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Guess whats in my pocket?

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Replies

  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A dipstick. She likes to "check your oil". Be wary of bending over near her.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A single nugget of chicken. He likes to hold it and cry while remembering when he had more than one lonely nugget of chicken.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A lock of her hair, a drop of her blood in a vial, a vial of her tears, some of her fingernail clippings, and a piece of paper with the name "traehymazzip" written on it in her ear wax. On the back of the note is instructions for creating a golem using these ingredients. Her idea is to create this golem to do her housework and to treat her like the queen she believes she is destined to be. She only need a stool sample and some her own drool to complete the recipe.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Sequinned budgie smugglers
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Crocodile Dundee' s big knoife! 😋
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A mirror that she will hold in front of anyone’s face that she sees littering and yell “Just look at the enemy of this Earth!!”
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    A vampire detector and a neck protector; i.e. a small mirror and a felt garlic marker pen.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A spanish language edition mad libs book. Turns out you can still write in "butt" in the blanks and its just as funny imagining what it probably says.
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    A Betamax cassette of the movie Short Circuit. He knows there will be a robot uprising and Johnny Five will be seen as a prophet. Possession of this relic will garner certain privileges.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A pack of notecards with reaction words written on them. Hes so jaded, he just pulls the one that has "LOL" written on it when hes supposed to laugh and shows it to you.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    A hole
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    Locks of hair
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A notebook in which he has sketched every character of the Andy Griffith show with his face.
  • LonniJay
    LonniJay Posts: 3,740 Member
    French fries from yesterdays dinner
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Pocket full of cheese. Everyone knows cheese makes everything better.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A cheeseburger. He likes to make strangers on the subway re-enact the cheeseburger royale scene form Pulp Fiction.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Donnie and Marie Osmond finger puppets. She brings them out at lunch so she can have a conversation with them. After lunch, a scene plays out. Sometimes, Donnie and Maire get married and have wierd Osmond,alien babies. Other times, they fight to the death. Yesterday, she ripped the heads off each to switch them in a dramatic re-enactment of the John Travolta/Nicholas Cage classic move, Faceoff (tm).
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A packet of almond butter. He likes to start fights in the hopes that someday, someone will kick him hard between the legs, because he wants to sneak the almond butter out of his pocket and secretly squeeze it in his fist so it oozes out between his fingers, all while clenching at his nuts and berries so he can yell "OH MY GOD IT ACTUALLY IS BUTTER!!!!" and sue.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A butternut squash. She loves the way it fills out the front of her pants. She really likes putting on a fake mustache in combination with her squash and walking around Wal Mart.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    A grapefruit.. he squeezes it for a little stress relief
  • Buttermcbutter
    Buttermcbutter Posts: 411 Member
    Candy 🍬 for luring the kids in lol
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    edited September 2019
    Toe nail clippings.. with teeth marks :D
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    a Potato. She likes to pull it out and look at it. Sometimes she will throw it at people and yell “this ain’t no pa-tot-oh, it’s a mother effin pa-tay-toe!”
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    Tomato... She just like to throw at random ppl as she walk by them
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    Pearl onions. He likes to hold them in his hands when he sneezes and then drop them while screaming, to make people think he sneezed his eyes out.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Avocados, onions, tomatoes, lime juice, and cilantro. Her claim to fame is the ability to make tableside guacamole in her pocket (including dicing the onions in there)
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    a scrap of paper with the word peniz written on it inside a smiley face. He likes to tell random strangers, "I have a peniz in my pocket, would you like to see it?"
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Two ball peen hammers. She carries these to give herself options. She can either say "wanna see my balls" or "I have two peens", or "my hammer is hard". The options are endless really.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A little mirror. When people talk to him he will either put it in their face and say, "Look whose boring me" or he'll look into it himself and pretend to talk to his reflection instead of the person conversing with him.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    edited September 2019
    A set of jacks. Just in case she runs into someone who wants to play. She challenges random strangers.

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