Wrong answers ONLY!

frankwbrown

A great use of free time is sleep. If you wake up early, take that opportunity to grab a little sleep. One can never get enough sleep, except of course for the Big Sleep. Avoid that, even if it means staying awake.

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

cmsienk

frankwbrown wrote: »

A great use of free time is sleep. If you wake up early, take that opportunity to grab a little sleep. One can never get enough sleep, except of course for the Big Sleep. Avoid that, even if it means staying awake.

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

Were you getting a little extra sleep?You got caught by lag... 😉

frankwbrown

cmsienk wrote: »

This is a good opportunity to organize your neighbor's refrigerator and pantry. And after that, their sock drawer. Don't worry if they're still sleeping; you've got this extra time - don't waste it. Just crawl in through a window; I'm sure you'll find an open one - after all, it is January.

I haven't worked since mid-December and my next job isn't until January 20th. I've already organized my fridge, pantry and sock drawer (and several of my neighbors'). Maybe I need a second job. Got any ideas for something with flexible hours and days?

Might I suggest applying yourself toward coming up with a Unified Field Theory? Since Einstein spent decades trying unsuccessfully to combine his general theory of relativity with quantum mechanics, wouldn't that be time well spent? Physicists the world over will be jealous/envious but ultimately appreciative if when you succeed. I suppose it needn't be specifically a unified field theory, just so long as it's an elegant and convincing Theory Of Everything.

(Wouldn't a great use of free time be to spend it correcting all the mistakes one makes due to lag?)

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

cmsienk

Will I get paid for my time spent researching The Theory of Everything?

You've got how exercise works all backwards... if a little exercise makes you feel good, ] no exercise makes you feel great. Look how happy and energetic sloths are. And the more your muscles atrophy from doing nothing, the better you'll feel.

Have you ever had to change a flat tire? What's the best method for doing it quickly?

frankwbrown

cmsienk wrote: »

Will I get paid for my time spent researching The Theory of Everything?

Isn't the satisfaction of contributing so substantially to the collective knowledge of mankind payment enough? 😂

cmsienk wrote: »

You've got how exercise works all backwards... if a little exercise makes you feel good, ] no exercise makes you feel great. Look how happy and energetic sloths are. And the more your muscles atrophy from doing nothing, the better you'll feel.

I see. That makes so much sense. I guess you can't have sore muscles if you have no muscles.

cmsienk wrote: »

Have you ever had to change a flat tire? What's the best method for doing it quickly?

Just do as I do. I've never changed a flat tire, though I've had many flats. How is that possible, you ask? Simple: when you get a flat, don't change the flat, change the car! Exchange your car with an identical one that does not have a flat. The other car owner will not notice the difference, and will change the flat. Afterwards, if you're particularly attached to your own car, you can switch them back, with the other car owner no much the wiser.

So I understand now that exercising is to be avoided, but hypothetically speaking, would it be okay to eat an entire chocolate cake (let's say, something similar to a Pepperidge Farm cake or one of the cakes below) before doing a light workout at the gym?

nossmf

You can hypothetically eat anything before a hypothetical workout and be fine. If you're talking about an actual workout, you need to match up the food with the workout. Birthday cakes with lots of candles providing light are fine for light workouts, such as swimming where your body feels light as a feather; angel food cakes work especially well for this. Heavy workouts, say picking up iron weights, require heavy foods, such as devil's food cake. Don't mix the two up, or else bad things can happen.

My car has been in the repair shop for over two weeks, and they say they can't even begin yet due to "waiting for parts." Is there anything I can do to speed up the return of my car?

cmsienk

I suggest calling them everyday to check on the status of the parts. Get your friends to call in too. In fact, the more calls you make, the faster the parts will come in, so why don't you set them up on speed dial?.

My neighbor keeps wanting to get together, but we have nothing in common. Can you recommend a good excuse that won't offend her?

nossmf

Why don't you try telling her to her face that you died? With the right makeup, she'll believe you. If you play your cards right, she may even agree to pay you a monthly stipend to not haunt her house.

As the family chef, I try to keep variety in my meal planning by not preparing the same meal more than twice per month (I keep a log and wait at least two weeks before adding the meal to the week's menu again). My kids would prefer the same three meals fixed repeatedly. How can I get them to enjoy the variety of meals I prepare?

s1im62

Burritos are your solution. Since they look the same outside your kids will get the sense that you are preparing the same meal three times a day, but you can stuff them with all kinds of different things.

For instance breakfast can be a burrito stuffed with bacon, eggs, potatoes, and cheese, lunch can be a burrito stuffed with macaroni and cheese, and ham, and dinner can be a burrito stuffed with fried chicken, corn, green beans, and mashed potatoes.

Really anything can be in a burrito, even the desserts! If nothing else, your kids will likely come to the conclusion that they don't really want the same thing for every meal after all.

