Not Hating, Why Do Women Struggle With The Gym?

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  • Juanwi
    Juanwi Posts: 68 Member
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    I didn't have people just looking. I had people coming up as I was working out and asking for my number or trying to have a conversation with me. Really not the time I want to have those kind of conversations!
  • ErinMLB
    ErinMLB Posts: 100 Member
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    It actually depends what time of day I go, mid afternoon or late evening, LOVE the gym. I've recently started doing weight training and although it's mostly guys there, these ones are helpful and super supportive. Even though I'm at a very low starting point, they respect me just for trying. Evenings from 5-9ish suck, the gym gets full, and seems like for the most part the weight area is full of guys who are full of themeselves, they either look at my *kitten* the entire time I squat. Or smirk at me while I struggle with bench presses. Usually I walk out of the gym feeling defeated on those kinds of nights. It's completly uncomfortable.

    Aside from that, I think gyms should have weekly intro nights, where they show people how to use the machines properly, or what they are even for, it's fairly intimidating to walk into.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I'm not sure I completely understand what you're asking. If you mean why are a lot of women reluctant to go to the gym and lift heavy weights, I think that is a dead horse at this point. It's usually one of two reasons:

    1. They think lifting will make them look like 'roided out superfreaks.
    2. They don't want to lift in front of other people, either because they don't know what they're doing at all and have no idea where to start or because they are worried about being scrutinized by stronger, more experienced lifters.

    Since I train at home, I only have to do the gym thing when I'm traveling for work, and that can be even more awkward because most hotel gyms don't have power racks, so you're left with machines and dumbbells. And it never fails that when I'm doing hip thrusts with a huge dumbbell or doing Turkish get-ups, some bro is going to come over and ask why I'm doing what I'm doing. And when my answer doesn't satisfy him, he will proceed to to tell me what I should be doing instead. It's just a pain in the *kitten*.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I didn't have people just looking. I had people coming up as I was working out and asking for my number or trying to have a conversation with me. Really not the time I want to have those kind of conversations!

    two solutions- wear headphones (regardless of if you are using them or not)- and ignore people
    Second
    "I don't date people from my gym"

    period. that's a good rule of thumb- gym romances when they dissolve are messy and complicated. Just be honest about it and say this is my time for me and I don't want awkward situations.... trust me- I've had to dodge/dance/duck/dive around that more than once.

    it sucks- and it sucks when people don't take a hint- but being a bit brisk is helpful- I nod and smile to everyone and just go about my business.


    And when my answer doesn't satisfy him, he will proceed to to tell me what I should be doing instead. It's just a pain in the *kitten*.

    that's annoying- I like to ask them if they like how I look? really? you don't think I look fat?

    oh- no? I don't

    then clearly what I'm doing is working- and I don't need your help. But thanks anyway.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    2. They don't want to lift in front of other people, either because they don't know what they're doing at all and have no idea where to start or because they are worried about being scrutinized by stronger, more experienced lifters.


    This.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...

    Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."

    It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.

    lol, was it SHAPE magazine? That one makes me lol all the time.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    I think working out at home vs. The gym is more about convenience/economics for more women that it is anything else.
    and as far as women being strong-you don't have to lift heavy weights to be strong. It's about what kind of body type each of us is looking for.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I quit the gym because I hated wasting time driving to and from the gym. If it took about a half hour to get there and get back, plus an hour exercise, there was two hours gone out of my day.

    Now I do all my running outdoors, and bought my own bench and barbell set to lift weights at home.
  • FerretBuellerr
    FerretBuellerr Posts: 468 Member
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    I struggle with the gym for a lot of the reasons listed here, but mostly unfamiliarity and feelings of discomfort associated with unfamiliarity and intimidation of others.

    The last time I was shown how to use the weight machines I was in high school, so anytime I've gone to the gym I longingly look over at the weights but am too nervous to approach them for fear of hurting myself from improper use, or just looking like a complete fool. The only gym I've attempted going to is at my university, and it's filled mostly with bros or male/female athletes trying to stay in shape in the off season, and I find that very intimidating as a person just trying to get into shape.

    Gyms are also pretty expensive, at least when you're a student or work part-time for minimum wage. If it wasn't included in my tuition, I probably would have never even gone to a gym.

    Edit: I also prefer being outside to get my activity than in a gym. It smells better. :smile:
  • FatOldBat
    FatOldBat Posts: 3,307 Member
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    What are your generalizations based off of???? When I go to the gym I see MORE women than men working out and working out HARD. No self image issues etc. I believe you are NOT HATING but you are entirely oblivious to reality when it comes to women and the gym. Could be because you are a man and you are too concerned with your own self image and only paying attention to the other men that are in the gym to compare yourself to.

    Could also be the time you go to the gym is when ALL of the hard working women are home raising their families/kids etc.
    Might I suggest you study your generalization further by going to the gym at various times throughout the day and actually pay attention to how many women are in there busting *kitten*.

    I know many men who have way more "issues" about going to the gym than I do women! :)
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    Some of it is kid related too. I don't know about anyone else, but it's difficult to get a sitter regularly enough to get to the gym. I have to rely on working out at home when naps/bedtime allows it.
  • emilydiehl08
    emilydiehl08 Posts: 54
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    I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,639 Member
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    I am NOT hating. Just asking because this really interests me. IMO it's because they think it's all about running and loosing weight, and it's tied even deeper to their self-image than with men. Not to mention that women are not encouraged to be physically strong/able like men are.

    I know many, many women like the gym, but I'm making a general statement here.

    Discuss.

