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Guess whats in my pocket?

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Replies

  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    Cigs...lighter and a bottle opener.. oh six pack of beer .. she got a big pouch.😝
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    lx1x wrote: »
    Cigs...lighter and a bottle opener.. oh six pack of beer .. she got a big pouch.😝

    :o did you just say I have a " big pouch" :noway:

    Pizza.. in case he gets hungry
  • ctadams2827
    ctadams2827 Posts: 129 Member
    It's not a banana
  • Josh_2099
    Josh_2099 Posts: 2,073 Member
    Boomerang
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A single legume. Whenever he farts he pulls it out and yells “it’s Not beans that make me toot, it’s a legume!!!”
  • Josh_2099
    Josh_2099 Posts: 2,073 Member
    LMAO
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A taped Seinfeld laugh track on a mini tape player in one pocket and a sign with a laughing emoji and "LOL" on it in the other. He thinks its hilarious to play the tape and show the sign instead of actually laughing.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A cane, orthapedic shoes and a long white beard. He puts them on whenever people are late and he has to wait for them.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Vinegar and baking soda so she can foam at the mouth whenever someone wont stop talking to her. She also goes into faux convulsions if she really dislikes them
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    The center of a toilet paper roll. He pulls it out when he’s talking to people to use it as a microphone. Sometimes he’ll even sing a song.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    edited October 2019
    I toothbrush and comb for when she spends a night away from home
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A hot dog with googely eyes. She says it’s her wiener friend. She calls it peter.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    edited October 2019
    Faces painted on the insides of the pockets. One side is Tom Selleck, the other is Nicholas Cage. She loves pulling them out on her lunch hour. She also enjoys telling people shes been the jam in a Tom and Nicholas sandwich many times.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    edited October 2019
    A tiny wig. He likes to put it on the ketchup bottle at lunch and pretend “she” is his lunch date.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    An old tv remote control with the words "Nuclear missile" written in sharpie under the big red power button. She can often be seen with her hand in her pocket, furiously moving her index finger whenever she sees another woman talking to Bernard, the produce clerk with the flowing hair.
  • Sharsou
    Sharsou Posts: 8,849 Member
    You don’t wanna know
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    An old piece of chicken wrapped in tin foil. He tells people it’s an ancient monkey foot. He tells you that if you caress it while it’s in his pocket you’ll have a good fortune.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    27 corks from old bottles of wine
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A handful of old screw top soda bottle caps. Its been his lifelong goal to find the winning cap from the 1982 contest to win a Coca Cola hat.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    Wire ties from loafs of bread,, planning to make a rope to climb the tallest mountain
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Your fingers
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    Someone elses fingers. We don't know who they belong to and they are starting to smell.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    The testicles of Rudolph Valentino, which she bought off a dark web auction. She claims the pheromones still seep from them and give her luck.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A set of plastic vampire fangs from the Dollar General. Whenever he finds dried up produce st the grocery store he puts them on, finds a worker to show them the dried out produce and says “my job here is done...blah blah blah”
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A raw steak. She whips it out at the grocery, slaps people with it and yells "You cant have your pudding if you dont eat your meat". Then throws instant pudding boxes at them and runs.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A ball gag. He hands it to unsuspecting people, whispers, "This is for later, I'll be waiting" and sashays away
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    A muzzle, two clothespins, and a taser. She will not hesitate to use them on herself when cornered by the pta, door to door religion salesmen, soccer moms, or cheerful morning people. Works every time.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    A sushi roll. It’s old and stinky and covered in lint but it still makes him feel fancy
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    12 crumpled packets of sweet n low. In an effort to rid the world of this evil, she takes every packet she can from each restaurant and discards them.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    A tiny dead spider, it was his little friend Winky whom he accidently stepped on. In penance he lovingly carries his little buddys body with him everywhere he goes.

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