Viewing the message boards in:

Guess whats in my pocket?

1…1213151718…53

Replies

  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    He's got a magnet that whenever he sees something or someone he's interested in, he pulls it out and holdsit in front of his chest so that his magnetic nipple rings are drawn toward it and make it look like his nipples are erect. He will wave his hand back and forth and tell you his nipples are his "attractive " radar.
  • Posts: 872 Member
    Spare swimmers
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    A tiny hairball her cat coughed up earlier that she swears she can see the image of Betty White in it.
  • Posts: 1,131 Member
    A gum wrapper from high school that your high school crush touched.
  • Posts: 945 Member
    A stethoscope. No matter what ails you she whips it out to listen. The catch is, she claims she can hear better in the upper thigh region.
  • Posts: 1,131 Member
    Pandemonium_ wrote: »
    A stethoscope. No matter what ails you she whips it out to listen. The catch is, she claims she can hear better in the upper thigh region.

    Surprisingly- thanks to the large artery that runs through- femoral pulses in the groin are strong!

    Oh but I keep my stethoscope around by neck!

  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    A picture she drew of a butt. Whenever she gets mad at someone she yells “you’re acting like....like..... (pulls out the butt picture)...THIS!!”
  • Posts: 195,832 Member
    edited October 2019
    A jar of pickled Jalapeños
  • Posts: 945 Member
    A picture of Pee Wee Herman. Any time she is stressed she pulls it out and they do the pee wee laugh together.
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    a bar of soap. Whenever he's walking down the street in a bad neighborhood he pretends to use it as a cell phone. That way, people avoid him instead of mugging him.
  • Posts: 3,776 Member
    pizzamyheart wrote: »
    a bar of soap. Whenever he's walking down the street in a bad neighborhood he pretends to use it as a cell phone. That way, people avoid him instead of mugging him.

    I thought he would have taken it out to say 'I'm here to clean up this town.' Also the way he dies.


    Rat attractant, a fife and her phone playing fife music, Just in case she comes wanders into Hameln.
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    His grandma's heart in a jar. This way when he says, "I don't miss her because I know her heart will always be with me".... he's not lyin.
  • Posts: 6,609 Member
    Wocket in their pocket
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    an old piece of chicken skin. When she feels put on the spot at work she will pull it out, say "braiiiinzz" and start munching on it to make people leave her alone
  • Posts: 945 Member
    A cinnamon apple crunch muffin that shes glued googly eyes on. Oh yes, she does indeed know the muffin man. His name is Charlie.
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    An old shredded piece of netting. He tells people its his lucky fishnet but we all know its from his glory days when he frequented the Drag circuit as a Queen named Lola.
  • Posts: 945 Member
    Ghost peppers grown in a Guatemalan insane asylum. She pulls them out and rubs them on her face to make herself cry. You wouldnt believe how many free lunches shes gotten from this technique
  • Posts: 269,456 Member
    A fart in a pickle bottle
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    A stick of butter. She always like to glisten so she’ll run it in her face several times a day
  • Posts: 945 Member
    edited October 2019
    A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have lines drawn connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    Pandemonium_ wrote: »
    A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have line draw connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.

    Some names are even written in scratch n sniff ink
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    Pandemonium_ wrote: »
    A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have line draw connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.

    A large blonde wig. Whenever he goes out to lunch with coworkers he will put it on and pretend to be Dolly Parton. He won’t answer unless he is addressed as “Miss Dolly” .
  • Posts: 945 Member
    Two boiled eggs and a stick of summer sausage. She asks men with mullets if they'd like any protein, while winking and licking her lips
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    A small cubic zirconium. He likes to show it to any nurses he might meet and tell them that he once got so constipated that now he can only poop diamonds. He feels that improves his chances of getting a date.
  • Posts: 945 Member
    An autographed Billy Blanks, Tae Bo(tm) sweat rag. She pulls it out daily, loudly inhales the scent, sighs and yells "TAE BO"
  • Posts: 269,456 Member
    Chop sticks.. he doesn't use them to eat with but to scratch himself in unreachable places
  • Posts: 1,836 Member
    Coffee grounds. She pulls them out and throws them at people who walk slowly in front of her and yells "You need some pep in your step!" goodday
  • Posts: 872 Member
    Popcorn
  • Posts: 945 Member
    Ring pops. She places them on her toes and licks them. All in an effort to increase her dexterity.
  • Posts: 269,456 Member
    Ants.. because he did have cupcake crumbs in there

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
Sign In
Register

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
Sign In
Register

Quick Links

Categories