The Mildly Passive-Aggressive Mid-life/Existential Crisis Terrible Poetry Thread

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Replies

  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Did I know about this terrible poetry thread? I feel like I must have, but I've forgotten about it which is a shame because I feel like this is my sandbox


    Falling into my own fire
    Inhaling my own smoke
    Killing myself
    with my refusal
    to let go of a dream
    I'll never know
    who I could have been

    I made it for you actually and I’ve been heartbroken for weeks that you haven’t reveled in it

    Or months, how long ago did i make this thread?? Because thats how long I’ve had a severe case of mildly overblown heartbreak
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    there's things i could say,
    and things you don't know,
    but this thread is TL;DR,
    bored now; gotta go.

    I always used to say the letters TLDR but for purposes of proper cadence I pronounced it ‘tilder’ here and now I’m wondering if that’s what I should’ve been saying all along
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    @tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    @Motorsheen wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti

    caco_ethes version better use “singe” or i’m walking out
    She juicy thick
    like Orange Julius
    pop and lock, girl singe
    you Vesuvius
    Lets do it in the ash
    Cuz that booty is
    All good no need for a uterus
    Go on, grease that groove like a door hinge
    Cuz dis *kitten* so big
    make a *kitten* cringe
    More words that rhyme etc poor fringe
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    @tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    @Motorsheen wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti

    caco_ethes version better use “singe” or i’m walking out
    She juicy thick
    like Orange Julius
    pop and lock, girl singe
    you Vesuvius
    Lets do it in the ash
    Cuz that booty is
    All good no need for a uterus
    Go on, grease that groove like a door hinge
    Cuz dis *kitten* so big
    make a *kitten* cringe
    More words that rhyme etc poor fringe

    I would buy this album
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    aChuisle_moChroi wrote: »
    They said I got the ‘rona
    I said it can’t be true
    Last words on my deathbed:
    “Glad it ain’t the Spanish flu!”
    Now I’m a spectral poet, so what I say is true
    Look down while you’re walking or you’ll step in doggie doo

    This was beautiful
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Yessssss! 😌 Off the title alone and having read one poem thus far...this is Top 3 of All Time Must Read Thread. Bookmarked. 🙌🏿

  • Yoshiboobs
    Yoshiboobs Posts: 1,090 Member
    Time flying by
    Still I cry
    For a future that's not here
    I think about you dear

    I think about the passion and the love
    That seemed sent from above
    But you were a false God
    The old memories I prod

    Looking for that soft warm place
    That was your embrace
    When I felt like I belonged
    Before I was wronged
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    You suckithed, my vitality and spirit
    Enjoy the same

    And know, I grow, and fluoresce
    And am approaching brilliancy
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Dark and lonely on the summer night.
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Slip in his window,
    Break his neck!
    Then his house
    I start to wreck!
    Got no reason —
    What the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    C-I-L-L …
    My land – lord …

    “Do he bite?” is theee funniest part
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
    edited December 2020
    Four semesters late and the wrong degree
    Always should’ve been a liberal arts PhD
    I aced all of my classes, blew it on my comps
    Lots of circumstances, not one ounce of pomp
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Coffee Beans: A lamentation

    When pressed you reduce my stress
    You spur me on to finally get dressed
    And work. Progress.

    Yet they - yes, they - say you are a source of distress
    That you leave my visceral fat unimpressed
    And ruin. Progress.

    (Mandatory scene setting: it is here where, in my mind, the smoke-filled room's noise level rises ever so slightly as the audience of 14 people raise their arms in the air to snap their fingers as I exit stage left...to grab a cup of coffee)
  • Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz
    Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz Posts: 513 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    Coffee Beans: A lamentation

    When pressed you reduce my stress
    You spur me on to finally get dressed
    And work. Progress.

    Yet they - yes, they - say you are a source of distress
    That you leave my visceral fat unimpressed
    And ruin. Progress.

    (Mandatory scene setting: it is here where, in my mind, the smoke-filled room's noise level rises ever so slightly as the audience of 14 people raise their arms in the air to snap their fingers as I exit stage left...to grab a cup of coffee)

    I saw it; you transported me

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