The Mildly Passive-Aggressive Mid-life/Existential Crisis Terrible Poetry Thread

124

Replies

  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    ...there is a thread for that! Actually I think there's a thread for both of them

    and because this is the poem thread, something something hem

    You were mistaken
    To think that poems must all
    Be the rhyming kind
  • CacoEther wrote: »
    ...there is a thread for that! Actually I think there's a thread for both of them

    and because this is the poem thread, something something hem

    You were mistaken
    To think that poems must all
    Be the rhyming kind

    MANSPALIMING
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    ...there is a thread for that! Actually I think there's a thread for both of them

    and because this is the poem thread, something something hem

    You were mistaken
    To think that poems must all
    Be the rhyming kind

    MANSPALIMING

    well.... she ain't wrong.

    *shrug
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    edited December 2020
    --
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    ...there is a thread for that! Actually I think there's a thread for both of them

    and because this is the poem thread, something something hem

    You were mistaken
    To think that poems must all
    Be the rhyming kind

    MANSPALIMING

    You should see me manspread
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    I Trusted You.
    until I didn't.

    Oh my god it was ONE finger 🤦🏼‍♀️

    @CacoEther

    these things come with an attached nail file for a reason

    2019-08-21_12-03-07.png
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    i never feel too dour

    despite the lateness of the hour

    but sometime I find myself quite bored

    can someone please open the door
    get on the floor
    everybody walk the dinosaur
  • iMago wrote: »
    i never feel too dour

    despite the lateness of the hour

    but sometime I find myself quite bored

    can someone please open the door
    get on the floor
    everybody walk the dinosaur

    I wasn't sure where you were going with this but I like where you took it
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    He's 6 feet tall
    I gasp, I fall
    I thought I'd never see
    A man so perfect
    In every way
    A mortal man could be

    With sandy hair
    So rightly gelled
    And emerald eyes
    My heart was felled

    With shoulders broad
    Yet knees askew
    Upon first glance
    I felt, I knew

    If I had known
    That fateful day
    How long this would go on
    I would have stopped
    And given up
    That face I look upon

    But it's too late
    I see my fate
    I face reality
    It's sealed in fire
    My soul's desire
    Is only on t.v.
  • Yoshiboobs
    Yoshiboobs Posts: 1,090 Member
    Among us is an imposter
    Death to all who foster
    Lies and deceit
    Tis' thier favorite treat

    Do not point the finger at I
    I swear that I did so spy
    The perpetrator doing the deed
    Your suspicion of me they do need

    Imposter your lies didn't cause me to die
    For half and half caused a tie
    Can someone watch me do a task
    So I can prove that I do not wear a mask?

    Victory is mine at last
    Rejoice in that simple task
    You fools it was I
    Thank gawd for that *kitten* tie
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    9 pm tolls
    Before I become a troll
    There's no longer a spell
    No wand
    No kiss
    For you see its very
    Simple

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    i never feel too dour

    despite the lateness of the hour

    but sometime I find myself quite bored

    can someone please open the door
    get on the floor
    everybody walk the dinosaur

    😭 And now I hate that I've been bumping this song on Spotify for the past two weeks.

    Boom boom! Shakalaka boom BOOM!
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,281 Member
    There was a young woman who said
    My calories are too high, I dread
    getting fat is no good
    Reduce them I should
    but first I will go back to bed.
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Dark and lonely on the summer night.
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Slip in his window,
    Break his neck!
    Then his house
    I start to wreck!
    Got no reason —
    What the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    C-I-L-L …
    My land – lord …

    It's after midnight and I'm pretty sure I'm alone in here
    But I had to pop on and say
    I've been laughing about this poem for two days.

  • scratchmyTwitch
    scratchmyTwitch Posts: 218 Member
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Taco cat
    Eulb era steloiv
    Der era sesor

    I never noticed that are backwards is era. Very cool
  • CaramonM
    CaramonM Posts: 263 Member
    The human phenomenon is but the sum
    Of densely coiled layers of illusion
    Each of which winds itself on the supreme insanity
    That there are persons of any kind
    When all there can be is mindless mirrors
    Laughing and screaming as they parade about
    in an endless dream
    Eating ice cream
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    Stuck in the house
    I can't get out
    It's chaos in my town
    Nowhere to go
    nothing to do
    It's got me feeling down

    It travels by air
    It's all out there
    But I'm safe in here
    I wish I had beer

    A boring day
    But I worked out - hooray!
    I should have cleaned
    Or even preened
    But I have yet to wash

    I've sat on my hiney
    Without being whiney
    And several times did nosh

    I should play with my Canon
    Or dance nude with abandon
    Instead of writing a ditty
    But all I will do
    For the rest of this night
    Is post on mfp
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Alone, adrift in an endless sea
    You float by, ever ceaselessly
    I don't understand still
    Why you bother dear

    I'm nothing but trouble, an endless drain
    Emotionally a constant strain
    One day you'll get it
    And possibly leave

    Until then, I remain by your side
    Languishing, along now for the ride
    Wishing I were elsewhere
    Occupying some other space


  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    I
    Am.

    Phew, that was hard.
  • Miz_Owl
    Miz_Owl Posts: 3,026 Member
    edited December 2020
    .
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Early morning gone
    A chair, a drill, fleeting song
    Teeth fixed, now am numb
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    Roses
    Roses
    Garbage
    Garbage

    You're welcome
  • halseyelizabeth
    halseyelizabeth Posts: 1 Member
    I'm home.
    No safe reason to leave;
    Boxes come in
    So I won't go out in one.
  • My cat wears my shoes
    They are a little too big
    But he doesn’t care
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Winter solstice comes
    Darkest evening of the year
    Gift, the blessed cold

    * I posted this on my feed, so figured the rest of you could have my tiny haiku, too. It's not good, but it's a thing, so here ya go.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    Roses are red, that much is true
    Violets are purple, not fing blue :#
    -anonymous
  • Danw586
    Danw586 Posts: 237 Member
    Do those squats
    Eat that protein
    Get that rest

    That was short

    That’s
    What
    She
    Said