WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2020
barbiecat
Posts: 17,203 Member
I love the start of a new month and the chance to make a new beginning.
Welcome to a friendly and supportive thread. We encourage each other and share about our lives. We stay away from topics that may be controversial so everyone will feel welcome.
Tell us about your successes and challenges and ask questions. If you have goals or resolutions, share those.
It has helped me to travel this journey to health and fitness with others. I hope you will join us. I check in every day while I eat my breakfast.
Please sign your post with a name or nickname and a location either specific or general. It helps us stay more connected.
Be sure to bookmark this thread so you can find it again easily.
Barbie from NW WA
My word for 2020 is "flexible"--both of body and attitude.
18
Replies
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Thanks Barbie!!2
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January ...Review ... (Distances include cycling + walking + a bit of rowing)
Mar-15 … 489.8 km (304.3 miles) = 38 hours 4 min
Apr-15 … 491.94 km (305.6 miles) = 43 hours 6 min
May-15 … 361.81 km (224.8 miles) = 35 hours 50 min
Jun-15 … 569.53 km (353.9 miles) = 41 hours 53 min
Jul-15 … 230.7 km (143.35 miles) = 32 hours 45 min
Aug-15 … 211.3 km (131.3 miles) = 28 hours 8 min
Sep-15 … 306.7 km (190.6 miles) = 35 hour 2 min
Oct-15 … 441.82 km (274.5 miles) = 47 hours 43 min
Nov-15 … 660.21 km (410.23 miles) = 60 hours 41 min
Dec-15 … 499.91 km (282.8 miles) = 54 hours 56 min
Jan-16 … 864.79 km (537.35 miles) = 65 hours 36 min
Feb-16 … 470.53 km (292.4 miles) = 40 hours 39 min
Mar-16 … 917.73 km (570.2 miles) = 66 hours 13 min
Apr-16 … 417.83 km (259.6 miles) = 40 hours 23 min
May-16 … 267.09 km (165.9 miles) = 36 hours 10 min
Jun-16 … 552.1 km (343 miles) = 54 hours 48 min
Jul-16 … 709 km (440.5 miles) = 60 hours 41 minutes
Aug-16 … 775.9 km (482.1 miles) = 54 hours 52 minutes
Sep-16 … 371.3 km (230.7 miles) = 32 hours 20 min
Oct-16 … 649 km (403.3 miles) = 49 hours 46 min
Nov-16 … 403 km (250.4 miles) = 52 hours 16 min
Dec-16 … 511.05 km (317.55 miles) = 52 hours 2 min
Jan-17 … 741.9 km (461.0 miles) = 70 hours 3 min
Feb-17 … 600.5 km (373.1 miles) = 57 hours 30 min
Mar-17 … 1113.2 km (691.7 miles) = 78 hours 25 min
Apr-17 … 1181.9 km (734.4 miles) = 76 hours 45 min
May-17 … 426.6 km (265.1 miles) = 39 hours 21 min
Jun-17 … 575.7 km (357.7 miles) = 41 hours 53 min
Jul-17 … 714 km (443.7 miles) = 52 hours 23 min
Aug-17 … 475.8 km (295.6 miles) = 38 hours 41 min
Sep-17 … 455.5 km (283 miles) = 41 hours 25 min
Oct-17 … 647.1 km (402.1 miles) = 57 hours 19 min
Nov-17 … 427.0 km (265.3 miles) = 50 hours 4 min
Dec-17 … 553.5 km (343.9 miles) = 52 hours 12 min
Jan-18 … 590.2 km (366.7 miles) = 57 hours 49 min
Feb-18 … 826.9 km (513.8 miles) = 57 hours 35 min
Mar-18 … 582.01 km (361.6 miles) = 50 hours 11 min
Apr-18 … 176.23 km (109.5 miles) = 29 hours 47 min
May -18 … 167.6 km (104.1 miles) = 29 hours 08 min
June-18 … 349.9 km (217.4 miles) = 36 hours 58 minutes
July-18 ... 324.2 km (201.5 miles) = 24 hours 26 minutes
Aug-18 ... 210.1 km (130.6 miles) = 25 hours 59 minutes
Sep-18 ... 261.7 km (162.6 miles) = 25 hours 11 minutes
Oct-18 ... 230.8 km (143.4 miles) = 30 hours 15 minutes
Nov-18 ... 216.8 km (134.7 miles) = 30 hours 3 minutes
Dec-18 ... 285.2 km (177.2 miles) = 37 hours 49 minutes
Feb-19 ... 175.5 km (109 miles) = 19 hours 8 minutes
Mar-19 ... 170.3 km (105.8 miles) = 28 hours 21 minutes
Apr-19 ... 160.3 km (99.6 miles) = 25 hours 4 minutes
May-19 ... 164.0 km (101.9 miles) = 29 hours 10 minutes
Jun-19 ... 246.2 km (153 miles) = 25 hours 40 minutes
Jul-19 ... 217.3 km (135.0 miles) = 33 hours 45 minutes
Aug-19 ... 162.5 km (100.9 miles) = 28 hours 4 minutes
Sep-19 ... 136.0 km (84.5 miles) = 23 hours 10 minutes
Oct-19 ... 196.5 km (122.1 miles) = 31 hours 27 minutes
Nov-19 ... 155.5 km (96.6 miles) = 25 hours 01 minutes
Dec-19 ... 203.7 km (126.6 miles) = 26 hours 54 minutes
2019
