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Guess whats in my pocket?
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He's got a magnet that whenever he sees something or someone he's interested in, he pulls it out and holdsit in front of his chest so that his magnetic nipple rings are drawn toward it and make it look like his nipples are erect. He will wave his hand back and forth and tell you his nipples are his "attractive " radar.0
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Spare swimmers0
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A tiny hairball her cat coughed up earlier that she swears she can see the image of Betty White in it.0
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A gum wrapper from high school that your high school crush touched.0
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A stethoscope. No matter what ails you she whips it out to listen. The catch is, she claims she can hear better in the upper thigh region.0
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Pandemonium_ wrote: »A stethoscope. No matter what ails you she whips it out to listen. The catch is, she claims she can hear better in the upper thigh region.
Surprisingly- thanks to the large artery that runs through- femoral pulses in the groin are strong!
Oh but I keep my stethoscope around by neck!
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A picture she drew of a butt. Whenever she gets mad at someone she yells “you’re acting like....like..... (pulls out the butt picture)...THIS!!”0
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A jar of pickled Jalapeños0
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A picture of Pee Wee Herman. Any time she is stressed she pulls it out and they do the pee wee laugh together.0
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a bar of soap. Whenever he's walking down the street in a bad neighborhood he pretends to use it as a cell phone. That way, people avoid him instead of mugging him.0
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pizzamyheart wrote: »a bar of soap. Whenever he's walking down the street in a bad neighborhood he pretends to use it as a cell phone. That way, people avoid him instead of mugging him.
I thought he would have taken it out to say 'I'm here to clean up this town.' Also the way he dies.
Rat attractant, a fife and her phone playing fife music, Just in case she comes wanders into Hameln.0 -
His grandma's heart in a jar. This way when he says, "I don't miss her because I know her heart will always be with me".... he's not lyin.0
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Wocket in their pocket0
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an old piece of chicken skin. When she feels put on the spot at work she will pull it out, say "braiiiinzz" and start munching on it to make people leave her alone0
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A cinnamon apple crunch muffin that shes glued googly eyes on. Oh yes, she does indeed know the muffin man. His name is Charlie.0
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An old shredded piece of netting. He tells people its his lucky fishnet but we all know its from his glory days when he frequented the Drag circuit as a Queen named Lola.0
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Ghost peppers grown in a Guatemalan insane asylum. She pulls them out and rubs them on her face to make herself cry. You wouldnt believe how many free lunches shes gotten from this technique0
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A fart in a pickle bottle0
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A stick of butter. She always like to glisten so she’ll run it in her face several times a day0
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A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have lines drawn connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.0
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Pandemonium_ wrote: »A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have line draw connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.
Some names are even written in scratch n sniff ink0 -
Pandemonium_ wrote: »A small black notebook. Inside this notebook are cut out pictures of mfp forum goers. Some have line draw connecting them. Others have butts drawn on their faces, and still others have hearts drawn around them. A select few have a Large X drawn over the face. Im still working on deciphering her code.
A large blonde wig. Whenever he goes out to lunch with coworkers he will put it on and pretend to be Dolly Parton. He won’t answer unless he is addressed as “Miss Dolly” .0 -
Two boiled eggs and a stick of summer sausage. She asks men with mullets if they'd like any protein, while winking and licking her lips0
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A small cubic zirconium. He likes to show it to any nurses he might meet and tell them that he once got so constipated that now he can only poop diamonds. He feels that improves his chances of getting a date.0
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An autographed Billy Blanks, Tae Bo(tm) sweat rag. She pulls it out daily, loudly inhales the scent, sighs and yells "TAE BO"0
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Chop sticks.. he doesn't use them to eat with but to scratch himself in unreachable places0
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Coffee grounds. She pulls them out and throws them at people who walk slowly in front of her and yells "You need some pep in your step!" goodday0
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Popcorn0
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Ring pops. She places them on her toes and licks them. All in an effort to increase her dexterity.0
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Ants.. because he did have cupcake crumbs in there0
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