Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?
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I'm kind of surprised that some women are intimidated by men at the gym. I pay them no mind (besides sneaking looks at the hot ones haha). I mean, in no way am I competing with men and I doubt they care what I'm doing - unless I was an expert lifter and could show them up I guess..
I work there... and I'd consider myself to be an intermediate lifter- sure I have fun competitions with people occasionally- but I dont' ever try to 'show someone up'- most expert lifters don't have time for that. they talk about lifts- getting them- not getting them- reps- technique- stuff they have learned- stuff they are tweaking with their diet but they dont' have time for such tom-foolery... they might goof off occasionally with each other- but it's not usually like that.
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I agree completely. I have been over weight most of my life, and in high school the gym was only for the athletes. Therefore I always associated any gym as being for those already healthy and not as a welcoming place to get healthy.For me, it is because I am unsure of what to do and I feel intimidated. I am working with a personal trainer now who is showing me how to do a variety of things in the gym (free weights, cables, stability ball, resistant bands, and Pilates) and the intimidation is decreasing but I have yet to go at it on my own. Prior to working with the trainer I would do the treadmill or elliptical because that is what I knew how to do. It was easier to do what I knew than to be embarrassed for doing the weights incorrectly and being laughed at.0 -
I'm kind of surprised that some women are intimidated by men at the gym. I pay them no mind (besides sneaking looks at the hot ones haha). I mean, in no way am I competing with men and I doubt they care what I'm doing - unless I was an expert lifter and could show them up I guess..
I work there... and I'd consider myself to be an intermediate lifter- sure I have fun competitions with people occasionally- but I dont' ever try to 'show someone up'- most expert lifters don't have time for that. they talk about lifts- getting them- not getting them- reps- technique- stuff they have learned- stuff they are tweaking with their diet but they dont' have time for such tom-foolery... they might goof off occasionally with each other- but it's not usually like that.
I agree. Although we will try to show each other up when we are training in a team environment but but it is just games and bull**** with each other. We make up high rep games to show each other up and have a laugh. It's just within our group though when we are torturing each other.0 -
I don't compete with anybody, but myself at the gym. And it wouldn't bother me if others were competing. I don't care what anyone thinks of me at the gym. I'm there to better myself. I lift heavy for me. I'm quite small. Most people are surprised that I lift as heavy as I do. Other people lift less, other people lift a lot more. I'm also not judging anyone at the gym. We are there to do what we want to do and we are all "a work in progress" at the gym.0
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...I don't struggle at the gym what so ever. How come most men struggle in the bedroom?0
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...I don't struggle at the gym what so ever. How come most men struggle in the bedroom?
you mean like having a hard time falling asleep and stuff?0 -
i have friends that are smaller than me say they don't like going because they don't want "people looking at them" LOL ...i've tried to assure them that NO ONE CARES !!! once you are in the throws of your workout you don't have time to be looking at people - hell i'm concentrating on breathing and NOT passing out !0
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...I don't struggle at the gym what so ever. How come most men struggle in the bedroom?
you mean like having a hard time falling asleep and stuff?
I think that's what she means. I used to struggle with that and started using ZMA. It worked wonders
It actually does work well for sleep.0 -
Thanks for asking this question.
I'm pushing sixty and not as strong as I would like. I wish I could say I wasn't intimidated - I've been a feminist since the 70s - but I am. I'm afraid of looking foolish. I love the gym for cardio machines and spin class, but I feel intimidated by the free weights. I always feel like the men and women who are so obviously more fit and strong than I am are somehow more entitled to the space.
Working on getting over it.0 -
I personally have access to my campus gym, but I don't use it. When I have used it I just used the cardio machines. I am not comfortable asking a random stranger to show me how to use the weight machines. I don't want to look stupid trying to figure the machines out on my own either. So for me I'm just too embarrassed, right now. I am however only 13 lbs. from having a healthy BMI, then once I'm no longer "overweight" I plan on forcing myself to get over my fears and learn how to strength train.0
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...I don't struggle at the gym what so ever. How come most men struggle in the bedroom?
you mean like having a hard time falling asleep and stuff?
