Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?
Replies
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I was lucky enough to start weight lifting / strength training in high school, so I have always felt pretty comfortable in a gym.
I think for a lot of women it has to do with feeling intimidated - that you're going to be scrutinized for doing a lift wrong in some way or that you're too small to lift free weights next to these big huge, steroid-injected guys. And perhaps some of it is comparison to other women in the gym, and that part makes me a big sad - this constant rivalry amongst women. We should be helping one another, not trying to compete, but I digress...
I also think there is this fear that women will get "too bulky" if they lift weights and sadly, this notion is still perpetuated through most women's magazines, even the so-called fitness ones (Women's Health, Self, etc) and it's hard for people who have NEVER weight trained to get over that hurdle. We're all supposed to be tiny and petite with long, "toned" arms only achieved through pilates or yoga. *sigh* But again, I digress...
Anyway, interesting topic.0 -
Sorry to revive this old topic but it's interesting to me as well and I'm female and don't struggle with the gym. I consider myself more knowledgeable about working out than 90 percent of the guys at my gym. I go to a commercial gym in L.A where it's supposedly very aesthetic oriented; lots of wannabe actors/models even a few famous people at my gym. However 90 percent of men are pathetically weak and work out with improper form....
........
Personally I love the gym. I like to train hard and lift heavy. I like to be aesthetic. I love lifting more than weak guys and I am obnoxious about. I am not intimidated by anyone (I flex between sets
).
Honestly, you sound exactly like the type of person who makes lifting weights intimidating for others, judgmental and obnoxious.
^Seriously.
Do you remember a time when you were new to the gym? Hadn't had a trainer? Didn't know what you were doing exactly? How intimidating it must have been for you?
How quickly we forget.0 -
I don't know any women who struggle with the gym.
I don't like the gym personally, but that's because it's stuffy and boring. I prefer to be outside as much as possible o in my house if the weather doesn't allow it.0 -
I initially struggled because I had no clue how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. I work out at a gym at a military medical hospital, and I feel comfortable there. I'm working with an exercise physiologist, and he is mixing things up on me and challenging me. I've worked out at other gyms, and what makes me uncomfortable are the roid heads who are hostile and territorial.
Although I am not lifting heavy at this point, I am getting results and a lot of respect from the younger guys at the gym.0 -
I hated the gym because when I went, which was only twice, it was a bunch of skinny women staring at me, the fat one. Plus, that gym sucked anyway and only tried it because of the free 'childcare.'
I'd rather just work out at home...at least until I am one of the skinny *****y chicks, yet I won't be staring and judging others.0 -
Are you asking why women hate the gym, or why they suck at it?
I love the gym, I'm in there 5 days a week and I'd increase it if I could (my issue is training outdoors, can't do it, I need a certain environment to keep me going), but I'd say...ALL of my female friends hate the gym.
They consider it an unfeminine environment, and definitely an uncomfortable one. They don't like sweating, the inevitable muscle soreness, the red face of exertion, and the ugly shoes. They just hate it.
This is why you'll find more women in yoga classes than men. Less panting, less sweat, more spandex, less ugly shoes.
I think a lot of women either want to be relaxed during exercise, or they want to have fun, e.g. zumba.
I personally like looking like I just got thrown in a pool once my workout is over, but that's because I like evidence of how hard I've tried. Not everyone does.0 -
I hated the gym because when I went, which was only twice, it was a bunch of skinny women staring at me, the fat one. Plus, that gym sucked anyway and only tried it because of the free 'childcare.'
I'd rather just work out at home...at least until I am one of the skinny *****y chicks, yet I won't be staring and judging others.
Out of curiosity, what did they do that made you think they were staring at or judging you? I guess I've never been to the gym and seen what you have described and my gym has a very wide variety of body types that frequent, so there are plenty of fit people and also plenty of other people who are on their journey.0 -
personally, i didn't like doing my workout in front of the guys. it was often hard to get near a squat rack as well (they only had 2) as younger guys would be standing there doing their curls or when i did get on there, they'd be asking how long i'd be.
i have no issues with this - just my own hang-ups.
i've since kitted out my dad's garage with my own rack and me and my daughter can just go there, and be badass
, without having to wait or worry about being embarrassed.
