how to not hate exercise?
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The best solution to Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder is to have a life where you can work nights and sleep during the day, tbh. Easier said than done, eh?
When I was young and single and didn't have to work round school hours and having a family life, I had a job where I worked 2pm-10pm, and got paid an unsociable hours bonus for 6-10pm. It was awesome.
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My previous post was long, so I wanted to loop back and hilight the suggestion to see an experienced and reputable acupuncturist. This was literally a game-changer for me on many levels: sleep, mood, energy level. (And that's not what I went to see him for.) He diagnosed me with low kidney yang.
It's been a few years since I've seen him, and I've noticed lately some of my symptoms are back, so I'll be calling him this week.1 -
Fortunately, I enjoy exercise and do a lot. But yoga still kicks my *kitten*. Try it again if you didn’t HATE it. Many, many online classes you can do at home, alone, inside.1
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I only ready the original post but you need to find something you enjoy. I don't exercise in a conventional manner. I do things I enjoy. Find what makes you happy and you'll stick with it1
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- All exercise even the stuff you don’t count is exercise and will contribute to your overall health.
- Get a lung capacity test done. Rule out any potential underlying health condition. It may be that aerobic activity really was killing you.
- I don’t care how short the list is; find activities that you enjoy. I suggest solitary activities that are low to no cost and are easily accessible. Sweat is optional.4 -
You need a "why". Why do you even want to like exercise? You say you don't need to lose weight. What's your motivation? If you do it just because your husband wants you to, or because you think you have to, I don't think you will ever not hate it.
I love hiking too, so I use that as my "why" for jogging which I don't like much. I want to be able to do longer hikes with better scenery and not be completely wiped out at the end. Dreaming of the next adventure gets me through runs and leg days!6 -
For me, the solution was finding a sport or two I really enjoyed. As I did more fencing, I wanted to get better at it and that required additional training beyond the fencing class. It had a greater purposed than working out for fitness and/or weight loss (which seems weird, but oh well).
Now, in the interim, I've discovered and enjoyment of running outdoors (don't like running on the treadmill still).4 -
I read the original post to my husband, and he said that it sounds like one of your true motivations is earning your husband's respect, and the easiest way to do that is to take up running. He also mentioned something that others haven't really addressed, probably because most of us have been fighting our weights, unlike you. That is, if you were losing your period when running and feel terrible all the time when working out, you are most likely not fueling your workouts correctly. Eat more when you work out - eat enough carbs before working out to fuel your workouts, enough high quality protein afterwards to repair your muscles, and enough fat in general to feel good and not lose your period.
Not sure you're wanting to take up running again, with all the traumatic memories, but maybe asking your husband to work out with you would make it more pleasant and stop him thinking you're lazy. And eating better never hurt anyone.6 -
Go with what you think you can do. That means in terms of the activity and the duration. You don't have to run for an hour just because your husband or the rest of the population does or can. You do you.
I started with a dance class. It was set up as a cardio class, but there was such a variety of people in the class doing it for a variety of reasons. I wanted to get a hard workout, but there were dancers who just wanted to move to music, people working on balance, and even a woman who was there because it was recommended that she take a class with other people. I am a TERRIBLE dancer, but I loved it. You have mentioned Zumba several times as something that interests you.
I also took up running, and while I CAN run an hour a day, I don't. In fact, I'm doing other things and I only run an hour once a week. And even then, it's because my sister wants to run, and we talk the entire time (12 min/milers here). It's absolutely acceptable to do something slowly. As it becomes easier, you'll do things faster. Or for a longer time. But doing it at a rate/pace that you can or want to do is all that matters.
I wish I could tell you that you are worth anything you do. I wish you had a husband who was less dismissive of your obstacles. I do think you can build your self esteem. Like fitness, it builds slowly and over time. Maybe just do what you can and what you want to do each day instead of trying to fit a program into your life. The rigidity of a schedule doesn't sound like it will work with your sleep issues. Variety might be your best bet. You're in this for the right reasons, you just have to keep searching for what will work for you. I hope you do.6 -
My previous post was long, so I wanted to loop back and hilight the suggestion to see an experienced and reputable acupuncturist. This was literally a game-changer for me on many levels: sleep, mood, energy level. (And that's not what I went to see him for.) He diagnosed me with low kidney yang.
