Things in recipes that amuse you
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I’m always amused by recipes that call for bay leaf. But I still use it to amuse myself. “Add then remove ...for zero added flavour” IMO
Bay leaves actually add flavor. You can leave them in up until serving. The only reason you take them out is because the spines never soften and can cause problems if swallowed, kind of like a fish bone. You can actually crush bay leaf in a mortar and pestle, remove the spines, and add. That way you don't have to remove it.
I just watched an episode of Lydia’s Italian Table on PBS.
She bloomed fresh bay leaf with other spices in the dish she made. She said it brings out the flavor better. Makes sense, I do that with spices when I make chili.
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I love Ina Garten, but she honestly makes the most intense things and fancy ingredients sound so easy and normal. Makes me laugh and shake my head a lot.2
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This isn't something in a recipe, but how MFP converted it on bulk import.
8 cups water became 8 cups cold pressed watermelon water
4 garlic cloves became 40
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I come from a long line of cooks and bakers (both sides of the family) and have a lot of old family recipes.
My favorites:- Butter the size of a walnut
- 1 or 2 eggs
- Flour to feel
- Vanilla
The ultimate is a recipe that calls for molasses that "pours off the spoon while singing one chorus of "Nearer My God to Thee". If the weather is cold, sing two choruses"
1 cup of x, but then it's not a measuring cup, it's a random cup you drink tea or milk from.2 -
One from last night is a double whammy:
1/2 tsp garlic. Really, what's the point?
Then that garlic wasn't listed in any of the steps in the recipe...6 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »Sometime I laugh, sometimes I fume, when a recipe includes ingredients that are never mentioned in the directions. So, I just need to have the onion sit on the counter to watch while I make this stew?
You beat me to it. Drives me nuts. Or the reverse-- "Add the milk." WHAT MILK?? And how much??4 -
girlwithcurls2 wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »Sometime I laugh, sometimes I fume, when a recipe includes ingredients that are never mentioned in the directions. So, I just need to have the onion sit on the counter to watch while I make this stew?
You beat me to it. Drives me nuts. Or the reverse-- "Add the milk." WHAT MILK?? And how much??
Yes -- that's even worse.0 -
I stopped looking at anything Jamie Oliver when I saw him take 15 minutes to make a gin & tonic on one of his shows.
I also refuse to make anything from The Pioneer Woman because she is the most annoying person on the planet.
However, Alton Brown has a 20 step process that takes a week to make a lemon meringue pie you can be damned sure I'm following each one of those steps because Alton Brown.
One of my favorites is when the prep time says 10 minutes and the cook time says 20 minutes and in the middle of the recipe there's the hidden, "Let this marinate for 12 years to maximize the flavor." Sorry, that should be in the prep time then.
I trust Alton Brown for basically everything, but watching him make a tandoor out of a big clay pot convinced me that I'm totally happy going out for Indian food instead of making it at home.5 -
This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
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Instant Pot recipes that don't include the time it takes for it to come to pressure and release pressure, it's a lot longer to cook than I think! Still love it though.1
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BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
Can you please re-type your post in an American accent so we can all understand? Thaaaankssss...
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BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
I actually LIKE to prepare a recipe that is in grams. It’s easier to just use and wash 1 bowl and 1 spoon than all those measuring spoons and cups. But I’m still not good at estimating (do I have enough of this or do I need to run to the store?)
But liquids in ml. Seriously, tell me. Do you weigh or measure? My scale has ml, but it is exactly the same as grams, and I don’t think it’s the same thing, is it?3 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
Can you please re-type your post in an American accent so we can all understand? Thaaaankssss...
Y’all made me guffaw! 😉0 -
corinasue1143 wrote: »BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
I actually LIKE to prepare a recipe that is in grams. It’s easier to just use and wash 1 bowl and 1 spoon than all those measuring spoons and cups. But I’m still not good at estimating (do I have enough of this or do I need to run to the store?)
But liquids in ml. Seriously, tell me. Do you weigh or measure? My scale has ml, but it is exactly the same as grams, and I don’t think it’s the same thing, is it?
It is for water. It is close for milk. It is inaccurate for anything denser like oils, salad dressings, etc.4 -
Recipe for 4 people. (REALLY?)
You can replace item xyz with kale.
"Ask your butcher to cut..."
Use left - overs for next meal. (Again: REALLY?)4 -
corinasue1143 wrote: »BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
I actually LIKE to prepare a recipe that is in grams. It’s easier to just use and wash 1 bowl and 1 spoon than all those measuring spoons and cups. But I’m still not good at estimating (do I have enough of this or do I need to run to the store?)