I think that's what she means. I used to struggle with that and started using ZMA. It worked wonders
It actually does work well for sleep.
yeah no- I'm 99% certain that's NOT what she meant- but well- that's how I read it- and I'm dirty as all get out... but yeah- I think that's totally a valid question!0 -
I don't lift cause I can't. If I do them my back will be toast.
I run because I like it.
I hate gyms & regret the one & only time I joined one at the start of this year.0 -
I don't lift cause I can't. If I do them my back will be toast.
I run because I like it.
I hate gyms & regret the one & only time I joined one at the start of this year.
how is running less impact than lifting?
I don't understand?0 -
Idk. Why do so many people have trouble spelling losing correctly?0
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I don't lift cause I can't. If I do them my back will be toast.
I run because I like it.
I hate gyms & regret the one & only time I joined one at the start of this year.
how is running less impact than lifting?
I don't understand?
For me it is. If I lift those discs of mine are a goner, but I run soft. Almost no impact for me when I run. I actually get more when I walk.
My discs don't need to extra compression or weight on them...... hence a main reason for my losing weight.0 -
1). Op: So happy to hear you're not hating! And great that you're not over generalizing either:flowerforyou:
2). I think the losing/loosing spelling mistake issue has to do with so many ****ing people ****ing up that the rest of us start to doubt
what we have always known to be correct
3). And wtf!! What is the difference between running and lifting and how it relates to an injury???? I don't even know where to start. Smh0 -
i don't like gyms, it's yet another place i pay for, and end up not going because of numerous reasons, mainly being inconvenience.
I do like my weight bench and weight set. readily accessible in my basement. any time.
But, i like running too. frankly, before i started running, i couldn't have started lifting, because even looking at those darn weight plates would have had me out of breath.
and i see more guys selling their weight lifting equipment on kijiji than women. care to elaborate on that?0 -
^^I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.
I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.
It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
truuf
I was working out with a TRX in the park when a teenage boy and friends- tasked with taking their younger siblings to the park stopped by.
Teenage boys were talking about whatever- and left the girl about 10 or so and the other young boy to their own devices.
And she stopped and looked at me and goes- are you working out??
>me> yup
>girl> I need to lose weight too
<internal me> SHOCKED FACE
>me> oh sweetie- I'm not trying to lose weight- I'm trying to just get stronger and faster and better
>girl> oh I drink milk
<internal me> FACEPALM
I was so depressed that her only connection with working out was to lose weight- I think that says A LOT about what our societies children are being raised to believe. it was depressing.
I so agree! I hate that mentality that people only work out if they want to lose weight. One of my biggest pet peeves.0 -
...I don't struggle at the gym what so ever. How come most men struggle in the bedroom?
Funny. I don't struggle either!
It really interests me why so many men struggle in the bedroom though ....IMO it's because they think it's all about reaching the "goal", and it's tied even deeper to their self-esteem than with women. Not to mention that men are not encouraged to be emotionally vulnerable and to just enjoy the moments.0 -
I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
I'm a guy, I struggled with the gym too. In fact, i hate those places.
There's a gym outside my front door where nobody gawps at a mirror for 20 minutes and as many miles of road as I could ever wish to run.0 -
I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.
I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.
Discuss.
I'm a guy, I struggled with the gym too. In fact, i hate those places.
There's a gym outside my front door where nobody gawps at a mirror for 20 minutes and as many miles of road as I could ever wish to run.
:flowerforyou:0 -
3). And wtf!! What is the difference between running and lifting and how it relates to an injury???? I don't even know where to start. Smh
Well lets see. My Dr, surgeon & physio all told me running was great.But if I dare lift.... forget it.
