Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?
Replies
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In my experience ( and I am very big and this may not be everyone reasoning) it's because people have either told me my sessions are not long enough or that I haven't worked hard enough or because they have asked me how I have the bare faced cheek to even attend seeing as I look like a bulga whale.
Where the hell are these gyms full of *kitten* that so many people here like to go to??? Maybe I'm lucky and just happen to frequent the only four gyms in the world where nice people congregate, but neither me nor my wife have ever been stared at, looked down upon, been berated for being fat, been prevented from using the equipment, had to deal with grunting freaks, or any of the other common gym complaints I keep reading about on here. These are regular, old Gold's Gym franchises in New Hampshire and Massachusetts, as well as a smaller mom-and-pop operation near my house. I've hit gyms in FL and NY while traveling there, too, and still no jerks. What gives?0 -
!The guys at my gym actually make fun of me when I'm in there. A group of them copy whatever exercise I'm doing with the same weight I am using and loudly describe how light and easy it is. Sorry that I'm a beginner!! But despite that I still show up and do my best. I may only be squatting 85 and benching 65, but at least I am trying.
Pick the biggest loudest roid raging neanderthal in the gym to tell those kids to stfu. He wont say no.
Totally behind this idea
Why didn't I think of this? Will have to give this a shot next time.
If it doesn't work, let me know. I'm small but terrifying and I don't like bullies. :explode:0 -
I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
I found the machines intimidating when I first started. There are still some I don't know how to use.
No one wants to end up in a gym fail youtube video because they're doing something stupid and someone films it. :bigsmile:0 -
I have the exact same thing. I grocery shop in the middle of the night. I never go to night clubs or social functions. I tried the gym a few times. Internally, I want to curl up and die. I'd rather buy my own workout equipment - which I've started doing. Can I get the very best workout at home? No. But I can make do.
You can get a damn good workout at home. I used to have a weight bench, and did everything at home. I still would if I had room for it where I live now. Space issues at home have forced me back to the gym.
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The message that we get from the media is that we have to constantly punish our bodies and deny ourselves pleasure just to look bare-minimum acceptable. Men might get that message to a lesser extent, but there is definitely a gender difference there. So that might be one reason, that women conceptualize the gym as negative thing they have to do because otherwise their bodies are unacceptable.
Personally, I have no issues with going to the gym. Most people just ignore me, and those who don't are friendly. In the beginning, I was a little self-conscious that everyone was going to stare at the fatty (me), but that didn't happen and I'm no longer the biggest person there.0 -
cardio is cathartic it's so relaxing and nice to go for a run on a treadmill! When I joined my gym I took advantage of weekly personal training sessions and learnt how the machines work and I TRY to use them when I go... but cardio is more fun and better for my wellbeing even if weights are actually more helpful in getting the body that I want0
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I dislike the gym bescause I am naturally lazy. No matter how much I force myself to go, I just don't enjoy it!!!0
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Huh really? I dont hate it but I am amused by the guys in the weight section posing in front of the mirrors flexing their muscles...0
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I've been working with female teenagers as of late (but mostly athletes) to show them the benefits of strength training, but some are still stuck on the notion that they'll end up looking like guys if they do it.I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.
I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.
It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This is pretty insightful actually - especially about it starting young. I never knew anyone that went to the gym just to lift when I was younger. If you went to the gym, it was to get some cardio in to lose weight or to look better (without messing up your hair, of course). The thought of lifting weights never crossed my mind. I had 5, 8 and 12 pounds weights at my house and a treadmill. What did I need a gym for? As long as you looked good in a bathing suit, that's all you needed. Health and strength weren't important. Even in middle school, the girls played softball while the guys were lifting. That's they way it was unfortunately.
I would kill to be able to go back in time and slap myself for not educating myself more. I learned power cleans yesterday and I was like "where have these been all of my life?! these are awesome!" I wish that girls were taught to be more empowered through strength.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I just like to run outside0
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It bores me. I prefer outside activities and if I'm going to run/walk, I much prefer to do it outside in the fresh air....it's just much more interesting.
