The Official MFP Love Match Thread for Totally Not Nude People

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  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Now then back to matters at - ahem! - hand...

    We have Ms. @tinkerhellraiser in need of beef. She needs someone who can slap the cuffs on her and read her the riot act.

    I know just the peace officer: @kinetixtrainer2!

    Lock her up!
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,158 Member
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    SwannySez wrote: »
    Now then back to matters at - ahem! - hand...

    We have Ms. @tinkerhellraiser in need of beef. She needs someone who can slap the cuffs on her and read her the riot act.

    I know just the peace officer: @kinetixtrainer2!

    Lock her up!

    You lost me at read. Some many other things to do.
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,158 Member
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    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do here? Do i dance? Swipe right? Are coconuts mandatory? When i was young we didn’t have to go through all this rigamarole to get our hearts broken. It was simpler back then.

    Coconuts are optional and also I would like to claim you as my mfp match, please and thank you.

    This would make a great worlds collide pic.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do here? Do i dance? Swipe right? Are coconuts mandatory? When i was young we didn’t have to go through all this rigamarole to get our hearts broken. It was simpler back then.

    Coconuts are optional and also I would like to claim you as my mfp match, please and thank you.

    If only you had been a bit quicker!

    Alas, I have someone for you, my little deadhead:

    @BlowPopKisses? Meet your MFP Love Match: @deadliftsandsprinkles!

    Now let’s see some girl on girl, shall we?
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,158 Member
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    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do here? Do i dance? Swipe right? Are coconuts mandatory? When i was young we didn’t have to go through all this rigamarole to get our hearts broken. It was simpler back then.

    Coconuts are optional and also I would like to claim you as my mfp match, please and thank you.

    This would make a great worlds collide pic.

    It's been my dream for months

    I suggest meeting in Nebraska. 😉😉
  • kinetixtrainer2
    kinetixtrainer2 Posts: 9,158 Member
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    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Now then back to matters at - ahem! - hand...

    We have Ms. @tinkerhellraiser in need of beef. She needs someone who can slap the cuffs on her and read her the riot act.

    I know just the peace officer: @kinetixtrainer2!

    Lock her up!

    wait i was here for an interview for the matchmaking position??

    Too late ma’am. I need you to step in here please.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Now then back to matters at - ahem! - hand...

    We have Ms. @tinkerhellraiser in need of beef. She needs someone who can slap the cuffs on her and read her the riot act.

    I know just the peace officer: @kinetixtrainer2!

    Lock her up!

    wait i was here for an interview for the matchmaking position??

    He’s really flexible. He can do pretty much ANY position.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do here? Do i dance? Swipe right? Are coconuts mandatory? When i was young we didn’t have to go through all this rigamarole to get our hearts broken. It was simpler back then.

    Coconuts are optional and also I would like to claim you as my mfp match, please and thank you.

    If only you had been a bit quicker!

    Alas, I have someone for you, my little deadhead:

    @BlowPopKisses? Meet your MFP Love Match: @deadliftsandsprinkles!

    Now let’s see some girl on girl, shall we?

    Time for the charm bomb to explode

    Awwwwww sookie sookie.
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
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    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do here? Do i dance? Swipe right? Are coconuts mandatory? When i was young we didn’t have to go through all this rigamarole to get our hearts broken. It was simpler back then.

    Coconuts are optional and also I would like to claim you as my mfp match, please and thank you.

    If only you had been a bit quicker!

    Alas, I have someone for you, my little deadhead:

    @BlowPopKisses? Meet your MFP Love Match: @deadliftsandsprinkles!

    Now let’s see some girl on girl, shall we?

    Time for the charm bomb to explode

    I read that in Tina's voice lol.
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
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    kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »
    Tankiscool wrote: »
    kindalikevelma wrote: »
    CookingWithCumin wrote: »
    kindalikevelma wrote: »
    standenvernet wrote: »
    kindalikevelma wrote: »
    CookingWithCumin wrote: »
    kindalikevelma wrote: »
    leut_underpants wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    leut_underpants wrote: »
    Yeesh, I leave and suddenly MFP has tiny life once more.