Cycling Total: 1021.9 km
Walking Total: 1086.6 km
Rowing Total: 109.2 km
Flights of Stairs: 1342
Goal: Really, really hoping for a better year than 2019!!
Wednesday, 1 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 14.5 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Thursday, 2 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 50.9 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Friday, 3 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 22.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Saturday, 4 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 13.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Sunday, 5 January 2020 … 3.9 km walking + 10.2 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Monday, 6 January 2020 … 3.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 8 flights of stairs
Tuesday, 7 January 2020 … 1.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 10 flights of stairs
Wednesday, 8 January 2020 … 4.3 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 10 flights of stairs
Thursday, 9 January 2020 … 9.2 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 10 flights of stairs
Thursday, 9 January 2020 … 9.2 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 10 flights of stairs
Friday, 10 January 2020 … 2.0 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Saturday, 11 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Sunday, 12 January 2020 … 3.7 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Monday, 13 January 2020 … 3.2 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
Tuesday, 14 January 2020 … 3.3 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 2 flights of stairs
Wednesday, 15 January 2020 … 3.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
Thursday, 16 January 2020 … 3.5 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
Friday, 17 January 2020 … 6.7 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 17 flights of stairs
Saturday, 18 January 2020 … 0.6 km walking + 15.6 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Sunday, 19 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 16.6 km cycling + 3.2 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Monday, 20 January 2020 … 2.0 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 15 flights of stairs
Tuesday, 21 January 2020 … 6.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 19 flights of stairs
Wednesday, 22 January 2020 … 4.0 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 3.2 km rowing + 17 flights of stairs
Thursday, 23 January 2020 … 3.7 km walking + 24.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Friday, 24 January 2020 … 1.4 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Saturday, 25 January 2020 … 4.1 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Sunday, 26 January 2020 … 4.9 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Monday, 27 January 2020 … 0.0 km walking + 21.3 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 0 flights of stairs
Tuesday, 28 January 2020 … 1.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
Wednesday, 29 January 2020 … 1.8 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
Thursday, 30 January 2020 … 5.6 km walking + 18.6 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 6 flights of stairs
Friday, 31 January 2020 … 5.6 km walking + 0.0 km cycling + 0.0 km rowing + 4 flights of stairs
2020 Monthly January
Walking Distance (km): 91.4
Walking Time (min): 1123.3
Cycling Distance (km): 206.7
Cycling Time (min): 695.3
Flights Stairs Climbed Number: 138.0
Flights Stairs Climbed Time (min): 110.4
Rowing Distance (km): 6.4
Rowing Time (min): 41.0
Other Distance: 0.0
Other Time: 0.0
Totals
Total Distance (km): 304.4
Total Distance (miles): 189.2
Total Time (min): 1969.9
Total Time (hr): 32:49:573 -
Thanks Barbie!1
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Thanks Barbie for so faithfully leading us foward.
A fresh new month, hopefully a fresh outlook.
Love you my friends
Janetr OKC4 -
Last month of summer!!