I also find things like swimming and dancing much more fun :-D0 -
What about the non athletes' though? Hardly any females and there are still lots of high school males that dabble in weights.Surprisingly, there are actually a lot of high school girls who work out just as much as the football guys. In my town, there's a place owned by a local trainer and they do specific training workout sessions for athletes and summer memberships specifically for athletes as well as team work outs. I know many women and men that go there, both young and old. Sometimes it's the football team that works out with the volleyball team, they're all doing the same training and it's really good.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
The guys who told me that they love to watch girls try to 'be something'. The way that gyms (around here at least) have the cardio machines facing the sidewalk/parking lot and the dbags that stare in. The men who try to help me run on the treadmill because I should be kicking my speed up a half step - I mean, I have 'idiot' written all over my fat face, don't I? All gym experiences I've had during the day, not many because I got fed up with it fast, have a bunch of bro-raging morons who think they own the place.
My solution: go to a 24 hour and go at night. Not everyone can do that because of work/family, but I can and do. I love the gym, but not during the day. My motivation dies at the gym every single time a passerby makes the huge boob gesture through the window at all the women - not just the bigger ones.
I love the gym, now that the bros aren't there. They must need their beauty sleep.. if they're not getting plastered next door and puking all over the sidewalk. :grumble:0 -
This was also another reason I've heard. I actually started a thread on it awhile back so I could get some insight on a thesis paper I might write for my Wellness Center.I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.
I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.
It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually, the main reason females (talking about myself and my personal friends not every female in the world) don't participate in gym class has nothing to do with any of the above. It's because in middle school we are required to change our clothing in front of other people. I loved gym class in school but refused to participate because of that. I did not want to be undressed in front of an entire class full of girls and a gym teacher. We were not allowed to change in the bathroom stalls and had to where the lockers were. In the school I was in, if you did not change your clothes you automatically failed gym for the day even if you participated in the sports. I didn't see the reason to run around looking like an idiot participating in the class when I was just going to be failed anyway for not changing my clothing.
I don't struggle at the gym at all. I absolutely love it and the looks I get for going hard.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/928764-ladies-enlighten-me?hl=middle+school+sweating
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I didn't know we did?! gone to gyms for 25 years!
Some women love it, some women hate it. Kind of like men really!0 -
I love the gym, but I stay on the second floor with the Cybex machines and cardio stuff. The first floor with free weights is sort of intimidating because it's full of college guys half my age and the occasional college girl with an attitude. I'm a loner at the gym with almost zero free weights experience and no group of buddies to spot one another, and experience here on MFP tells me the 20-something lifting culture isn't exactly welcoming and friendly to all comers. Besides, if I spend enough time looking around to take it in and to figure out what I want to use, people might think I'm a cougar or something. :huh:
So for now I stick with machines on the second floor. I'm getting some cheapy equipment soon to use at home. Once I have some experience with that, I may venture into the weight room at my gym. Then it will be walk in, do my thing, and walk out -- like it is on the second floor.
Aside from that, I'm quite comfortable there. I keep trying new stuff and learning, and I'm getting results I'm very happy with. What's not to like? :happy:0 -
It actually depends what time of day I go, mid afternoon or late evening, LOVE the gym. I've recently started doing weight training and although it's mostly guys there, these ones are helpful and super supportive. Even though I'm at a very low starting point, they respect me just for trying. Evenings from 5-9ish suck, the gym gets full, and seems like for the most part the weight area is full of guys who are full of themeselves, they either look at my *kitten* the entire time I squat. Or smirk at me while I struggle with bench presses. Usually I walk out of the gym feeling defeated on those kinds of nights. It's completly uncomfortable.
Aside from that, I think gyms should have weekly intro nights, where they show people how to use the machines properly, or what they are even for, it's fairly intimidating to walk into.
