Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..
Replies
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I don't generally converse via text... Text is for quick and simple. Any more than that and I'll just ignore them.2
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twitchandshout wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
I really don't enjoy texting. I think I've only meet 1 person in my life that I could text all day and always have something to say but we don't talk anymore. Besides that, I'll only text to check in on friends and see how they're doing.
That’s how I am about the telephone.
I used to be like that about the phone. I would ignore most my phone calls and then text 😆 for some reason, since I got sick I've answered most of them and it's been comforting to me hearing my friends and family's voices and FaceTime with them ❤ I still text but I pick up the phone more often now.3 -
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
I really don't enjoy texting. I think I've only meet 1 person in my life that I could text all day and always have something to say but we don't talk anymore. Besides that, I'll only text to check in on friends and see how they're doing.
That’s how I am about the telephone.
I used to be like that about the phone. I would ignore most my phone calls and then text 😆 for some reason, since I got sick I've answered most of them and it's been comforting to me hearing my friends and family's voices and FaceTime with them ❤ I still text but I pick up the phone more often now.
dis me0 -
Texting is too slow for me and then people don't say anything, they just don't text back, no seeya's goodbyes, nothing. It's oh ok, we're done?
I don't like the phone either because there is always awkward moments when lulls appear and both parties grasp for another topic or awkwardly say well, guess I gotta go. Even worse with video chats. DD even pulled out a card game she got about conversation prompts for our last conversation.
I'd rather email. I edit a lot because of my self critical moments, can't do that with the phone or texting if you hit send too quickly.
Multi tasking? Hah, I gave that up when I gave up child care.3 -
Get out of my head, Reenie. I feel like this a lot.Texting is too slow for me and then people don't say anything, they just don't text back, no seeya's goodbyes, nothing. It's oh ok, we're done?
I don't like the phone either because there is always awkward moments when lulls appear and both parties grasp for another topic or awkwardly say well, guess I gotta go. Even worse with video chats. DD even pulled out a card game she got about conversation prompts for our last conversation.
I'd rather email. I edit a lot because of my self critical moments, can't do that with the phone or texting if you hit send too quickly.
Multi tasking? Hah, I gave that up when I gave up child care.
Here’s something though: I made myself a rule a few months ago that if I want to text I will and if I don’t I won’t and so far it seems to be working out for me. The consequences of saying something awkward just aren’t as big as I thought they would be. I say awkward *kitten* all the time and most people don’t seem to notice. The same with texting goodbyes. If I want to, I do and if I don’t, I don’t. Maybe the person on the other end thinks my goodbye is weird but so far no one has said anything to that effect.
And if someone does think my well intentioned messaging is weird or annoying I guess that might be their problem
Eta: as for being too slow, I use voice to text quite a bit0 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
Just a couple, any more and I get the convos mixed up, which gets me into trouble
My mom does not need to get THAT message 😂2 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »eatpolerepeat wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
Just a couple, any more and I get the convos mixed up, which gets me into trouble
My mom does not need to get THAT message 😂
Guilty. I received a text from my mum once which said "Rachel, can you please pick me some bleach up?" She never calls me Rachel. I was like, ok, but weird request for her. She then told me she'd gotten my text meant for someone else 😬
Oh my goodness. I am laughing out loud 🤣🤣🤣1 -
twitchandshout wrote: »
I don't have many relationships with people I don't see in-person on a regular basis... so most of my convesating I prefer to do in person. When that's not an option, then text messaging is for quick-hit notes/messages... anything longer than that needs a keyboard and is usually email or FB messenger.2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »
I prefer conversate in person, face-to-face. Anything not face-to-face is longer form requiring a keyboard (email or FB messenger, usually). But generally speaking I don't really have relationships with people I don't see often, and the few that I do don't require regular lots of dialog.
Makes sense.
Most of the people I care about live 1-24 driving hours away from me.2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »
I prefer conversate in person, face-to-face. Anything not face-to-face is longer form requiring a keyboard (email or FB messenger, usually). But generally speaking I don't really have relationships with people I don't see often, and the few that I do don't require regular lots of dialog.
Makes sense.
