Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?
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Having skimmed most of the comments above I agree and disagree with the majority of them.
I love the gym - I hate the mirrors in the class room though, much prefer not to see me joggling around when doing BodyCombat, but thats my own issue.
I dont use the weights section of the gym because like so many people here, I'm intimidated by the big bulky men and I dont fully think I know what to do.
But since I do Bodypump, I go to a section on another floor where they have a few weights etc and do my own little Bodypump workout there, where you dont get the bodybuilders. I am interested in doing more lifting though after joining this site and ready up about it which means I'll probably have to venture down at some point.
As for the treadmill etc, just hop on and go. Frig what people think. Yeh my boobs probably jiggle and I might look abit daft being red and sweaty but hey, its making me fitter and better. Being bigger I think people assume aswell that your gona run for like a minute before passing out (which is fine when your starting out by the way) so I love getting on beside someone who gives you that 'look' then outrunning them. Competitive?? moi?? Underneath though, to me it shows you cant judge people.
That little skinny person, cycling whilst on their phone not breaking a sweat - if you want to use the gym for that, fine.
But respect the fact that people go there to destress, get fitter, stronger and healthier.0 -
I used to love the gym. I had loads of friends there. Many of my friends were also instructors or PTs. A lot of my social life revolved around it. I was slim, fit, strong. I was 9 minute miling. I could cycle for hours. I could swim for miles. I could out-squat my body weight. The gym was like my second home.
...
Stuff happened... I got injured. I took a long time to get better. I gained a lot of weight (40+ pounds on a smallish frame). I lost fitness. I lost strength.
When I came back there was a time when I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Felt like dying in a spin class. Could barely run a 12 minute mile. Had 3 days of DOMS after squatting 20kg. Couldn't do a 30 second plank!! And bloody mirrors everywhere just to remind you how fat and unfit you are.
I found it really hard psychologically to get back into it. It's getting easier and I can't wait to love it again, but am not quite there yet.0 -
I think a very large part of it is that women are afraid that they will be judged as somehow "imperfect" --- too fat, too thin, to muscular, too this, not enough that.... ironically, because THEY ARE SO HARSHLY JUDGMENTAL of others.
I agree. The judgement and the "looks" don't usually come from men. They couldn't care less.0 -
I definitely do not like going to the gym. Stinky, have to wait for machines, dirty too. But, I was about 30 lbs overweight and knew I had to do something.
I started doing three things that helped me lose the weight and I have kept it off for some time:
1. Mild cardiovascular by brisk walking for 30 minutes a day.
2. Strength training with light weights in my home.
3. I discovered really and truly how to eat. I learned to eat better at www.womens-weightloss.com.
That is how I handle weight loss.
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The gym is where the fit people are, and they will judge me. It's a scary place in my opinion.
this is just ridiculous
the gym is where people go to either socialize or make use of equipment in order to change their bodies- some to change their lives. It's like the equivalent of me saying I don't go to all you can eat buffet's because that's where all the fat people are!!!
it's rude- it's 'fit shaming' and it's totally inaccurate. people of ALL types- backgrounds, sizes, and ages come to the gym... as well as to all you can eat buffets.
now-if you don't WANT to do that at the gym that's totally fine! but all it is- it's a room- with stuff in it- kind of like your 'gym' is a room with an elliptical in it... you know- a room with equipment and stuff in it. You can go wherever you want to change your life. it isn't NEEDED to go to the box gym- but- saying it's where the fit people go- that's incorrect.0 -
I totally get the "I'm too fat, afraid of judgement" thing. I think it's legit, and normal for someone to feel.
That said, you shouldn't use it as a crutch. It's ultimately an excuse to not do what you need to do to get better, and it's 100% within your power to just, ****ing, do it.
The truth of the matter is nobody is going to judge you for being fat any more than they would anyplace else. So the math is a wash, and you should just go do it anyways.
Sit down, pick up a book like New Rules of Lifting for Women, LEARN about how to actually hit your goals, and execute. If you know you've got a body like that hot girl next to you, but you're just not there YET, then she starts looking like a dumbass for saying anything different doesn't she?0 -
When you come to a gym, and you're not in shape, you get dissed a lot.