I completely feel you I like going round midday too, much more comfortable and you can usually get on with what you came to do. I don't know why I decided to go Monday round 5pm...everyone asking how many sets left? And looking at you when you're resting or staring at your behind. I do wish back in my fitter days I did start lifting weights all I did was play sports and when we did go to the gym was to use the rowing machine, treadmill or cross trainer
TBH I like my gym though I've made friends with most of the guys that work there so I'm never afraid to get help or ask questions cause after all that's their job and what you're paying for. Plus its 24hrs !Shame I have to leave in 3 weeks!0 -
It actually depends what time of day I go, mid afternoon or late evening, LOVE the gym. I've recently started doing weight training and although it's mostly guys there, these ones are helpful and super supportive. Even though I'm at a very low starting point, they respect me just for trying. Evenings from 5-9ish suck, the gym gets full, and seems like for the most part the weight area is full of guys who are full of themeselves, they either look at my *kitten* the entire time I squat. Or smirk at me while I struggle with bench presses. Usually I walk out of the gym feeling defeated on those kinds of nights. It's completly uncomfortable.
Aside from that, I think gyms should have weekly intro nights, where they show people how to use the machines properly, or what they are even for, it's fairly intimidating to walk into.
I completely feel you I like going round midday too, much more comfortable and you can usually get on with what you came to do. I don't know why I decided to go Monday round 5pm...everyone asking how many sets left? And looking at you when you're resting or staring at your behind. I do wish back in my fitter days I did start lifting weights all I did was play sports and when we did go to the gym was to use the rowing machine, treadmill or cross trainer
TBH I like my gym though I've made friends with most of the guys that work there so I'm never afraid to get help or ask questions cause after all that's their job and what you're paying for. Plus its 24hrs !Shame I have to leave in 3 weeks!
I love the gym midday, too! It's just me and the elderly people , and we get along just fine. :drinker:
I went one time around 6pm. Never. Again.0 -
On behalf of all the rest of us weight lifters here- I apologize to all of you who have gotten smirked at.
That's rude and its really truly NOT a sign of a someone who is truly about the lift style and what weight lifting is about.
I also have never been to a gym where I have seen others smirking/laughing or pointing at someone trying. And if I did- I'd be the first "one girl in the weight room with an attitude" to tell someone off. That's rude. I actually almost got into a fight because Ms Khaki Shorts was with her friends LITERALLY pointing and laughing at another girl- I happened to be standing between the snobs- and their intended subject. Hysterically they not pretty- nor young- nor well dressed- who goes to a club in khaki shorts anyway... regardless- I seriously almost got into a fight. home girl was danicng her heart out- who are you to point and laugh you stuck up bitatches
I don't take kindly to that.
I'd say MOST people are very supportive and encouraging of people TRYING. Ask for help as you need it- come in and bust your *kitten*. People who are there training for real- they notice the work you do.
And don't think women are just intimated- men suffer from this as well I was going in on a Friday night at like 8 PM... and two younger guys- I guess early 20's maybe walked across my path- they were headed to the Cold stones (yes- we have a cold stones LITERALLY right next door to our gym- it's sick in a laughable way) anyway- there is part of the gym visible through the glass- and one guy goes- I don't like this gym- see that- right there- too man huge dude's here.
I was thinking to myself? first- not everyone in the gym looks like that- and secondly- it's FRIDAY NIGHT- AT 8 FRICKING PM. Who do you THINK is at the gym at this hour... certainly not the weekend warriors- LOL- usually people who are actually TRAINING for stuff.
My old gym- a guy used to call in and actually ask the front desk staff if anyone huge was in the back- he was THAT intimidated.
it's okay. Being intimidated by something you don't know is normal- it's healthy- it's okay.
Avoiding it? not doing something about it to educate yourself? there is no excuse for that at all. If you want to try something- or change who you are- you HAVE the tools yourself- you have it within you to do so. No one will- but feeling intimidated- that's normal- and don't think you are alone in that.0 -
I struggle with it because I get gassy when I lift and don't want to have to hold it in. I would rather lift in my basement and fart whenever I need to.
HAHA!! I get gassy when I lift too!! And since I wear headphones, I can never tell how loud my farts are. So I just let them rip and smile at the person next to me.0 -
The guys at my gym actually make fun of me when I'm in there. A group of them copy whatever exercise I'm doing with the same weight I am using and loudly describe how light and easy it is. Sorry that I'm a beginner!! But despite that I still show up and do my best. I may only be squatting 85 and benching 65, but at least I am trying.
wow, jerks, wtf
Really!?!? I am shocked this would ever happen!0 -
I stick to mostly cardio because that is where I feel most comfortable and running on the treadmill or doing the stair machine clears my mind after a long day at work.