Most of the people I care about live 1-24 driving hours away from me.
blah... that's no bueno.1 -
twitchandshout wrote: »
I don't have many relationships with people I don't see in-person on a regular basis... so most of my convesating I prefer to do in person. When that's not an option, then text messaging is for quick-hit notes/messages... anything longer than that needs a keyboard and is usually email or FB messenger.
Wish I could say the same. I haven't lived in the same area (or state) with most of my friends or family in over 20 years. Sometimes, I am on a different continent, so face-to-face really isn't an option most of the time.
I am left with no choice but to text or email most people, particularly when overseas as I usually will not pay for international calling (it's insanely expensive).
But honestly, I don't have many relationships period anymore. Most of my friends either straight up abandoned our friendship because I wasn't around, wasn't available when they thought I should be or got pissed off because I didn't respond to texting or messages as "often as they thought I should".
Really, I just got tired of the *kitten* constraints other people tried to put on me because they felt there was some international standard for texting frequency. The few friends I have do not rely on texting and we never talk outside of occasional messages (say what we need to say and then move on).
Also, I'll clarify and say that when a person refers to text, I use it to mean phone texting or typing messages through FB on a computer or using a service like Discord. My default is to use a keyboard. Texting with a tiny phone takes too long and I'm not terribly fond of talking on the phone, but I'll do it when I have no other option (which is often).
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twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
4 or 5, plus a few friends/family. Stamina depends on how interesting the topics of conversation are. No mix ups yet...
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twitchandshout wrote: »Dear People,
How many text conversations can you carry on simultaneously and for how long? Ever mix them up?
4 or 5, plus a few friends/family. Stamina depends on how interesting the topics of conversation are. No mix ups yet...
This is a talent1 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »
I don't have many relationships with people I don't see in-person on a regular basis... so most of my convesating I prefer to do in person. When that's not an option, then text messaging is for quick-hit notes/messages... anything longer than that needs a keyboard and is usually email or FB messenger.
Wish I could say the same. I haven't lived in the same area (or state) with most of my friends or family in over 20 years. Sometimes, I am on a different continent, so face-to-face really isn't an option most of the time.
I am left with no choice but to text or email most people, particularly when overseas as I usually will not pay for international calling (it's insanely expensive).
But honestly, I don't have many relationships period anymore. Most of my friends either straight up abandoned our friendship because I wasn't around, wasn't available when they thought I should be or got pissed off because I didn't respond to texting or messages as "often as they thought I should".
Really, I just got tired of the *kitten* constraints other people tried to put on me because they felt there was some international standard for texting frequency. The few friends I have do not rely on texting and we never talk outside of occasional messages (say what we need to say and then move on).
Also, I'll clarify and say that when a person refers to text, I use it to mean phone texting or typing messages through FB on a computer or using a service like Discord. My default is to use a keyboard. Texting with a tiny phone takes too long and I'm not terribly fond of talking on the phone, but I'll do it when I have no other option (which is often).
I've got kids, a house, and a job. I'm not looking for more obligation/responsibility... so if that's what a "friendship" brings to the table, it won't be a friendship for long.
Similar reasons for why I don't do/like holidays. If I like you, I'll hang out with you and get you things regardless of what the calendar says. And I don't need an excuse to drink or eat or grill or whatever else. Why do I need to buy stuff for people I don't like just because they existed for another year or because some company/church/advertiser decided some date was going to be "special".2 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro1 -
I've known a few couples that it works well for. Others, not so much. They ended in divorce. I'm not into sharing, so I'd say nope.2
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twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
To the open marriage or the door? 🤔1 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.9 -
twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏2 -
3
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kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏3 -
kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏
Tbf, if I was ever so fortunate to catch hotcop, I might lock him up and keep him to myself. I’m a hypocrite that way4 -
eatpolerepeat wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »eatpolerepeat wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
😂
Same. I don't think this would ever work for me either.
I don't share my food 😏
That’s where I draw the line as well 😂1 -
kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏twitchandshout wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏
Tbf, if I was ever so fortunate to catch hotcop, I might lock him up and keep him to myself. I’m a hypocrite that way
Of course! This is mfp. Y’all know the rules around here.
