how to not hate exercise?

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Replies

  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    laurenq1991 wrote: »
    whathapnd wrote: »
    My previous post was long, so I wanted to loop back and hilight the suggestion to see an experienced and reputable acupuncturist. This was literally a game-changer for me on many levels: sleep, mood, energy level. (And that's not what I went to see him for.) He diagnosed me with low kidney yang.

    It's been a few years since I've seen him, and I've noticed lately some of my symptoms are back, so I'll be calling him this week.

    One of my friends swears by acupuncture. It is pretty expensive though which is the main reason I've never done it.
    jgnatca wrote: »
    - Get a lung capacity test done. Rule out any potential underlying health condition. It may be that aerobic activity really was killing you.

    I didn't even know this was a thing. Thanks.
    ellyseb1 wrote: »
    You need a "why". Why do you even want to like exercise? You say you don't need to lose weight. What's your motivation? If you do it just because your husband wants you to, or because you think you have to, I don't think you will ever not hate it.

    The main reason doesn't have to do with my husband, but rather because I'm a hypochondriac and want to reduce the risk of disease. Diabetes runs in my family, my family members have aged badly, and I have kind of crappy genetics in general.
    rheddmobile wrote: »
    I read the original post to my husband, and he said that it sounds like one of your true motivations is earning your husband's respect, and the easiest way to do that is to take up running. He also mentioned something that others haven't really addressed, probably because most of us have been fighting our weights, unlike you. That is, if you were losing your period when running and feel terrible all the time when working out, you are most likely not fueling your workouts correctly. Eat more when you work out - eat enough carbs before working out to fuel your workouts, enough high quality protein afterwards to repair your muscles, and enough fat in general to feel good and not lose your period.

    Not sure you're wanting to take up running again, with all the traumatic memories, but maybe asking your husband to work out with you would make it more pleasant and stop him thinking you're lazy. And eating better never hurt anyone.

    I do eat a lot for my first meal of the day and eat a good balance of nutrients. I think losing my period in high school had more to do with the overall stress, which track played a major part in. At the time I was getting up at 5:30 AM; commuting over three hours a day round-trip to and from school; doing intense track workouts for about two hours a day when I had never been doing strenuous regular exercise before in my life (and some of these workouts required traveling to other parts of the city that made my commute even longer); doing a very academically rigorous courseload with hours of homework per night (I went to one of the top rated public gifted high schools in the country); and only sleeping 5-6 hours a night because I literally didn't have time to sleep more than that. Even on the weekends I had to commute up to four hours round-trip to go to track meets. Back then I didn't know much about nutrition so I didn't eat as healthy as I do now, although I did eat enough calories since my weight stayed the same. I do think I probably got a good balance of macros and I did usually have a protein bar after track practice, but I also had a lot of refined sugar and white flour.

    This was a very unhealthy lifestyle which had obvious detrimental and dangerous effects on my physical and mental health, but I had no choice (my mom would have kicked me out homeless on the street if I didn't live up to her academic expectations and track was an extracurricular for college). No authority figures cared unless it caused them a liability, at which point they yelled at and blamed me. This is really where the root of my general problems came from, because I pretty much spent all my energy and internal resources getting through high school and college and immediately after I burned out and never really had any success in life since. I used to be able to work from the time I got up to the time I went to bed and now I hardly have the energy or motivation to do anything. For this reason I don't know if my aversion to exercise is necessarily due to physical reasons, or because I have such negative associations with exercise that it causes psychosomatic illness symptoms.

    It does sound like you have larger problems than exercise. Not having the energy or motivation to do anything sounds like depression and / or a physical illness, which need to be addressed.

    My sympathy for your parental situation, seriously. Mine were just straight up physically abusive, and the damage pops up years later when you least expect it. The thing is, it's not your parents whose lives are getting screwed up now, it's yours, and it's on you to deal with it, because no one else is going to.
  • trayborn114442
    trayborn114442 Posts: 57 Member
    I am the same way. However, I did find my love for boxing a heavy bag. I only bought it for my husband but as soon as I put on the gloves, I’m loving it more than he is. I also downloaded Zombies, Run app. It is a story mode run app. You can also use it for the tread mill and elliptical.
  • mdreddie
    mdreddie Posts: 73 Member
    You can do calisthenics anywhere, even at home, which is a super bonus! And it does help you shed the pounds. Here's a cute beginner video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDY5-fNDG4

    For pull ups at home, I strongly suggest a wall mounted pull up bar: Yes4All Heavy Duty Wall Mounted Pull-Up at amazon.com

    For dips at home, I'd try the Amazon Basic Dips bar.