    I don't hate the gym, I just prefer running, so I do that. I go to the gym just once per week because I get in free as a guest on my hubby's membership.
  • sokkache
    sokkache Posts: 220 Member
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    Surprisingly, there are actually a lot of high school girls who work out just as much as the football guys. In my town, there's a place owned by a local trainer and they do specific training workout sessions for athletes and summer memberships specifically for athletes as well as team work outs. I know many women and men that go there, both young and old. Sometimes it's the football team that works out with the volleyball team, they're all doing the same training and it's really good.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    Because creepers gonna creep

    It's funny how many woman complain about the men staring at them. I am happily married and am not looking to hook up with anyone. But I find myself staring at everyone especially the buff guys.

    lol, me too. im not interested in flirting at all, but im a people watcher... I just like to look around, know my surroundings, and see everything / everyone...
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I get discouraged. I don't know much about working out. I have tried to do my research but when I'm in there with machines and free weights and people floating around doing intense workouts, I get overwhelmed. I don't understand lifting much and cardio gets boring for me. I just get stressed in there and feel hopeless. I did much better when I had a friend to go with
    this makes me sad- all these posts... I want to come work out with ALL of you ladies feeling like you are floating around hopelessly at the gym.

    sigh. I want super hero costume to come help women train with weights. seriously that's what i want to make my life's mission! It's SO satisfying... seriously. come to NJ- I shall help you all!!!
  • KatrinaWilke
    KatrinaWilke Posts: 372 Member
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    There aren't very many situations in life where I get skantily clad and go hang out in the same place as a bunch of strangers and demonstrate how strong, fast, and knowledgable about my body I am. Add in the extra pressure of being a woman and having no idea what you're doing and it's a pressure cooker!

    My little brother is in great shape and totally confident at the gym. He's never been overweight, but he's been lifing weights since he was 13. Why? Because the other boys were doing it, he played sports, AND there's that pressure to be muscular. I was not lifting at 13. I wasn't at the gym at 13. I played basketball, but we didn't hit the gym for that. Girls maybe went to the gym if they were overweight and hung out on the elliptical and that's about it. I think

    So here I am, 28 years old, and I'm walking into the gym for the first time at 28 years old (because why would I before I was overweight or an athlete, according to society) and I have no clue what the heck I'm doing. It sucked.

    Plus, there's always a guy that decides the bench press IMMEDIATELY behind me while I'm squatting and deadlifting and states at my *kitten* the entire time he's resting.

    I am just curious becaue I have never had a bad experience with the gym. Why did it suck? Were people mean to you or did you hurt yourself? Again, I am asking out of curiosity just to see what other peoples experience have been like.

    It sucked like losing my virginty sucked. No clue what I was doing, worried how I looked and what people (ok, in the virginity scenario "person") thought, and got out of there as fast as I could.

    Here's what my tour was like: So, this is the child care area. Blah blah blah 10 minutes about it. This is the group fitness area which is probably what you're most interested in. Blah blah blah 10 minutes about it. And here's the cardio stuff. When you're more advanced you can work your way over to those machines over there and follow the circuit (seriously a circuit of at least 30 machines.). The end.

    HAHA!! I love the analogy! Thanks for the response! What you need is a gym buddy. Find someone who is more comfortable with the gym and have them show you a few things. You will realize (like sex) that it's easier than you think!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Some of it is kid related too. I don't know about anyone else, but it's difficult to get a sitter regularly enough to get to the gym. I have to rely on working out at home when naps/bedtime allows it.

    Or the daycare area is kinda skeevy...
  • ren_ascent
    ren_ascent Posts: 432 Member
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    I believe it's because of magazines and media endorsing stupid broscience methods to losing weight and attaining a shape. And it starts young.

    I've noticed that girls in middle school are trying to abstain from doing physical fitness (some due to sweating, messing up their hair, or because puberty is making it harder for them) and don't know if it carries on through high school. Personally, except for female athletes, I've never known any girl growing up that just went to the gym to lift and get stronger.

    It's changing now though. May take another decade or so for some to see that the resistance training really is the ticket to a better body and not the crazy BS diets and scams that are still being passed around.
    ^^
    truuf

    I was working out with a TRX in the park when a teenage boy and friends- tasked with taking their younger siblings to the park stopped by.

    Teenage boys were talking about whatever- and left the girl about 10 or so and the other young boy to their own devices.

    And she stopped and looked at me and goes- are you working out??

    >me> yup
    >girl> I need to lose weight too

    <internal me> SHOCKED FACE

    >me> oh sweetie- I'm not trying to lose weight- I'm trying to just get stronger and faster and better
    >girl> oh I drink milk

    <internal me> FACEPALM

    I was so depressed that her only connection with working out was to lose weight- I think that says A LOT about what our societies children are being raised to believe. it was depressing.

    :brokenheart: So sad.
  • tracieangeletti
    tracieangeletti Posts: 432 Member
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    Sometimes I like to look at stupid women's magazine articles to laugh at how stupid they are. One time I picked one up and started skimming through something about "What your man loves best about you...." Some schieβe like that...

    Anyway, number 1 said something along the lines of, "That extra fat around your middle that you hate so much actually turns him on. It makes you soft and cushioned."

    It was revolting, but a lot of women and especially teenage girls believe bull**** just because it is printed in a magazine with an airbrushed woman on the cover.

    lol, was it SHAPE magazine? That one makes me lol all the time.


    Someone came to my door selling magazine subscriptions. I noticed the Shape magazine and thought that would be a good choice and help me with exercise ideas. I so want my money back. :-/

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