how to not hate exercise?
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I hate to be like this but I really get the feeling that if you went into the mfp exercise database and started with the A’s and worked your way to the Z’s every single exercise listed would be something that wouldn’t work because it’s not hard enough, or it’s too hard, too expensive, not convenient (time or location ), too many people, not enough people, the walls are the wrong color, smells funny, you don’t like it, or any other possible reason you haven’t mentioned yet.
I have a feeling a hiking trail could be at your back door but you couldn’t do that because _____ (fill in all that apply from above).
That doesn’t mean those reasons aren’t possible barriers for certain activities.
What it means is that nothing is perfect. If you want to be healthy/fit/strong then you have to pick the least imperfect activity and just do it.
Pick SOMETHING-anything. Do it at a level that is appropriate for your current fitness level (believe me-you can run a whole lot slower than 11-12 minute miles).
But you have to either do something or accept that you’re doing nothing by choice. And doing nothing is perfectly ok. But understand it is your choice to be doing so.
I really hate to be like that but we’re on page 4 and I’ve yet to see a single “I guess I could actually try that and see how it goes” as a response to a multitude of possible options. Just an ever growing list of reasons why it won’t work (which it very true if you are committed to all those reasons).
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Reward yourself when you go to the gym. Five trips = a manicure, or whatever your thing is. Can you move a large fan in front of your elliptical trainer or bicycle so you don't experience the "sweaty" feeling as strongly? My gym's equipment has screens on nearly every treadmilll, etc, so that's where I watch Netflix shows--and only there.0
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Duck_Puddle wrote: »I hate to be like this but I really get the feeling that if you went into the mfp exercise database and started with the A’s and worked your way to the Z’s every single exercise listed would be something that wouldn’t work because it’s not hard enough, or it’s too hard, too expensive, not convenient (time or location ), too many people, not enough people, the walls are the wrong color, smells funny, you don’t like it, or any other possible reason you haven’t mentioned yet.
I have a feeling a hiking trail could be at your back door but you could those because _____ (fill in all that apply from above).
That doesn’t mean those reasons aren’t possible barriers for certain activities.
What it means is that nothing is perfect. If you want to be healthy/fit/strong then you have to pick the least imperfect activity and just do it.
Pick SOMETHING-anything. Do it at a level that is appropriate for your current fitness level (believe me-you can run a whole lot slower than 11-12 minute miles).
But you have to either do something or accept that you’re doing nothing by choice. And doing nothing is perfectly ok. But understand it is your choice to be doing so.
I really hate to be like that but we’re on page 4 and I’ve yet to see a single “I guess I could actually try that and see how it goes” as a response to a multitude of possible options. Just an ever growing list of reasons why it won’t work (which it very true if you are committed to all those reasons).
Then obviously you didn't read in enough detail since I said that I would try yoga and that I have been meaning to try an exercise class and I might get a mini trampoline if it doesn't make too much noise to annoy my neighbors. "Just do it" is a meaningless platitude and if it was that simple, obviously I would be doing it already.
Anyway just finished the bike, weights, lunges, and pushups (can't really do pushups properly but I tried). Will report back on my exhaustion level later.12 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »I hate to be like this but I really get the feeling that if you went into the mfp exercise database and started with the A’s and worked your way to the Z’s every single exercise listed would be something that wouldn’t work because it’s not hard enough, or it’s too hard, too expensive, not convenient (time or location ), too many people, not enough people, the walls are the wrong color, smells funny, you don’t like it, or any other possible reason you haven’t mentioned yet.
I have a feeling a hiking trail could be at your back door but you could those because _____ (fill in all that apply from above).
That doesn’t mean those reasons aren’t possible barriers for certain activities.
What it means is that nothing is perfect. If you want to be healthy/fit/strong then you have to pick the least imperfect activity and just do it.
Pick SOMETHING-anything. Do it at a level that is appropriate for your current fitness level (believe me-you can run a whole lot slower than 11-12 minute miles).
But you have to either do something or accept that you’re doing nothing by choice. And doing nothing is perfectly ok. But understand it is your choice to be doing so.
