Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

FrnkLft
FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

Discuss.
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Replies

  • ackdyolen
    ackdyolen Posts: 15 Member
    I don't hate the gym myself - I love it! But I know a LOT of women who hate it because they spend so much time comparing themselves to other women. They aren't as strong or fast or fit or skinny.... and they don't like to go to the gym and look like they don't know what they're doing. That's what I'm gathering from most of the girls I'm trying to get to come to the gym with me (and I'm certainly not the skinniest or fittest girl in the gym by any stretch either LOL)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Not sure what you mean?

    I've been living inside a gym since I was a freshman in College- I have been doing pull ups since before most of you could do a push up.

    When I was a kid we did push ups for punishment- so that was before I could remember anything- like before 6 years old I was doing push ups.

    I do weighted pull ups now- sets of them... and I have a respectable dead lift .. I'm 40 lbs away from 2x my body weight.

    There are PLENTY of women don't struggle with the gym.

    And I don't know what you are talking about "women are not encourage to be physically strong/able like men.

    Women by nature will as a whole NEVER be as strong as a man of equal stature... but I have always been self sufficient and trained to get stronger- be faster- be more fierce.... compared to anyone. I don't compare myself with a man because I am not a man. I compare myself to who I was yesterday. My goals are not their goals and vice versa. All I want is to be better than I was yesterday. If I'm training with someone- I want to be better than they are- If I'm competing I"m training to win- no matter how "fun" the competition is.

    There is a huge social media issue with women's magazines- and it seems like there are only TWO options "get toned" or "get into body builder super huge"

    and that's not the case- women's magazines facilitate this concept- that's probably the biggest source of rubbish ever.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,972 Member
    I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.

    I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.

    It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • pkbryant28
    pkbryant28 Posts: 146 Member
    For me, it is because I am unsure of what to do and I feel intimidated. I am working with a personal trainer now who is showing me how to do a variety of things in the gym (free weights, cables, stability ball, resistant bands, and Pilates) and the intimidation is decreasing but I have yet to go at it on my own. Prior to working with the trainer I would do the treadmill or elliptical because that is what I knew how to do. It was easier to do what I knew than to be embarrassed for doing the weights incorrectly and being laughed at.
  • IZackV13
    IZackV13 Posts: 157 Member
    I think women are "encouraged" to be skinny-fat moreso than men. For women, curves and the extra body fat that go with it aren't such a big deal.

    I find beauty in both the athletic/ripped/toned female figure as well as the prototypical skinny-fat college co-ed, so I guess it's win-win?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.

    I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.

    It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
    ^^
    truuf

    I was working out with a TRX in the park when a teenage boy and friends- tasked with taking their younger siblings to the park stopped by.

    Teenage boys were talking about whatever- and left the girl about 10 or so and the other young boy to their own devices.

    And she stopped and looked at me and goes- are you working out??

    >me> yup
    >girl> I need to lose weight too

    <internal me> SHOCKED FACE

    >me> oh sweetie- I'm not trying to lose weight- I'm trying to just get stronger and faster and better
    >girl> oh I drink milk

    <internal me> FACEPALM

    I was so depressed that her only connection with working out was to lose weight- I think that says A LOT about what our societies children are being raised to believe. it was depressing.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
    IDK, I know lots of men who abhor the gym too!
  • LeviLeDoux
    LeviLeDoux Posts: 151 Member
    For me it's because it's embarrassing and I have severe social anxiety. I go to the grocery store in the wee hours of the morning and won't step foot in a restaurant alone. I have been a complete panic-stricken mess the few times I've been to the gym and don't find the environment conducive to comfortably exercising. :frown:
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...

    Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."

    It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.
  • fitmomhappymom
    fitmomhappymom Posts: 171 Member
    I stick to mostly cardio because that is where I feel most comfortable and running on the treadmill or doing the stair machine clears my mind after a long day at work.
    I do weight machines as well, but most of the machines are difficult to adjust the seats or I just don't understand how to use the machines so I stick to the ones I know. And yes, I know they have instructions, but nothing makes you feel more uncomfortable than fumbling around trying to learn something with a bunch of eyeballs stuck to you.
    Lame excuse? Maybe.
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...

    Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."

    It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.

