Arguments in the Supermarket
Replies
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“Faces out of context”
@RelCanonical OMG! THIS!!!!!!!! I’ve started lying and blaming it on poor eyesight. It’s crippling. It’s like being in a bad sitcom, praying some little light of inspiration will hit, or that they’ll greet me first so I’ll know it’s them. We’re adjacent to a historical district where everyone walks to dinner, gym, yoga, shops or walks their dog. It’s just fraught with peril every time I step out the door. Little social landmines everywhere.
@rickiimarieee I feel ya, hon.2 -
Not an issue anymore and not actually food related but...
When I lived with my best mate and his mrs we used to shop together and split the grocery bill. The sticking point was that we'd get to the check out and there'd be a whole bunch of toiletries and such in the cart that they expected me to chip in for as part of the shopping costs.
I'm sorry Karen but you're not my GF and I'm not paying for 1/3rd of your moisturiser, nail polish remover, tampons and emery board.6 -
RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Am I the only one who despises the self-checkout? If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff I should get a discount. I don't mind for a couple of things, but when I'm doing a large shop it's a serious pain and things won't ring up right and I can never find the code for the bag of ice I'm going to grab on the way out.
I tend to shop really early in the morning on Saturdays and none of the checkout lines are open, you have to use the self-checkout. Fortunately the cashier tending the self-checkout is very nice and does it for me.
This person extroverts.
I dislike talking to people more than I dislike using the self-checkout.
This. Also, I'm picky about how things are bagged. I love Aldi because I can have the best of both worlds. Their cashiers aren't chatty, and I get to bag my own food.
I can't keep up with aldi scanners, lol. I just feel the pressure from them to hurry up. Could be that's just my aldi, though.
They don't just throw it in the basket (sometimes a bit roughly, IMO) and leave you to the bagging shelf where you can bag at your leisure? Because they are SERIOUS about getting stuff scanned, for sure. One once told us they have a standard of items scanned per minute to meet, but that might be BS
At my Aldi they just toss it in the basket too.
As for the items per minute "goals" I'd imagine that's probably true. I worked as a cashier in a supermarket during college (not Aldi) and we had to meet a certain number of items/minute and they posted everyone's "average" weekly. I was always second to this super tall (6'2"?) lady and then the other cashiers were well below me...leading me to think arm reach played a huge role (I'm 5'8" and most of the others were quite short). Strange. I have heard they do this in Walmart and other stores too.
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springlering62 wrote: »rickiimarieee wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »I just want to say that I'm terrified of running into people I know at the grocery store. I'm the definition of awkward turtle and nothing is more awkward than trying to say hello and make short conversation with a work colleague that you're not really friends with but are on somewhat nice terms with. I'm just awkward in general.
I’m the same way, I don’t know how to short conversate and I have a terrible memory so whenever people I use to work with come up or old friends and I don’t remember I stare blankly because I have no idea who it is and they’re like you remember me? I’m like no sorry. So it makes it all the more awkward.
I have a theory that really shy people suffer from some kind of psychological disability remembering faces and names, and it just kind of builds on itself. It’s truly a “thing”.
I got stopped by a woman today who greeted me warmly, and I was absolutely frozen. I mean I went total Deer in the Headlights. I couldn’t remember if she was the director of the museum I’ve volunteered at for years, or a neighbor who is in a group I see fairly often. It’s even worse trying to keep men straight. At least women have relatively consistent hairdos to identify them.
It’s like absolute social paralysis. I live in fear of sticking my foot in my mouth because I’m always calling people I know well by the wrong name, or worrying “was that so and so I just walked past, will they think I’m snubbing them if I don’t say something”, and by the time I’ve decided either the moment is past or it IS the wrong person.
It’s like Name & Face Dyslexia.
And my husband, bless his heart, is even worse than me. Thank God we found one another!
