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The Mildly Passive-Aggressive Mid-life/Existential Crisis Terrible Poetry Thread

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  • cee134cee134 Member Posts: 33,764 Member Member Posts: 33,764 Member
    I just ate a sandwich
    that was my plan which
  • mtndewmemtndewme Member Posts: 724 Member Member Posts: 724 Member
    Don't whine
    do wine
  • TheMrWobblyTheMrWobbly Member Posts: 2,439 Member Member Posts: 2,439 Member
    You strut and pose like a proud peacock,
    Time and effort for a body sculpted,
    Preened and presented, abs like rock
    Better than Joe Public with fat erupted,

    Looking for that dream partner with looks to die for,
    A life time mate that you think will stick,
    Though you will always love yourself more
    Because basically you are still a p r i c k.
  • Reckoner68Reckoner68 Member Posts: 2,139 Member Member Posts: 2,139 Member
    Did I know about this terrible poetry thread? I feel like I must have, but I've forgotten about it which is a shame because I feel like this is my sandbox


    Falling into my own fire
    Inhaling my own smoke
    Killing myself
    with my refusal
    to let go of a dream
    I'll never know
    who I could have been
  • caco_ethescaco_ethes Member Posts: 11,962 Member Member Posts: 11,962 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Did I know about this terrible poetry thread? I feel like I must have, but I've forgotten about it which is a shame because I feel like this is my sandbox


    Falling into my own fire
    Inhaling my own smoke
    Killing myself
    with my refusal
    to let go of a dream
    I'll never know
    who I could have been

    I made it for you actually and I’ve been heartbroken for weeks that you haven’t reveled in it

    Or months, how long ago did i make this thread?? Because thats how long I’ve had a severe case of mildly overblown heartbreak
  • caco_ethescaco_ethes Member Posts: 11,962 Member Member Posts: 11,962 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    there's things i could say,
    and things you don't know,
    but this thread is TL;DR,
    bored now; gotta go.

    I always used to say the letters TLDR but for purposes of proper cadence I pronounced it ‘tilder’ here and now I’m wondering if that’s what I should’ve been saying all along
  • MotorsheenMotorsheen Member Posts: 20,164 Member Member Posts: 20,164 Member
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.
  • caco_ethescaco_ethes Member Posts: 11,962 Member Member Posts: 11,962 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.
  • MotorsheenMotorsheen Member Posts: 20,164 Member Member Posts: 20,164 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.
  • iMagoiMago Member Posts: 8,714 Member Member Posts: 8,714 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti
  • caco_ethescaco_ethes Member Posts: 11,962 Member Member Posts: 11,962 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti

    caco_ethes version better use “singe” or i’m walking out
    She juicy thick
    like Orange Julius
    pop and lock, girl singe
    you Vesuvius
    Lets do it in the ash
    Cuz that booty is
    All good no need for a uterus
    Go on, grease that groove like a door hinge
    Cuz dis *kitten* so big
    make a *kitten* cringe
    More words that rhyme etc poor fringe
  • Reckoner68Reckoner68 Member Posts: 2,139 Member Member Posts: 2,139 Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
    No, It Doesn't.

    Except for maybe door hinge.
    Hard that wasn’t.

    @caco_ethes

    okay.... then work 'Door Hinge' into a Gangsta Rap rhyme.

    i can do this

    im loaded and bleary. its a three week binge.
    call ya momma up, gotta slam her back door hinge
    plugs ringing. grab my shirt. "move *kitten* out my way"
    she's cryin, begging "baby one more time you gotta stay"
    knees weak arms are heavy moms spaghetti

    caco_ethes version better use “singe” or i’m walking out
    She juicy thick
    like Orange Julius
    pop and lock, girl singe
    you Vesuvius
    Lets do it in the ash
    Cuz that booty is
    All good no need for a uterus
    Go on, grease that groove like a door hinge
    Cuz dis *kitten* so big
    make a *kitten* cringe
    More words that rhyme etc poor fringe

    I would buy this album
  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 2,465 Member Member Posts: 2,465 Member
    They said I got the ‘rona
    I said it can’t be true
    Last words on my deathbed:
    “Glad it ain’t the Spanish flu!”
    Now I’m a spectral poet, so what I say is true
    Look down while you’re walking or you’ll step in doggie doo

    This was beautiful
  • MaltedTeaMaltedTea Member, Premium Posts: 5,981 Member Member, Premium Posts: 5,981 Member
    Yessssss! 😌 Off the title alone and having read one poem thus far...this is Top 3 of All Time Must Read Thread. Bookmarked. 🙌🏿

  • YoshiboobsYoshiboobs Member Posts: 1,091 Member Member Posts: 1,091 Member
    Time flying by
    Still I cry
    For a future that's not here
    I think about you dear

    I think about the passion and the love
    That seemed sent from above
    But you were a false God
    The old memories I prod

    Looking for that soft warm place
    That was your embrace
    When I felt like I belonged
    Before I was wronged
  • Vikka_VVikka_V Member Posts: 9,477 Member Member Posts: 9,477 Member
    You suckithed, my vitality and spirit
    Enjoy the same

    And know, I grow, and fluoresce
    And am approaching brilliancy
  • CacoEtherCacoEther Member Posts: 2,465 Member Member Posts: 2,465 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Dark and lonely on the summer night.
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Slip in his window,
    Break his neck!
    Then his house
    I start to wreck!
    Got no reason —
    What the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    C-I-L-L …
    My land – lord …

    “Do he bite?” is theee funniest part
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