    And you can jog anytime around your neighborhood for extra cardio once or twice a week in the morning instead of the home workout or in addition to the home workout to vary things up a bit.

    Good luck!

    P.S. I love to share what works for me and hope it inspires others.
  • mdreddie
    mdreddie Posts: 73 Member
    I also suggest the GoFit aerobic floor mat for situps, bicycle ab crunches, or anything that puts you on your back. Getting the full finger beast mode gloves for pull ups couldn't hurt too. And both of these further allow you to get the most out of your workout with little to no discomfort. :)
  • laurenq1991
    laurenq1991 Posts: 384 Member
    edited February 2019
    savithny wrote: »
    What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
    You don't like other people's music.
    You don't like other drivers.
    You don't like dogs.
    You don't like changing your clothes.
    You don't like sweat.

    I believe that I have legitimate reasons for not liking these things.

    I don't think anyone likes having to listen to music they hate blasted at top volume with no way to escape it, especially when they are already doing something they're not a fan of. I love many kinds of music but generally not most pop music which is usually what is played. I don't know why businesses feel this need to force music on people. What's wrong with silence and letting people choose if they want to listen to something, and what to listen to?

    I don't like the drivers in my area because they literally try to run me over all the time. By state law drivers are supposed to yield to pedestrians. 95% of the time they don't -- not even for my disabled MIL who often walks with a cane. Even if you are literally in the act of crossing they try to play chicken and keep driving at you to get you to back up so they can save a few seconds. The only time I have seen them yield immediately is if a cop car was parked down the street, so clearly they know the law, they just choose not to follow it. I am not the only person who has noticed this about the drivers in my area. My husband and MIL agree with me and I have also seen it discussed on Facebook groups for my town.

    Same with the broken sidewalks BTW-- there was a huge debate about that one on a Facebook group (basically homeowners complaining they were "too poor" to fix the sidewalks when they live in a $500K+ house), and many people stated that either they or people they knew had gotten injured from tripping on the broken sidewalks, and that they had to walk in the (dangerous) street with baby carriages and so on. So again, it's not just me.

    I also don't like dogs for a reason. BTW it's not all dogs but only dogs that are big enough to kill me. Unfortunately I have had too many bad experiences with dogs trying to attack me -- including two in my own apartment building. I don't trust any dog that I don't know that is big enough to kill me. For this reason I don't want to run outside because if I were to run past a dog, it could trigger its chase instinct, and most of the time the owner is not strong enough to hold onto the leash if the dog really wants to make a run for it. The dogs plus the cars plus the broken sidewalks make running outside too hazardous in my opinion. Actually runners in my town also often run in the street due to the sidewalks. People may get offended by my stance on dogs but my MIL owns a pretty vicious parakeet and I guarantee people would complain if we, for example, released her into the hallways of our apartment building, and she only weighs five ounces and would not be able to kill anyone. Not everyone has to like dogs and a lot of people don't. If there was a dog-free town I would move there and it would not be a problem anymore, but unfortunately that does not exist.

    Another thing is that dog owners REALLY hate it if you dislike dogs and try to avoid them. I can't even tell you the amount of times I have crossed the street to avoid someone's dog and they proceeded to cross onto the same side as me on purpose. Sometimes I even cross back twice and then they cross again. The two owners of the dogs in my apartment building that barked and lunged at me also acted like it was my fault that their dog acted vicious and that I now avoid them. I didn't provoke them at all and in both cases I was literally just walking, not saying anything or looking at them and minding my own business.

    When did I say I don't like changing my clothes? I don't really like changing them at the gym because there aren't any private spaces to do it and I don't really feel like being semi-nude in front of strangers, but that's about it.

    A lot of people dislike the feeling of getting sweaty and some have even mentioned it in this thread. I have always been pretty sensitive to being uncomfortable in general, from the time I was a baby. Some people are just like that. For example I don't even wear jeans because they are too uncomfortable. I don't like feeling gross and itchy, not sure what the problem is with that.
  • laurenq1991
    laurenq1991 Posts: 384 Member
    edited February 2019
    rheddmobile wrote: »
    My sympathy for your parental situation, seriously. Mine were just straight up physically abusive, and the damage pops up years later when you least expect it. The thing is, it's not your parents whose lives are getting screwed up now, it's yours, and it's on you to deal with it, because no one else is going to.

    Oh there was tons of physical abuse from my mom too. My dad just let it happen and eventually abandoned us. She only stopped after CPS investigated her. Which she blamed us for.