A few of our roses ...
And patio area ... I'm hoping we'll be able to have a BBQ or two out there in the next month or two.
Machka in Oz
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Thank you Barbie. I am so grateful.2
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Made it!
I’m here I’m here!
Just watching the Brexit parties 🎉 on the news reminded me of NewYorks ball drop on NewYears day.
So far 49lbs lost
Goal pass 50!
Amber Tx7 -
I am starting at 130 lbs and trying to get below 115. my left knee has started to bother me, and I want to take some stress off of it.7
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Thank you, All, for your loving comments and support! Thank you, Barbie, for getting us going again!
My January NSV was becoming a solid size 10 jeans - last January, I was an 18.
February Cuteness (although poor thing has a rash...Dr. says she will be fine):
Margaret, you mentioned a PM...I don't think I received it unless I'm having a senior moment.
Luci in WNC where we have snow!!8 -
Luci yes I sent a message to you about two days ago. If you go to home and look near the top you'll see a small envelope and if you click on that it should take you to messages.3
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Thank you Barbie for starting us off on track. 💖
Goals for February!
Log every day
1200 calories
IF 18/6
One cup of glorious coffee at noon!
16 oz water 4 times a day at mealtimes 12/2/4 and 5 pm
Persevere!
Meal for today:
Its spinach, cucumbers, cottage cheese, shiitake mushroom dressing, tomatoes, walnuts and wild rice.
💖Rebecca10 -
I've accomplished my first NSV of February!!
My Christmas decorations are down!!
Machka in Oz7 -
👋❤️2
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Amber Your posts to me in Jan thread literally made me laugh out loud. You are outrageous.
Karen in Virginia5 -
Barbie: Thank you so much for the February thread. You give us a valuable gift every month and I am grateful.
I look forward to visiting Women 50+ every day. The friendship and wisdom I find here are tremendous gifts and they are freely available every day. This group of women is an amazing blessing in my life.
My goals for February are no surprise. I choose them over and over because they are important to me and they help me improve my own health and happiness.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
Goals for February:
1. Log every bite and swallow
2. Drink plenty of water
3. Get regular healthy exercise such as yoga and walking
4. Have fun every day
5. Appreciate my blessings
6. Be a good friend
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Barbie - thank you for starting us off right once more!
I came out of January four pounds lighter than I went in, so I'm calling that a win.
I hope to come out of February lighter than that.
There, goals done and dusted.
Love y'all,
Going back to bed
Sleepless in Arkansas
Lisa9 -
This came up in my FB memories ... some of them look good.
10 Must-Make Meatless Meals Under 375 Calories
https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/10-must-make-meatless-meals-under-375-calories
I'm also intrigued by the cookbook one of the recipes there comes from ...
The Calories In, Calories Out Cookbook: 200 Everyday Recipes That Take the Guesswork Out of Counting Calories—Plus, the Exercise It Takes to Burn Them Off
https://www.amazon.com/Calories-Out-Cookbook-Guesswork-Calories-Plus-ebook/dp/B00J4ZEKPS
M in Oz4 -
Morning ladies
Thank you Barbie for keeping us going each month..
I dont really have alot of goals except to have the scale go in the other direction.. think the stress of everything and not following keto faithfully is why I am gaining..
Less than 3 weeks until Machu Picchu.. will have to go through my backpack again to make sure I have everything I need..
Karen I'm so sorry your going through all this.. I am blessed that even the childhood friends I have we stay in contact with each other a few have moved far away so we dont see them much.
I have also made new friends when I moved here .I am truly blessed.5 -
About exercise ...
10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Exercise
https://www.verywellfit.com/things-to-stop-if-you-want-to-exercise-1231403
A few quotes from that article ...
"Too often, we wait for the motivation to exercise, but waiting for that is like waiting for the motivation to scrub the toilet. Do you really want to clean the toilet? No. It's just something you have to do, but when you do it, you're really glad you did."
"Look for opportunities to exercise, rather than reasons not to - If you don't have much time, try lunchtime workouts, shorter, more intense workouts or split your routine."
"Work with your life the way it is now - We're always waiting for things to calm down but when does that actually happen? If we're lucky, we may get a week or two now and then when life isn't utter chaos. Don't try changing your schedule to fit a workout. Instead, try fitting a workout into your schedule, even if it's just 10 minutes at a time."