Plus I don't want to risk it. My back has never been better since I took up running over12 months ago. Yet when I decided to try lifting at the gym.... I was in more pain & my back ended up worse.
So don't ask me.... I'm just the person living with it. I know what is working for my back & what is not. I guess for some they don't understand some injuries at all. Basically MY BACK DOES NOT NEED EXTRA WEIGHT COMPRESSING IT & LIFTING WOULD DO THAT.... like hello.... extra weight.0 -
Plus I don't want to risk it. My back has never been better since I took up running over12 months ago. Yet when I decided to try lifting at the gym.... I was in more pain & my back ended up worse.
Whilst I appreciate you have an underlying injury concern, how do you know that crappy form hasn't exacerbated the injury? It could be that judicious exercise selection coupled with good form would actually serve to strengthen your back. Just a thought...0 -
I would disagree that women in general struggle with the gym - my fitness classes are female-dominated by far.
I think it depends on your gym.
I think a lot of girls feel uncomfortable going into the weights rooms, or even sometimes cardio rooms, which are largely male-dominated spaces. Some girls feel unconfident about how to use the machinery, and other girls might worry about being checked out/judged for being in some spaces.
Of course I think a lot of that fear is a mental thing, and once you grit your teeth and just start going into those spaces, you get used to it and it isn't a major problem.
Just a thought!0 -
I am a reformed gym hater. Honestly, it wasn't the gym I hated, but my body. I didn't want anyone to see mestruggle to learn how to use a machine or tired out super fast on the cardio machines. I was lost there. I couldnt afford a trainer so I had no one to tell me proper form or how to use machines or what plan to use and I felt like I would be a whale in a sea of thin, happpy athletic, fishies. It felt like Jr High Gym Class for the awkward tween. Then my friend who was a little bigger than me talked me in to going. I thought, if she feels safe there and comfortable then I can too. So I went. After a couple times I was less intimidated. Then I would go by myself nad go stright to the cardio machine because I din't look inexperienced if I was just on the elliptical. I would watch the pros and learn how to use machines via them but never got the balls to add them to my work out. What really helped me was taking group classes. Then I felt more comfident to try to things at the gym. Now I am pretty comfortable and have no problem doing weights but I do have anxiety if I am the only woman in the weight room and I am squatting 65 when they are squatting 350.....but I just put my headphones on and keep going!0
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- oglers
- gangs of obnoxious teenagers claiming the cable machine for an hour at a time, & not letting you work in
- disease or fungus on equipment from (in some cases) a lack of willingness to a) stay home if sick and b) wipe surfaces after use
- oglers again (can't overstate how annoying they are)
those are my top 3 annoying things, am fine with everything else. could nitpick (would like to be able to customize cardio machines for better ergonomics beyond what's possible, e.g., angle of footpad on elliptical, angle of seat on bike. sometimes the bathroom smells kind of mouldy. it would be great if most people s actual range of movement were taken into consideration when planning the layout and machine placement.)
big pluses: my gym has decent light and air quality, i am so grateful for this, having seen how bad it can get. things mostly look cleanish (it's just no patrons wipe things).
at another gym i used to go to, there was a women's only room, with a whack of dumbbells up to 50 lbs, a few machines, mats, etc. i have to admit i appreciated that, starting out, and probably would now. it was a good place to learn things without pressure or attitude. was really small though.0 -
I've never "struggled with the gym", and I think that's probably down to the fact that I spent a lot of time in them (including weight rooms) throughout my childhood and teenage years, had really active/athletic parents who also spent lots of time in the gym and lifting, and it just was never an uncomfortable or scary place to me. More like just a normal part of our lives, if that makes sense.
I see LOTS of women at gyms everywhere I've trained, so I don't think that women necessarily struggle with the gym. They seem to prefer the group classes, cardio machines, and to a somewhat lesser degree, the weight machines.
I do think a lot of women struggle with free weights and being in that part of the gym, though.
