Messages from creepers :-/

1568101117

Replies

  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Jesse, I never thought I'd say this, but.. you'd be safer with me 😆

    Jo... I'm going to be like... 😂

    th?id=OGC.8a64fc6ee733b475b9abeb763e536f54&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2f1254MgFJfISZxu%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=m%2f4rKA8FFjt9gE6CJpM53hP1X9Gyp740TcQvdrXIqQY%3d
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Jesse, I never thought I'd say this, but.. you'd be safer with me 😆

    Jo... I'm going to be like... 😂

    th?id=OGC.8a64fc6ee733b475b9abeb763e536f54&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2f1254MgFJfISZxu%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=m%2f4rKA8FFjt9gE6CJpM53hP1X9Gyp740TcQvdrXIqQY%3d

    giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f295ef097f36aec23dbd510ba7a22f222a6d855880f&rid=giphy.gif
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    I'm being highly entertained this a.m. :)
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Lmao😂😂😂...famous last words......{for one of you}....🤷😉
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Lmao😂😂😂...famous last words......{for one of you}....🤷😉

    giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29def56c7fd3cd22fd6e5c68a8c3c0b9afd7e8463d&rid=giphy.gif
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    edited March 2020
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Good luck. 😬
    It was really nice chatting with you.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Shifts? 😂 Aren’t you cute. The naive ones make the best vict..err I mean employees! 😃

    Showers are mandatory and will be filmed.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    If there's an out clause, take it 😁 I got forced into marriage and I still can't get out 😂

    Oh, my sweet wife. I understand. Jealousy is normal when a new person joins the family. But don’t worry, I still love you and will give you lots of attention. 🤗😘
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    tinak33 wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Good luck. 😬
    It was really nice chatting with you.

    Don't worry... I'm going to try to get conjugal visitors worked out 🤷🏽‍♂️
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    😂
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Shifts? 😂 Aren’t you cute. The naive ones make the best vict..err I mean employees! 😃

    Showers are mandatory and will be filmed.

    Well... Sounds like nothing new for me 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Do I get full medical?
    How do you handle "on the job injuries"?
    Can I keep my doctor?
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    tinak33 wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Good luck. 😬
    It was really nice chatting with you.

    Don't worry... I'm going to try to get conjugal visitors worked out 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Sorry, but due to current situations, visitors are no longer allowed in the company.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Shifts? 😂 Aren’t you cute. The naive ones make the best vict..err I mean employees! 😃

    Showers are mandatory and will be filmed.

    Well... Sounds like nothing new for me 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Do I get full medical?
    How do you handle "on the job injuries"?
    Can I keep my doctor?

    I have multiple over the counter medications and bandaids in various sizes.

    Please, stop worrying so much. It will all be okay. 🙂
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    If there's an out clause, take it 😁 I got forced into marriage and I still can't get out 😂

    Oh, my sweet wife. I understand. Jealousy is normal when a new person joins the family. But don’t worry, I still love you and will give you lots of attention. 🤗😘

    Poor Mr Muscles 😔😂

    Das me 😏😂
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    gothchiq wrote: »
    ...who the heck is like "Aw yeah an old married woman with arthritis, imma tap that!" crazy.

    I mean...it may also have something to do with the intrigue of you being an "eldergoth" and the impeccable tats and the great overall sense of style. And some people are into married people (which is gross, imo, - if the marriage isn't open - but we all have our kinks)
  • that_night_in_paris
    that_night_in_paris Posts: 457 Member
    Why do people have to be so creepy on internet forums?

    What ever happened to walking past the cosmetics section at target a few dozen times and getting on with your day.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Why do people have to be so creepy on internet forums?

    What ever happened to walking past the cosmetics section at target a few dozen times and getting on with your day.

    because it bothers people like you...tm72p1leizc6.jpg
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,669 Member
    74syonbf4xbr.gif
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

    th?id=OGC.9ec2a44aad91b6ae81408435413c7fa4&pid=Api&rurl=https%3a%2f%2fmedia.giphy.com%2fmedia%2fuhvTwtAeL5e5a%2fgiphy.gif&ehk=EAgwyb2qvui9pXiqs%2fa3VwPNakkdcPBWnW13WADqlV0%3d

    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

    5xg7w4vwntq3.jpg

    Shifts? 😂 Aren’t you cute. The naive ones make the best vict..err I mean employees! 😃

    Showers are mandatory and will be filmed.