It's been a few years since I've seen him, and I've noticed lately some of my symptoms are back, so I'll be calling him this week.
One of my friends swears by acupuncture. It is pretty expensive though which is the main reason I've never done it.- Get a lung capacity test done. Rule out any potential underlying health condition. It may be that aerobic activity really was killing you.
I didn't even know this was a thing. Thanks.You need a "why". Why do you even want to like exercise? You say you don't need to lose weight. What's your motivation? If you do it just because your husband wants you to, or because you think you have to, I don't think you will ever not hate it.
The main reason doesn't have to do with my husband, but rather because I'm a hypochondriac and want to reduce the risk of disease. Diabetes runs in my family, my family members have aged badly, and I have kind of crappy genetics in general.rheddmobile wrote: »I read the original post to my husband, and he said that it sounds like one of your true motivations is earning your husband's respect, and the easiest way to do that is to take up running. He also mentioned something that others haven't really addressed, probably because most of us have been fighting our weights, unlike you. That is, if you were losing your period when running and feel terrible all the time when working out, you are most likely not fueling your workouts correctly. Eat more when you work out - eat enough carbs before working out to fuel your workouts, enough high quality protein afterwards to repair your muscles, and enough fat in general to feel good and not lose your period.
Not sure you're wanting to take up running again, with all the traumatic memories, but maybe asking your husband to work out with you would make it more pleasant and stop him thinking you're lazy. And eating better never hurt anyone.
I do eat a lot for my first meal of the day and eat a good balance of nutrients. I think losing my period in high school had more to do with the overall stress, which track played a major part in. At the time I was getting up at 5:30 AM; commuting over three hours a day round-trip to and from school; doing intense track workouts for about two hours a day when I had never been doing strenuous regular exercise before in my life (and some of these workouts required traveling to other parts of the city that made my commute even longer); doing a very academically rigorous courseload with hours of homework per night (I went to one of the top rated public gifted high schools in the country); and only sleeping 5-6 hours a night because I literally didn't have time to sleep more than that. Even on the weekends I had to commute up to four hours round-trip to go to track meets. Back then I didn't know much about nutrition so I didn't eat as healthy as I do now, although I did eat enough calories since my weight stayed the same. I do think I probably got a good balance of macros and I did usually have a protein bar after track practice, but I also had a lot of refined sugar and white flour.
This was a very unhealthy lifestyle which had obvious detrimental and dangerous effects on my physical and mental health, but I had no choice (my mom would have kicked me out homeless on the street if I didn't live up to her academic expectations and track was an extracurricular for college). No authority figures cared unless it caused them a liability, at which point they yelled at and blamed me. This is really where the root of my general problems came from, because I pretty much spent all my energy and internal resources getting through high school and college and immediately after I burned out and never really had any success in life since. I used to be able to work from the time I got up to the time I went to bed and now I hardly have the energy or motivation to do anything. For this reason I don't know if my aversion to exercise is necessarily due to physical reasons, or because I have such negative associations with exercise that it causes psychosomatic illness symptoms.
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Heck I’d give up on any intensity after a pressure cooker like that.
Don’t exercise. Call it something else. Like pink fluffy self care.5 -
I'm going to put my foot in it and tick you off.
What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
You don't like other people's music.
You don't like other drivers.
You don't like dogs.
You don't like changing your clothes.
You don't like sweat.
OP: you sound like some of my loved ones when they were dealing with mental health issues. Not crises, just long-term getting beat down by all of life.
Not the depths of depression, just moderate, low-grade depression.
Not acute anxiety, but low-grade annoyance and irritability (which, paradoxically, can be caused by anxiety).
In other words, the kind of thing that talking to a counselor can often really help.
Which would also give you the cahnce to address the other issues you've brought up, like your own motivation by shame and the way your parents used body shame against you.
