Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss

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  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,635 Member
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    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    What does fat-positive mean and entail?
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
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    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    What does fat-positive mean and entail?

    http://lmgtfy.com/
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    [

    I am not a Feminist, I detest Feminism as it is TODAY, and do not feel bad about saying it. Weight has nothing to do with feminism, and in the times we are in now, overweight women are a lot more accepted, to say anything else is to have your head buried in the sand. What I'm saying may not be popular but it is the truth.

    Sorry, this is where you lose me completely. If you aren't a feminist, you don't get to opine on what is good for women. Feminism is simply the idea that women deserve the same respect that men receive. Since you don't think that women deserve that respect, everything you say is completely biased.
  • YoBecca
    YoBecca Posts: 167
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    ....seriously? Well, seriously, the last time I checked, men didn't have a uterus. Seriously!

    Never claimed we did. However the woman's decision binds a man for life, not just the time in utero. Woman wants to abort? Father has no legal say. Woman wants to keep it? Father has no legal say. The decision rests 100% on the woman but only 50% of the responsibility.

    Here's how it works: You get 100% say on whether or not you deposit your sperm in a woman. 100%!!! Once you do, you assume the risk that she might get pregnant - whether that's b/c it was unprotected, protection failed, she's some crazy who tricked you, whatever - she might get pregnant. Then, yes, she wins the lottery and gets to decide whether to have the child, and put you possibly on the line for paying child support. But YOU had the choice about what you did with your sperm, knowing that a baby might happen. You don't like the prospect of making a baby, then chose accordingly. But, yes, sadly, you don't get the right to force a woman to have an abortion or surrender her child or to fail to take financial responsibility for a kid you half made.

    Don't like the rules - don't play the game. But don't whine about how hard you dudes have it having to *pay* until you've walked a mile in a single mother's shoes. That is the hardest gig in the world, and I have nothing but respect for those women! Believe me, child support doesn't cover anywhere near half of what they do.
  • YoBecca
    YoBecca Posts: 167
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    You made the thing about quotas up. This does not exist in the US. I'm assuming you are talking about the US with your little Mr. President shtick.



    If you like to re-read, you will see quotation marks, which means that 'shtick' was not mine.

    Secondly ; I am not talking exclusively to America, I am talking about the world. Not everything is central to America, and there ARE places outside of America also. I simply quoted that piece in reply to the last poster. That being said, it is a proposed action for America, and mark my word, it WILL happen.

    This doesn't take away from anything I have said.

    This whole conversation thread is so full of misinformation, inconsistencies, dramatic overstatements, and talk-radioesque propaganda ("The quotas are coming! The quotas are coming! Run for your lives!"), I can hardly resist refuting it all, but ain't nobody got time to try to engage this kind of crazy!

    OP: ignore. You asked for feedback from like-minded folks, and I think you got a lot of that!
  • SpleenThief
    SpleenThief Posts: 293 Member
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    Here's how it works: You get 100% say on whether or not you deposit your sperm in a woman. ... she's some crazy who tricked you,

    Nope. Getting tricked takes away the choice.


    ... walked a mile in a single mother's shoes. That is the hardest gig in the world,

    Yep, pretty much the same as being a single dad.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    It seriously makes me sad when I see women say they are not feminist. That's equivalent to a dark skinned person saying they dont believe in racial equality, or a person with disability saying they dont believe in job equality. Just very sad...please educate yourself ladies.
  • YoBecca
    YoBecca Posts: 167
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    Here's how it works: You get 100% say on whether or not you deposit your sperm in a woman. ... she's some crazy who tricked you,

    Nope. Getting tricked takes away the choice.


    ... walked a mile in a single mother's shoes. That is the hardest gig in the world,

    Yep, pretty much the same as being a single dad.

    I definitely agree that there are some amazing single dads out there, and that their gig is every bit as hard as a single mom's - but statistically, there are waaaay more single, custodial mother's than single custodial fathers.

    As for being "tricked," again, you always assume the risk that any act of intercourse could lead to a pregnancy. Birth control could fail. Some woman could "trick" you (cause it's most women's dreams to have a child with an unwilling man, so this totes happens ALL the time). If you play the game (I.e. have the secks) you assume the risks of whatever comes with it. If you want to make sure you never have to pay child support, keep your sperms to yourself. If you don't, then you really can't complain about having to support your own child.

    (And before this goes there, I acknowledge that it's possible some scenario could exist wherein a man has his semen forcibly removed from him. That's a crime, and is not what this "women get all the say in having babies!" complaint is about.)
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    It seriously makes me sad when I see women say they are not feminist. That's equivalent to a dark skinned person saying they dont believe in racial equality, or a person with disability saying they dont believe in job equality. Just very sad...please educate yourself ladies.

    And when a man won't identify himself as feminist it's because he doesn't respect women. It's depressing.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    I do not like the term "fat positive." I fail to see anything positive about being fat. Body positive is a concept that I can understand and get behind. I am a feminist and wanting to lose weight for my overall health doesn't make me any less feminist. I can love myself and my body now and still want to be faster and stronger and healthier FOR ME.
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
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    ....seriously? Well, seriously, the last time I checked, men didn't have a uterus. Seriously!

