The Bad Advice Thread

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Replies

  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »
    When your girlfriend is acting up just tell her "less bitchen more kitchen". Women love it when you rhyme.

    oh i can do this. here we go:

    "roses are red
    violets are blue
    your mother has flabby arms
    and you do too"

    Lol 😂

  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »
    When your girlfriend is acting up just tell her "less bitchen more kitchen". Women love it when you rhyme.

    oh i can do this. here we go:

    "roses are red
    violets are blue
    your mother has flabby arms
    and you do too"

    639q4925c6wq.gif
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Umm, 'bond touch'!?? I say "stalker much"

    ic7d0rra9sv3.png
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »
    When your girlfriend is acting up just tell her "less bitchen more kitchen". Women love it when you rhyme.

    I have a new catch phrase. Thank you.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    When she tells you she loves you to bits, always reply with "I love your bits too."
  • Okillhavecake
    Okillhavecake Posts: 4,855 Member
    Keep wearing your muzzles (Masks) even in bed at night to reduce your o2 levels and increase your carbon dioxide levels.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    get her pregnant this cuffing season and then she can't leave you next beach season

    s3sf54d5fdw1.jpeg
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    Don't exercise to lose weight. That's not what exercise is for. Exercise is for health and fitness.
    If you're exercising to lose weight you're barking up the wrong tree.

    I cannot take credit for this golden nugget of sage advice. I've stolen it from some of the all-knowing gods of fitness found right here in these forums.
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,243 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    don't have a ps5? want one?

    just start dating you a married girl who bought one for her husband. then you can share that too.
    and delete all his saves every time you're done using it
    vn5g5qs79v92.gif

    Dream bigger.
    Get her to buy you one too.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    If she added you on LinkedIn, she definitely wants you to add her on Insta and Snap.
  • GabiV125
    GabiV125 Posts: 3,128 Member
    Make sure to point out everything she has in common with your ex, good or bad. She’s going to be so impressed with your good memory and strong analytical skills.
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    if you want her to reply back faster, just start an argument.

    in reverse this would prolly get her left on read for two days
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    "lower your voice" is a perfectly okay statement to make when she's already upset with you

    add:

    When you're wrong, and you always are..... and then when you raise your voice, you're even more wrong.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    wait until *juuuuuuust* after the blessing and the plates are served on thanksgiving, before you drop the classic "sure is a shame about the election isn't it guys"
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    wait until *juuuuuuust* after the blessing and the plates are served on thanksgiving, before you drop the classic "sure is a shame about the election isn't it guys"

    I'll be substituting the words:

    "Donald Trump" for turkey.... "Hunter Biden" for mashed potatoes, "Covid Vaccine" instead of cranberry sauce.

    Pumpkin Pie will be renamed: "Maybe Rush Limbaugh was right all of this time after all ??"

    All we will then need is the traditional drunk uncle, attempting to pass dishes to the left, ( No, Uncle Charles... the other left ) and Thanksgiving Dinner will be a complete success.


    .... plus the Lions need to lose.
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    Drink coffee at 6 pm to get pumped for your workout.
    Then do vigorous exercise for at least 30 minutes.

    You will get the best night's sleep.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    JessBbody wrote: »
    Drink coffee at 6 pm to get pumped for your workout.
    Then do vigorous exercise for at least 30 minutes.

    You will get the best night's sleep.

    I was about to say this is awful advice😂😂😂, then I remembered where I was 😬
  • nitalieben
    nitalieben Posts: 681 Member
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    JessBbody wrote: »
    Drink coffee at 6 pm to get pumped for your workout.
    Then do vigorous exercise for at least 30 minutes.

    You will get the best night's sleep.

    I was about to say this is awful advice😂😂😂, then I remembered where I was 😬

    You somehow perfectly summarized my nightly endeavors..... :astonished:
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    buy her some protein powder and a cheap shaker cup for christmas
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,243 Member
    Marry for money.
  • Ironwoman1111
    Ironwoman1111 Posts: 3,913 Member
    It’s okay to live with your stalker, he’ll change
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    thanksgiving is over.

    that means now its okay to tell her how dry the turkey was.

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