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Wrong answers ONLY!

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Replies

  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    edited March 2022
    I suggest a little lawn tennis, croquet, badminton, and some miniature golf (as all the best resorts have it these days), followed by a Hawaiian luau and hula dancing. This will prepare you for an evening of spa treatments: sauna, full-body mud mask, herbal body wrap, Burmese foot massage, Ashiatsu Japanese massage (where they walk on you), Ayurvedic massage, Turkish bath massage, and acupressure.

    Where can I go to have the above done? (I'm referring to the evening part, as I think I might need it after walking 50,000+ steps this afternoon)
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    What kind of wrong answer is that? (Especially the spa treatments.) 😍

    If you're looking for serious spa treatments, look no further than your nearest auto mechanic. I hear the one down the street from you has fallen on hard times and decided to branch out and offer various massages - mostly to walk-in clientele. They have a large stock of 5w30 motor oil, which is great, as this is the new, preferred oil to use for body and foot massages.

    One of my coworkers just texted and invited me to go for drinks with the group. (Badminton will have to wait.) What's a safe topic of discussion in a group with varied religious backgrounds and political leanings?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    When starting a conversation in a group setting, you should aim for a topic which is most likely to get the largest number of people involved. Not everybody is religious (heathens), nor cares about politics (yawn) or sports (inconceivable!). So I suggest going with the good old standby...COVID. Everybody has heard about it by now, with many people having a personal anecdote to relate to the group. Personalized stories are always a hit.

    I am feeling vastly better now than even this time yesterday. When will I know I'm ready to go back to work and my usual activities?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    edited March 2022
    I will have to give Bubba--the auto mechanic down the road--a call, and ask him if his pneumatic impact tools can be used for body massages.

    I missed your question yesterday. I hope you were able to come up with a safe topic. Perhaps you even ad the same idea as me. The best topic would be one that you'll get consensus no matter the religious or political leanings of the crowd. So, an ideal topic would be something like: "Why did the U.S. Government fake the moon landing, and wasn't it obviously fake because they showed "shots" of the earth where it appeared to be round and not flat?"

    When's the right time to switch brands of [whatever food you really love]? And what brand(s) should you switch to?
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Soooooo...if I really love a food, why would I want to switch brands? πŸ€”πŸ’¬



    Y'all make me giggle with your imaginative, long answers which I love reading ☺️
    Am I considered lazy with my short responses on here? πŸ˜¬πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜‹
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    edited March 2022
    Abbreviated responses to online interrogations are not considered inherently lazy: they prove you are able to prioritize your thoughts into a logical train of thought which has analyzed all possible answers to a substantial degree of sufficient depth and abstract width to allow incorporation of a variety of potential permutations to influence your perspective away from the patently absurd, ridiculous, and whimsical and indubitably arrive consequently only at a fundamental universal conclusion which is colloquially referred to as "the truth."

    *pause while @cat0703a receives multiple papercuts flipping through her thesaurus trying to figure out what I actually said*

    Is there an acceptable methodology ok way to demonstrate advanced intellectual mastery of a language speak smart sans employing multisyllabic linguistic preferences with no big words?

  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    edited March 2022
    No. (I analyzed all possible answers and prioritized my logical thoughts.) πŸ˜‰
    Also, we appeared to have skipped your last question...
    nossmf wrote: Β»
    I am feeling vastly better now than even this time yesterday. When will I know I'm ready to go back to work and my usual activities?
    Your dog will let you know when you're ready to resume your usual activities. Look for him to bring you his dog dish, leash and anything you can throw for him to fetch. Don't do anything until he's let you know your recuperation period is over.

    I'm not looking forward to today's long travel day. Any suggestions for occupying my time other than reading or watching movies?
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    edited March 2022
    Might it might be a much safer trip if rather than reading or watching a movie, that you kept both eyes on the road while driving? Just saying πŸ€·πŸ˜‹

    I absolutely hate road trips and would rather fly and get it over with. How might I handle the move across country? as I will have to drive a truck towing a trailer.
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    edited March 2022
    Drive your truck and trailer to the nearest military airbase and ask to hitch a ride on one of their transport planes. They'll be happy to give you a lift.

    @FabulousFantasticFifty hasn't been keeping up with the thread and I obviously wasn't specific enough in my last question.. I'm flying home from Palm Springs today. What else can I do on the plane to make the trip go by faster?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Give the pilots energy drinks and a cash bonus for arriving hours early? Not the answer you were looking for?

    Any more suggestions for @cmsienk?