    Wait, lets be clear, I love that soft midsection mahself... no kidding, tone women are fine too, but I really like a soft mid-section... not ot be confused with fat mid-section... like 20-25% bodyfat :smile:
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I stick to mostly cardio because that is where I feel most comfortable and running on the treadmill or doing the stair machine clears my mind after a long day at work.
    I do weight machines as well, but most of the machines are difficult to adjust the seats or I just don't understand how to use the machines so I stick to the ones I know. And yes, I know they have instructions, but nothing makes you feel more uncomfortable than fumbling around trying to learn something with a bunch of eyeballs stuck to you.
    Lame excuse? Maybe.

    Dumb bells- you only need to adjust by picking them up and setting them down if they aren't right for you.

    barbell's - only need to adjust with various plates to suit your needs.

    Hell I work at a gym and I get self conscious using machines... those things suck!!!
  • beawych
    beawych Posts: 13 Member
    In my experience ( and I am very big and this may not be everyone reasoning) it's because people have either told me my sessions are not long enough or that I haven't worked hard enough or because they have asked me how I have the bare faced cheek to even attend seeing as I look like a bulga whale. Unsurprisingly it is only now that I have access to a gym at work and work closely with the sports therapist in my role as a mental health nurse that I have tried again. The difference is that the people from work that attend, although very fit are very supportive of my efforts.
  • red_road
    red_road Posts: 761 Member
    " I have been doing pull ups since before most of you could do a push up. "

    ............................................:huh:
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    I stick to mostly cardio because that is where I feel most comfortable and running on the treadmill or doing the stair machine clears my mind after a long day at work.
    I do weight machines as well, but most of the machines are difficult to adjust the seats or I just don't understand how to use the machines so I stick to the ones I know. And yes, I know they have instructions, but nothing makes you feel more uncomfortable than fumbling around trying to learn something with a bunch of eyeballs stuck to you.
    Lame excuse? Maybe.

    Dumb bells- you only need to adjust by picking them up and setting them down if they aren't right for you.

    barbell's - only need to adjust with various plates to suit your needs.

    Hell I work at a gym and I get self conscious using machines... those things suck!!!

    Nah I get it, people feel more self-conscious with free-weights... but I've never seen anyone give someone a hardtime for trying free weights... machines on the other hand....

    I hate machines personally, and not on principle, but they never feel natural. I only use them for leg curls and abduction/adduction exercises.
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
    just a guess, as i don't mind the gym myself, but i'd say some worry about judgement/scrutiny from others, and then there's the notion that they'll 'get bulky' or 'look like a man' if they lift weights.

    also there can be resentment from some men in the gym that as a woman you're somehow invading 'their' space by being there, and they aren't shy about telling you about their feels on the matter.
  • I Wish I could go to the gym =/
    But current circumstances/finances do not allow for it.

    Maybe a good number of females feel body shame and maybe that is why they choose to abstain from the gym ?
    Some people are also pretty stuck on being thin,loosing weight and not aware of the importance of being in shape.
    I don't really know just guessing .
  • HeatherMN
    HeatherMN Posts: 3,821 Member
    For me, it is because I am unsure of what to do and I feel intimidated. I am working with a personal trainer now who is showing me how to do a variety of things in the gym (free weights, cables, stability ball, resistant bands, and Pilates) and the intimidation is decreasing but I have yet to go at it on my own. Prior to working with the trainer I would do the treadmill or elliptical because that is what I knew how to do. It was easier to do what I knew than to be embarrassed for doing the weights incorrectly and being laughed at.

    ^This
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    " I have been doing pull ups since before most of you could do a push up. "

    ............................................:huh:

    LOL

    I grew up on a farm- swinging from pipe corrals my dad made it a point to be able to hoist my self up- so since as long as I can remember I've been doing pull ups- like 5 or earlier- I was the only girl in my class in like 4/5th grade or whatever (when we had recess and physical fitness assessments) that could max out the hold- more than almost any of the guys. Or even make it across the monkey bars.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    For me it's because it's embarrassing and I have severe social anxiety. I go to the grocery store in the wee hours of the morning and won't step foot in a restaurant alone. I have been a complete panic-stricken mess the few times I've been to the gym and don't find the environment conducive to comfortably exercising. :frown:

    This. so much this.