People sneer at you, class leaders tell you you should lose weight before you show up, etc.
That's terrible1 You must have been to a really awful gym! I've been a member of tons of gyms and found that pretty much everyone there is only interested in themselves. However I realise it often only takes one look / overheard comment to destroy a person's confidence.0 -
The only thing wrong with the gym is that it is in a town that's an hour and a half away. :sad:
I'm looking to get myself a weight set and bench. I'll set up in the garage beside my husband's woodworking stuff once he's insulated the walls. Cant wait! Until then, it's nerd fitness and kickboxing.0 -
I totally get the "I'm too fat, afraid of judgement" thing. I think it's legit, and normal for someone to feel.
That said, you shouldn't use it as a crutch. It's ultimately an excuse to not do what you need to do to get better, and it's 100% within your power to just, ****ing, do it.
The truth of the matter is nobody is going to judge you for being fat any more than they would anyplace else. So the math is a wash, and you should just go do it anyways.
Sit down, pick up a book like New Rules of Lifting for Women, LEARN about how to actually hit your goals, and execute. If you know you've got a body like that hot girl next to you, but you're just not there YET, then she starts looking like a dumbass for saying anything different doesn't she?
great post.
Agreed with the first bolded- I feel like people some how think everyone in the gym has ALWAYS been that way- and they were just born... they don't. A lot of them were over weight and uneducated. But they educated themselves. And did the following bolded part
I think this is important to realize people who are succesfful at ANYTHING- economics- money- relationships- working out- personal professional- ANYTHING... they CHASE knowledge. They look for it- they scour the lands to find it- rather than just saying "this isn't my home- this isn't my place I know nothing" so I can't or won't.
Don't give up before you even try!!! it's hard to start when you don't know anything- I know this- i struggle with it- but you only get better by learning and doing.
So learn.
and then DO!!!0 -
For me, I love being in the gym, but I stay away from the weight room because I don't usually have a spot, and I don't particularly like the idea of some dude coming over and wanting to "teach me" how to lift and usually that's coupled with creepiness. It irritates me. Obviously there are people out there who aren't like that, but a lone blonde walks into the weight room and isn't 100% sure on what to do with some of it, it's like all of a sudden I'm a target in some way and I just want to be left alone.0
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I'm a women and I LOVE working out and sweating and the gym, I love sports and I love it because makes me feel a lot better about myself.
About the "I'm too fat, afraid of judgement" thing, I think people need to understand everyone starts somewhere.
You don't owe anything to no one. You are at the gym to change yourself and to satisfy yourself. Don't care about others.0 -
Convenience and time and I don't know what I'm doing - I recently started lifting following guidance from the New rules of lifting for Women - where basicly they debunk the myth that if we lift - we will become all big and bulky and manly looking - totally not true.
I would prefer to work out alone, at my home, at my convenience - but alas - I don't own a bench press much less a squat rack.
My biggest reason for not going to the gym - is I don't know where to start or how to "lift" properly so as to not look like an idiot or hurt myself. Cardio is simple and my go to exercise - but there are SO MANY benefits to lifting... and I've found that I really really like it a lot.0 -
The best defense against insecurity in the gym is knowing what you're doing in the gym. I mean picking up a book about the fundamentals, not just listening to friends or celebrities, and learning about the basics.
If you know what you're doing, and you know you're on track, then believe me, you really will stop caring so much about what other people think, or maybe even at all. And as you see yourself making progress, it'll compound this.
Most of the dumbest **** that I have heard in the gym has come from some of the fittest people, who attribute their fitness to crap science or approaches, and simply got lucky that it had some elements in there worked in their favor.