ETA: just to balance it out - there's also no women in my dad's garage bodybrushing themselves naked
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I hate gym, can't last for a session. Firstly, I have never seen the scale move after weight training, I look better but that's it. Secondly, I prefer running outside, hate the treadmill. Lastly, I feel so sore the next day and sometimes my knee gets injured.
Really? How hard are you weight training? I burn around 400 calories in an hour lifting weights.0 -
Love the gym. Love to workout.
But I will always have that self concious side that thinks people are looking at me, talking about me, and judging me.
Thats just who I am.
You know what, I get this feeling too. But I feel that way regardless actually. I don't think everyone feels like that, but it's normal enough. The problem is when it limits you from achieving your own goals (not that you said it was).
Fact of the matter is, they probably aren't lol And if they are, I have to think about what I might have done to desearve it, which is truely nothing lol So that basically just makes them ridiculous, and not my problem right? When I think of it that way I care much, much less.
I also f^&king love weight lifting, and I have a solid, real plan for what I'm doing in the gym and with my diet.0 -
I don't know what you are talking about... the only thing that makes me struggle with/at the gym is the near 20 minute drive to get to one.0
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Why do men like to make generalized statements about women?
I know not all men do that, but I am just making a generalization here.
Discuss.0 -
When I started this journey in June, I immediately got a personal trainer because I didn't just want to lose weight, I wanted to have muscle and be flexible and strong.
Getting the food thing under control is a work in progress, but I never fail to see my trainer three times a week.
I got a Charter Fitness membership yesterday so I could walk on the treadmill as the weather gets bad. I saw a girl my age in there who was just toned and muscular and strong looking. She was hot, hot, hot, and not in a traditional way. She was lifting weights and using machines without flinching or looking embarrassed or anything. She had a body I could have with some serious dedication. We were similar heights and shapes, but her muscles were just amazing. She was built like a brick wall.
Definitely sparked something in me. I can't wait to get to a point where I've lost enough weight for some serious muscle definition to show.0 -
I hated the gym because when I went, which was only twice, it was a bunch of skinny women staring at me, the fat one. Plus, that gym sucked anyway and only tried it because of the free 'childcare.'
I'd rather just work out at home...at least until I am one of the skinny *****y chicks, yet I won't be staring and judging others.
Out of curiosity, what did they do that made you think they were staring at or judging you? I guess I've never been to the gym and seen what you have described and my gym has a very wide variety of body types that frequent, so there are plenty of fit people and also plenty of other people who are on their journey.
I go to a no-frills sort of place - Charter Fitness, and it is very much normal people in their sweatshirts lifting and running and whatnot (there is one guy, who comes in and brings his elderly grandmom to walk on the treadmill, its so cute), but there are a lot of gyms here in Chicago with people who are there to scope out other people and be judgey - especially in some of the more high end hoods. One gym near me, Planet Fitness has a sign that says "no gymtimidation" and that is exactly it - when you go in and see super thin, fit women who are only in a bra top and shorts mastering their downward facing dog or in the step class barely breaking a sweat while you flail in an uncoordinated sweaty mess. As a person over 200 lbs its so discouraging to be the fat girl in a faded t -shirt and beat up sweats surrounded by girls who have thigh gap.
In regard to the weights - the free weights especially, there are a lot of guys over there in my gym. It seems to be a guy domain. I know that inherently they do not care what I am doing when I venture over there to do my bicep curls or reverse lunges or whatever, but its a mental wall of testosterone that you have to push through.
Mostly I'm over this - I found the right gym for me. The people who are there are there to workout and are very encouraging - there is no side eye or body shaming or people working out in bra tops or super tight muscle shirts preening. But going to the wrong gym can really scar a person.0 -
Honestly for me, a born introvert, it's because women tend to be so CHATTY in situations like that. They want to talk more than work out - talking about their kids (I am childfree by choice), careers (I work a pretty standard job and don't wanna chitchat about it), terrible husbands (I have a fiancé who I'm MAD about), fad diets (Paleo/Atkins/etc), and every other thing. Also if they're anywhere near my own size they usually used to be skinny and now hate and complain about their horrible bodies. I LOVE my body! I don't want to make friends at the gym.