I really hate to be like that but we’re on page 4 and I’ve yet to see a single “I guess I could actually try that and see how it goes” as a response to a multitude of possible options. Just an ever growing list of reasons why it won’t work (which it very true if you are committed to all those reasons).
Then obviously you didn't read in enough detail since I said that I would try yoga and that I have been meaning to try an exercise class. "Just do it" is a meaningless platitude and if it was that simple, obviously I would be doing it already.
Anyway just finished the bike, weights, lunges, and pushups (can't really do pushups properly but I tried). Will report back on my exhaustion level later.
Go girl😊3 -
One more thought -- perhaps the key would be to rotate between different exercises. I could do exercise bike, yoga, trampoline, two different exercise classes, and running or speedwalking on the track in my town (I don't mind running in small doses as long as it's not on the treadmill or an unsafe area) plus weights and conditioning. I think that is enough exercises to prevent boredom. I could even add more. Then I could just walk two miles on the off days (I have been walking on most days but not always two miles because of the weather).I'm not crazy about flossing my teeth or doing laundry or bathing the dog. They're just things I do because they need to be done.
Didn't see this comment before but there is a difference. Flossing is not actively unpleasant (well maybe for some people, but it is a neutral activity for me) and takes much less time and energy than exercise. I actually enjoy doing the laundry but even on the days I don't feel like doing it, obviously there will be consequences of not having clean clothes. I've never bathed a dog but I'm pet-free and childfree by choice because I don't feel like dealing with all that. However I do also enjoy cleaning my apartment and that also has obvious results. But exercise is actively unpleasant and there are no immediately obvious consequences of not doing it or immediately obvious benefits to doing it.2 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »One more thought -- perhaps the key would be to rotate between different exercises. I could do exercise bike, yoga, trampoline, two different exercise classes, and running or speedwalking on the track in my town (I don't mind running in small doses as long as it's not on the treadmill or an unsafe area) plus weights and conditioning. I think that is enough exercises to prevent boredom. I could even add more.
Honestly I think you need to find a way to keep yourself engaged. That might mean rotating between different things. It could mean eventually finding a few things you really like (despite hating them at first), it might mean trying more things than you have listed. You said that you lived in New York City right? There are a ton of resources out there with regards to different types of activities. Sure it'll require taking the train (subway), but that shouldn't be a deterrent. I also think you should try to tune out your husband when he is being less than supportive and understanding.
Lastly, do try pilates classes. I personally really don't enjoy yoga (I like the idea...but in practice I don't enjoy it) but love pilates. I know a lot of people who have had similar experiences.3 -
Honestly I think you need to find a way to keep yourself engaged. That might mean rotating between different things. It could mean eventually finding a few things you really like (despite hating them at first), it might mean trying more things than you have listed. You said that you lived in New York City right? There are a ton of resources out there with regards to different types of activities. Sure it'll require taking the train (subway), but that shouldn't be a deterrent. I also think you should try to tune out your husband when he is being less than supportive and understanding.
Lastly, do try pilates classes. I personally really don't enjoy yoga (I like the idea...but in practice I don't enjoy it) but love pilates. I know a lot of people who have had similar experiences.
I live in the NYC area but not in NYC itself. If I did live in NYC there would be more options. Well maybe not as a gym membership is $90 a month there. I will see if my gym has pilates.
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I never liked exercise either, but once I started I LOVED feeling stronger , proving the doctors wrong, and being able to do things I never could before. That’s what keeps me going.2
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laurenq1991 wrote: »So I'm actually working out right now. I just did 20 minutes on the bike. Now I'm about to go do weights and conditioning. Here are some thoughts and observations.
*I actually am able to go a lot faster on the bike now than I was the first time I used it. Even though I didn't think I made any progress, I guess I did.
*It is still unpleasant and I am basically counting down the minutes until I'm done, but I think it's slightly less unpleasant than it was the first time. The news in the background makes it more tolerable. It's really when I do it every other day that it becomes more boring each time I do it. If I only do it a few times a month it's fine.
*I only feel motivated to work out when I feel disgusting enough about myself to do it. A recurring problem in my life is that I have no sense of internal motivation. I am only motivated by guilt, shame, and fear, and I was very successful in school for that reason. My parents, teachers, etc. never modeled internal motivation for me so I never learned how. I'm not sure how I would develop that at this time in my life.
