh. Since I retired I’m busier than ever. 😂😂😂 The difference is, I choose everything I do. Life is too short to do anything else.

    I've heard that from several people about being busier than before, but like you said, as long as 8 hours of that busy time is not going to work, I'll be happy :) .
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Heather: I am also grateful to be alive today. Death and dying is a complicated territory for everyone. My Auntie died slowly and painfully of cancer. Oregon had already passed a Death with Dignity Act, and it is still in effect, but George W Bush was President when Auntie was racked with pain from cancer and he wouldn’t allow physician assisted suicide. Eventually Oregon won in the Supreme Court—shortly after my Auntie died after a long and painful illness. :sad: Your DH is a sensitive man, and has been through a wringer with his first partner. He is lucky to have you in his life now. :heart:

    Lisa: I think about Gloria from time to time, myself. She was a valiant woman. :star: On another subject, I hope your surgery goes very well. Our neighbor just had a hip replacement a few days ago and I saw him outside walking with his wife yesterday. He was using a walker for assistance. He was only in the hospital for two days! I hope you do just as well or even better. :heart:

    Barbie: I’m so sorry that Jake has been sick. I hope he recovers soon. :flowerforyou:


    Yoga today, Yay!!! I need the exercise. I’ve been up a couple of pounds and my left knee has been complaining about the extra weight. I’ve cleaned up some bad habits and the weight is coming back down. I am within the weight goals set by MFP, but the knee is hurting so I need to drop a little below their recommendations.


    Katla in Beautiful & foggy NW Oregon
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    💟💟💖🙏⚓👌
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
    :)
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,945 Member
    I have been trying to find the time to respond for a couple of days now and am finally taking it.

    Kelly - my heart hurt about the little boy making the comment on your food. I was a Mom that fed my kids a lot of what I now consider junk. We didn’t have fast food places where we lived, McDonalds came to town the year we left. I “cooked” French fries and chicken nuggets,KD, Chef Boy R Dee, you get the drift. I made a proper meat, potato and veggie meal on the nights my husband was home, he drive long haul so it was only a couple nights every two weeks. I truly didn’t know how to cook much. I would try from time to time but then the girls wouldn’t eat and it would be a fight. I just didn’t have the energy for it. I started working for my cousin in her restaurant and my Aunt, her Mother, did all the baking. My Aunt was my hero and I so wanted to be here when I grew up. (I’ll never make it). I talked to her one day about my failures as a cook and she started showing me a little bit at a time. I learned how to cook restaurant style. The restaurant was a family style/truck stop so nothing fancy but I can now cook. This was in 1992.
    In 2012 when my Dad was sick my Aunt was living with her daughter as she had developed Alzheimer’s. Her daughter had found a poem that was written by her to me. It had been ripped out of a scribbler that the eldest daughter believed was full of her recipes, the eldest daughter thinks one of the other daughters kept the recipes so I never got them, but I treasure the poem. I typed it out and hung it in my kitchen. I wanted to preserve her handwriting.

    Just a Memory to Tracey Dawn

    In these pages she may see, recipes that were dear to me.
    So settle down and take a look, get out your bowl and begin to cook.
    See it’s not so hard to do, once you’ve decided, dessert or stew.
    I too had to learn
    Although many things I did burn.
    Takes time and patience I am sure
    But makes you try that much more.
    With best wishes in all you try
    There will be dishes to wash and dry
    With some goodies on a plate
    Really take a little break
    Watch a show on tv
    But all the while think of me.
    Just hope you’ll carry on.

    Maybe that Mom just needs an Aunt in her life that has patience and can teach her without making her feel bad, she probably already does that to herself I know I did. You are a blessing in those kids lives.

    My husband and I have not discussed plans on the event of a prolonged illness or death. I have thoughts and plans for myself but I’m not sure about him. I have tried to bring it up a few times but like Lisa, I get the dismissive sound. I can’t even get him to see a doctor so I just keep trudging along. I should do something up that my daughters have access to.

    Heather - I hope you start feeling better soon, this is a bad flu season this year. A week or so ago I heard that there has been over 500 deaths in Canada related to the flu this year.

    Lisa - So sorry to hear about your new coworker.

    I’m curious, I wasn’t a part of the group when Gloria passed, how were you able to find out what happened? I’ve thought about that from time to time when someone doesn’t post for a while.

    Well I’ve taken up way too much space. It is time for me to go clean.
    Tracey in Edmonton
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,303 Member
    I really need to start posting pics of what I'm eating! This morning I had French Toast Keto Egg Loaf with blueberries and whipped cream. Bulletproof coffee. All told about 545 calories and very filling and tasty too!

    RV Rita
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
    Tracey ~ What a wonderful poem your aunt left for you. I am sorry that you did not get the recipes that she had written down. Gloria was walking her dog after dark and was hit by a car. We found out about it from what her daughter had written on Gloria's Facebook page.

    You all have made me think so much about what to do when one of us passes. I cannot get my DH to come up with any burial plans or how to proceed with the necessary after-death procedures. I am clueless about how to handle things like taxes and real estate. I have always paid all the utilities but he has handled all the other things. I finally got him to come up with the name of the lawyer that we have used for a long time when needed. At least, I have made a spreadsheet with all our passwords, bank information, etc. Is there such a thing as someone to guide you once your spouse has passed?

    Carol in GA

  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,998 Member
    I would urge people to get their affairs in order. It can be a nightmare for family if you don’t. My DYD’s partner’s mother died suddenly 18 months ago with no will, and it still hasn’t been sorted out. It’s bad enough dealing with the grief without the added stress of dealing with an intestate estate. We did EPAs years ago when hubby’s parents did their‘s. and our girls know where everything is if they need to sort things. I update it as and when there are changes.

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