    Never claimed we did. However the woman's decision binds a man for life, not just the time in utero. Woman wants to abort? Father has no legal say. Woman wants to keep it? Father has no legal say. The decision rests 100% on the woman but only 50% of the responsibility.

    Here's how it works: You get 100% say on whether or not you deposit your sperm in a woman. 100%!!! Once you do, you assume the risk that she might get pregnant - whether that's b/c it was unprotected, protection failed, she's some crazy who tricked you, whatever - she might get pregnant. Then, yes, she wins the lottery and gets to decide whether to have the child, and put you possibly on the line for paying child support. But YOU had the choice about what you did with your sperm, knowing that a baby might happen. You don't like the prospect of making a baby, then chose accordingly. But, yes, sadly, you don't get the right to force a woman to have an abortion or surrender her child or to fail to take financial responsibility for a kid you half made.

    Don't like the rules - don't play the game. But don't whine about how hard you dudes have it having to *pay* until you've walked a mile in a single mother's shoes. That is the hardest gig in the world, and I have nothing but respect for those women! Believe me, child support doesn't cover anywhere near half of what they do.

    After reading this I am sad to be a woman. Not all women think this way. This is one reason I don't identify with most women.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I do not like the term "fat positive." I fail to see anything positive about being fat. Body positive is a concept that I can understand and get behind. I am a feminist and wanting to lose weight for my overall health doesn't make me any less feminist. I can love myself and my body now and still want to be faster and stronger and healthier FOR ME.

    Yes, you can have a positive self-image and still improve yourself.
  • 366to266
    366to266 Posts: 473 Member
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    I'm so glad this thread got back on topic after being a bit derailed with arguments about single fathers or whatever. Typical that a thread about women ends up focussing on men!

    Anyway.... upthread it says "If women took all the energy we focus on our "looks" and rechanneled it, we could RULE THE WORLD! "

    This made me smile, and then it made me sad, because it's SO TRUE.

    As for the original QUESTION on this thread. I am a feminist, have been one all my adult life. It's part of the reason I am fat, actually, because when I first started to get fat I refused to go and join Weightwatchers (or whatever) because I felt that the women there would be motivated primarily by the desire to look sexy for men, which would make me vomit (well, that is one way to lose weight I suppose LOL). Slimming magazines also focussed on women's "duty" to look sexy for men at all times. So for me it was a rebellion. I'd read a comment like that in a mag or even a newspaper feature on weight loss, and I'd "show them" by stuffing myself full of MacDonalds and refusing to diet. I think I went from about 180 to about 280 lbs with that attitude.

    Now I realise that I am not doing myself any good at this weight. Ironically, I could not join a recent feminist march through London because I am so fat!
  • hottamolly00
    hottamolly00 Posts: 334 Member
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    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    Nope. Not fat positive here. Fat is a cause for poor health, not appearances.
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
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    Fat-positive? :huh:

    I think what matters is how you feel about yourself, your weight and your health. Not what society thinks about it. Do you think you're healthy? Are you pleased with your appearance? Do what you feel is best for you. I don't really see excess fat in a positive light, really but I guess to each their own.
  • ChristiH4000
    ChristiH4000 Posts: 531 Member
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    Fat-positive feminists can still want to focus on health, nutrition, and physical ability (and the weight loss that may come with that) without betraying your values. To each their own, but for me being fat-positive is understanding that each of us has different goals and visions of beauty. No one body type is the right body type, and there is nothing wrong with loving yourself at any weight. (I can't get behind a morbidly obese woman wanting to be the fattest person in the world as a goal, but I don't think that's what you meant.)
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
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    You definitely have to lose weight for yourself. I think the most true definition of feminism (and this is just my opinion) is to live life to the fullest as an individual, including keeping your body in the best shape you possibly can to fulfill yourself. For me, this means doing the most I can to keep my body ready for anything - a crazy career, having kids, volunteering, etc.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    I don't know how there are THIS many pro-feminist posts from the kitchen....
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
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    It seriously makes me sad when I see women say they are not feminist. That's equivalent to a dark skinned person saying they dont believe in racial equality, or a person with disability saying they dont believe in job equality. Just very sad...please educate yourself ladies.

    And when a man won't identify himself as feminist it's because he doesn't respect women. It's depressing.

    Nice to know that anyone who objects to an ambiguous label can be easily categorized and dismissed.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It seriously makes me sad when I see women say they are not feminist. That's equivalent to a dark skinned person saying they dont believe in racial equality, or a person with disability saying they dont believe in job equality. Just very sad...please educate yourself ladies.

    And when a man won't identify himself as feminist it's because he doesn't respect women. It's depressing.

    Nice to know that anyone who objects to an ambiguous label can be easily categorized and dismissed.
    Oh you just shut it, you. You know you hate womyn. Admit it! Admit it!

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