Why do you think you are single?
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TheChristianSimone wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »Hmm I am not the socially acceptable black woman or feminine body and so I am not seen as a lady who is deserving of a quality man so I have just accepted that until either I lose all my excess weight I will stay single as I have standards and don’t enjoy embarrassing myself or wasting my life with undesirables.
Can I ask what "the socially acceptable black woman" is? I wasn't aware there was a standard777Gemma888 wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »Hmm I am not the socially acceptable black woman or feminine body and so I am not seen as a lady who is deserving of a quality man so I have just accepted that until either I lose all my excess weight I will stay single as I have standards and don’t enjoy embarrassing myself or wasting my life with undesirables.
Are you referring to macro vs micro factors of being a socially accepted black woman in relation to "being single " outside your current physique parameters, or something else?
So the socially acceptable black woman is kinda like what is considered feminine of other races lighter skin, more hourglass figure, petite, soft etc. I am none of those things. I am dark, tend to build muscle vs being curvy and have been told I am scary because I won't accept just any old build a bear type of dude. In my experiences, in the past, I was never good enough to be seen out with but the oh let's hang back and do something isolated. As I have gotten older nearing 35 which for me is a big thing for a lot of reasons, I just find when I have attempted to date it's all about sex from non-black and then for black it's as though I need to audition or show my financial statements to verify my worth. I go out of my way to dress extremely feminine and try to keep my intellect and keep traits that are more masculine in check such as strength and ambition because those things have disqualified me with men. I have had a few when I told them I could bench press 150 and leg press 450 they became intimidated.
I know I'm pretty I oogle over my self often, I do things to try to make myself a better quality person but I also know the realities of this world. I have a preference but unfortunately, that doesn't like me. So until I get more weight off then I will remain single. It sucks when I want to share things but maybe next lifetime I will come in a different form and know what love is.
Im not sure where you are from, but where i grew up in NY your description of a socially acceptable black woman is not the case at all. It was actually more desirable for women of color, meaning black and Latina to be thicker. Sure there were all shapes and sizes, but it was often joked on in a racial way if a girl had that "skinny *kitten* white girl body." As i got older and wiser i learned all types can be beautiful. It took me years to even look at a less thick woman as attractive.
I'm in Texas and yea maybe it's Dallas but I'm just not what's hot. But I am hot fire flames maybe one day someoen with good sense will see. I will say when I was in Alabama for work I was treated like royalty but it's an area I'm scared of due to the race you just never know.
Do you mean that your body shape isn't "hot" according to Dallas, Texas beauty standards?
If you could have your ideal body shape now, what does that look like, since thankfully, you like your own face?
The men you're referring to are across all racial lines, and are from Dallas or a specific racial group in Dallas?
In my mind, the model of the benchmark socially acceptable black woman is Michelle Obama ... Another would be Oprah Winfrey ... Even Angela Bassett has a regality to her countenance and deportment. Two of the three are weightlifters. All three are beautiful.
For Dallas especially it's really the barbie type of all races or very thin type with boobs.
Other areas I have traveled through I may get a look but nothing of substance. No exchange. See I that ideal of Michelle/Oprah are not the norm. Michelle yes because she is thin and Angela Bassett she is a unicorn of sorts. But color is also a thing to.
For me unless I was going to buy a body I will be very built like maybe Serna Williams type. I wish I had screenshots of what I have encountered. It's not at all cute but it teaches me to value self and push.
My immediate thought @Dallas and Barbie like women of all races are Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. The TV series on CMT where they'd reiterated to several auditioning women that they would need to drop weight to 115 lbs and that the uniform is one size, not customized. For a normal woman, achieving this feat would be a tall order Simone, I see your mental vehemence processing the Dallas high bar.
They may not be "the norms" however, they are the REAL benchmarks for what would and should be the qualifiers of what are black socially acceptable women. Everyone else are bougie or fakes.
Serena Williams? Girl, are you serious? Hit the gym and slay your CICO. Serena is hot. I know for a FACT a lot of my Marines buddies think so too.1 -
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TheChristianSimone wrote: »mattig89ch wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »Hmm I am not the socially acceptable black woman or feminine body and so I am not seen as a lady who is deserving of a quality man so I have just accepted that until either I lose all my excess weight I will stay single as I have standards and don’t enjoy embarrassing myself or wasting my life with undesirables.
Can I ask what "the socially acceptable black woman" is? I wasn't aware there was a standard777Gemma888 wrote: »TheChristianSimone wrote: »Hmm I am not the socially acceptable black woman or feminine body and so I am not seen as a lady who is deserving of a quality man so I have just accepted that until either I lose all my excess weight I will stay single as I have standards and don’t enjoy embarrassing myself or wasting my life with undesirables.
Are you referring to macro vs micro factors of being a socially accepted black woman in relation to "being single " outside your current physique parameters, or something else?
So the socially acceptable black woman is kinda like what is considered feminine of other races lighter skin, more hourglass figure, petite, soft etc. I am none of those things. I am dark, tend to build muscle vs being curvy and have been told I am scary because I won't accept just any old build a bear type of dude. In my experiences, in the past, I was never good enough to be seen out with but the oh let's hang back and do something isolated. As I have gotten older nearing 35 which for me is a big thing for a lot of reasons, I just find when I have attempted to date it's all about sex from non-black and then for black it's as though I need to audition or show my financial statements to verify my worth. I go out of my way to dress extremely feminine and try to keep my intellect and keep traits that are more masculine in check such as strength and ambition because those things have disqualified me with men. I have had a few when I told them I could bench press 150 and leg press 450 they became intimidated.