*The only part of my body that I really hate due to being out of shape is my upper arms. I believe this is because my mom used to mock me when I was a kid for being out of shape and would particularly mock my arms (which is weird because it's not like a kid is going to go and lift weights....) I've actually hated my upper arms since the age of 9 or 10 for this reason. Even on my wedding pictures I feel grossed out by them because I just see how un-toned my upper arms look and how I should have worn a dress with long sleeves to hide them. Last summer I actually was doing weights 2 to 3 times a week and I did get some muscle tone, but it still wasn't visible unless I actually flexed my muscles (even now I still have some residual muscle tone left over from that time). I don't know if it would have become visible if I kept doing it or if I'm just one of those people where the muscle doesn't really show up that much (I know people like that who are very athletic but you wouldn't tell it by looking at them).
That was me starting out!
One thing that has helped me keep working at it is telling myself that feelings aren't facts. I didn't feel like exercising today. I still feel weak and sluggish and slow and incompetent. But by keeping track of my progress - how far I'm running, how fast my miles are, how much weight I'm lifting, how many reps I'm doing - I can see the progress I'm making even when it doesn't feel like I'm making progress.
Feelings are deceptive little kittens. Don't trust 'em.5 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »Honestly I think you need to find a way to keep yourself engaged. That might mean rotating between different things. It could mean eventually finding a few things you really like (despite hating them at first), it might mean trying more things than you have listed. You said that you lived in New York City right? There are a ton of resources out there with regards to different types of activities. Sure it'll require taking the train (subway), but that shouldn't be a deterrent. I also think you should try to tune out your husband when he is being less than supportive and understanding.
Lastly, do try pilates classes. I personally really don't enjoy yoga (I like the idea...but in practice I don't enjoy it) but love pilates. I know a lot of people who have had similar experiences.
I live in the NYC area but not in NYC itself. If I did live in NYC there would be more options. Well maybe not as a gym membership is $90 a month there. I will see if my gym has pilates.
Ah ok, that makes things a bit different as I'm assuming you'd have to take something like Metro North or the LIRR to get to the city. And yeah, I wasn't thinking more options in terms of gyms, rather in terms of individual activities.1 -
https://www.participaction.com/en-ca/programs/150-play-list
Download the list and try a few unusual activities to see if you find something enjoyable, or at least tolerable. Most of these are not specifically "Canadian", they could be done anywhere the requisites are available. It would be hard to do #40 - "Snow Fort Building" - in a desert, but #41 is "Building a Sandcastle".
(You might have to Google some if the name appeals to you - I have no idea what "Stick Pull", "Knuckle Hop" and "Grounders" are, for instance, among many others!)
It sounds like you think "exercise" ought to be a form of punishment and so you expect to dislike it, although I might be misunderstanding you. I hope you can find something you actually enjoy and that feels worthwhile to you.1 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »So I'm actually working out right now. I just did 20 minutes on the bike. Now I'm about to go do weights and conditioning. Here are some thoughts and observations.
*I actually am able to go a lot faster on the bike now than I was the first time I used it. Even though I didn't think I made any progress, I guess I did.
*It is still unpleasant and I am basically counting down the minutes until I'm done, but I think it's slightly less unpleasant than it was the first time. The news in the background makes it more tolerable. It's really when I do it every other day that it becomes more boring each time I do it. If I only do it a few times a month it's fine.
*I only feel motivated to work out when I feel disgusting enough about myself to do it. A recurring problem in my life is that I have no sense of internal motivation. I am only motivated by guilt, shame, and fear, and I was very successful in school for that reason. My parents, teachers, etc. never modeled internal motivation for me so I never learned how. I'm not sure how I would develop that at this time in my life.