Machka in Oz7 -
Didn't sleep much. Nuff said.
I'm a BFF kind of person. I've always had at least one friend with whom I have a "love" relationship and get excited about seeing them. It's not a sexual thing, but close. Currently my closest friend is my Portsmouth friend that I am seeing next week. I have been her friend since school days. She had a lot of problem coping with me meeting and marrying DH. I used to go on holiday with her. Fortunately she came through it, but I still feel a bit guilty. My previous BFF was my friend Ros who died last year. Truly loved her. She also felt rejected when I got together with DH. I think if I ever entered into a partnership with a female they would find that extremely hard.
I lost a BFF when I was splitting up with my husband. She found it all too difficult, but at least she could tell me that, which I appreciated and accepted.
The worst one was my friend Shirley who I wrote about in my memoir. She died just over a year ago of corticobasal degeneration. We split up, unexpectedly and without explanation, when the kids were young. It bothered and baffled me always, so I traced her through her husband just before she died. Very sad. I can only guess at her reasons.
All these break ups leave scars as our BFFs are huge parts of our lives. Luckily most of my good old friends are still around, even if I don't see them regularly. My female friends sustain me and create a happy warm map of hotspots wherever they live.
My mother also had BFFs which lasted all their lives. I think I inherited that need and capacity from her.
Usual Saturday today. Hair wash, newspaper, run?, curry. TV.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx9 -
Couldn't get on to MFP for some reason yesterday, got even more behind. I've spent ages this morning catching up with the rest of January post it's taken ages, but the house is in such a mess at the moment (DS is laying floorboards and says it's too cold to do the plaining/sawing outside!) I thought I catch up and do all the cleaning when he has finished for the day.
Lisa - what am I longing for? I'm like a few others, I long for the impossible. DH back would be my starter, but that's not gonna happen. I'm quite content in my own way, I am lucky that I have reasonable health (need to work on being healthier though!) I don't want to end up like my mum, crippled and hardly able to walk. I have no financial worries to speak of and have enough to cope with an emergency.
Kelly - what makes my heart skip a beat? Music soothes my soul as does sunshine, I always feel so much better when the sun is shining. I love the sea and would love to move to the seaside so I could walk on the beach every day. Mind you these sound like things I am longing for
Talking of sunshine, it is actually peeking out of the grey clouds as I type - oh no it's gone back in again ! I had a spark of pleasure for a minute there
Think I'd better make a start on helping DS, heard a lot of swear words coming from his direction.
I'll catch up with the February posts later.
Love to all
Viv UK
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Can't believe it is February already. Ended January with all holiday spike gone. My major goal I had for myself was to make it to the gym at least three days a week and do what the trainer scheduled for me. Happy to say I did that. I do feel better for it. Don't want to necessarily drop any more weight but would like to continue to tone and strengthen.
So many different conversations going on the last week of January-can't really comment on all of them. I do relate to so many of them (family issues, disconnected friends). While I don't like hearing the pain of others, it is so helpful knowing that we all go through similar things, so we are not unique. I find comfort in that and it helps keep my life in perspective.
Have been giving thought to expanding social activities somewhat. Since husband died have not had a lot of connections. The last few years of his life we became a bit isolated and friendships drifted away. While many people showed up at funeral etc., and I heard the condolences and the comments about them continuing to support, haven't seen many of them. I think in part because so many are couples and they don't think of including the newly single. Not sure what next steps will be but am convinced if I am open to things possibilities will present themselves.
Off to do Saturday routine. Have a 9 am meeting at church for a committee I am on, will stop on store on way home. Plan on taking an easy weekend but have several chores to complete that will keep me busy.
Happy February all!
Ginny in Ohio4 -
Tips that have worked for me
Put your current numbers into MFP
Select sedentary as your activity level
Choose how much you'd like to lose (i.e. 1 lb/week)
MFP will give you the number of calories to eat
Eat those calories
... and weigh (with food scale) and log every bite.
A few extra things have helped me along the way:
1) Exploring my grocery stores and markets to find delicious, filling low calorie foods. It's amazing what's out there.