2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏
Tbf, if I was ever so fortunate to catch hotcop, I might lock him up and keep him to myself. I’m a hypocrite that way
No you keep him. It’s you I need.2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
pro
Elaborate...
It works very well for some people. The most important thing is honesty and communication. Respecting each other’s needs.
I get really pissy when people equate ethical non-monogamy with cheating. Everyone gets to define their own relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners.
Will you marry me? 😏
Only if you’re willing to leave things open for her still.😏
Tbf, if I was ever so fortunate to catch hotcop, I might lock him up and keep him to myself. I’m a hypocrite that way
No you keep him. It’s you I need.
I like you ❤️2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »twitchandshout wrote: »
I don't have many relationships with people I don't see in-person on a regular basis... so most of my convesating I prefer to do in person. When that's not an option, then text messaging is for quick-hit notes/messages... anything longer than that needs a keyboard and is usually email or FB messenger.
Wish I could say the same. I haven't lived in the same area (or state) with most of my friends or family in over 20 years. Sometimes, I am on a different continent, so face-to-face really isn't an option most of the time.
I am left with no choice but to text or email most people, particularly when overseas as I usually will not pay for international calling (it's insanely expensive).
But honestly, I don't have many relationships period anymore. Most of my friends either straight up abandoned our friendship because I wasn't around, wasn't available when they thought I should be or got pissed off because I didn't respond to texting or messages as "often as they thought I should".
Really, I just got tired of the *kitten* constraints other people tried to put on me because they felt there was some international standard for texting frequency. The few friends I have do not rely on texting and we never talk outside of occasional messages (say what we need to say and then move on).
Also, I'll clarify and say that when a person refers to text, I use it to mean phone texting or typing messages through FB on a computer or using a service like Discord. My default is to use a keyboard. Texting with a tiny phone takes too long and I'm not terribly fond of talking on the phone, but I'll do it when I have no other option (which is often).
I've got kids, a house, and a job. I'm not looking for more obligation/responsibility... so if that's what a "friendship" brings to the table, it won't be a friendship for long.
Similar reasons for why I don't do/like holidays. If I like you, I'll hang out with you and get you things regardless of what the calendar says. And I don't need an excuse to drink or eat or grill or whatever else. Why do I need to buy stuff for people I don't like just because they existed for another year or because some company/church/advertiser decided some date was going to be "special".
Understandable. I'm in the same boat. I just had to drop a lot of people because they expected so much that was just entirely unrealistic for anyone with responsibilities that didn't revolve around themselves. I just don't have the patience or mental fortitude to deal with it anymore.
The ones that have stuck around understood what you do and for them I am grateful.1 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
Depends on the people, honestly. If they are both the non-jealous/possessive types, can practice safe sex and aren't causing strife for other relationships, sure, I see no problem with it.
It's a relationship like any other; still takes a bunch of work to have it be successful.
Personally, it would not bother me if my husband asked for this. He won't, but it wouldn't bother me because I trust him, his judgement and who he'd choose to be with if it weren't me and don't really worry about him "never coming back home".
I think my large concern personally would be as a parent; if kids are involved, it's trickier because it's an unconventional relationship dynamic you would have to explain to them and it could cause turmoil as they grow. But again, that could be entirely dependent on the people involved and the personality and age of the children.
2 -
💯KosmosKitten wrote: »Kashmir_314_ wrote: »Ladies and gentlemen -
A coworker was recently blindsided by this and I'd love to know people's thoughts. Maybe even personal experiences.
Open marriages?
My answer? There's the door.
Depends on the people, honestly. If they are both the non-jealous/possessive types, can practice safe sex and aren't causing strife for other relationships, sure, I see no problem with it.
It's a relationship like any other; still takes a bunch of work to have it be successful.
Personally, it would not bother me if my husband asked for this. He won't, but it wouldn't bother me because I trust him, his judgement and who he'd choose to be with if it weren't me and don't really worry about him "never coming back home".
I think my large concern personally would be as a parent; if kids are involved, it's trickier because it's an unconventional relationship dynamic you would have to explain to them and it could cause turmoil as they grow. But again, that could be entirely dependent on the people involved and the personality and age of the children.
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