Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
Replies
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KosmosKitten wrote: »hawkeye45_ wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
How do I find out about this kink/fetish? Is it something they bring to me in an effort to get me to participate in something they like, or did they leave a browser tab open by accident?
Give your answer for both and let's see how it changes depending on the situation. There's a lot of shame around kinks/fetishes, even ones that are more normal nowadays, so I can see why so many are hesitant to bring it up to their partners, particularly if they didn't come into the relationship with it.
If they bring it up to me in an attempt for us to be closer together, I will do everything within my own limits to accommodate them. If I see a browser tab that was accidentally left open, I don't do or say anything different. I certainly don't confront them about it. When they're ready to bring it up, they will. Though, I'm speaking from the perspective of someone whose online friend group consists almost exclusively of people with kinks/fetishes that are at least semi-unusual.2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
I would imagine that the fetish would be more important to the person who has it vs the way I’d feel about it in the case that I’m not into it. Like do they ‘need’ it? If I don’t wanna then I’m not doing it. That could be a dealbreaker for them and their choice to end things. Depending what it is I’d be down to try in theory. 🤷🏻♀️
If it's just something they like to watch and I just think it's weird isn't a problem just a odd quirk.2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
The "what are you into" pre-game talk is a regular thing for me with someone I'm going to share bodily fluids with. Therefore, and ideally, there's no surprises on any given evening. Not yet anyway.
If there is something new or unexpected and I'm not morally/ethically opposed and physically capable then I'm game at least once.
If it turns out I'm not into it, I'll make that clear once I've "processed" whatever elaborate series of activities were involved. All this perhaps...
🤸🏼♀️🤸♂️🤸🏿♀️🦾🤏🏿🤳🕸️🍯🛸🪑🚿☂️🧰🕐➡️🕕
At that point, it's a matter or finding compromise or they hit the bricks in order to enjoy their fetish more regularly with someone who is more willing.
Who am I to block their joy? 🤷🏿♀️3 -
hawkeye45_ wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »hawkeye45_ wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
How do I find out about this kink/fetish? Is it something they bring to me in an effort to get me to participate in something they like, or did they leave a browser tab open by accident?
Give your answer for both and let's see how it changes depending on the situation. There's a lot of shame around kinks/fetishes, even ones that are more normal nowadays, so I can see why so many are hesitant to bring it up to their partners, particularly if they didn't come into the relationship with it.
If they bring it up to me in an attempt for us to be closer together, I will do everything within my own limits to accommodate them. If I see a browser tab that was accidentally left open, I don't do or say anything different. I certainly don't confront them about it. When they're ready to bring it up, they will. Though, I'm speaking from the perspective of someone whose online friend group consists almost exclusively of people with kinks/fetishes that are at least semi-unusual.
Seems like a good response. Do you think it would change your interaction with them knowing that they had a particular fetish (again, not harmful to anyone and not illegal) but weren't telling you (for whatever reason)?0 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
would prolly be okay trying anything once2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
older ive gotten the less i care so much.
so i figure id give it a shot whatever it is4 -
When I date people these days I pretty much lead with my main kinks. I have life partners, so I just really have room in my life for a few friends-with-benefits, and that's going to involve kink, cause that's how I roll.
The question of how to handle incompatible kinks is for us the same as saying "I like horror movies and my partner doesn't." Answer: Find someone else to go see horror movies with.
With my life partners, I have one who likes being tied up. I find tying people up boring as can be. I just...rope doesn't do it for me. So I go (in normal times) to the kink club meetups, and we arrange for occasions where he can go have a session with a friend who likes to tie but doesn't have a partner for it. He likes to have me there, but being there means reading a book on the couch and occasionally keeping an eye on him, and driving him home afterwards while he's too blissed out to drive. I much prefer that to actually doing the work, my friend gets practice, and he gets the rope he likes.
That said, I'm not going to get into a serious relationship with another dominant-identified person. And there are a few kinks that are the kind of all-encompassing life kink that I don't go for, and so I'm not going to get into a relationship with someone who needs someone who's going to aid and abet their kink. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's a lot like people who are seriously into a fandom and decorate in it and structure their lives around ComicCon or whatnot; you have to be okay with that in your life if you're going to date them, and okay with some degree of participation, or it will not work. It's okay not to be into Superman to that degree; it's okay for me to prefer my guys to wear men's clothing.
That's where I'm at, anyway.3 -
Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
the line prolly changes depending on the person
never met someone with super crazy fetishes imo
i figure they happen just bc lil funny ways our brains are wired and then random experiences thru life4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
I....play pretty hard. My limits are pretty much around "do I know how to do that in a mostly-safe manner" and "can my body handle it" which is getting better, but even when I am at goal weight I'll still have arthritis in my feet and that may limit my standing time and possibly what shoes I can wear. (This is kink related, cause a lot of guys kink for women in heels.)