*The only part of my body that I really hate due to being out of shape is my upper arms. I believe this is because my mom used to mock me when I was a kid for being out of shape and would particularly mock my arms (which is weird because it's not like a kid is going to go and lift weights....) I've actually hated my upper arms since the age of 9 or 10 for this reason. Even on my wedding pictures I feel grossed out by them because I just see how un-toned my upper arms look and how I should have worn a dress with long sleeves to hide them. Last summer I actually was doing weights 2 to 3 times a week and I did get some muscle tone, but it still wasn't visible unless I actually flexed my muscles (even now I still have some residual muscle tone left over from that time). I don't know if it would have become visible if I kept doing it or if I'm just one of those people where the muscle doesn't really show up that much (I know people like that who are very athletic but you wouldn't tell it by looking at them).
That's progress!
Yay!!
Keep making progress, and you've got this nailed.
It gets better, it gets easier, it gets more enjoyable as you get used to it, and almost before you know it, you're a whole different (maybe improbable to current you) person.
That's all it takes.
Keep going! :flowerforyou:4 -
I'm really not sure why you have posted this request for ideas. You've been given so many ideas and you've shot them all down.
A little about me. I love, *kitten* love hiking. I have a goal to hike the PCT next year. I live about 30 minutes from the mountains. I don't care about the drive. I am still 40 pounds overweight and carry a backpack that can be ©25 pounds. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hike many miles up and down mountains, at elevation, with sometimes an extra 65 pounds? Very, very difficult. I also smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day for over 20 years. Hiking up and down mountains, at elevation, with 65 extra pounds, and less than perfect lungs is *kitten* hard. I don't care. I still do it. I want to be healthy and I want to hike. Did I mention that I am 50 years old?
So yeah, I don't have a lot in common with you. I take my adversity and say screw you and do it anyways. You could do that to, with any exercise. Or you can make excuses.
I truly hope you just pick one exercise and do it.
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That's progress!
Yay!!
Keep making progress, and you've got this nailed.
It gets better, it gets easier, it gets more enjoyable as you get used to it, and almost before you know it, you're a whole different (maybe improbable to current you) person.
That's all it takes.
Keep going! :flowerforyou:
Thanks!
I think varying the exercises is definitely the way to go.lalalacroix wrote: »I'm really not sure why you have posted this request for ideas. You've been given so many ideas and you've shot them all down.
A little about me. I love, *kitten* love hiking. I have a goal to hike the PCT next year. I live about 30 minutes from the mountains. I don't care about the drive. I am still 40 pounds overweight and carry a backpack that can be ©25 pounds. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hike many miles up and down mountains, at elevation, with sometimes an extra 65 pounds? Very, very difficult. I also smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day for over 20 years. Hiking up and down mountains, at elevation, with 65 extra pounds, and less than perfect lungs is *kitten* hard. I don't care. I still do it. I want to be healthy and I want to hike. Did I mention that I am 50 years old?
So yeah, I don't have a lot in common with you. I take my adversity and say screw you and do it anyways. You could do that to, with any exercise. Or you can make excuses.
I truly hope you just pick one exercise and do it.
I said multiple times that I would look into several of the ideas (yoga, trampoline, Pilates, exercise classes) so clearly I did not shoot down *all* of them. This discussion has also helped me think of ways I could enjoy exercise, like varying types of exercise, some more exercises I could do with the limitations I have, and some reasons why I can't get into exercise consistently.
Good for you. Do you want a medal or something? If your pack is 65 pounds you are carrying way too much stuff -- never heard of a thru-hiker carrying anywhere near that much weight. I have done those type of hikes before also in Costa Rica although I wasn't foolish enough to carry 65 pounds. Not sure what the point was of you posting here besides to talk about how much better you are than me.
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clicketykeys wrote: »That was me starting out!
One thing that has helped me keep working at it is telling myself that feelings aren't facts. I didn't feel like exercising today. I still feel weak and sluggish and slow and incompetent. But by keeping track of my progress - how far I'm running, how fast my miles are, how much weight I'm lifting, how many reps I'm doing - I can see the progress I'm making even when it doesn't feel like I'm making progress.
Feelings are deceptive little kittens. Don't trust 'em.