    I am dealing with it. I have actually been making progress every year. MFP people may not think it's fast enough for their standards. But they also don't know how bad things were five years ago, or even two years ago.

  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,496 Member
    laurenq1991 wrote: »
    savithny wrote: »
    What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
    You don't like other people's music.
    You don't like other drivers.
    You don't like dogs.
    You don't like changing your clothes.
    You don't like sweat.

    I believe that I have legitimate reasons for not liking these things.

    I don't think anyone likes having to listen to music they hate blasted at top volume with no way to escape it, especially when they are already doing something they're not a fan of. I love many kinds of music but generally not most pop music which is usually what is played. I don't know why businesses feel this need to force music on people. What's wrong with silence and letting people choose if they want to listen to something, and what to listen to?

    I hate the *kitten* pop music played at my gym.

    Here is a solution to one of your issues, noise cancelling headphones $22.99:

    https://www.amazon.com/Bluetooth-Headphones-Earphones-Sweatproof-Cancelling/dp/B07N53L99D/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1550806374&sr=8-14&keywords=noise+cancelling+headphones+sport
  • Silentpadna
    Silentpadna Posts: 1,306 Member
    OP, outside of exercise, what are things that you like and why do you like them? What gives you passion?

    Is there anything you doubted early on, but changed your mind on over time and are now passionate about?

    Yep. These are leading questions.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited February 2019
    laurenq1991 wrote: »
    HeliumIsNoble wrote: »
    I empathise with so much of your posts, OP, especially the delayed sleep phase disorder. I agree that general sleeplessness is probably making your goals seem more insurmountable. I find exercise mitigates my sleeping issues to an extent.

    Some thoughts:

    1) it doesn't have to be full-pelt, sweat dripping down your face levels of activity to qualify as exercise and improve your health.

    2) any possibility your energy levels could be due to nutritional deficiencies? Have you already been able to discount that?

    3) Perhaps the kinds of activity you've tried so far just aren't right for you. To use running as an example, some people are more comfortable running short distances very fast, and other people like to go a bit more slowly for a lot longer. Neither is superior to the other.

    4) Arrange your hatreds in priority order and separate them into an Absolutely No Way list and a Can Possibly Begrudgingly Endure list. Then set up a new list called, What I Want My Form of Exercise To Have. If that doesn't give you ideas on what to try, posting your lists on MFP will get you overwhelmed with suggestions!

    Thanks for all the suggestions. The sleep problems definitely mess up my whole life. I can't have any routine because of it, since I never know when I will sleep or get up or how many hours I will sleep. My whole life would be different if I didn't have insomnia. Last night I couldn't sleep until 7 am. I got up at noon, the original goal was 9:30 but I knew I would be too tired to get anything done with under three hours sleep. I was also too tired to work out today since I had more important things to preserve my energy for, like work and cooking. It messes up my concentration and cognitive functioning too.

    I thought "vigorous exercise" is what the expert recommendations call for. That's why I want to do exercise besides walking.

    http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/HealthyLiving/PhysicalActivity/FitnessBasics/American-Heart-Association-Recommendations-for-Physical-Activityin-Adults_UCM_307976_Article.jsp#.XHAw5OhKiUk
    AHA Recommendation

    For Overall Cardiovascular Health:

    At least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity at least 5 days per week for a total of 150

    OR
    At least 25 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity at least 3 days per week for a total of 75 minutes; or a combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic activity

    AND
    Moderate- to high-intensity muscle-strengthening activity at least 2 days per week for additional health benefits.

    For Lowering Blood Pressure and Cholesterol
    An average 40 minutes of moderate- to vigorous-intensity aerobic activity 3 or 4 times per week

    This includes things like climbing stairs or playing sports. Aerobic exercises benefit your heart, and include walking, jogging, swimming or biking. Strength and stretching exercises are best for overall stamina and flexibility.

    The simplest, positive change you can make to effectively improve your heart health is to start walking. It's enjoyable, free, easy, social and great exercise. A walking program is flexible and boasts high success rates because people can stick with it. It's easy for walking to become a regular and satisfying part of life.

    From the experts...

    If you want to start engaging in exercise that is of higher intensity, I would suggest introducing it slowly. Fitness is something that is built over time and not something you can rush. But walking is just fine and is considered moderate exercise.
  • Chelle8070
    Chelle8070 Posts: 165 Member
    I eat differently day to day depending on what time I'm going to work out - and I try and have a protein bar or a banana or something semi dense but not overly filling 30-60 minutes before I work out... otherwise I can FEEL my weakness mid workout.