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My garage is too messy. How can I get it cleaned up and organized without much effort?

nossmf

A gallon of gasoline and a single match will reduce any chaotic mess into a uniform pile of ash in no time. You can even spend most of the time sitting in a chaise lounge chair observing and planning what you're gonna do with all the space uncovered.

My son is one step away from earning his Eagle Scout award, but has lost interest in finishing. As an Eagle Scout myself, I want him to reach the same level, but want it to be his decision, not mine. What should I do?

cmsienk

(This is not the best wrong answer because if this a true scenario, I really hope he'll change his mind.)

When talking to him, you should apply the same reverse psychology that you recommended using for exercise motivation.

For example: it's good that he's lost interest in becoming an Eagle Scout. Why be lumped in with the 2% of the scouts who earn this distinction? Be average, not extraordinary! Also, he should know to include in his future resume, 'Not an Eagle Scout.' I've heard anecdotally that hiring managers - all other qualifications being equal - give extra weight to those resumes that include this kind of level of distinction. He should definitely prefer his resume go to the bottom of the stack, not the top, right?

My new furnace baffles aren't working correctly. 😑 I have a guy coming back to check in things this afternoon. What's the best way to let him know I'm not happy with the new system?

nossmf

(True scenario, @cmsienk.)

I recommend presenting the guy with an itemized list of charges he now owes. In some order, be sure to include false advertising, pain and suffering, mental anguish, and a dictionary with pictures so you can understand what on Earth baffles actually are.

Growing up, all my cousins were simply "Cousin Adam" or "Cousin Jennifer", all of whom lived a thousand miles away. But my wife was raised with several generations of family all living close together, and reunions are always confusing times for me. Could somebody please explain to me what a second cousin twice removed means? (For the record, also a true scenario...)

frankwbrown

We all have cousins -- first cousins, second cousins, even third cousins -- who come to visit and refuse to leave. It basically gets to the point where you have to forcibly remove them from your house!
A second cousin twice removed is one that you had to remove twice because, just like the cat that came back, they came back. I've found that, in most cases, thrice removed is the max that is necessary for them to get the message.

How long do you drain a hot water tank in order to get all of the sediment out of it, or at least enough, so that the heat sensor starts working again? (true scenario)

nossmf

How long depends on the size of the hole. If you use a small drill, it'll take hours to drain completely. But if you use a small amount of C4, you can speed up the process to as little as a few seconds!

My wife's cat is looking at over $4 thousand in dental work in a couple weeks. Any suggestions on ways to reduce the bill? (true)

cmsienk

Sign up for and take this comprehensive Feline Dentistry online course for only $495. That's way cheaper than $4,000 and I see a bonus side hustle in your future; do any of your neighbors have cats that need dental work?

You thought I was kidding,
didn't you?

My good friend has developed a bad habit of sighing constantly and he's asked me to help him stop. I suggested wearing a rubber band on his wrist and snapping it whenever he catches himself sighing, but he's not going for that. Any other ideas?

Cat0703a

Taser? Squirting him in the face with a water gun? Charging him $100 each time?

My dad is having a milestone birthday at the end of the month. What should I do for him?

s1im62

Something that serves as a reminder of aging is best so he can enjoy the thoughts of getting older and look forward to the next milestone birthday! Maybe a giant poster of a shiny new hip or knee joint so he can anticipate having replacement surgery to get one of those babys installed. Alternatively, a cane or walker always is a nice gift, and is essentially the equivalent of a new sports car for us older guys!

I have a bunch of glass panes from old windows I've replaced. Nobody seems to recycle plate glass, so my options are to find a way to re-use them somehow, or send them to the dump. Any ideas?

cmsienk

Since nobody is recycling plate glass anymore, this seems like a great business opportunity for you. Start your own plate glass recycling business. You recently cleaned out your garage, didn't you? Set up shop there and get the word out. Soon you'll have a steady stream of cars bringing plate glass to you. When you run out of space in your garage, set up rusty bins in your backyard for the overflow. Your neighbors will love the extra traffic and curb appeal.

What's the best way to get a grease stain off a tablecloth?

frankwbrown

Grease stains are notoriously difficult to get out, so the solution is not to try. Instead, apply grease to the entire tablecloth so that there are no grease spots to stand out. Your visitors will be impressed with the difficult to describe off-white color of the tablecloth, and will ask you where you got it. Just tell them it was a gift from someone they'd be even further impressed with, and watch their envious surprise.

I have some old computers I need to recycle this morning. Can anyone tell me where I can find Wall-E? I think my computers would be happy with him.

Cat0703a

I heard that Wall-E ran with a roomba named Rhona and they are now living off the grid. Looks like you might be stuck with those computers. 🤷‍♀️

Since I’ve already napped, worked, and had my first coffee today, what should I do with the rest of my day off?