Yeah but then I get into the existential thing of "does it really matter if I biked faster today or lifted more weights?" I guess part of the problem is that I don't really see value in myself that much so subconsciously I think there's no point to improving myself.https://www.participaction.com/en-ca/programs/150-play-list
Download the list and try a few unusual activities to see if you find something enjoyable, or at least tolerable. Most of these are not specifically "Canadian", they could be done anywhere the requisites are available. It would be hard to do #40 - "Snow Fort Building" - in a desert, but #41 is "Building a Sandcastle".
(You might have to Google some if the name appeals to you - I have no idea what "Stick Pull", "Knuckle Hop" and "Grounders" are, for instance, among many others!)
It sounds like you think "exercise" ought to be a form of punishment and so you expect to dislike it, although I might be misunderstanding you. I hope you can find something you actually enjoy and that feels worthwhile to you.
Thanks for the interesting idea! I don't think it should be a form of punishment -- quite the opposite, I see people enjoying exercise and want to figure out how I can enjoy it too, because I will never do it regularly if it feels like a punishment.
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laurenq1991 wrote: »That's progress!
Yay!!
Keep making progress, and you've got this nailed.
It gets better, it gets easier, it gets more enjoyable as you get used to it, and almost before you know it, you're a whole different (maybe improbable to current you) person.
That's all it takes.
Keep going! :flowerforyou:
Thanks!
I think varying the exercises is definitely the way to go.lalalacroix wrote: »I'm really not sure why you have posted this request for ideas. You've been given so many ideas and you've shot them all down.
A little about me. I love, *kitten* love hiking. I have a goal to hike the PCT next year. I live about 30 minutes from the mountains. I don't care about the drive. I am still 40 pounds overweight and carry a backpack that can be ©25 pounds. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hike many miles up and down mountains, at elevation, with sometimes an extra 65 pounds? Very, very difficult. I also smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day for over 20 years. Hiking up and down mountains, at elevation, with 65 extra pounds, and less than perfect lungs is *kitten* hard. I don't care. I still do it. I want to be healthy and I want to hike. Did I mention that I am 50 years old?
So yeah, I don't have a lot in common with you. I take my adversity and say screw you and do it anyways. You could do that to, with any exercise. Or you can make excuses.
I truly hope you just pick one exercise and do it.
I said multiple times that I would look into several of the ideas (yoga, trampoline, Pilates, exercise classes) so clearly I did not shoot down *all* of them. This discussion has also helped me think of ways I could enjoy exercise, like varying types of exercise, some more exercises I could do with the limitations I have, and some reasons why I can't get into exercise consistently.
Good for you. Do you want a medal or something? If your pack is 65 pounds you are carrying way too much stuff -- never heard of a thru-hiker carrying anywhere near that much weight. I have done those type of hikes before also in Costa Rica although I wasn't foolish enough to carry 65 pounds. Not sure what the point was of you posting here besides to talk about how much better you are than me.
I'm not better than you or anyone else. My point was that many of us have challenges. You can either make excuses or do things that very well may improve your life. And if you really are going to try some exercises then awesome!
And the 65 pounds is my extra body weight plus sometimes pack weight. To be more clear: 40 pounds overweight + 25 pound pack weight = 65.
You woo'd my response? That's silly.8 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »clicketykeys wrote: »That was me starting out!
One thing that has helped me keep working at it is telling myself that feelings aren't facts. I didn't feel like exercising today. I still feel weak and sluggish and slow and incompetent. But by keeping track of my progress - how far I'm running, how fast my miles are, how much weight I'm lifting, how many reps I'm doing - I can see the progress I'm making even when it doesn't feel like I'm making progress.
Feelings are deceptive little kittens. Don't trust 'em.
Yeah but then I get into the existential thing of "does it really matter if I biked faster today or lifted more weights?" I guess part of the problem is that I don't really see value in myself that much so subconsciously I think there's no point to improving myself.
A way around this, short of seeing value yourself (which will likely take far longer than meeting various physical goals), would be setting a fitness based goal for yourself because you want to be able to do whatever that goal is. So for instance, I didn't set a goal of being able to run 5k because I consciously find intrinsic value in myself, I set the goal because I thought it was cool, it's useful to be able to run, and for most of my life I was told that I wouldn't be able to run any appreciable distance (so anything more than to catch a bus).