I do weight machines as well, but most of the machines are difficult to adjust the seats or I just don't understand how to use the machines so I stick to the ones I know. And yes, I know they have instructions, but nothing makes you feel more uncomfortable than fumbling around trying to learn something with a bunch of eyeballs stuck to you.
Lame excuse? Maybe.
Dumb bells- you only need to adjust by picking them up and setting them down if they aren't right for you.
barbell's - only need to adjust with various plates to suit your needs.
Hell I work at a gym and I get self conscious using machines... those things suck!!!
Nah I get it, people feel more self-conscious with free-weights... but I've never seen anyone give someone a hardtime for trying free weights... machines on the other hand....
I hate machines personally, and not on principle, but they never feel natural. I only use them for leg curls and abduction/adduction exercises.
Lol, you use the machines for the most unnatural movements.0 -
I'm the same, exercise either has to be fun, like dancing for example or to get somewhere - cycling, walking, running. I like to be outdoors getting fresh air at the same timeI don't like the gym, but not for the reasons you think. I prefer doing things outside of the gym - cycling, running, etc. The only gym I go to now is a crossfit gym, but even then, it's not your standard 'gym'. I find the gym boring. 0 -
It bores me. I prefer outside activities and if I'm going to run/walk, I much prefer to do it outside in the fresh air....it's just much more interesting.
I also find things like swimming and dancing much more fun :-D
Me too!0 -
In my experience ( and I am very big and this may not be everyone reasoning) it's because people have either told me my sessions are not long enough or that I haven't worked hard enough or because they have asked me how I have the bare faced cheek to even attend seeing as I look like a bulga whale.
Where the hell are these gyms full of *kitten* that so many people here like to go to??? Maybe I'm lucky and just happen to frequent the only four gyms in the world where nice people congregate, but neither me nor my wife have ever been stared at, looked down upon, been berated for being fat, been prevented from using the equipment, had to deal with grunting freaks, or any of the other common gym complaints I keep reading about on here. These are regular, old Gold's Gym franchises in New Hampshire and Massachusetts, as well as a smaller mom-and-pop operation near my house. I've hit gyms in FL and NY while traveling there, too, and still no jerks. What gives?
I went to an @$$hole gym once that was more country club than gym ... There was a cafe, tennis courts, an outdoor pool, a spa-like locker room. There were huge buff dudes who used the weights, suuuuuper old men and a few middle aged women playing tennis... and everyone else just seemed to be there to hang out and gossip. It's the only gym I've ever been to where women walked naked around the locker room for like, an uncomfortably long amount of time. I don't mean naked while getting from your locker to the shower or something like that - I mean walking around naked while drying hair, putting on makeup, chatting to strangers ... they reeeeally wanted people to notice their plastic surgery/tanning bed enhanced bodies. Maybe I'm just a prude, but It. Was. Awkward.
Now I go to Planet Fitness ... and it's pretty much the opposite. You can't even pretend to be a gym snob when you know everyone's only paying $10/month. Now if they could just get rid of the burning flesh smell from the people who only join for unlimited tanning ...0 -
I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
Why do you even care? You're a man.0 -
Also when I go to the gym, I just take being stared at as a good thing, even when it's not lol0
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Good topic, lots of good ideas. I joined the YMCA a couple of years ago and found the weight machines very intimidating, despite being given a "tour" of them, which was pretty useless. The weight room itself was way too intimidating; I wouldn't know where to start. So I stuck with the treadmill because I could handle it. Then I found some aerobics classes appropriate to my level, then began eating sensibly, then added more classes. Finally, a couple of months ago, the Y started a "muscle-toning" (i.e. weight lifting) class. Terrific. Most weeks I go to the Y Monday thru Friday doing cardio/interval/weights for an hour a day. Loving it and not feeling intimidated anymore. The Y is like my home away from home! I realized that everyone there is doing their own thing; they're not looking at me...0
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I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
My question, why do so many women do those inner thigh leg machine in their tight little workout outfits?0 -
I love going to the gym. The other day my son asked me why I was smiling everytime I left the gym. I told him it's because of how good I feel after a really good workout and it's true.0
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