This is me, too! I completely blank out on faces and names, and I've been like that all my life! We should start a club - we could wear nametags I really hate it, it makes me feel rude and stupid. 2 -
I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
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RelCanonical wrote: »Am I the only one who despises the self-checkout? If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff I should get a discount. I don't mind for a couple of things, but when I'm doing a large shop it's a serious pain and things won't ring up right and I can never find the code for the bag of ice I'm going to grab on the way out.
I tend to shop really early in the morning on Saturdays and none of the checkout lines are open, you have to use the self-checkout. Fortunately the cashier tending the self-checkout is very nice and does it for me.
This person extroverts.
I dislike talking to people more than I dislike using the self-checkout.
I like using self-serve so I don't have to talk with anyone. It peeves me when the person manning the area tries to start a conversation.1 -
One time I didn’t recognize someone I had dinner with the night before. I guess it’s an anxiety attack? And in no way trying to be mean or rude. I would be kind and call it a brain fart, but it’s more like an instantaneous, paralyzing implosion of all grey matter. I don’t mean to wish ill on others, but I’m really relieved to hear that others admit to it, too. It’s scary thinking you’re the only one.
Except for that poor husband of mine. We are a pair! Thirty years in the same house with the same neighbors, and he never could remember their names. I had to refer to neighbors as “yellow door”, “frog statue”, “jerk”, and “carpool”. I’m just grateful he remembers MY name!
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RelCanonical wrote: »I just want to say that I'm terrified of running into people I know at the grocery store. I'm the definition of awkward turtle and nothing is more awkward than trying to say hello and make short conversation with a work colleague that you're not really friends with but are on somewhat nice terms with. I'm just awkward in general.
You are not alone. I shop at off peak hours and avoid the very popular stores and you'll never see me in a supermarket on Saturday mornings. Plus I don't always recognize people out of context (hmm this face looks familiar. And it's someone I see like every day at work)
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My husband is an awesome shopper. I text him the list and he either gets exactly what is on it or he calls/texts me if he is unsure about anything. It’s one benefit of him being divorced and on his own for many years (cooking and shopping for himself) before he met me. We also like to go shopping together. We use a list, get what's on the list, and get out. Many times he’s reminded me we need something I forgot to put on the list.1
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seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I once forgot my best friend's name for an entire day.3 -
I talk to myself in the grocery store, mostly telling myself not to just buy chips and Zebra Cakes. Sometimes it even works. Does that count?4
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Lillymoo01 wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Am I the only one who despises the self-checkout? If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff I should get a discount. I don't mind for a couple of things, but when I'm doing a large shop it's a serious pain and things won't ring up right and I can never find the code for the bag of ice I'm going to grab on the way out.
I tend to shop really early in the morning on Saturdays and none of the checkout lines are open, you have to use the self-checkout. Fortunately the cashier tending the self-checkout is very nice and does it for me.
This person extroverts.
I dislike talking to people more than I dislike using the self-checkout.
I like using self-serve so I don't have to talk with anyone. It peeves me when the person manning the area tries to start a conversation.
I also love self checkout. Saves you from that awkward conversation and stare down with the cashier. Lol0 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
My husband has been gone for the military for 3 weeks and he’ll be lucky if I remember him lmao. Jk. But honestly, if I go a month+ without seeing someone their name and face slips my mind. Close Family is an exception though, I’d never forget my husband or kids or parents.0 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
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Common scenario when we see someone who recognizes me while out. Conversation goes something like this:
Them - Hi! How are you?? It's been ages!
Me - Hi, I'm great, thank you! How are you?
Them - Doing really well. blah blah kids this, mutual acquaintance that blah blah Well, it was great seeing you!
Me - You too. Take care.
They walk away.
Husband - Who was that?
Me - I have no idea
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seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I see a benefit of weight loss in that they straight up won't recognize me anymore and we can just continue our lives without realizing that we ran across each other.7 -
Am I the only one who despises the self-checkout? If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff I should get a discount. I don't mind for a couple of things, but when I'm doing a large shop it's a serious pain and things won't ring up right and I can never find the code for the bag of ice I'm going to grab on the way out.