Again, do yourself a favor and pick up "New Rules of Lifting for Women" so you can get aquainted with the basics.0 -
The gym that I like (large, clean with the good variety of equipment) is usually out of my budget. Going to something small and stinking doesn't give me the same good feeling about the workout. I don't like membership ideas either. I feel once I paid for the membership, I am obligated to go there. I have a small gym at work that I am using on the regular basis, but mostly prefer to work out at home (saves tons of time). For those ladies who think that everybody judging them -- you are totally wrong! The reality is that nobody cared about you. Especially those masculine guys -- they only care about themselves! Most of the people come there to do a workout and go mind their business. It is all in your head! Get over it and enjoy your workout.0
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I have a friend that won't join my gym (won't even come when I have a free pass for her) because "I don't work out with guys". :laugh:
She claims that they are all just there to oogle the girls and get dates. I tell her over and over again that everyone either has their headphones in and does their own thing, or creates mild chit-chat with people you see often. She won't believe me. Oh well.0 -
I don't think it's always in someone's head. Some folks in gyms might be rude. Folks can be rude and stare anywhere, so I don't think it should dictate what you do, but it's not like it's always your imagination.
I had the receptionist at my Y hang out in the locker room a lot, before her workouts I assume. I don't know what she was up to; I think it's rude to pay too much attention
Well she actually asked me once in the locker room whether I had been putting on weight. I'm standing there trying to put my underwear on behind a teeny locker door and this is the conversation she decides to have with me? Wtf? 0 -
I used to gravitate towards the cardio area only because I didn't know what I was doing in the weight section. I still consider myself a strength training newbie but having a trainer has helped a lot with confidence with machines and dumbbells.
I never had much trouble with the body image issue at the gym because I realized a long time ago that most people aren't thinking about me and watching me extensively, they're focused on themselves and their workout. However, I understand that people who are very overweight/obese may have issues in a gym environment I'm not exposed to.
I'm currently at a small, private gym that caters to serious lifters and yes, some of the women look like fitness models, it's crazy. I just try to remember that it takes a lot of time and effort for them to maintain their physiques and if I stay dedicated it'll pay off for me too.0 -
well I do...
I HATE THE GYM!
I am a cardio gal
all done outside!0 -
The gym is my favorite place to be! I have loved it since the day i got a personal trainer and got my butt kicked so bad i couldnt move lol. When i realized what i was capable of....i never looked back! Im sad when i dont go.0
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I don't struggle with the gym. I'm a dancer and very active outdoors, but I've also been a gym goer (I lift heavy weights & strength train) since I was 18 (and even worked there). The gym has always been a big and rewarding aspect of my life in a lot of ways (fitness, work, time to myself, a social outlet).0
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My biggest reason for not going to the gym - is I don't know where to start or how to "lift" properly so as to not look like an idiot or hurt myself. Cardio is simple and my go to exercise - but there are SO MANY benefits to lifting... and I've found that I really really like it a lot.
but you can learn. don't let not knowing stop you!!!
you learned how to cook right? how? you learned- you did some research picked a recipe and tried it.
Sewing? same thing- buy a pattern- read the directions- look up what the words mean
new job? gotta learn how to do something on excel? look it up
same thing I think even BIGGER issue is the NAMES of things to look up people don't know. I look up exercises constantly- I don't know their names- some have traditional names- some do not. But I search for them. you don't learn about it till you become aware of it- and then learn some stuff about it.
new rules of lifting
starting strength
strong curves
even googling/youtubing how to properly squat, dead lift, over head press and bench... will get you off to the right track
(that being said- watch LOTS of videos/read LOTS- so you don't read ONE bad article and learn the wrong way- if you read lots you'll have a bigger comprehensive understanding over the concept)
followed up with 'ask' ask someone who knows. forums have form checks- there are people at gyms who DO know how to lift. Notice them and ask for a form check.
it's OKAY to be scared or nervous about something you don't know. But don't let it hold you back!0 -
I'm not big on the gym. I had a gym membership, but was annoyed with the "meat head" high school and college boys that congregate around the weight machines.
Instead of renewing my membership, I just bought a weight bench and weights to use at home. I already had a treadmill. I also bought p90X.
Now, I can workout in the comfort of my home without listening to the grunting of meat heads.