While my own experience has been different, I can understand this avoidance in the abstract. The free weights section is full of guys--some of them quite large and scary looking. They are sweaty and making weird noises sometimes. Some of them are yelling and dropping barbells/dumbbells. The area appears dirty/grubby to varying degrees. There are all sorts of misconceptions about the danger of free weights. The weight plates and barbells look huge and heavy, and are totally imposing compared to the weight stacks on the machines or the weights they might be used to from Body Pump or whatever....it's just a really foreign environment, I guess. And I think stepping into that section or room probably feels sort of like being the new kid in class. Awkward, a bit scary, you aren't really sure how to behave or what to do, you feel like everyone is staring at you and thinking what a dumb *kitten* you are and WTF are you doing there? So it's just easier/more comfortable to stick with the stuff you know. Treadmill, elliptical, group ex classes, etc.0 -
I love group fitness classes at the gym. They tend to have a lot more females and I feel more comfortable working out with females and in groups. I will tolerate the treadmill area if I have to.
But like many females, I do NOT like the free weights area, either. Some of the men are intimidating, I also often feel like I'm being stared at. I don't mind the men in the group fitness classes at all. They're totally cool.
Am I being unfair and judging a book by its cover? Perhaps. I can admit this but as a woman I'm going to go what I'm most comfortable with by default.
I used to do free weights more in the past and got over the unease, I could perhaps again. At the moment I'm pretty happy with the body pump weight classes for toning, though.0 -
I did stop going to this one part of the free weights section if a certain couple of guys were there. I was doing squats (back before I stopped doing squats), and they were talking about personal stuff/gossiping all the time. I was right beside them. They gave me dirty looks to hurry up (or just that I could overhear them). I'm thinking 'go gossip somewhere else'. They never did. Later, they'd stop their conversation and stare at me the whole time, looking pissed.
I shouldn't have stopped using the equipment right there. I know that. But man it gets tough when someone is trying to intimidate you day after day. I still don't get why you have to stand in a certain spot to gossip and not lift a dam*ed thing. All they ever did is stand around from what I could see. It was a big weight room and usually practically empty. Move! (Or am I wrong in that?)0 -
I did stop going to this one part of the free weights section if a certain couple of guys were there. I was doing squats (back before I stopped doing squats), and they were talking about personal stuff/gossiping all the time. I was right beside them. They gave me dirty looks to hurry up (or just that I could overhear them). I'm thinking 'go gossip somewhere else'. They never did. Later, they'd stop their conversation and stare at me the whole time, looking pissed.
I shouldn't have stopped using the equipment right there. I know that. But man it gets tough when someone is trying to intimidate you day after day. I still don't get why you have to stand in a certain spot to gossip and not lift a dam*ed thing. All they ever did is stand around from what I could see. It was a big weight room and usually practically empty. Move! (Or am I wrong in that?)
No, you're not wrong. They marked out that territory, it felt better to them than the area by the fountain, but you had a right to be there.
idk.. some people are better than others at blocking out that kind of negative energy. I have a hard time ignoring it (hence my hatred of oglers). But my irritation at those teenagers I mentioned earlier was much lessened when I decided to start asking to work in, instead of hoping they'd notice (which is what I initially did, because I'm the kind of person who would notice, and who would cut a workout short if I saw someone else was waiting). I'd ask with a smile, you know, being friendly etc, but with the attitude that I had a right to time on that machine, and showing them I had an expectation to be treated the same.
And while sometimes the teens were little douches regardless, everyone else (of whom I was also intimidated! meaning, burly men) was either polite or would grudgingly let me work in, which was good enough for me.
Now, the staring I do sometimes find too much to bear. Especially because lately I can't work out at the intensity I'd prefer, which would better help me tune out the 'noise' of other people's whatever. So to counter that, I have been wearing really hideous workout clothes, and I am going to get some kind of music playing device asap.0
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