WHY do people CHEAT?
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Those are good. And yet I love a good slice...the depth and complexity of my love for pizza amazes me5 -
penicillin should have cleared that right up...3 -
CaliValleyGirl wrote: »Then suddenly everyone becomes an expert on behavior science.
Curiosity and discourse can lead to a better understanding of topics on which one is not an expert.3 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Those are good. And yet I love a good slice...the depth and complexity of my love for pizza amazes me
Fascinating right??0 -
The large amount of "matches" women receive on there is no joke. It's apparent that a lot of girls want an ideal "prince charming" (evident from reading what they write under the profile section). Just imagine how easy tinder can make cheating a reality if they are in an unfulfilling relationship.Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The only way that it fails is if women are spammed by male users from different countries making it too messy and irritating to work through. The app is so vain that it really shouldn't even exist.
Where in this expert explanation of a woman's needs does it tell me how an app on a phone is responsible for provoking someone to cheat on their spouse? I'm struggling to understand this point of view.3 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »
Those are good. And yet I love a good slice...the depth and complexity of my love for pizza amazes me
Fascinating right??
😜1 -
Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
Exactly - if you're in a committed relationship - there's absolutely no excuse to have it. None.4 -
Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The large amount of "matches" women receive on there is no joke. It's apparent that a lot of girls want an ideal "prince charming" (evident from reading what they write under the profile section). Just imagine how easy tinder can make cheating a reality if they are in an unfulfilling relationship.Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The only way that it fails is if women are spammed by male users from different countries making it too messy and irritating to work through. The app is so vain that it really shouldn't even exist.
Where in this expert explanation of a woman's needs does it tell me how an app on a phone is responsible for provoking someone to cheat on their spouse? I'm struggling to understand this point of view.
My personal experience...tons of married men on there. Some just want to chat and pretend they're single...some trying to make it happen and meet up. I do think the app makes it easier to "safely" coerce women or manipulate a situation to their benefit with very little fear of repercussion. And it happens on the flip side too...there are married women on there too.2 -
Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
Definitely no app required to get a quick hook up. A couple that my hubby & I have known for at least 2 decades and who have been married for at least 23 years are having major marital issues right now. She filed for divorce 2 or 3 weeks ago, he showed my husband some of the text messages that he has received in that 2 to 3 weeks from married women that are offering some "comfort" because they heard what he is going thru...I know a couple of these women that have contacted him and WOW! it just goes to show that you never really know what goes on behind the closed doors of anyone's marriage!1 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The large amount of "matches" women receive on there is no joke. It's apparent that a lot of girls want an ideal "prince charming" (evident from reading what they write under the profile section). Just imagine how easy tinder can make cheating a reality if they are in an unfulfilling relationship.Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The only way that it fails is if women are spammed by male users from different countries making it too messy and irritating to work through. The app is so vain that it really shouldn't even exist.
Where in this expert explanation of a woman's needs does it tell me how an app on a phone is responsible for provoking someone to cheat on their spouse? I'm struggling to understand this point of view.
My personal experience...tons of married men on there. Some just want to chat and pretend they're single...some trying to make it happen and meet up. I do think the app makes it easier to "safely" coerce women or manipulate a situation to their benefit with very little fear of repercussion. And it happens on the flip side too...there are married women on there too.
that's pretty interesti....
wait.
which married women ??2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The large amount of "matches" women receive on there is no joke. It's apparent that a lot of girls want an ideal "prince charming" (evident from reading what they write under the profile section). Just imagine how easy tinder can make cheating a reality if they are in an unfulfilling relationship.Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The only way that it fails is if women are spammed by male users from different countries making it too messy and irritating to work through. The app is so vain that it really shouldn't even exist.
Where in this expert explanation of a woman's needs does it tell me how an app on a phone is responsible for provoking someone to cheat on their spouse? I'm struggling to understand this point of view.
My personal experience...tons of married men on there. Some just want to chat and pretend they're single...some trying to make it happen and meet up. I do think the app makes it easier to "safely" coerce women or manipulate a situation to their benefit with very little fear of repercussion. And it happens on the flip side too...there are married women on there too.
that's pretty interesti....
wait.
which married women ??
