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  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
    edited January 2022
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    - Be fully caffeinated before making any major decision
    - When in doubt, take a nap
    - Avoid pickles
    There must be more, but I'm going to have a cup of coffee and take a nap first...

    Would anyone else like to chime in with some of their personal core values to help Cat out with her school assignment?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,440 Member
    edited January 2022
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    @Cat0703a , I second @cmsienk's core values, and I will elaborate and add to them:
    • Be fully caffeinated before making any major decision. Be at least half-caffeinated before making any minor decision.
    • When in doubt, take a nap; if that doesn't help, take a couple more.
    • Avoid pickles like the plague.
    • Generosity core value: Always make a disingenuous offer to others, before eating all the ice cream.
    • Sharing core value: Never be too hasty in doing something that needs to be done; give others the chance to do it first.
    • Work ethic core value: Best expressed as "I love work. I can sit and watch it for hours."
    • Time management core value: Never do anything before it absolutely has to get done (see also Sharing above).

    What other core values are there to consider, I wonder?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,718 Member
    edited January 2022
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    • Generosity addendum: be generous with the ice cream flavors you don't like. Speak loudly of your generosity to be sure it's noted.
    • Sharing credit: I cannot accept all the credit for the team's success. Me and myself were equal contributors.
    • Accepting blame: when something goes wrong, make sure the guilty party is identified and accepts the blame so the team can move on without the loser
    • Fiscal core value: save money whenever possible by eating cheap, highly-processed fast food burgers and pizza rather than expensive sit-down restaurant offerings.
    • Parental core value: equally share the responsibility of raising your children with your significant other. You are in charge of showing the angels how to celebrate life, he/she is in charge of teaching the imps responsibility.

    How do you know when it's time to accept defeat in an argument?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
    edited January 2022
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    It depends with whom you're arguing:

    A. If it's your spouse, never accept defeat. This is not a partnership, two-way street relationship, blah, blah, blah. Dig your heels in until your opponent spouse gives in. But be civil; you have to sleep next to this person.

    B. If it's your boss (manager, supervisor, client), see A. above. They are not the boss of you. Also, people with titles like 'manager' are thrilled when you repeatedly let them know how wrong they are. Colorful language is acceptable in this case.

    C. If it's the IRS (tax authority), don't bother arguing with them. You're in the right and you know it. Ignore their letters and phone calls; don't engage. They'll realize by your non-response that they must be in the wrong.

    D. If it's any company's Customer Service department and you're arguing about bad service, a payment, something broken or not delivered - give in immediately. There is no good service, you probably owe double, it'll never be fixed or replaced and your spouse accepted the delivery. You know she did - you should start an argument about it.

    I still haven't donated those books. My excuse was the cold weather last week. For some reason I'm having trouble parting with them. How do I stop procrastinating?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,440 Member
    edited January 2022
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    It's easy to stop procrastinating, but don't be in too much of a hurry to do so. I would recommend formulating a plan first. But don't do that today, do it tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever. There's no rush; time is just a concept.

    Is there a quick and easy way to get caught up on all the chores I've been avoiding while I've been exercising my tail off?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,718 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Do you have any phobias? Combine your phobia with those books, and you'll have no trouble letting them go in no time. For example, if you have arachnophobia (fear of spiders), put the box of books in an area infested with lots of webs overnight. If you have acrophobia (fear of heights) then place a tall ladder against the side of your house and climb as high as you can while both hands are holding the box of books. I guarantee you, in both cases, your interest in holding onto the box of books won't last long!

    Grumble...simultaneous posting...grumble...

    The fastest way to get caught up on chores which are your responsibility is to make them no longer your responsibility. Suggest to your spouse/roommate that, in the interest of keeping chores fresh and interesting, effective immediately you swap chores for the next week. As soon as they catch up on your their chores, demand to swap back to the ones you know how to do.

    My kids don't believe my stories about growing up without the internet. How can I make them understand what it was like?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,554 Member
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    Send them to a remote location without access to wifi or data, with a set of encyclopedias, a Walkman, and a rotary phone. I think they’ll learn to appreciate how lucky they are (recognize your pain) pretty quick. I recommend that you leave them there a couple of weeks at a minimum to ensure it’s a memory that lasts a lifetime.

    I finally came home so I could eat but still need to work for a few hours more. What should I pack for my desk so I don’t run into this hangry situation again?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,554 Member
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    (P.S. this thread has been an awesome distraction that has provided many a laugh recently so thank you to all the posters here for keeping the wrong answers so weirdly delightful!!)
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
    edited January 2022
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    I have a melty ice cream cake you could pack in your desk. I also have it on good authority that you're a fan of pickles. You could add to your desk snack stash every pickle I have ever turned down. That's at least 4,000 pickles of multiple varieties. I also just finished making a double batch of bird's nest soup. You made it sound so appetizing (who doesn't love soup made from the dried spit of the Swiftlet) that I made extra and would love to share with you. No more hangry situations.

    ETA: No need for containers for any of that. Just throw it all loose in your desk. The flavors will be great all mixed together and just think how that will add to the usefulness of your office supplies!