In reality I didn't (and still don't) derive a whole lot of pleasure from running, especially compared to swimming, cycling, and rowing, but I did care about the goal. Right now one of my goals is to improve my cardiovascular fitness. That's actually separate from my weight loss goal (which I know you don't have) and has nothing to do with my (lack of) self worth. It's because I know I will be a stronger cyclist and "faster" on the erg if I have better cardiovascular fitness (cardio isn't my primary limiter on the water, technique is).
In short, think about the skill outside of/seperate from thinking about yourself.
I do think you need to work on the mental health piece, but that's a different discussion.6 -
It doesn’t seem that exercise specifically is the problem.laurenq1991 wrote: »
Approaching life positively makes all the difference.
If you think something’s going to be really hard, it usually is.
Also gratitude counts for a lot.
Almost any person permanently in a wheelchair would give anything to be able to walk for 5 mins a day.
11 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »
*I only feel motivated to work out when I feel disgusting enough about myself to do it. A recurring problem in my life is that I have no sense of internal motivation. I am only motivated by guilt, shame, and fear, and I was very successful in school for that reason. My parents, teachers, etc. never modeled internal motivation for me so I never learned how. I'm not sure how I would develop that at this time in my life.
*The only part of my body that I really hate due to being out of shape is my upper arms. I believe this is because my mom used to mock me when I was a kid for being out of shape and would particularly mock my arms (which is weird because it's not like a kid is going to go and lift weights....) I've actually hated my upper arms since the age of 9 or 10 for this reason. Even on my wedding pictures I feel grossed out by them because I just see how un-toned my upper arms look and how I should have worn a dress with long sleeves to hide them. Last summer I actually was doing weights 2 to 3 times a week and I did get some muscle tone, but it still wasn't visible unless I actually flexed my muscles (even now I still have some residual muscle tone left over from that time). I don't know if it would have become visible if I kept doing it or if I'm just one of those people where the muscle doesn't really show up that much (I know people like that who are very athletic but you wouldn't tell it by looking at them).
I am sorry you were let down like this. Sometimes I don't think people appreciate how much it can affect your brain not to have positive feedback and role models for exercise and being active. Doesn't need to be depression or bi-polar (that bit you wrote about your past doctor was horrible, yikes) or anything diagnosable to just make everything feel like a struggle when it shouldn't be.
I'm glad that by the time I got to the end of the thread you're not feeling as negative. I think you should be proud of yourself for trying so hard when the benefits don't seem as tangible for you as they are for others.3 -
Very well said.laurenq1991 wrote: »
*I only feel motivated to work out when I feel disgusting enough about myself to do it. A recurring problem in my life is that I have no sense of internal motivation. I am only motivated by guilt, shame, and fear, and I was very successful in school for that reason. My parents, teachers, etc. never modeled internal motivation for me so I never learned how. I'm not sure how I would develop that at this time in my life.
*The only part of my body that I really hate due to being out of shape is my upper arms. I believe this is because my mom used to mock me when I was a kid for being out of shape and would particularly mock my arms (which is weird because it's not like a kid is going to go and lift weights....) I've actually hated my upper arms since the age of 9 or 10 for this reason. Even on my wedding pictures I feel grossed out by them because I just see how un-toned my upper arms look and how I should have worn a dress with long sleeves to hide them. Last summer I actually was doing weights 2 to 3 times a week and I did get some muscle tone, but it still wasn't visible unless I actually flexed my muscles (even now I still have some residual muscle tone left over from that time). I don't know if it would have become visible if I kept doing it or if I'm just one of those people where the muscle doesn't really show up that much (I know people like that who are very athletic but you wouldn't tell it by looking at them).
I am sorry you were let down like this. Sometimes I don't think people appreciate how much it can affect your brain not to have positive feedback and role models for exercise and being active. Doesn't need to be depression or bi-polar (that bit you wrote about your past doctor was horrible, yikes) or anything diagnosable to just make everything feel like a struggle when it shouldn't be.
I'm glad that by the time I got to the end of the thread you're not feeling as negative. I think you should be proud of yourself for trying so hard when the benefits don't seem as tangible for you as they are for others.
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