I'm not suggesting years of Freudian analysis, but what a good counselor can do is help you look at the "Thought habits" that you've learned, and suggest ways to break out of the unhealthy patterns. They can help you reframe the issues you'd like to feel differently about.14 -
rheddmobile wrote: »I read the original post to my husband, and he said that it sounds like one of your true motivations is earning your husband's respect
BUT...NOT trying to pick on the OP here, but hear me out on this...something else comes to mind. Husband works full-time and pays more than his fair share of the household bills. He is extremely active too - working out, running, etc. The OP, on the other hand, works part-time, doesn't exercise, is extremely negative and defeatist; as plenty of people have pointed out, she hates/complains about/doesn't like an awful lot of stuff. The OP doesn't seem to be taking an active role in managing her mental health issues, either. There's no mention of the division of household labor - if the OP is so completely exhausted after an hour of "exercise" that she can't physically do anything the rest of the day, I'm having a hard time imagining she's the one mowing/raking the yard, cleaning out the gutters, trimming the hedges, etc on the weekends either. I'm not even gonna ask about their sex life (or my assumed lack thereof).
So even if he is a genuinely compassionate, caring person, there has to come a point in time where he is fed up and frustrated with the situation. She USED to be a runner; if he dated and proposed to an active person, and then...nope...oh and it's not like he can go adopt a furry running buddy from the shelter because she doesn't like (or is afraid of) dogs...I don't think he's totally out-of-bounds in wanting her to be more active again, to recapture that person he fell in love with and is trying to make/have a life with. He may be feeling trapped and is trying his best to make things work before he throws in the towel.
We're also hearing her side of the story as far as his criticisms of the OP go - sure, it's possible he's approaching this less-than-tactfully, but flip side, given the OP's description of how horrible 99% of everything is, it's also possible he's extremely sensitive in his approach, but she's taking it the wrong way and painting him to be a bad guy. He may be struggling & putting forth a LOT of effort in trying to be happy in their marriage.
2 other things I'd like to throw out there:
-You mentioned you can walk 20 miles/day; average walking pace is ~3mph, which means you'll spend 6-7 hours walking (and I'm assuming it's not perfectly flat terrain, meaning you're walking up/down hills etc too), but an hour of "exercise" wears you out so badly you're exhausted for half the day? Somehow in my mind that's a bit...distorted, to say the least.
-Shop around for acupuncture; where I go it's $20/session.14 -
laurenq1991 wrote: »My previous post was long, so I wanted to loop back and hilight the suggestion to see an experienced and reputable acupuncturist. This was literally a game-changer for me on many levels: sleep, mood, energy level. (And that's not what I went to see him for.) He diagnosed me with low kidney yang.
It's been a few years since I've seen him, and I've noticed lately some of my symptoms are back, so I'll be calling him this week.
One of my friends swears by acupuncture. It is pretty expensive though which is the main reason I've never done it.- Get a lung capacity test done. Rule out any potential underlying health condition. It may be that aerobic activity really was killing you.
I didn't even know this was a thing. Thanks.You need a "why". Why do you even want to like exercise? You say you don't need to lose weight. What's your motivation? If you do it just because your husband wants you to, or because you think you have to, I don't think you will ever not hate it.
The main reason doesn't have to do with my husband, but rather because I'm a hypochondriac and want to reduce the risk of disease. Diabetes runs in my family, my family members have aged badly, and I have kind of crappy genetics in general.rheddmobile wrote: »I read the original post to my husband, and he said that it sounds like one of your true motivations is earning your husband's respect, and the easiest way to do that is to take up running. He also mentioned something that others haven't really addressed, probably because most of us have been fighting our weights, unlike you. That is, if you were losing your period when running and feel terrible all the time when working out, you are most likely not fueling your workouts correctly. Eat more when you work out - eat enough carbs before working out to fuel your workouts, enough high quality protein afterwards to repair your muscles, and enough fat in general to feel good and not lose your period.
Not sure you're wanting to take up running again, with all the traumatic memories, but maybe asking your husband to work out with you would make it more pleasant and stop him thinking you're lazy. And eating better never hurt anyone.