    Okay @SwannySez I'm ready for love. Do your worst.

    I prefer my match to be a capable companion at well-dressed events, to be terminally teased and never progress from a state of constant, torturous, gleeful mental foreplay. In short, we will be a romantic comedy - everyone fulfilled and happy, but without any sex, because the story is about love and those things are mutually exclusive.

    Who do you have for me?

    My worst? Oh ye of little faith!

    This has taken a lot of thought but I believe that this will make both of you better:

    @leut_underpants your match is @alywei3773. To have and to hold from this day forth. In cyber and in life. On MFP and not.

    I pronounce you an MFP Love Match!

    Wait, wut?

    @kindalikevelma what do we do here? There's an impending packet collision on my network.


    Looks like a merge conflict to me.

    You’re going to have to resolve it Leut.

    Both of you just get LinkedIn now

    No, because then my other LinkedIn boyfriend will know.

    I will not...

    ...hey!

    Mauricio, is that you?

    If it is, your presentation tomorrow is gonna be awkward

    Good luck, knock em dead!

    I’ll just picture them all as @kinetixtrainer2 wearing underwear. Should be easy as there’s so much photographic evidence here on MFP.

    Mentioning the po po! Now why you gotta go and do that?! Thought it be safe here!

    Pigs need love too man. Dang !

    Aright officer you cool. But I swear a skunk just walked through here!
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
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    This could make a play for most popular thread. It's hit the ground running.
  • RhiAnLewis17
    RhiAnLewis17 Posts: 2,299 Member
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    CookingWithCumin wrote: »
    RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »
    This could make a play for most popular thread. It's hit the ground running.

    Really)

    You're missing a bracket
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
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    leut_underpants wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    If Corporal Pantyhose ever gets divorced I'll ask him to a rated G movie but he'll have to buy me a hot dog and a Mountain Dew and dress casually.

    If that Policeman that everyone creams after ever gets a divorce I'll send him friendly PMs with lots of subtle innuendo and pictures of me from 25 years ago telling him they're from 2019.

    If that cumin cook ever gets a respectable job I'll get a facelift and liposuction and pretend to like his friends.

    If that computer guy from Dixieland every buys a trailer I'll rent a room from him and do his laundry and cooking at no charge and not ask him to get his tattoos lasered off even.

    Of course Bojack can have me anytime but he'll have to pick up the Uber tab for my drive to NY and promise not to argue with me about religion. We can instead discuss cuisine, fashion, the 80s and our favorite movie stars.

    Do you always set up scenarios in which men are obligated to buy you things for your company, or am I special?

    I said I'm asking you to the movie and paying for the tickets since I invited you which is more expensive than a hot dog so stop being so snotty.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
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    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    If Corporal Pantyhose ever gets divorced I'll ask him to a rated G movie but he'll have to buy me a hot dog and a Mountain Dew and dress casually.

    If that Policeman that everyone creams after ever gets a divorce I'll send him friendly PMs with lots of subtle innuendo and pictures of me from 25 years ago telling him they're from 2019.

    If that cumin cook ever gets a respectable job I'll get a facelift and liposuction and pretend to like his friends.

    If that computer guy from Dixieland every buys a trailer I'll rent a room from him and do his laundry and cooking at no charge and not ask him to get his tattoos lasered off even.

    Of course Bojack can have me anytime but he'll have to pick up the Uber tab for my drive to NY and promise not to argue with me about religion. We can instead discuss cuisine, fashion, the 80s and our favorite movie stars.

    i know who all these people are except computer guy

    Yes, you know the computer guy.

  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,557 Member
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    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    @tinkerhellraiser and @kace_kay could be friendly <3

    Hold on a sec I have a proposition for you two

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