    How many friends should one have?
  • JolieSvelte
    JolieSvelte Posts: 21 Member
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    As many as you need to feel validated as a human being. This is usually reflected in the amount of friends you have on Facebook. Someone with the maximum 5,000 friends feels fully validated and worthy of being alive. Someone who is only friends with the maybe 25 people they actually know in real life will likely feel incredibly worthless. Acquiring friends should be at the top of the list of priorities so that one will always know that they are a loveable human being. Otherwise, it may be difficult to see the point in anything.

    What should I do to acquire quality friendships?
  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 30,213 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Talk to everyone you can about the important things in life like exploring pickle varieties, watching Netflix, and obsessing over your fantasy league NBA team. Only the truly quality friends will not disappear when you're in the vicinity, and those are the keepers. The only downside is that they will tend to talk about their own interests occasionally, which can be quite boring.

    I was working in my attic today and it's hard to work efficiently because it's very cramped up there. How can I fix that?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Have you ever heard of an open air attic? Acquire something that could blow a large hole in your attic. Don't ask me what or where to get it - that's not the question I'm answering here. I suggest searching the internet for how much is necessary to blow off a roof - and then doubling that just to make sure.
    Using your acquired contraband, take care of that pesky roof and voila! No more cramped space. You can now stand up in your attic to get your work done efficiently. Bonus - no more stuffy attic air - you'll have lots of fresh air up there now.

    I'm looking for a handyman to get some work done around my house. Where's the best place to find someone reputable?

  • JolieSvelte
    JolieSvelte Posts: 21 Member
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    Go to Craigslist first, and pay $10 to post an ad in their "gigs" section. If you are offering at least $15 per hour your email inbox will be inundated with jobless, carless, and likely homeless people who might have experience hammering nails or unclogging drains, but will certainly have experience combating any pest problem you might have such as rats and cockroaches. If they have no experience they will do anything you ask them for a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of Jim Beam.

    How can I get an extremely well-built and gorgeous man to date me? Note: I am overweight.
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,718 Member
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    Move to Samoan islands
    Place a Craigslist ad

    The easiest way is to go to any standard bar 30 minutes before closing and, using a megaphone, declare you will "date" the strongest man in the room. Then step back and watch the desperately lonely drunkards contest amongst themselves for your hand, and observe who's left standing after the ruckus dies down. Whether you deem this person gorgeous or not will depend on how long the row takes, thus how many drinks you've had a chance to down yourself while waiting.

    I just put in a 14 hour day at the office, and am leaving for home at 11pm (true story). How late do you think I can get away with arriving to work tomorrow?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,554 Member
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    Gosh, here I was thinking my day was long yesterday!! While I honestly feel for you, @nossmf I’m wondering why you aren’t up at 3:32am considering if you should tackle work now (true story here). You are entirely wrong thinking you should get to go in late tomorrow.

    How many hours should nosmmf and I each work today?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,440 Member
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    I don't know how many hours exactly you should work today, but it definitely shouldn't be over 24 hours. I would pledge to swim, in solidarity with you, an equal number of hours, but only if you limit your workday to no more than an hour and a half. One hour would be better. Fifteen minutes wouldn't be enough.

    I have a doctor's appointment this morning. What is he going to tell me?
  • JolieSvelte
    JolieSvelte Posts: 21 Member
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    You need a colonoscopy immediately. Colonic hydrotherapy beforehand is recommended. Please do not eat fibrous foods or consume any laxatives 24 hours before your appointment, but make sure to have a bowel movement the morning of. Instead of being anxious, try to enjoy the experience.

    What should I do as a side hustle? Note: I have sales experience.
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
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    I suggest starting a TMI website, encouraging people everywhere to divulge way too much personal information about themselves. Popular topics could include their dating and hygiene habits, information from their medical appointments, where they hide the spare key to their home and of course, all their passwords. You should be able to charge quite a premium for this as most people are clamoring to share personal details about themselves and their private lives.

    How do you deal with an over-sharer?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,718 Member
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    Hire a computer hacker to crash their TMI website.

    Seems every website wants a password these days, from the bank to the grocery store. How can I remember all these passwords?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,312 Member
    edited January 2022
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    First - change all your current passwords to the same password and use it for everything. I'm surprised you don't already do this. Of course, you'll want to make it easy to remember, so I suggest your first name and the numbers 1-2-3-4. In case your memory is really bad, write your password down and post it everywhere you might use it - on your work and home computers, the TV, your phone case, steering wheel and back door come to mind. Use brightly colored sticky notes or better yet, a business card.

    You'll also want to post your password in public places where you might use your phone or laptop. For instance, every grocery store bulletin board within 100 miles of your home, the waiting room at the auto service center, the post office... anywhere you go at least once a year. You can also choose to post it electronically. You know, on Facebook, Twitter, Craigslist... And don't forget to tell your kids and have them post it electronically.

    May I also suggest changing your user name to your password on every site you visit. So, assuming Mork is your first name, for MFP, that would be changing both your user name and password from nossmf to Mork1234. This also solves the dilemma of needing eight characters, one capital letter, one number, etc. (If you need a special character, use the period at the end.) 😉 Problem solved.

    I know people who are allergic to cats, which is pretty common. Do you know of any uncommon allergies?