I do eat a lot for my first meal of the day and eat a good balance of nutrients. I think losing my period in high school had more to do with the overall stress, which track played a major part in. At the time I was getting up at 5:30 AM; commuting over three hours a day round-trip to and from school; doing intense track workouts for about two hours a day when I had never been doing strenuous regular exercise before in my life (and some of these workouts required traveling to other parts of the city that made my commute even longer); doing a very academically rigorous courseload with hours of homework per night (I went to one of the top rated public gifted high schools in the country); and only sleeping 5-6 hours a night because I literally didn't have time to sleep more than that. Even on the weekends I had to commute up to four hours round-trip to go to track meets. Back then I didn't know much about nutrition so I didn't eat as healthy as I do now, although I did eat enough calories since my weight stayed the same. I do think I probably got a good balance of macros and I did usually have a protein bar after track practice, but I also had a lot of refined sugar and white flour.
This was a very unhealthy lifestyle which had obvious detrimental and dangerous effects on my physical and mental health, but I had no choice (my mom would have kicked me out homeless on the street if I didn't live up to her academic expectations and track was an extracurricular for college). No authority figures cared unless it caused them a liability, at which point they yelled at and blamed me. This is really where the root of my general problems came from, because I pretty much spent all my energy and internal resources getting through high school and college and immediately after I burned out and never really had any success in life since. I used to be able to work from the time I got up to the time I went to bed and now I hardly have the energy or motivation to do anything. For this reason I don't know if my aversion to exercise is necessarily due to physical reasons, or because I have such negative associations with exercise that it causes psychosomatic illness symptoms.
It does sound like you have larger problems than exercise. Not having the energy or motivation to do anything sounds like depression and / or a physical illness, which need to be addressed.
My sympathy for your parental situation, seriously. Mine were just straight up physically abusive, and the damage pops up years later when you least expect it. The thing is, it's not your parents whose lives are getting screwed up now, it's yours, and it's on you to deal with it, because no one else is going to.3 -
I am the same way. However, I did find my love for boxing a heavy bag. I only bought it for my husband but as soon as I put on the gloves, I’m loving it more than he is. I also downloaded Zombies, Run app. It is a story mode run app. You can also use it for the tread mill and elliptical.4
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You can do calisthenics anywhere, even at home, which is a super bonus! And it does help you shed the pounds. Here's a cute beginner video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDY5-fNDG4
For pull ups at home, I strongly suggest a wall mounted pull up bar: Yes4All Heavy Duty Wall Mounted Pull-Up at amazon.com
For dips at home, I'd try the Amazon Basic Dips bar.
And you can jog anytime around your neighborhood for extra cardio once or twice a week in the morning instead of the home workout or in addition to the home workout to vary things up a bit.
Good luck!
P.S. I love to share what works for me and hope it inspires others.4 -
I also suggest the GoFit aerobic floor mat for situps, bicycle ab crunches, or anything that puts you on your back. Getting the full finger beast mode gloves for pull ups couldn't hurt too. And both of these further allow you to get the most out of your workout with little to no discomfort.
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You're going to need a good reason to workout. Without a solid reason and goal, you'll never stick with it since your list of "hates" is pretty long.
When I was first getting back into working out a few years ago, I was struggling. I'd start something for a few times, then give up because I hated it. I had reasons to workout, I knew I'd eventually feel better, but the suffering wasn't worth it.
Then, my lack of fitness started to cause problems for my racing (motorcycles). I could ride faster, but my body couldn't keep up. I was running out of strength and endurance both. This was my "ultimate reason." It didn't make things suck any less, especially after years of not really doing anything.
After that, now that I had my ultimate reason, my mantra became "embrace the suck." I knew it was going to suck. I knew I'd be miserable, I knew I'd hate it, I knew I wouldn't want to go to the gym, I knew I'd be embarrassed by how out of shape I was. I knew having to take a shower and do more laundry, etc, was all going to suck. I was just going to have to embrace the suck and do it anyways.
So, I'd get home from work and be ready to plop down, but knew I needed to go to the gym. I knew I was going to hate it, but I did it anyways.
Well, it really did suck. For awhile. Then it started to get better. After a few weeks, I could do more and was seeing improvements. After a few more weeks, there were very measurable differences. And guess what? I actually started to enjoy it. I started to look forward to those workouts and how they made me feel. It didn't suck so much. And the days I skipped it for whatever reason, I actually started to MISS it.