    (I apologize for my brevity but these paper cuts are making me bleed all over my phone)
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    edited March 2022
    Soooooo...if I really love a food, why would I want to switch brands? πŸ€”πŸ’¬
    Didn't anyone notice that @FabulousFantasticFifty's wrong answer seems like a wrong wrong answer in that it seems more right than wrong?
    nossmf wrote: Β»
    Is there an acceptable methodology ok way to demonstrate advanced intellectual mastery of a language speak smart sans employing multisyllabic linguistic preferences with no big words?
    While @cmsienk's answer was a right wrong answer, I must disagree. There is a way to speak smart with no big words. I know this because I worked with a fellow who made it known that he had a PhD and that he composed his emails with 9th grade English, since few people could comprehend his intellectual prowess. Everyone was dutifully impressed with his modest attitude, and I in particular thought he was as sharp as a doorknob tack.

    @cmsienk, you may not get this suggestion until after your flight, but here it is (perhaps you can use it on a future flight):

    Use the power of your mind to transport the plane instantly to your destination. Simply close your eyes and will it so, while taking a deep breath in and out, and then open your eyes. You may need to repeat this process several times (sometimes time-space plays difficult), but continue doing it and it will surely work.

    I have done nothing physically exerting all morning, and I feel just fine, only just a little nagging guilt which is easily ignored. I'd like to continue doing nothing the rest of the day, but I'm still trying to hit 10,000 steps/day for the next four days. How can I do both?

    (BTW, @cmsienk, my steps the other day did indeed exceed 50,000. On Wednesday, I hit 71,452 steps, either that or I'm dyslexic and in fact only did 17,245.)
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    edited March 2022
    😍 @frankwbrown, I am very impressed with your 71,452 steps. To get your steps for the next few days, you could continue to lie on your bed and bicycle your legs. If you don't feel like doing that, I suggest attaching your fit bit (or whatever step counter you use) to @nossmf's dog, and when they go out for a walk (as I'm sure Mork has recuperated enough for his dog to nudge him into activity) you'll all get some steps in.

    I can't find any energy drinks with which to brine bribe my pilots. Any good substitutions? I thought about marinating them in a brine solution (or that was a typo) but decided against it. πŸ˜‰
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    All pilots are subject to flattery. (Or at least all military pilots are, so logically all other pilots are the same, right?) Tell them upon entry to the plane that you will write a stellar Yelp review of their flight if they manage to shave off a couple hours. Females can also suggest that the extra time saved can be spent in other, wink wink, creative ways at the hotel later. (Males can also suggest the same, but are more likely to backfire. I suggest offering a couple cold ones instead at the local watering hole.)

    I made it to work this afternoon for the first time in almost a week, and it was kinda surreal. When I left we were still required to wear masks; sometime between then and now, the mandate was lifted, and I can actually see people's faces again. Many of the guys are sporting impressive mustache's, which makes my clean-shaven mug look conspicuous. Since we no longer have masks to make us all look the same, any suggestions on how I can once again fit in with the other guys?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    edited March 2022
    I suggest you Chia pet your face! Get some chia seeds tonight, spread the growing medium of your choice on your upper lip and chin: shaving cream, frosting, ooh - how about mashed avocado? Now layer on the seeds and go to bed. You'll have to sleep on your back as your wife will not be pleased if you soil the clean pillowcase with your mashed avocado/chia seed face. In the morning, you'll have sprouted a beautiful chia seed mustache (maybe a fu manchu) and/or beard combination. You should fit right in with the other guys at the office.

    My plane was delayed an hour in Palm Springs because they couldn't open the aft cargo door. (True story.) I wanted to run out there and offer suggestions like, "Don't worry, we can all just hold our luggage on our lap." That's silly though. Can you think of a helpful suggestion for getting a future airplane cargo door unstuck, allowing a flight to leave on time?


  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    Well, that's an easy one. Simply approach the cargo crew and tell them that you have a bomb that will quite easily open that cargo door, no problem. They will be extremely grateful, and offer you a special seat on the plane. (You'll need to make sure they have plenty of duct tape to cover the hole that your bomb puts in that cargo door; they might not think of that.)

    After water aerobics this morning, I took my brother and sister-in-law to lunch. The plan was to eat at this Indian restaurant, my treat, because my sister-in-law in particular loves Indian food. But when we got there, we found a sign saying "under new management", and even though the door was unlocked, upon entering we were told they were closed for the next couple weeks. Not to worry, we had noticed on a previous visit that there was another Indian restaurant just across the street that we'd never tried. So we went over there, only to find a sign on the door saying "No dine in", and we weren't looking for takeout. So two doors down was a Nashville Hot Chicken place, but my sister-in-law didn't like the looks of it. So finally we tried a Mexican restaurant a few miles away, and were pleasantly surprised. If you're still reading this, can you tell me how I could have avoided all the disappointment and gone straight to the new-to-us satisfying experience at Cucina Azteca?