There's a few fetishes that I just don't get into. I'm not repelled by them, they're not unsafe, they just don't move me. Basically, I'll do them if you pay me for my time and possibly the required equipment. (If you draw blood or work with bodily fluids on things that can't be bleached (like leather) best practice is that those things are only ever used on that one person again. This is why my canes are made of hard plastic, not rattan.)
Encountered? I prefer them. (giggle) I live it 24/7. (It's not as exciting as everyone thinks.)
I think in some cases we just come wired kinky. I've been fascinated by power dynamics and pain and psychology since I can remember. I didn't get into it in a formal sense until I was in my forties, but it was answering deep drives within me. I think in some cases people are sandboxing power dynamics and traumas in the society if not in themselves and reenacting them in a kind of sacred drama. But I have no idea where my kink for sharp and shiny things comes from. All I know was the first time I saw someone use a knife in a scene, I.... had to go change clothes.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
Hmm, ours has been closing at 11pm ever since I moved here. It was a bit strange getting used to, since I got used to 24 hour locations. The best time to shop there (if you need to for whatever reason) is usually at 11pm to 2am. After that at 24 hour locations, you run into a lot of drunk people coming there after the bars shut down.
Now, I guess that's not as big an issue because the bars also close at the same time the Wal-Mart does (11pm). I also notice that the more mentally unwell people in the town like to shop later at night (which is totally understandable). I feel bad for them, too. Many don't do well in large crowds or with loud noises, so the 1-3am slot was perfect for them.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
Hmm, ours has been closing at 11pm ever since I moved here. It was a bit strange getting used to, since I got used to 24 hour locations. The best time to shop there (if you need to for whatever reason) is usually at 11pm to 2am. After that at 24 hour locations, you run into a lot of drunk people coming there after the bars shut down.
Now, I guess that's not as big an issue because the bars also close at the same time the Wal-Mart does (11pm). I also notice that the more mentally unwell people in the town like to shop later at night (which is totally understandable). I feel bad for them, too. Many don't do well in large crowds or with loud noises, so the 1-3am slot was perfect for them.
yeah its a convergence of crazies out there the last few months0 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
😂 at the word choices here.
Also, I'm the type of partner who will slowly - week over week and year over year - lovingly and gently pick at your brain and tease apart your psyche.
I love to get insights as to why one does the things one does or are into the things they're into. I mean if we've gotten to the point of sharing bodily fluids - which I don't take lightly or casually - what barriers are necessary?
I want access to your heart 🥺, mind 😵, and soul 😇 not just your body...even if it is adorned with cufflinks just as I requested 😏3 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
😂 at the word choices here.
Also, I'm the type of partner who will slowly - week over week and year over year - lovingly and gently pick at your brain and tease apart your psyche.
I love to get insights as to why one does the things one does or are into the things they're into. I mean if we've gotten to the point of sharing bodily fluids - which I don't take lightly or casually - what barriers are necessary?
I want access to your heart 🥺, mind 😵, and soul 😇 not just your body...even if it is adorned with cufflinks just as I requested 😏
i think ive confounded a few people in my time1 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
😂 at the word choices here.
Also, I'm the type of partner who will slowly - week over week and year over year - lovingly and gently pick at your brain and tease apart your psyche.
I love to get insights as to why one does the things one does or are into the things they're into. I mean if we've gotten to the point of sharing bodily fluids - which I don't take lightly or casually - what barriers are necessary?
I want access to your heart 🥺, mind 😵, and soul 😇 not just your body...even if it is adorned with cufflinks just as I requested 😏
I do this; it has driven people away. Just sayin'. Didn't matter how subtly or gently I attempted it, still drove them off. Some people just do NOT want to reveal anything about themselves.. almost like they're afraid I'll find out they're a serial killer or something.
3 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
😂 at the word choices here.
Also, I'm the type of partner who will slowly - week over week and year over year - lovingly and gently pick at your brain and tease apart your psyche.
I love to get insights as to why one does the things one does or are into the things they're into. I mean if we've gotten to the point of sharing bodily fluids - which I don't take lightly or casually - what barriers are necessary?
I want access to your heart 🥺, mind 😵, and soul 😇 not just your body...even if it is adorned with cufflinks just as I requested 😏
i think ive confounded a few people in my time
Past tense; you're still doing it. 2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
haven't found the line so much yet i guess
have encountered unusual interests and ended up sparking fires in my brain going forward afterwards
dont think about the causes too much if i can help it anymore
They interest me because people and their motivations for doing things interest me. I'm a "people watcher". Like a person who watches birds, but I enjoy watching people doing people things. Don't care to participate, though.
i figure i got my own issues and im at the point i don't care to explain them so much. so i figure other folks are the same way. if they wanted me to know why they are the way they are about certain things they'd just tell me.
i mostly people watch at Walmart. i actually feel really bad for the deformed and mangled people who can't go shopping at 3am anymore due to the reduced hours
😂 at the word choices here.
Also, I'm the type of partner who will slowly - week over week and year over year - lovingly and gently pick at your brain and tease apart your psyche.