    I've only been to off campus gyms 4 times. Each was a trial week at a different gym. Each time I chickened out of a membership because of how gym people trigger my social anxiety.

    The worst being the time a couple of guys were working out right next to me, loudly complaining that "only ugly women" go to this gym, and that they needed to find one where "the hot girls go."
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
    When you come to a gym, and you're not in shape, you get dissed a lot.
    People sneer at you, class leaders tell you you should lose weight before you show up, etc.
    Doesn't make for a conducive environment for workouts.
    They just want your money anyway, and don't give a crap about you.
    I've used gyms when in shape and not in shape, so I know the dif.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.

    I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.

    It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    This is pretty insightful actually - especially about it starting young. I never knew anyone that went to the gym just to lift when I was younger. If you went to the gym, it was to get some cardio in to lose weight or to look better (without messing up your hair, of course). The thought of lifting weights never crossed my mind. I had 5, 8 and 12 pounds weights at my house and a treadmill. What did I need a gym for? As long as you looked good in a bathing suit, that's all you needed. Health and strength weren't important. Even in middle school, the girls played softball while the guys were lifting. That's they way it was unfortunately.

    I would kill to be able to go back in time and slap myself for not educating myself more. I learned power cleans yesterday and I was like "where have these been all of my life?! these are awesome!" I wish that girls were taught to be more empowered through strength.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    I don't hate the gym, I love then gym. who hates the gym?
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    I don't like the gym, but not for the reasons you think. I prefer doing things outside of the gym - cycling, running, etc. The only gym I go to now is a crossfit gym, but even then, it's not your standard 'gym'. I find the gym boring.
  • kasiaj
    kasiaj Posts: 63 Member
    I wouldn't say that I don't like the gym itself, but I don't like to go to the gym because I feel it takes away from mommy and baby time. I much reather go for a walk with the stroller or hike with the baby backpack. Even doing exercises at home in between playing with my daughter.
  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
    The weight area can be intimidating for a woman, especially those who suffer from any type of anxiety.

    I love cardio because it makes me feel high, it gives me clarity and reduces my stress. I also love yoga and mat pilates. I'm currently suffering from a shoulder, wrist, and thumb injury so lifting weight is out for the most part until I recover. In the mean time, using my own body weight to get stronger is better than nothing.

    I also know plenty of men who feel intimidated by the gym. Maybe it just depends on the circle of people you know/family.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    Well, I used to hate the gym because it was boring. I don't like cardio. Well, actually, I do, but I don't like the boring treadmill/elliptical/stationary bike/treadmill cardio. Which is what most women are told to do. And I need variety.

    I like the gym now. Because lifting is fun. :happy:
  • HeatherMN
    HeatherMN Posts: 3,821 Member

    I would kill to be able to go back in time and slap myself for not educating myself more. I learned power cleans yesterday and I was like "where have these been all of my life?! these are awesome!" I wish that girls were taught to be more empowered through strength.

    Yep. My high school boyfriend loved lifting and tried to talk me into doing with him. I always said no because I was intimidated. NOW I wished I had taken the opportunity to learn from him...then maybe I wouldn't be fighting the bulge if I'd started when I was thin.
  • What are your generalizations based off of???? When I go to the gym I see MORE women than men working out and working out HARD. No self image issues etc. I believe you are NOT HATING but you are entirely oblivious to reality when it comes to women and the gym. Could be because you are a man and you are too concerned with your own self image and only paying attention to the other men that are in the gym to compare yourself to.

    Could also be the time you go to the gym is when ALL of the hard working women are home raising their families/kids etc.
    Might I suggest you study your generalization further by going to the gym at various times throughout the day and actually pay attention to how many women are in there busting *kitten*.

    I know many men who have way more "issues" about going to the gym than I do women! :)
  • wesleycneill
    wesleycneill Posts: 64 Member
    With out reading the other replies, my answer is lack of knowledge and information in the gym. They think heavy weight will make them look like men, and that walking on the treadmill for 90 minutes at 60% max heart rate is the key to fat loss.

    If you want to see what the women who REALLY work out look like, watch this video. Also plenty of motivation for the guys in here.

    http://www.simplyshredded.com/train-like-hell.html