The competitive stuff probably could be good for me, but most of the women in my area at the places I've gone to work out are just there to be all social and gung-ho about running a 5k.
I have no time for "mean girl" attitudes, though, and they don't really bug me much...I am 36.0 -
I have a love/hate relationship with my gym.
I love being there and feeling the energy form everyone around me. It makes me feel motivated. Then I look around at so many fit and toned people and it becomes a bit intimidating. I used to lift weights 5 days a week in high school and college, then I started having kids and just seemed to forget who I was. It's been so long that I have also forgotten how to lift properly. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's not knowing how. I know this can be fixed with a trainer, but I need to have money for that. My best friend and I lift using some of th machines which I know aren't as beneficial as free weights, but it's better than nothing. Even then, I don't think we are getting the full benefit because we just don't know how to get through the machines (i.e. how many sets and reps, when do we increase weight, etc.)0 -
I think that - just as with men - there's a great deal of natural variation here. Some women (myself included) love the gym because it is a fairly competitive environment that facilitates the pursuit of fitness and health. Others hate it because they aren't fit enough (this has been be occasionally), because it's too social, because it's not social enough, because it's too competitive (and they aren't or they don't like how they stack up)... sometimes because they are just too damn lazy (men and women both, eh?)!0
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I hate gym, can't last for a session. Firstly, I have never seen the scale move after weight training, I look better but that's it. Secondly, I prefer running outside, hate the treadmill. Lastly, I feel so sore the next day and sometimes my knee gets injured.
I don't mean to be a bi**h, honestly I don't...but:
1. You can't last a session yet cannot understand why the scale didn't move?
2. So you prefer the scale moving over looking better? (your words..)
3. Yes, outside is great for running. There is more at the gym than the treadmill though.
4. The soreness you feel the next day is your body getting stronger. Think of it as a positive thing. I love that feeling!
5. "Sometimes my knee gets injured"....ummmmm, that only happens at the gym? I think that could also happen running outside. If it is injured while doing some kind of weight training then your form may be off. Get a personal trainer, or heck even just youtube the exercises you were doing to see where you may have been going wrong.0 -
I hate gym, can't last for a session. Firstly, I have never seen the scale move after weight training, I look better but that's it.
:huh:0 -
I hated the gym because when I went, which was only twice, it was a bunch of skinny women staring at me, the fat one. Plus, that gym sucked anyway and only tried it because of the free 'childcare.'
I'd rather just work out at home...at least until I am one of the skinny *****y chicks, yet I won't be staring and judging others.
Out of curiosity, what did they do that made you think they were staring at or judging you? I guess I've never been to the gym and seen what you have described and my gym has a very wide variety of body types that frequent, so there are plenty of fit people and also plenty of other people who are on their journey.
I go to a no-frills sort of place - Charter Fitness, and it is very much normal people in their sweatshirts lifting and running and whatnot (there is one guy, who comes in and brings his elderly grandmom to walk on the treadmill, its so cute), but there are a lot of gyms here in Chicago with people who are there to scope out other people and be judgey - especially in some of the more high end hoods. One gym near me, Planet Fitness has a sign that says "no gymtimidation" and that is exactly it - when you go in and see super thin, fit women who are only in a bra top and shorts mastering their downward facing dog or in the step class barely breaking a sweat while you flail in an uncoordinated sweaty mess. As a person over 200 lbs its so discouraging to be the fat girl in a faded t -shirt and beat up sweats surrounded by girls who have thigh gap.
In regard to the weights - the free weights especially, there are a lot of guys over there in my gym. It seems to be a guy domain. I know that inherently they do not care what I am doing when I venture over there to do my bicep curls or reverse lunges or whatever, but its a mental wall of testosterone that you have to push through.