I love to get insights as to why one does the things one does or are into the things they're into. I mean if we've gotten to the point of sharing bodily fluids - which I don't take lightly or casually - what barriers are necessary?
I want access to your heart 🥺, mind 😵, and soul 😇 not just your body...even if it is adorned with cufflinks just as I requested 😏
i think ive confounded a few people in my time
Past tense; you're still doing it.
oh no i certainly dont want that1 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »
Seems like a good response. Do you think it would change your interaction with them knowing that they had a particular fetish (again, not harmful to anyone and not illegal) but weren't telling you (for whatever reason)?
Definitely not. In the specific example of my marriage, we have a lot of our own time, our own things. She makes fabric things for her Etsy shop, I make sawdust. She's allowed to have whatever separate from me that she needs.1 -
hawkeye45_ wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »
Seems like a good response. Do you think it would change your interaction with them knowing that they had a particular fetish (again, not harmful to anyone and not illegal) but weren't telling you (for whatever reason)?
Definitely not. In the specific example of my marriage, we have a lot of our own time, our own things. She makes fabric things for her Etsy shop, I make sawdust. She's allowed to have whatever separate from me that she needs.
That's a great way to look at it; hadn't considered it in that light before.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
I'm not sure how to respond to this....
other than to ask "are you barefoot right now?"2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
If it's not enjoyable for me and he really wants and needs that fetish.. then yeah, I'd end it, it would be unfair to both of us otherwise.
But Id try most things once, so within reason I'd give it a go3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
I'm not sure how to respond to this....
other than to ask "are you barefoot right now?"
Yep.
Nice try. 1 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
If it's not enjoyable for me and he really wants and needs that fetish.. then yeah, I'd end it, it would be unfair to both of us otherwise.
But Id try most things once, so within reason I'd give it a go
How does a person know if they need a particular kink or fetish vs. wanting it? I have quite a few and while I'd really like to engage in all of them 100% of the time, none of them are essential for living. I can still engage in a really good time without them, although if any particular kink/fetish came up, it would probably qualify as a phenomenal time.
I guess I'm asking: where is the line between compromising your wants and desires in this regard vs. an actual need that keeps a person from enjoying life with a person? In my experience, no person I've been with who had kinks actually *needed* them for the relationship to continue. They were just a bonus. Some were more extreme interests, too.
I do agree with you, though. Just curious and picking the collective brains of Chit-Chat because it fascinates me. 1 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Guys/gals: What would you do if you found out your long term partner ended up having an unusual kink/fetish? Nothing illegal or harmful to others, just... out of the ordinary. How do you respond? Let's assume that they developed this fetish throughout the course of your relationship (they didn't come into the relationship knowing they were already into this particular thing).
- How do you respond?
- Is it a deal breaker?
- Do you attempt to engage to see if maybe you'll enjoy it, too or at least not mind it?
- If the above is no, it's not enjoyable... do you end your relationship with this person?
Saw a Reddit thread earlier today that gave me pause and it seemed like an interesting question for y'all.
If it's not enjoyable for me and he really wants and needs that fetish.. then yeah, I'd end it, it would be unfair to both of us otherwise.
But Id try most things once, so within reason I'd give it a go
How does a person know if they need a particular kink or fetish vs. wanting it? I have quite a few and while I'd really like to engage in all of them 100% of the time, none of them are essential for living. I can still engage in a really good time without them, although if any particular kink/fetish came up, it would probably qualify as a phenomenal time.
I guess I'm asking: where is the line between compromising your wants and desires in this regard vs. an actual need that keeps a person from enjoying life with a person? In my experience, no person I've been with who had kinks actually *needed* them for the relationship to continue. They were just a bonus. Some were more extreme interests, too.
I do agree with you, though. Just curious and picking the collective brains of Chit-Chat because it fascinates me.
i wouldn’t want to be in relationship that didn’t do the thing i like. its just a big deal to me. but maybe some things are small fun and other things like change the entire dynamic all the time
and me tryin to stay out of moderator trouble talking bout this stuff like
5 -
Guys/Gals: What is the best musical genre and why?2
-
KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
All the bathroom stuff, medical stuff and bondage is a hard pass. No.
A guy liked to lick my armpits and that was pretty weird.
Who knows?
4 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »Related questions:
- Where is the "line" for you personally as to what you would be willing to try or engage in assuming they were legal and involved consenting partners (also legal)?
- Have you ever actually encountered someone with erm... more unusual interests in the bedroom?
- Does anyone ever wonder where these interests originate from in the first place? What dictates what a person will find sexually arousing that is a complete turn off or non-interest for another? I've always wondered where these interests arise from. I don't have answers, only questions.
All the bathroom stuff, medical stuff and bondage is a hard pass. No.
A guy liked to lick my armpits and that was pretty weird.
Who knows?
You know, just when I think I've learned all the fetishes or sexual interests there are out there.. something just comes randomly out of left field and shatters that illusion. 1
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