    P.S. I have Girl Scout cookies to share with whoever gives me a good answer.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    So sometimes doesn't it just not feel right and wouldn't it be wrong to give a wrong answer to something that is so very wrong that you have to make it right?


    Now.... am I right or wrong?
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,260 Member
    Sometimes right is wrong. If you are driving and come to an intersection that says left turn only, turning right would be wrong.

    Do you get bored when stuck at traffic lights waiting for them to change?
    How can you make this time more entertaining?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    By NOT stopping at traffic lights. You'll be amazed how thrilling and heart-pounding it is to run red lights, dodging cars going the other way, all the horns, squealing of tires, the occasional crunch of metal. But that's just the intro...after doing this at a couple intersections, soon you'll have the thrill of participating in your very own cop car chase scene, straight out of Hollywood! This is even better if you actually are IN Hollywood at the time, because then everybody across the nation can thrill together to watch your 15 minutes of fame. Just watch out for spike strips...though undeniably thrilling, they do tend to shorten the 15 minutes to something more like 2 or 3...

    The above is an example of a driving lesson my eldest son would impart to his sisters when they come of driving age (unfortunately, only a partial exaggeration). How can I convince my daughters that they would be better off learning to drive from their old man rather than their big brother?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    For most things parenting related I find bribing works best. You can work with a point system where they get points for driving with you and lose points for driving with their brother. Points can be used towards new cell phones with all the latest tech, all the way to a new car. That should eliminate most of the embarrassment of learning from their aged father.

    @frankwbrown, I've been thinking about your question (especially considering the cookie bribe) and have decided you shouldn't have even found Cucina Azteca. The proper process for finding a restaurant is to look online for the restaurant you want to ensure they are open, then calling to confirm, then calling the neighbouring business to check that they have eyes on an open sign and after all of that, if they are deemed closed you are to go to yelp and check for restaurants in alphabetical order starting next at the first restaurant you have NEVER dined at. You would have eventually made it to the C's but it wasn't meant to be for at least 3 more years.

    I'm expecting a work call but I really need to use the facilities. Do I take a chance and run hoping I do not miss my call, answer the call and hope they don't figure out where I am, or...???
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    edited March 2022
    πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ I'm next... no one step on my response, please.

    I think I'm answering early enough to make this work. You can forward your calls to me while you run. I'm just working on a little side job at home and will be more than happy to field your calls for as long as you need me.

    I've currently got two packed suitcases in my living room. One for Indianapolis March 8-9 and one for Vegas/Phoenix March 9-17. I am way ahead of the game though, because my job for tomorrow just canceled. Should I spend my extra time banking sleep or is there something else you suggest I catch up on?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    edited March 2022
    Thank you for saving my pants. πŸ˜…

    You sound like you may be too busy to speak to us for the next few weeks so I suggest that tomorrow you set up a list of canned responses in various lengths (preferably 1-7 words in length, some questions, and random answers to yet unknown questions. That way you don't need to waste time typing when you have a few minutes while on the road...you can just check your list and select the one that makes the most amount of sense. It'll be harder to correct those that aren't following the rules but I suggest in that case, I step in since you were so kind in helping answer my call from IT a bit ago. Don't forget to charge a cancellation fee.

    What should @cmsienk do with her cancellation fee? Buy lattes or...??
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    Lattes it is! Please forward your orders and I'll get right on it. (@nossmf, I'll make your latte Pepsi flavored.)

    As if I'm not busy enough, I've got a guy coming this afternoon to look at my master bathroom so he can give me a quote on remodeling it. (Today was the only free day we both had. My canceled morning job was supposed to be over at noon.) Anyway, there are so many cool things to be added to make a bathroom feel spa-like, like heated towel bars. What kind of extras should I add to my plan?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    Pepsi-flavored latte...sounds about as appetizing as a chili-flavored popsicle...