    Well... Sounds like nothing new for me 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Do I get full medical?
    How do you handle "on the job injuries"?
    Can I keep my doctor?

    I have multiple over the counter medications and bandaids in various sizes.

    Please, stop worrying so much. It will all be okay. 🙂

    Good enough, your contract has been accepted...

    Stand by for creepy messages and trial by fire... 🔥
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    Do you have a resume?
    Stage 5 creeper here... My new hours of operation will be Wed-Sunday 11p-7a pdt...

    Who's hiring? 🤷🏽‍♂️

    CV and cover letter please.

    Yes but unfortunately no references... All past, present and future clients are guaranteed anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Let's just say my specialties include but not limited to, oiling pumps, lubing shafts and I can go all night long... 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Creepy enough?

    Just mildly creepy. I was looking to hire someone with a little more experience.

    Are you willing to be trained?

    Yes... So why don't you grab your saddle and come break me like a pony... Baby 😉...

    Better? 😂

    Getting better. Maybe I could hire you on a temp basis.

    We definitely need to work on your terminology. Baby is so 90's.

    No problem... I'm a value package kind of guy...
    The contract can be long, hard, and challenge to swallow... But the benefits are endless and will leave you breathless...

    Speaking of benefits... What are the dimensions of of my work area, also what's the view like? 😏

    zsol5f04e9so.png


    Your work area will be similar to this. I'll probably drape a blanket over it so you'll be surrounded in darkness at all times except during outings. We're going to need to get you some proper attire.

    You prefer bears or foxes? What size furry costume do you think you'll need?

    😬... Well it's tough times out there rn for sure, and night shift can be a bear, I guess I will be too then 😂...

    But the contract must remain "non-binding" 😬... I gotta draw the line somewhere..

    Not exactly what I meant by work space...
    What's your shoe size? 😂

    Bear is a nice choice! It will suit you perfectly. :)

    There will be no line drawing. I am sorry, but once you come work for me, you will be bound. Possibly shackled and duct taped.

    I really hate bragging, but I wear a size 14 in men's. ;)

    Well I suppose the costume does help me maintain my anonymity 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Will lunch be provided... I follow a Mediterranean diet, mostly seafood like oysters and various types of sushi, lots of Evoo ... Like a bear 🐻...

    And I'm a decent painter... 😏

    Meals will be provided but I cannot guarantee your dietary preferences. Do you like Spahetti-O’s and PopTarts?

    Painter huh? I hope you’re able to cope when you’re no longer able to use your hands. 🤔

    Can you start Monday? Pay will begin at $.72 plus tips.

    Well it is definitely new experience to add to the resume 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    How generous are you on that tip? 😏...
    I have a feeling you just might be my favorite mistake 😂

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    Oh, if you’re hired permanently after the temporary employment, you’ll no longer need a resume. 😏

    Tips will depend on performance, cleanliness, and how well you can catch a frisbee.

    Sounds like this is going to require a non-compete agreement or something... Does this mean bilateral employment is a no? 😬

    Wait... Without hands? 🙊

    I will expect you to be on call 24/7. Don’t worry your pretty head about the contract specifics. I’ll put something together and you just sign it. 😏

    I’m very trustworthy and nice.

    Oh and you're so very reassuring as well 😂...

    How long are the shifts?
    Do the hours include shower and change time?

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    Shifts? 😂 Aren’t you cute. The naive ones make the best vict..err I mean employees! 😃

    Showers are mandatory and will be filmed.

    Well... Sounds like nothing new for me 🤷🏽‍♂️...

    Do I get full medical?
    How do you handle "on the job injuries"?
    Can I keep my doctor?

    I have multiple over the counter medications and bandaids in various sizes.

    Please, stop worrying so much. It will all be okay. 🙂

    Good enough, your contract has been accepted...

    Stand by for creepy messages and trial by fire... 🔥

    I will be patiently waiting.

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