Won't lie or pretend that it was all sunshine and rainbows, but it started to suck a lot less, and the benefits started to outweigh the suck. Those first few weeks/couple months? Those DID suck. Pretty much every minute of it. But I did it anyways. And now, it doesn't suck so much and I don't "hate" much of anything. Some things I enjoy more than others, but not much I flat out "hate."7 -
I honestly don't love it and I find that being distracted is a must. Podcasts have been a life-saver for me. Also, treadmills with TVs and watching Netflix on my iphone or ipad is really the only thing that keeps me distracted from my exercise misery. Also exercising in a group, like a class. That way, even though I'm miserable, I have to save face by making it through the entire class because quitting makes me look like a loser.5
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What I noticed about your "I hate" list is that a lot of it is just plain negative, and its not all about exercise.
You don't like other people's music.
You don't like other drivers.
You don't like dogs.
You don't like changing your clothes.
You don't like sweat.
I believe that I have legitimate reasons for not liking these things.
I don't think anyone likes having to listen to music they hate blasted at top volume with no way to escape it, especially when they are already doing something they're not a fan of. I love many kinds of music but generally not most pop music which is usually what is played. I don't know why businesses feel this need to force music on people. What's wrong with silence and letting people choose if they want to listen to something, and what to listen to?
I don't like the drivers in my area because they literally try to run me over all the time. By state law drivers are supposed to yield to pedestrians. 95% of the time they don't -- not even for my disabled MIL who often walks with a cane. Even if you are literally in the act of crossing they try to play chicken and keep driving at you to get you to back up so they can save a few seconds. The only time I have seen them yield immediately is if a cop car was parked down the street, so clearly they know the law, they just choose not to follow it. I am not the only person who has noticed this about the drivers in my area. My husband and MIL agree with me and I have also seen it discussed on Facebook groups for my town.
Same with the broken sidewalks BTW-- there was a huge debate about that one on a Facebook group (basically homeowners complaining they were "too poor" to fix the sidewalks when they live in a $500K+ house), and many people stated that either they or people they knew had gotten injured from tripping on the broken sidewalks, and that they had to walk in the (dangerous) street with baby carriages and so on. So again, it's not just me.
I also don't like dogs for a reason. BTW it's not all dogs but only dogs that are big enough to kill me. Unfortunately I have had too many bad experiences with dogs trying to attack me -- including two in my own apartment building. I don't trust any dog that I don't know that is big enough to kill me. For this reason I don't want to run outside because if I were to run past a dog, it could trigger its chase instinct, and most of the time the owner is not strong enough to hold onto the leash if the dog really wants to make a run for it. The dogs plus the cars plus the broken sidewalks make running outside too hazardous in my opinion. Actually runners in my town also often run in the street due to the sidewalks. People may get offended by my stance on dogs but my MIL owns a pretty vicious parakeet and I guarantee people would complain if we, for example, released her into the hallways of our apartment building, and she only weighs five ounces and would not be able to kill anyone. Not everyone has to like dogs and a lot of people don't. If there was a dog-free town I would move there and it would not be a problem anymore, but unfortunately that does not exist.
Another thing is that dog owners REALLY hate it if you dislike dogs and try to avoid them. I can't even tell you the amount of times I have crossed the street to avoid someone's dog and they proceeded to cross onto the same side as me on purpose. Sometimes I even cross back twice and then they cross again. The two owners of the dogs in my apartment building that barked and lunged at me also acted like it was my fault that their dog acted vicious and that I now avoid them. I didn't provoke them at all and in both cases I was literally just walking, not saying anything or looking at them and minding my own business.
When did I say I don't like changing my clothes? I don't really like changing them at the gym because there aren't any private spaces to do it and I don't really feel like being semi-nude in front of strangers, but that's about it.
A lot of people dislike the feeling of getting sweaty and some have even mentioned it in this thread. I have always been pretty sensitive to being uncomfortable in general, from the time I was a baby. Some people are just like that. For example I don't even wear jeans because they are too uncomfortable. I don't like feeling gross and itchy, not sure what the problem is with that.1
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