I know I'm pretty I oogle over my self often, I do things to try to make myself a better quality person but I also know the realities of this world. I have a preference but unfortunately, that doesn't like me. So until I get more weight off then I will remain single. It sucks when I want to share things but maybe next lifetime I will come in a different form and know what love is.
Im not sure where you are from, but where i grew up in NY your description of a socially acceptable black woman is not the case at all. It was actually more desirable for women of color, meaning black and Latina to be thicker. Sure there were all shapes and sizes, but it was often joked on in a racial way if a girl had that "skinny *kitten* white girl body." As i got older and wiser i learned all types can be beautiful. It took me years to even look at a less thick woman as attractive.
I was about to say something similar to this. It seems like the skinnier women of color, around me, are the ones being taken. Not the thinner ones. Though I'm not sure if that's because that's more desirable, or if that's who's available.
Tbh, I never understood why men were intimidated by women who could lift more then them. Unless those women where physically dominating them, I would def understand why they'd be intimidated then.2 -
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KosmosKitten wrote: »I'm not, but everyone seems to think I am? Wasn't aware I gave off a "vibe".
Same but I don't talk about my personal relationships on here because it's no ones business but mines 😁0 -
Because I’m old and scary. 😜3
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I ran over a small animal on a balmy night back in 1997
I'm undeserving of anyone's love
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I also think I have too many pastels in my wardrobe1
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Potentially 3. If the type is guys who still have baggage from a previous relationship but hide it from everyone, including themselves, until it all comes to a head and they realize it.0
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The_Usual_Suspects wrote: »Potentially 3. If the type is guys who still have baggage from a previous relationship but hide it from everyone, including themselves, until it all comes to a head and they realize it.
Let's make our first date to Goodwill. I have some shyte to drop off. Afterwards we can go thrifting.
Haha very smooth. I'm not a very good thrifter sadly...0 -
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2 & 30
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The_Usual_Suspects wrote: »The_Usual_Suspects wrote: »Potentially 3. If the type is guys who still have baggage from a previous relationship but hide it from everyone, including themselves, until it all comes to a head and they realize it.
Let's make our first date to Goodwill. I have some shyte to drop off. Afterwards we can go thrifting.
Haha very smooth. I'm not a very good thrifter sadly...
It's okay my little tenderoni. My heart still aches a bit from my last break up. Soon, though, I will be ready to start cupcaking with a sweet new someone..
Lol at least you know you still have baggage. So it's a step in the right direction for me 😂😂😂0 -
2,4,6,7 here0
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I'm a MGTOW.😏2
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GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm a MGTOW.😏
I don't even know what that means... And I'm not sure I even what to know haha0 -
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The_Usual_Suspects wrote: »GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm a MGTOW.😏
Oh no 🤦🏻♂️. The male equivalent of toxic feminism. Don't go down that rabbit hole, my friend. There's nothing there.
I still wasn't sure what that meant until this. Thank you haha.
Well maybe I still have some questions but I think I have the basics down haha0 -
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It can start a sh*tstorm if you question mgtow, so just don'tThe_Usual_Suspects wrote: »GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm a MGTOW.😏
Oh no 🤦🏻♂️. The male equivalent of toxic feminism. Don't go down that rabbit hole, my friend. There's nothing there.
I still wasn't sure what that meant until this. Thank you haha.
Well maybe I still have some questions but I think I have the basics down haha
I think it can be profitable, and productive, but the reasons why one would choose to go mgtow are often complex. A lot of women also agree with it.
I'm just assuming this either means a guy who sleeps around or an incel lol0 -
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Nah not incel, voluntary celibate. It's older guys who tend to do mgtow, and I don't really know the ins and outs of it myself.
It can start a sh*tstorm if you question mgtow, so just don'tThe_Usual_Suspects wrote: »GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm a MGTOW.😏
Oh no 🤦🏻♂️. The male equivalent of toxic feminism. Don't go down that rabbit hole, my friend. There's nothing there.
I still wasn't sure what that meant until this. Thank you haha.
Well maybe I still have some questions but I think I have the basics down haha I think it can be profitable, and productive, but the reasons why one would choose to go mgtow are often complex. A lot of women also agree with it.
I'm just assuming this either means a guy who sleeps around or an incel lol
Probably not worth knowing the ins and outs anyways haha1 -
I quote too much ice-t and eazy e and it gets me nowhere
I should sprinkle in some kool moe dee1 -
All my cutlery comes from the dollar store and these women can tell
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Nah not incel, voluntary celibate. It's older guys who tend to do mgtow, and I don't really know the ins and outs of it myself.
It can start a sh*tstorm if you question mgtow, so just don'tThe_Usual_Suspects wrote: »GoJohnGo71 wrote: »I'm a MGTOW.😏
Oh no 🤦🏻♂️. The male equivalent of toxic feminism. Don't go down that rabbit hole, my friend. There's nothing there.
I still wasn't sure what that meant until this. Thank you haha.
Well maybe I still have some questions but I think I have the basics down haha I think it can be profitable, and productive, but the reasons why one would choose to go mgtow are often complex. A lot of women also agree with it.
I'm just assuming this either means a guy who sleeps around or an incel lol
Omg. There’s this guy on YT who is both an a** and hilarious (sometimes) who I learned about mgtow from. I’ve never seen or heard anyone ever talk about it before.0 -
I'd never be with anyone that would have me for a partner...
(and I'm changing my user name to MGTOW (thanx MelG^^^)2
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