Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

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  • DesireeNL
    DesireeNL Posts: 220 Member
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    Isn't it also because there are tons of options for exercise. I think a lot of it simply has to do with personal preference. Picking a sport which they enjoy doing and fits in their schedule. When I was a kid and then teenager I loved playing soccer. As I got older I looked for individual sports like swimming, hiking and running.

    I did actually join a gym last week after reading about heavy lifting here on mfp and reading nrolfw. I never considered this as an exercise option before. And I do find it very intimidating. I haven't gone there to work out just yet.
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.

    I didn't feel like reading all the threads but NinerBuff is usually on-point.

    1. Media is definitely an issue: Magazines display female bodybuilders and women automatically thing that if they touch a weight that they'll get huge muscles when they don't realize that like pro male bodybuilders, pro female bodybuilders are also on steroids, insulin, etc. That's why you get **** like Pilates with their don't get bulky, come do Pilates and "elongate" your muscles. Huh, whut? I can make my muscles longer?

    Media's emphasis on promoting supplements for weight loss. I mean seriously, if there was a magic supplement it would be so highly promoted and used by any type of athlete that has to cut weight for their event that it would as mainstream as Flinstones vitamins.

    2. Men: Let's face it, most guys can be judgemental or creepers, or a combination of both. Some men are accepting and don't care about lifting in the gym but there are many that are. And then there are some men that because of their sheer size just visually intimidate women, even some men, even though they might be nice as can be.

    3. Self-Image: Insecurity can make it hard to exercise in public. Same goes for me though.
  • JenniferH81
    JenniferH81 Posts: 285 Member
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    I would never step foot into a gym. I honestly feel I'm too overweight and people will stare at me and comment about it. I have an elliptical at home I use. That's good enough.

    The gym is where the fit people are, and they will judge me. It's a scary place in my opinion.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    *shrug* I love the gym.... Except when there is some f-er curling in squat rack... or even worse doing shrugs... :laugh:
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I dont struggle with the gym... I simply struggle with dragging my *kitten* out of bed in the morning.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    I don't know about "women", but I hate the gym because there are other people there.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    Male or female, everyone will have their own set of reasons for going!
  • Italiangrey
    Italiangrey Posts: 12
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    I love the gym! And i always see a lot of women there. No one should feel insecure, there are certainly places you can go that are less judgmental.
  • juliewatkin
    juliewatkin Posts: 764 Member
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    I read through a number of the posts and many of them mirrored how I felt the first time I joined a gym EVER when I was 42. I would spend the lion's share of the time on the elliptical s walking (pedaling?) away watching the people in the free weight area. They all looked like they knew exactly what they were doing and I didn't have a clue. Most of them were young men who were full of piss and T and I was too unsure of myself to venture into 'boys' land. I stuck to the machines in a separate room that I had been specifically instructed how to use.

    After a year of ever increasing boredom of walking/pedaling I forced myself into the boys side and made myself do at least one thing. It was super scary and intimidating at first because I felt like I knew frig all.

    The more I forced myself, the more comfortable I became and realized no one cared what I was doing. That in itself is amazingly freeing. No one cares :)

    The more I learned, the more I realized that a lot of people don't know what they're doing and are making it up.

    Now I'm almost 49 and have been competing for over 5 years including the IPF Worlds Masters Powerlifting Championships. If the skinny, scared woman on the elliptical can do it, I figure anyone can. It just takes small steps.
  • irismstroup
    irismstroup Posts: 11 Member
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    I Love the gym... fatty and all.. at least I am there. However, the free weights room; its a bit intimidating to me because it is filled with mostly men... a lot of whom don't re-rack their weights but leave them on the bars, some I'm worried would be too heavy for me to even try to remove... and I don't want to appear as " a damsel in distress" or have them think that is a part I'm trying to play.
    I suppose a lack of knowledge would deter any one away from something they'd want to try. For me, its just about getting what needs to be done, done. The Machines are great to keep your form in check especially if you go at it with no spot/ Trainer or are beginning.
  • jobegone
    jobegone Posts: 91
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    Having skimmed most of the comments above I agree and disagree with the majority of them.
    I love the gym - I hate the mirrors in the class room though, much prefer not to see me joggling around when doing BodyCombat, but thats my own issue.

    I dont use the weights section of the gym because like so many people here, I'm intimidated by the big bulky men and I dont fully think I know what to do.

    But since I do Bodypump, I go to a section on another floor where they have a few weights etc and do my own little Bodypump workout there, where you dont get the bodybuilders. I am interested in doing more lifting though after joining this site and ready up about it which means I'll probably have to venture down at some point.

    As for the treadmill etc, just hop on and go. Frig what people think. Yeh my boobs probably jiggle and I might look abit daft being red and sweaty but hey, its making me fitter and better. Being bigger I think people assume aswell that your gona run for like a minute before passing out (which is fine when your starting out by the way) so I love getting on beside someone who gives you that 'look' then outrunning them. Competitive?? moi?? Underneath though, to me it shows you cant judge people.

    That little skinny person, cycling whilst on their phone not breaking a sweat - if you want to use the gym for that, fine.
    But respect the fact that people go there to destress, get fitter, stronger and healthier.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    I used to love the gym. I had loads of friends there. Many of my friends were also instructors or PTs. A lot of my social life revolved around it. I was slim, fit, strong. I was 9 minute miling. I could cycle for hours. I could swim for miles. I could out-squat my body weight. The gym was like my second home.