🤷♀️ if they stare at their phone a lot and turn it screen facing diwn... those married womens3 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The large amount of "matches" women receive on there is no joke. It's apparent that a lot of girls want an ideal "prince charming" (evident from reading what they write under the profile section). Just imagine how easy tinder can make cheating a reality if they are in an unfulfilling relationship.Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »
The only way that it fails is if women are spammed by male users from different countries making it too messy and irritating to work through. The app is so vain that it really shouldn't even exist.
Where in this expert explanation of a woman's needs does it tell me how an app on a phone is responsible for provoking someone to cheat on their spouse? I'm struggling to understand this point of view.
My personal experience...tons of married men on there. Some just want to chat and pretend they're single...some trying to make it happen and meet up. I do think the app makes it easier to "safely" coerce women or manipulate a situation to their benefit with very little fear of repercussion. And it happens on the flip side too...there are married women on there too.
I absolutely agree that dating apps are used by people with significant others. However, my point is that it doesn't take an app to make a doucheknozzle. It's just a tool.5 -
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... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.9 -
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »melissawill2017 wrote: »I think the main reason is that people just change. We as humans are constantly evolving; we’re not the same people in our 20s as 30s, etc... With that- people often grow apart, but due to life circumstances they stay together. Not for love but for convenience. Life happens, work happens, stress happens, & sex gets put on the back burner, communication breaks down..
As humans we are wired to be sexual, crave a connection, the desire to be wanted/needed. When our emotional or sexual needs aren’t being met then we branch out to fill that void.
I don’t disagree but for me this seems more of an answer to why relationships end rather than why people cheat. There are reasons when a person chooses one option over another.
So why does one person end the relationship,
another person introduces new practices into the existing relationship,
another might try to improve communication,
still another might propose honest non-monogamy,
and others cheat?
They are all options that might be satisfying and most preserve the relationship. So why one over another?
ETA: and others just suffer silently till the end of their days
Good point0 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Many people say it’s better to leave a relationship than to cheat - To leave before it happens. It’s a relatively new idea that divorce is preferable to cheating. I’m not offering an opinion here one way or another because I haven’t formed one yet. And I’m not sure I’d share my personal beliefs on the subject even if I had.
Here is an interesting article. It touches on a few related points. If anyone reads more than 280 characters anymore, it’s got some food for thought.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/13/a-strong-libido-and-bored-by-monogamy-the-truth-about-women-and-sex
The following excerpt from the article is unsettling:
"Another element in the mix, she says, was the finding that a third of women who are having an extramarital relationship say their marriage or long-term partnership is happy or very happy. “So we need to understand that women aren’t just seeking variety because they’re unhappy, they’re seeking it because they need variety and novelty,” she says."
how so?
I should have provided context.
We usually think of the road to infidelity in terms of unmet needs, unhappiness, or worse. In this case, things are going well and the marriage is "happy", yet infidelity still occurs. In short, it is the opposite of what is expected.
Sadly, that happens more often than we think.0 -
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Finishiitnow wrote: »
Like shoplifting for stuff you don't need or even really want, sometimes it's for the thrill/adrenaline alone2 -
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Motorsheen wrote: »
This is an interesting perspective on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and I am here for it2 -
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I don't think that one side gets more flak, it's more an issue of how much more easier it is for a woman to cheat via apps. Men can try to cheat on apps too, but it's a hell of a lot more difficult, and that now looks like a fact nowadays.CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
Why would it be more easy for women to cheat on say Tinder than it would be for a man? You're both still using the app to get what you want. It doesn't exist anymore (I think), but Ashley Madison used to be predominantly used by men looking for extramarital affairs and it was quite successful at what its job was.2 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".3 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
Also, I ask questions and I get disagrees? C'mon.. just come on out and call me scum since whoever you happen to be, you've been disagreeing with each and every post in this thread I write.0 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »
Perfect is subjective. What you might think of as "perfect" can seem like a cage to someone else.6 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.4 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »... why does it feel like there's still more shame/stigma (even in this thread) against women who engage in extramarital affairs, than men who do? If one is wrong, then both are equally wrong, yes? So why do women get more flak for being sexually aggressive and/or pursuant in their desires?
Seems kinda... double standard-ish.
I'm not sure I agree with this, it seems like guys who cheat are just "self centered *kitten* players", women who cheat are "looking for something the relationship is lacking".
See, I don't agree with that. Men are complex creatures, too. They have needs, wants, desires. We may be biologically different, but I think our innate humanness is essentially the same, regardless of the gender.
I didn't mean to imply that as fact, or my opinion, just my impression of the stereotype1
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