    800-1000 calories feels like a lot for a first meal, but I'm no professional. I think I stick in the 250-300 range for breakfast.

    And I like what Cheryldumais said and your response to her too - try your best to NOT compare yourself with others. You're only in competition with yourself. We're all wired differently <3
  • timeforwork
    timeforwork Posts: 114 Member
    Hi, lots of comments on here that are helpful and lots that are just critical. My view is the best thing you can do is firstly stop thinking of it as exersize with a view to get fit, instead make an aim to try as many different activities that challenge your body as possible and do as many as poss 2-3 times each, make a list of them and score them on a 1-5 scale on how much you enjoyed them, 1-5 on how you found them physically both at the time and afterwards. This allows you to look back and hopefully find something you feel you can get on with. Secondary you said financially you are well enough off, now this could mean anything from ou can feed yourself daily to you can buy a second home, new car and a boat tomorrow if you wanted. ( I'm uk so although you mentioned money figures I can't relate too well to them) but you need to stop thinking of yourself as unworthy of having that money spent on you weather it is for health care or an activity you enjoy so if you for example try and love rock climbing but it costs X to get there ( no car) and X for the session so what? If you enjoy it and it improves your mood and body and you can afford it then do it, you are important and your ( excess) money should be spent on things you enjoy. Obviously if you are trying to save money or you have less than I think you post surge sets then you would need to factor it in more but please don't write something you enjoy or need of just because it's not free and you don't feel worthy enough to spend money on it. Also I know you have said your not overweight but that doesn't mean your diet it right for you, you sound an active person so just double check you are getting enough from your food and you may find by adjusting macros you can gain a little more energy. With regard to sleep/ energy my only way I can relate is although I love my bed and can fall asleep any chance I get I work 12 - 14 hour nights 6 days a week and then care for my 2 children during the day and I'm always tired but it my choice if I'm a grumpy tired or I fake happiness and energy. It's hard but after 10 years of this I'm physically and mentally tired but I'm also now able to smile and be genuinely happy and go about my day with enough energy to get through, it's not the same as after I've had a good sleep but don't underestimate the power of positive thoughts and faking it if needed, it won't change the underlining problems and isn't easy to do but well worth it . as an example you hate getting sweaty but if you do a hard 15 min workout at home then jump straight in the shower and then clean clothes eventually your thought process on sweat will adjust as you are only uncomfatable for a short time followed by something you ( presuamalbly ) find pleasant. Eventually your tolerance to sweat will increase to where you can either be sweating for slightly longer or you can get sweaty but are OK to wait for a few mins for your shower. What ever you choose good luck x
  • JenniferAndres
    JenniferAndres Posts: 28 Member
    For me, I have found, that remembering that it’s not a race, it’s not a competition, and I can go at my own pace- helps tremendously.
  • Nneekers
    Nneekers Posts: 1 Member
    I hate exercise also. The only thing I slightly enjoy is dancing , but only if no one is home and I can play music that really moves me!
  • zeldon919
    zeldon919 Posts: 118 Member
    OP I know you said you aren’t checking this anymore, but none the less.
    I also hate exercise (less, and for different reasons), and am hoping to work on that, how I found this thread.

    First off, some of the negative comments are absolutely inappropriate and you (no one) deserves that.

    A few thoughts/suggestions:
    *Because you’ve had some negative experiences with therapy, maybe a support group could be beneficial alternative. It’s not 1-1, the people there have similar issues so won’t judge, and it can only be helpful. And they have them for tons of issues.
    *there are GPs that are experienced with mental health issues. Try to find one to talk to about medication and/or lifestyle changes that could help with the insomnia and mental health issues, instead of conventional therapy.
    *if you find the exercise bike boring, find a show you like and only allow yourself to watch it while on the bike. It’s motivating and it cuts the monotony. I do that on my phone when I go to the gym (rare occasions, but I’m working on it)
    *you indicate that you can be motivated by stressful situations. Sign up for a race and prepare for that. Pay for it. Tell everyone you know you’re doing a 10k (or whatever is realistic for you). That way you’re forced to prepare for it and complete it.
    *you don’t like sweating, and you want to tone. I recommend yoga. Some of the fitest and most toned people I know do it largely through yoga. It doesn’t seem like much, buttoga is a scale, lots of types and they all have more challenging poses or variations. Pilates too.
    *you listed a few things you like/are willing to do, but none often. Maybe you should do the same thing 3x a week. Go for a run one day, use the bike another, add in a yoga video, a toning session with home weights, maybe a trip to the pool or a hike with friends when it gets nice. Maybe the key for you is having a couple of things you do regularly but not frequently.
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