    ...

    Stuff happened... I got injured. I took a long time to get better. I gained a lot of weight (40+ pounds on a smallish frame). I lost fitness. I lost strength.

    When I came back there was a time when I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Felt like dying in a spin class. Could barely run a 12 minute mile. Had 3 days of DOMS after squatting 20kg. Couldn't do a 30 second plank!! And bloody mirrors everywhere just to remind you how fat and unfit you are.

    I found it really hard psychologically to get back into it. It's getting easier and I can't wait to love it again, but am not quite there yet.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    I think a very large part of it is that women are afraid that they will be judged as somehow "imperfect" --- too fat, too thin, to muscular, too this, not enough that.... ironically, because THEY ARE SO HARSHLY JUDGMENTAL of others.

    I agree. The judgement and the "looks" don't usually come from men. They couldn't care less.
  • Nicgianni1
    Nicgianni1 Posts: 13
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    I definitely do not like going to the gym. Stinky, have to wait for machines, dirty too. But, I was about 30 lbs overweight and knew I had to do something.
    I started doing three things that helped me lose the weight and I have kept it off for some time:
    1. Mild cardiovascular by brisk walking for 30 minutes a day.
    2. Strength training with light weights in my home.
    3. I discovered really and truly how to eat. I learned to eat better at www.womens-weightloss.com.
    That is how I handle weight loss. :)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    The gym is where the fit people are, and they will judge me. It's a scary place in my opinion.

    this is just ridiculous

    the gym is where people go to either socialize or make use of equipment in order to change their bodies- some to change their lives. It's like the equivalent of me saying I don't go to all you can eat buffet's because that's where all the fat people are!!!

    it's rude- it's 'fit shaming' and it's totally inaccurate. people of ALL types- backgrounds, sizes, and ages come to the gym... as well as to all you can eat buffets.

    now-if you don't WANT to do that at the gym that's totally fine! but all it is- it's a room- with stuff in it- kind of like your 'gym' is a room with an elliptical in it... you know- a room with equipment and stuff in it. You can go wherever you want to change your life. it isn't NEEDED to go to the box gym- but- saying it's where the fit people go- that's incorrect.
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
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    I totally get the "I'm too fat, afraid of judgement" thing. I think it's legit, and normal for someone to feel.

    That said, you shouldn't use it as a crutch. It's ultimately an excuse to not do what you need to do to get better, and it's 100% within your power to just, ****ing, do it.

    The truth of the matter is nobody is going to judge you for being fat any more than they would anyplace else. So the math is a wash, and you should just go do it anyways.

    Sit down, pick up a book like New Rules of Lifting for Women, LEARN about how to actually hit your goals, and execute. If you know you've got a body like that hot girl next to you, but you're just not there YET, then she starts looking like a dumbass for saying anything different doesn't she?
  • MaryEliz011013
    MaryEliz011013 Posts: 1
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    When you come to a gym, and you're not in shape, you get dissed a lot.
    People sneer at you, class leaders tell you you should lose weight before you show up, etc.

    That's terrible1 You must have been to a really awful gym! I've been a member of tons of gyms and found that pretty much everyone there is only interested in themselves. However I realise it often only takes one look / overheard comment to destroy a person's confidence.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    The only thing wrong with the gym is that it is in a town that's an hour and a half away. :sad:

    I'm looking to get myself a weight set and bench. I'll set up in the garage beside my husband's woodworking stuff once he's insulated the walls. Cant wait! Until then, it's nerd fitness and kickboxing.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I totally get the "I'm too fat, afraid of judgement" thing. I think it's legit, and normal for someone to feel.

    That said, you shouldn't use it as a crutch. It's ultimately an excuse to not do what you need to do to get better, and it's 100% within your power to just, ****ing, do it.

    The truth of the matter is nobody is going to judge you for being fat any more than they would anyplace else. So the math is a wash, and you should just go do it anyways.

    Sit down, pick up a book like New Rules of Lifting for Women, LEARN about how to actually hit your goals, and execute. If you know you've got a body like that hot girl next to you, but you're just not there YET, then she starts looking like a dumbass for saying anything different doesn't she?

    great post.
    Agreed with the first bolded- I feel like people some how think everyone in the gym has ALWAYS been that way- and they were just born... they don't. A lot of them were over weight and uneducated. But they educated themselves. And did the following bolded part
    I think this is important to realize people who are succesfful at ANYTHING- economics- money- relationships- working out- personal professional- ANYTHING... they CHASE knowledge. They look for it- they scour the lands to find it- rather than just saying "this isn't my home- this isn't my place I know nothing" so I can't or won't.

    Don't give up before you even try!!! it's hard to start when you don't know anything- I know this- i struggle with it- but you only get better by learning and doing.

    So learn.

    and then DO!!!
  • comrade_questions
    comrade_questions Posts: 103 Member
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    For me, I love being in the gym, but I stay away from the weight room because I don't usually have a spot, and I don't particularly like the idea of some dude coming over and wanting to "teach me" how to lift and usually that's coupled with creepiness. It irritates me. Obviously there are people out there who aren't like that, but a lone blonde walks into the weight room and isn't 100% sure on what to do with some of it, it's like all of a sudden I'm a target in some way and I just want to be left alone.

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