But liquids in ml. Seriously, tell me. Do you weigh or measure? My scale has ml, but it is exactly the same as grams, and I don’t think it’s the same thing, is it?
Generally I use a calibrated measuring jug to measure liquids because, as you rightly say, it’s not always the same. It sort of depends what I’m making and how crucial total accuracy is to the end result.0 -
This is a little more general but I always laugh a little bit at Pinterest baking recipes that are clearly trying to appeal to the masses with the photo & title...something like "EASY HEALTHY BROWNIE BITES"...but the first 4 ingredients are something like this: date syrup, coconut butter, almond flour, cacao nibs. I usually do have all those things but where I live, a lot of people would not know what they are and would just laugh about it.
I also laugh at the Pinterest-famous Snickers fudge recipe. But that's a bitter laugh because Christmas 2011, I spent like $28.50 making that one and it takes ages...then tastes like a bag of fun size Snickers that melted in your car. Not better. Not different.
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Recipe's for eggs that don't say what size the eggs are or if they are refrigerated or not before cooking. It make a BIG difference if you want a perfectly soft yolks.4
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I too laugh at garlic amounts in most recipes and then add a lot more. Then again, I consider most recipes to be suggestions rather than law. OH OH OH...it's hilarious to me when you're making something like meatloaf or baked custard-based mac and cheese and the recipe says to add "salt to taste" to the raw mixture. I can especially see novice cooks just standing there like "how do I know how much salt I need to make it taste good before it cooks???"5
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Recipe's for eggs that don't say what size the eggs are or if they are refrigerated or not before cooking. It make a BIG difference if you want a perfectly soft yolks.
My daughter's birthday cake it said 3 medium eggs and gave amount in ML. I used 3 large and a little egg white from the "jug" I use for breakfast to get that amount. Clearly mutant chickens were used in the original.0 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »This is not so much in a recipe, but of a recipe. Also it doesn’t amuse me, it makes me cross!
Finding a recipe online which has been written/developed by someone who is not American, i.e. is given in grams, ml, etc and seeing a bunch of people complaining that they either had to convert it (oh the horror!), demanding the originator convert it to ‘regular’ measurements for them and just generally criticising the entire recipe because it’s not done in cups.
I realise I’m probably offending a bunch of people here with this, so apologies if I do...but there are people in the world who are not American and the entire rest of the world does exist, eat and cook.
Can you please re-type your post in an American accent so we can all understand? Thaaaankssss...
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Most mornings I read newspapers from 100 years ago today, and recipes from the era tend to be really unspecific with ingredient amounts. "Start with a quantity of chicken, then add a measure of flour..." Wait, what is a "quantity" of chicken? How much is a "measure" of flour?
I remember asking my grandmother how she made meatloaf. She told me the ingredients and when I asked how much bread crumbs she said, "Some". But how much? "Just some until it looks right."
I have a really good pan pizza recipe. It says prep time 20 minutes, cook time 20 minutes, total time 40 minutes. The first step is mix the dough then cover and let rise for minimum 8 hours up to 24 hour. Next divide the dough into 2 pans and cover and let rise an additional 2 hours. So really prep time 10 hours and 20 minutes. But still really good pizza. Just something you will need to plan for more than 40 minutes ahead of time.
I also have a cook book that my mother in law gave me as a wedding gift. It is a blank cookbook that she filled with all of her recipes and a really lovely gift. It was one of my favorite wedding gifts and I still use it 30 years later. But I was always amused as there was one recipe in there that she put in parenthesis that it was really an expensive dish to make and my husband didn't really like it. I just thought that was kind of funny that she included it because if it was expensive and he wouldn't eat it then there would never really be a time I would make it. Although I guess it was good to know he didn't like it before I made it.6 -
Seeing Pancakerunner’s thread in Food & Nutrition about Angel Food Cake I went to Pinterest to have a look at recipes for it. What did I find?
“Two Ingredient Pineapple Angel Food Cake”.
The two ingredients: Angel Food Cake Mix & a tin of Pineapple 🤯🤯🤯🤯5 -
This thread is hysterical.
My grandfather wrote a cookbook, and the directions all assume the reader is Cajun. Half of them start with "make a roux." When he was being extra helpful, he'd say if it was supposed to be light instead of dark, but he never gave amounts.5 -
I've always liked cook until toothpick comes out clean on cake recipes. That's like a 30 second window between done and dry. Or mix until it looks like something that only exists in the mind of the recipe creator...1
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Bake in a medium oven until done 🤣3
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crush two cloves of garlic
What is this, recipe for ants??7
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