I tend to shop really early in the morning on Saturdays and none of the checkout lines are open, you have to use the self-checkout. Fortunately the cashier tending the self-checkout is very nice and does it for me.
I'm with you! If they're going to lay off people so a machine can do the work I'm not going to use it. And like you said where's the discount for the money they saved?
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seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I should have mentioned this earlier but I've told people I didn't remember them...only a handful of times...but it was always "mean girls" from my high school days who were extremely popular. I was never bullied by them but I wasn't part of their circle and THEY HATE IT SO MUCH when I say "huh no, I don't remember you, sorry" and they're like "BUT I AM ALLISON LASTNAME" hahahaha
So that's part of why I assumed others were kind of doing the same. I'm a weirdo who remembers *everyone* so I probably knew she was Allison and which street she lived on, not because I was her friend or cared at all but because she rode my bus.3 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I should have mentioned this earlier but I've told people I didn't remember them...only a handful of times...but it was always "mean girls" from my high school days who were extremely popular. I was never bullied by them but I wasn't part of their circle and THEY HATE IT SO MUCH when I say "huh no, I don't remember you, sorry" and they're like "BUT I AM ALLISON LASTNAME" hahahaha
So that's part of why I assumed others were kind of doing the same. I'm a weirdo who remembers *everyone* so I probably knew she was Allison and which street she lived on, not because I was her friend or cared at all but because she rode my bus.
I have power trip fantasies about doing this. Mostly with old roommates in college. The high school mean girls tended to leave me alone too, but I legit probably wouldn't remember them so it would be honest lol.1 -
Shopping conundrums: I hate grocery shopping, but I love to cook. I hate doing my shopping online because I love choosing my own produce. I thought I had more to say on the matter, but that's it for now.3
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@MikePTY I am scratching my head trying to figure out what you said that made someone flag your post. My husband does the same thing. He does most of the cleaning, cooking, and shopping - especially December to April when his lobster boat is out of the water. I don't see anything flag-worthy about that.2
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springlering62 wrote: »Anyway back to topic.
Two things for me. My husband is a retired market research manager for a large beverage company. Going shopping with him is torture. One of his jobs was to study the competitors packaging and why they chose certain new designs, sizing (different areas of the country prefer different sizes of his product, believe it or not), display designs etc. So he likes to take his time in the store seeing what’s up in product packaging. He’s like an old woman in an antiques market who has to stop and look at everything, pick it up, look it over. Seriously!!!!!!
I love this. I think packaging is so cool, but I do see how doing this EVERY TIME would get frustrating.
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I love grocery shopping. I'm having a major kitchen renovation going on right now, and I am DYING because I have to limit my grocery shopping to fit into a tiny fridge. But on the upside I'm working through my PB + eating a lot of bagels!0
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We do our shopping usually on Sunday. We plan out what we're going to eat for the week, make a list of things we need for that and for other staple items and go shopping. Never really had any issues.0
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I loathe shopping in all forms. I make a list of what we'll need for the week, as close to the order they're found in the aisles as I can, and go by myself. It's one of the few times during the week my husband can have one on one time with our special needs daughter. And, one of the few times I get out alone. No issues.1
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seltzermint555 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I should have mentioned this earlier but I've told people I didn't remember them...only a handful of times...but it was always "mean girls" from my high school days who were extremely popular. I was never bullied by them but I wasn't part of their circle and THEY HATE IT SO MUCH when I say "huh no, I don't remember you, sorry" and they're like "BUT I AM ALLISON LASTNAME" hahahaha
So that's part of why I assumed others were kind of doing the same. I'm a weirdo who remembers *everyone* so I probably knew she was Allison and which street she lived on, not because I was her friend or cared at all but because she rode my bus.seltzermint555 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I should have mentioned this earlier but I've told people I didn't remember them...only a handful of times...but it was always "mean girls" from my high school days who were extremely popular. I was never bullied by them but I wasn't part of their circle and THEY HATE IT SO MUCH when I say "huh no, I don't remember you, sorry" and they're like "BUT I AM ALLISON LASTNAME" hahahaha
So that's part of why I assumed others were kind of doing the same. I'm a weirdo who remembers *everyone* so I probably knew she was Allison and which street she lived on, not because I was her friend or cared at all but because she rode my bus.