2) Exercising as much as possible. Exercise gives me extra calories to work with so that I can have things like pizza now and the ... but to keep my sanity and not wear myself out, my exercise quantity varies as does what I do for exercise.
3) Eating how I want to eat. This is where everyone is different ... some people prefer to employ fasting, others like high protein diets, some like vegetarian diets, some like to eat 2 or 3 meals a day, others like to graze. Go with what works for you.
Personally, if I had to define what I do, my diet is probably most similar to a Mediterranean diet with a vegetarian lean ... and I'm a grazer. I also have to adjust what I do depending on my cycling events ... they're tricky because I need the fuel without going overboard.
And stick to it for 5 weeks, then reassess how things are going.
2020 Goals.
It is difficult to make goals because I'm not sure what's going to happen one day to the next. I plan, God laughs ... or something like that. The last couple years have been a lesson in patience and flexibility and giving up a lot of what I would like to do in the interests of what needs to be done.
This site has some interesting tips about setting goals:
How to Set SMART Goals for 2020
SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/smart-goal-setting
Interestingly, he talks about 7 significant areas ...
Financial Goals: Start saving for retirement, get out of debt, or use a monthly zero-based budget.
Spiritual Goals: Pick up a new devotional, start a daily journal, or plug in to a group at your church.
Fitness Goals: Hit the gym more often, take the stairs, and remember to eat your veggies.
Educational Goals: Go back to finish your degree, get your MBA, or read a good book every month.
Family Goals: Plan one-on-one dates with your kids, have a standing date night with your spouse, or make it a point to call your mom and dad on Sunday nights.
Career Goals: Work toward a promotion or raise, learn something new about your line of work, or polish up and send out resumés if you’re looking for a new career path.
Social Goals: Say yes when someone invites you out to lunch or a social gathering—or, for some of us, say no more often.
I've modified this slightly ...
Organisation/Financial Goals -- Getting our taxes done and other paperwork in order.
Spiritual Goals -- I'd like to start attending church a bit more regularly. I'll also include relaxation and recreation in here. Down time. I get very little of that at the moment and need more. For me that might be sleep and photography.
Fitness Goals -- Exercise, Eating, Sleeping -- Working up to running 5 km at least a couple times a month. Working up to cycling 50 km at least once a month. ** I'm hoping to run a 5 km sometime in February!! **
Educational Goals -- Uni! I would like to finish my Master's degree in 2020. ** This will be interesting, given the coronavirus situation. Right now at least half my classmates are not allowed into Australia. Will the classes go ahead?? **
Family/Medical Goals -- Husband -- Never-ending stream of medical appointments + projects with 2 or 3 different organisations. And me! A goal is to get me into healthy shape again!
Career Goals -- One of the main things my area is planning to work on is streamlining the processes a bit. Meanwhile I need to learn a lot more SQL and as much about what 2 different people I work/worked with did. I'm also on the board of two organisations now. Both interest me a lot, but I'm also hoping that taking on leadership roles might help advance my career a little. ** I spent January updating our Knowledge Base ... I'll probably keep working on that for the first couple weeks of Feb at least. It's part of the streamlining processes thing. **
Social Goals -- Cycling Club. I've made a detailed list of what I need to do, which helps.
-- My Personal Website -- I have started working on this. I'd post it here, but not sure if I can: machka . net This has a social aspect in that we go to Wordpress meetings now and then.
Challenges -- I've joined 3 challenges in the Challenges forum.
If challenges appeal to you, don't forget about MFP's Challenges subforum:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/challenges
Machka in Oz4 -
Forgot to thank Barbie for the new thread. I really, really appreciate it.
I was looking at some happiness quotes to cheer myself up today and this one resonated with me. It's in tune with my UNLEASH theme.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Good morning beautiful ladies 💐💐💐!!!Happy February 1st.Thank you,Barbie for bringing us into another month,a new day and a fresh start!!!
Karen-I’m sorry about Jeanette,obviously she is not aware of the Amazing woman you are.I know how hard it is to let relationships go ,but maybe it’s time.We all love and appreciate you here-I know it’s not the same as the friendship you had with her,but she doesn’t deserve you.Prayers,hugs,love❤️,and gratitude for y’all.