    If you plan to make your master bathroom feel spa-like, why not go all the way? Your boring shower with one water spigot needs to be upgraded to have a minimum of five spigots spewing water at you from a variety of angles (I recommend all at the same temperature, but that's a personal preference). The commode should have foot rests for getting pedicures done at the same time, and the bathtub should have air jets to blow bubbles from all sides as you soak away the day. But why stop at just the master bathroom? Make the entire master room a spa! Swap out your closet for several vertical lockers to hold your stuff securely, each with a different combination to open. The large queen-sized bed will become a pair of single beds, each roughly 8 feet off the ground and requiring a ladder to climb into, with pillows replaced by squishy loops to hold your head in place. The overhead light will be replaced by a hanging chandelier of flickering candles, all at 1/4 illumination so you can't actually see anything further than 3 feet away. Oh, and that wall-mounted big screen TV you recently purchased? Yep, sorry, no longer appropriate for the new ambiance, you'll need to throw it to the curb.

    Last week while I was ill, I barely ate for several days in a row. Now that I'm able to eat unimpeded by a fever or sore throat, I have to decide if I want to just eat as if nothing happened, or catch-up-eat all the calories I missed. Or is there a third option I've missed? Any advice?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    edited March 2022
    The third option is to simply not eat, at all, but I don't recommend that. What you should do of course is catch-up-eat. And it needs to be calorie-rich foods. Your body is now probably absorbing only half the calories it normally does, due to getting "rusty" during your illness. If you don't eat a lot of rich foods right away, you will risk losing weight!

    I just had a fantastic 24 hours. Last night, my brother and I saw/heard Lunasa (an traditional Irish music group). This morning, I took a 5k walk in San Francisco that included climbing the Filbert Steps of Telegraph Hill (~400 steps?). Later at the Boudin Bakery Cafe, we had sourdough Belgian waffles with Nutella, banana, strawberries and whipped cream. Still later, I took a 10-minute swim in San Francisco Bay by the Maritime Museum (my first time). And later still, to avoid rush hour traffic on our trip home, we saw the movie the Batman (I give it a πŸ‘thumbs up). The only thing that would have made this day better is if I had completed 30 contiguous days of 10,000+ steps a day. That would have happened, if only I hadn't messed up on Saturday (which would have been day 28) by falling short due to an oversight. Is there any way for me to change that at this point, so that today would be day 30 instead of day 2? (these little victories mean a lot to me)
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  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    Dude, you're counting wrong. Don't you realize when you set a goal, anything above that goal is saved and applied towards the next day? For example, my goal is 10,000 steps. Monday I get 10,500, Tuesday I get 9,500. The 500 extra steps from Monday bleed over onto Tuesday, so poof! Both days have now reached the goal. I bet if you go back through your records, you'll see that you had enough extra steps over days 1-27 to more than carry day 28 up to your goal so you can keep the streak alive.

    I hear multiple people saying the new Batman movie is excellent, but I'm leery to watch it, as I think Christian Bale was the best Batman, and anybody else is gonna fall short. Anyway, DC movies tend to replace star actors every 2-3 movies, while Marvel hero actors stick around for movie after movie. Why do you think the difference exists?
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,260 Member
    I think DC company pump their star actors full of steroids so they can do the super hero stuff of lifting buildings and such.
    of course this takes a toll on their body so after 2 or 3 movies they must be replaced


    I'm not really into super hero movies. What do you suggest as an alternative?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,825 Member
    You seem more like a reader to me. Instead of watching super hero movies I suggest you try reading super hero comic books or graphic novels.

    I'm currently fighting a headache. My Excedrin is packed in my suitcase and I'm on the plane. Any recommendations (other than a nap, which I'm going to attempt here shortly) to relieve this ache behind my eyes?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,335 Member
    edited March 2022
    I suggest the Major Payne method of pain management. Your head hurts? Break a finger...poof! You no longer are bothered by your headache!

    There are dozens of super hero movies available which highlight dozens of heroes, but the comic books have featured hundreds over the years. Which super hero from the comic books, who has not yet made a movie appearance, do you think should be featured in the next movie?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Has Clayface been in a movie yet? Would we even know if has since he can change his looks? Now my real answer, if this wasn’t the wrong answer, would have been The Question, don’t you think? πŸ˜†

    I’m currently teaching my child to budget, cook, and do laundry so that he’s well equipped in those areas to move out when the time comes. What skill did you wish you knew before you were an adult out in the real world?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,957 Member
    Tying my shoes. I was constantly tripping over my own laces once I left home. I tried wearing just cowboy boots and loafers, but I couldn't due to my having such a high arch and wide foot (that part's true). Anyway, on a trip (no pun intended) back home, I asked my mother to show me how it's done. She taught me the bunny rabbit method ("Over, under, around and through, Meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull and through") and the more advanced "Loop it, swoop it, and pull".

    I see that Disney is making a new version of Pinocchio starring Tom Hanks. Who should they get (or did they get) to play Pinocchio?