I moved away from the area I grew up so I don’t see people from high school, but I was bullied in high school by the mean girls. I’m actually in the process of negotiating a house from the area I grew up in so if I see them I will totally do this. Lol.2 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »I have a small confession - I always assume people are rude, mean, or lying when they don't remember me or don't remember someone else. This thread has truly opened my eyes and I swear I am going to think twice about this after realizing that it's "a thing" to not remember someone you went to school with for 9 years in a row albeit ages ago or worked with in 2012.
I'm grew up in a small town not far from where I live now, so it's not unusual to see people who know me from there while out and about. Most of the time I have NO IDEA who they are. It sucks, it's awkward and uncomfortable and I hate it. Definitely not trying to be rude, though
I should have mentioned this earlier but I've told people I didn't remember them...only a handful of times...but it was always "mean girls" from my high school days who were extremely popular. I was never bullied by them but I wasn't part of their circle and THEY HATE IT SO MUCH when I say "huh no, I don't remember you, sorry" and they're like "BUT I AM ALLISON LASTNAME" hahahaha
So that's part of why I assumed others were kind of doing the same. I'm a weirdo who remembers *everyone* so I probably knew she was Allison and which street she lived on, not because I was her friend or cared at all but because she rode my bus.
Tbh I probably won’t remember them, not because they slipped my mind because they traumatized my teen years but because they use to make fun of me for being a “chunky” girl, they were all skinny and fit and now they’re all huge. Not making fun of them in the slightest for that but it’s just ironic how the cookie crumbles.3 -
I always thought I was very introverted, but reading through these posts makes me think I may not be as hard-core as I thought!
I make sure to always chat with the guy at the fish counter. Over the years we've learned a lot about each other (when he is out of a particular fish he knows I check the alternatives using the USDA database and knows I track my calories in MFP)... sometimes these types of relationships can be very useful. He always gives me to best cuts, and will weigh the fish after he has skinned it for me.6 -
I always thought I was very introverted, but reading through these posts makes me think I may not be as hard-core as I thought!
I make sure to always chat with the guy at the fish counter. Over the years we've learned a lot about each other (when he is out of a particular fish he knows I check the alternatives using the USDA database and knows I track my calories in MFP)... sometimes these types of relationships can be very useful. He always gives me to best cuts, and will weigh the fish after he has skinned it for me.
You sound like my husband. He's not really a natural extrovert, but does a very good job passing as one. He gets to know the butcher, the cashiers, the store manager, etc., by name. He can also engage in small talk with other people waiting in the check out line without being weird and awkward. Unlike me.5 -
I always thought I was very introverted, but reading through these posts makes me think I may not be as hard-core as I thought!
I make sure to always chat with the guy at the fish counter. Over the years we've learned a lot about each other (when he is out of a particular fish he knows I check the alternatives using the USDA database and knows I track my calories in MFP)... sometimes these types of relationships can be very useful. He always gives me to best cuts, and will weigh the fish after he has skinned it for me.
You sound like my husband. He's not really a natural extrovert, but does a very good job passing as one. He gets to know the butcher, the cashiers, the store manager, etc., by name. He can also engage in small talk with other people waiting in the check out line without being weird and awkward. Unlike me.
That sounds like me. I talk to people. I'm definitely a natural introvert and shy by nature, but have worked really hard at learning to be more social (important for me because as a widowed/orphaned/childless/only child, I need social connections for best mental health vs being a hermit). It really is a skillset, one that can be sharpened with practice (if one cares; I'm not saying it's essential for all).
While I worked on the skillset mostly in order to form/maintain friendships, I do use it on cashiers, waitstaff, etc.
I don't know whether I'm weird and awkward or not, though I do feel that way sometimes. It's OK.
And I still s**k at remembering names. (I've gotten better at handling it, though.)
Harkening back to a PP: I do hate self-checkout, though.4
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