ETA: Being intimidated was not an issue for me bc I'm a fairly fit individual. I just can't stand when people go to the gym to socialize and take up space, which is basically what they do at our local gym.0 -
For me, it is because I am unsure of what to do and I feel intimidated. I am working with a personal trainer now who is showing me how to do a variety of things in the gym (free weights, cables, stability ball, resistant bands, and Pilates) and the intimidation is decreasing but I have yet to go at it on my own. Prior to working with the trainer I would do the treadmill or elliptical because that is what I knew how to do. It was easier to do what I knew than to be embarrassed for doing the weights incorrectly and being laughed at.
This is the same for me too. I look like a *kitten* wandering around the weight area like a lost child.0 -
I personally love going to the gym. But it is a meat market at the Gold's I belong to...so someone who is feeling self conscious about their size/weight may not feel comfortable. I totally get it and was feeling that way 40 pounds ago myself.0
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In my experience ( and I am very big and this may not be everyone reasoning) it's because people have either told me my sessions are not long enough or that I haven't worked hard enough or because they have asked me how I have the bare faced cheek to even attend seeing as I look like a bulga whale. Unsurprisingly it is only now that I have access to a gym at work and work closely with the sports therapist in my role as a mental health nurse that I have tried again. The difference is that the people from work that attend, although very fit are very supportive of my efforts.
WTF kind of gym were you going to? I'm not a small woman, but I love the gym and I workout hard. I get nothing but encouragement from the guys and fit ladies in the gym. Glad you found a better environment. Sheesh.0 -
The best defense against insecurity in the gym is knowing what you're doing in the gym. I mean picking up a book about the fundamentals, not just listening to friends or celebrities, and learning about the basics.
If you know what you're doing, and you know you're on track, then believe me, you really will stop caring so much about what other people think, or maybe even at all. And as you see yourself making progress, it'll compound this.
Most of the dumbest **** that I have heard in the gym has come from some of the fittest people, who attribute their fitness to crap science or approaches, and simply got lucky that it had some elements in there worked in their favor.
Again, do yourself a favor and pick up "New Rules of Lifting for Women" so you can get aquainted with the basics.
Every word of this is so true. And I'm not afraid to admit that I usually practice a new lift at home without weights and with the book in front of a mirror before I do it at the gym to make sure I have a good idea of what the form is and how it should look. Once I feel like I know what I'm doing, I have no reason to worry about anyone else in the weight room.0 -
I'm just going to spam this:
The best defense against insecurity in the gym is knowing what you're doing in the gym. I mean picking up a book about the fundamentals, not just listening to friends or celebrities, and learning about the basics.
If you know what you're doing, and you know you're on track, then believe me, you really will stop caring so much about what other people think, or maybe even at all. And as you see yourself making progress, it'll compound this.Every word of this is so true. And I'm not afraid to admit that I usually practice a new lift at home without weights and with the book in front of a mirror before I do it at the gym to make sure I have a good idea of what the form is and how it should look. Once I feel like I know what I'm doing, I have no reason to worry about anyone else in the weight room.
I'll take it one step further, I just practice in front of the gym with the mirrors... I use the YMCA in a bright new shiny buidling... not exactly a meat market or otherwise... I underestimated how dumb I might look doing it though lol
But hell, my squat gets respect now.0 -
I used to not like the gym because I'm a bit overweight so when you work out you get gross and sweaty and I was already self conscious as it was so heck no I wasn't going to work out in front of people! Lol.
Now I stopped caring because I realized everyone is usually more focused on their workout than staring at me, just like I'm more focused on mine than caring at looking at everyone around me...but my boyfriend doesn't like the gym because he feels self conscious too now because he can't lift as much as he used to when he played football/wrestling and stuff so he sees other guys do more and it discourages him.0 -
my 'off' days- I spend working on technique with the bar... yeah the bar.
dead lift- squat OHP and bench... and all by the OHP is not only in the triple digits- it's BW or higher.
no shame- none practicing form- anyone who gives you crap about that knows NOTHING about real lifting.0 -
I'm kind of surprised that some women are intimidated by men at the gym. I pay them no mind (besides sneaking looks at the hot ones haha). I mean, in no way am I competing with men and I doubt they care what I'm doing - unless I was an expert lifter and could show them up I guess..0
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