Mostly I'm over this - I found the right gym for me. The people who are there are there to workout and are very encouraging - there is no side eye or body shaming or people working out in bra tops or super tight muscle shirts preening. But going to the wrong gym can really scar a person.
This is all in your head mostly but even if people are judging, they have a right to think whatever they want to think. It's a free country. People are allowed to preen if they want and wear sports bra's if they want... At some gyms this is standard fair... I guess if that makes you uncomfortable then you should fine one where people don't do this which you have... People wearing less clothing doesn't necessarily mean they are "obnoxious" or judging you. Sounds like you are judging people just because they are confident, wear form fitting attire and enjoy looking in the mirror. Personally I find nothing offensive about any of the above because I do it myself. Due to your insecurities you are the judging everyone who is in shape and confident as a judgmental person.
If no one has ever said anything to you then you cannot assume what they are thinking. People look those who are thin and in shape up and down as well. Everyone gets looked at in the gym; it doesn't mean that it only happens to you just because you are overweight.0 -
Most women go to the gym solely to lose weight...some seem to think it's the only reason to go to a gym....I think it's slowly changing though...0
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i hate the wnba0
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but i hate the nba too....im jsut not a big basketball fan0
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I enjoy the gym, especially weight lifting!
I hate cardio, I would rather play soccer and get in my cardio that way.0 -
Personally i love the gym, and would live there if i could, unfortunately they tend to kick me out around 9
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I hate gym, can't last for a session. Firstly, I have never seen the scale move after weight training, I look better but that's it. Secondly, I prefer running outside, hate the treadmill. Lastly, I feel so sore the next day and sometimes my knee gets injured.
I don't mean to be a bi**h, honestly I don't...but:
1. You can't last a session yet cannot understand why the scale didn't move?
2. So you prefer the scale moving over looking better? (your words..)
3. Yes, outside is great for running. There is more at the gym than the treadmill though.
4. The soreness you feel the next day is your body getting stronger. Think of it as a positive thing. I love that feeling!
5. "Sometimes my knee gets injured"....ummmmm, that only happens at the gym? I think that could also happen running outside. If it is injured while doing some kind of weight training then your form may be off. Get a personal trainer, or heck even just youtube the exercises you were doing to see where you may have been going wrong.
I completely agree with the 5 reasons! I love going to the gym to do weights! isn't the whole reason to look better? too many people focus on just the scale! I LOVE the sore feeling the next day, it means I worked my butt off!0 -
IDK, I know lots of men who abhor the gym too!
yeah, this ^^
I think it's different for each individual and how they personally deal with gender stereotypes.
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable about the gym is the excess macho vibe that's generally going on at my current gym. Lots of guys seem to assume others find them impressive and walk around with a cocky attitude and that general feeling makes me uneasy because I just don't like it/am not that impressed.0 -
I hate gym, can't last for a session. Firstly, I have never seen the scale move after weight training, I look better but that's it.
:huh:
:huh: Say what?0 -
I love gonig to the gym. The only thing I don't like about it is the little old ladies who walk around naked in the locker room . . . ick.
But the women I do know who hate going to the gym hate it because of the big buff dudes who hog the weight equipment and look at bigger girls like wtf are you even doing here? I see at least one guy do this at my gym every single time I'm there, and it makes me sick.
And unless you've personally spoken to every single woman in the world and asked her opinion of going to the gym, you can't make a general statement that most women struggle with it. I'm guessing you fall into the category of the dbags I mentioned before, though, so you probably don't get it.0 -
I go to the gym, in spite of the fact that I feel very self conscious there. I need the variety, and I need to be able to work out indoors at times because of allergies and asthma. I don't like feeling like I don't fit in, and I don't like needing help to do anything, like needing a spot, or not being able to lift the bar that I'm about to do squats with, because my upper body is built like a t-rex.
Oh, and I hate waiting for equipment. Honestly, however, it's getting better. The people at my gym are very nice and it's probably character building for me to make small talk with people I barely know.0
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