Debby in Va
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One thing I'm looking forward to, when I finish my Master's degree, is digitising my "paper", including photos and going through things like clothing and toiletries. I would love to clear a lot of stuff out of my home office and bathroom in particular, for a start.
How about you?
This is an interesting read ...
Most of Your Stuff Is Worthless :: 3 Things You Should Be Doing NOW to Reduce What You Own
https://dallas.momcollective.com/most-of-your-stuff-is-worthless-3-things-you-should-be-doing-now-to-reduce-what-you-own
Machka in Oz5 -
Debby Thank you so much for the kind words. I realized last night that I am pretty sure I lost a post that had a message for you about depression. You are so valued here. What you do every day, your work ethic & what you accomplish, is amazing. You are kind & thoughtful & should never apologize for sharing your dark times with us, your friends. I have lost 2 family members to suicide (father & sister) and have another brother who is on disability due to severe depression. Also several extended family members with histories, and I appreciate how disabling it can be. I love your positive message this morning!
Karen in Virginia8 -
I split up with a BFF many years ago. Our lives had diverged I had a baby she did not. She got married and didn't even tell me. I'm still sad 20yrs on.6
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Didn't sleep much. Nuff said.
I'm a BFF kind of person. I've always had at least one friend with whom I have a "love" relationship and get excited about seeing them. It's not a sexual thing, but close. Currently my closest friend is my Portsmouth friend that I am seeing next week. I have been her friend since school days. She had a lot of problem coping with me meeting and marrying DH. I used to go on holiday with her. Fortunately she came through it, but I still feel a bit guilty. My previous BFF was my friend Ros who died last year. Truly loved her. She also felt rejected when I got together with DH. I think if I ever entered into a partnership with a female they would find that extremely hard.
I lost a BFF when I was splitting up with my husband. She found it all too difficult, but at least she could tell me that, which I appreciated and accepted.
The worst one was my friend Shirley who I wrote about in my memoir. She died just over a year ago of corticobasal degeneration. We split up, unexpectedly and without explanation, when the kids were young. It bothered and baffled me always, so I traced her through her husband just before she died. Very sad. I can only guess at her reasons.
All these break ups leave scars as our BFFs are huge parts of our lives. Luckily most of my good old friends are still around, even if I don't see them regularly. My female friends sustain me and create a happy warm map of hotspots wherever they live.
My mother also had BFFs which lasted all their lives. I think I inherited that need and capacity from her.
Usual Saturday today. Hair wash, newspaper, run?, curry. TV.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Heather
Thank you for putting some things into perspective for me (along with others, including Lisa & Beth).
The intimacy of a BFF relationship would inevitably be affected by a same-sex relationship. It's so simple when I think about it. I messed up a key part of my relationship with Jeanette by experiencing emotional romantic intimacy with a woman.
In retrospect, my relationship with my partner messed up more than one relationship. It messed up my relationship with my son and with my daughter-in-law's parents who were close friends…and were parishioners of my partner, who was a UU minister at the time…oh it was so life-altering in so many ways. My partner ended up losing her church over it…and I could go on but I'll end it there for today.
>>>
This morning as I was finally drifting off around 5 a.m. my partner rolled through dog poop on the kitchen floor. Yes she did. You can't make this stuff up.
Karen in Virginia
8 -
Welcome February! and thanks Barbie for keeping us together.
I'm enjoying a cup of coffee (or two) before DH and I go for a walk on a different trail today, hopefully the rain won't be too heavy!
Sue Happy Birthday.
Ginny hugs to you, I don't know the answer to reaching out except to keep at it. My widowed friend (she was a caretaker for her disabled husband for 10 traumatic years) has told me that it is difficult straddling the differences between friends that are couples, they are afraid of widowhood and don't want to face what she is facing every day. She has said that for some they simply are too afraid to hang out with her because they don't want to face her sadness or know what to say to her. But she reaches out regularly, schedules lunch dates and it's true she tends to lean towards singles, not couples. She has a lot of divorced and widowed friends. She's retired and we catch up for lunch about once a month. My friend is not shy, she'll just call it as she sees it, and will focus on active choices (ski friends, travel friends, volunteer friends, old work friends, church friends)
Feb goals: Walk on Treadmill, drink water, declutter a little every day!
NYKAREN
5
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