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  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,090 Member
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    Time to revive some ancient tried and true methods of messaging.
    Smoke signals, Morse code, carrier pigeons, all spring to mind.

    Or, perhaps easier if you do not have time to learn new tricks - use the internet at your local library
    ( but thats not really a wrong answer, have done that in reality when my home internet was down)

    Libraries have diversified from just books.
    What else should they stock for borrowers?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
    edited March 2022
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    Clothes in various sizes for vacationers like our friend, @Cat0703a! Now instead of wearing her bathing suit everywhere under a different coat, she could go to the local library where she's staying and check out an outfit for hiking or a fancy dress.


    I was supposed to be off for the next couple of weeks, but tonight I booked myself on a one day job in Chicago - tomorrow afternoon. It's a 4 1/2 hour drive each way and I let my Sirius XM subscription lapse. Can somebody suggest a couple of good podcasts for me to occupy my time while driving?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,460 Member
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    Well, there's several ways you could go here. Something light-hearted can keep you awake and entertained, but I wouldn't recommend episodes of the PBS broadcasts "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" or "Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers". Neither one delves into any interesting topics like Brownian motion, chaos theory, Bridge game strategies, or how to improve your bowling game. Libraries often have books-on-CD that you can check out, like a Lee Childs' Jack Reacher novel, but why would you want to listen to something that has probably been listened to numerous times already? If you have an unlimited data plan, you could use Spotify (a free trial maybe) for all kinds of music and podcasts. But again, you would likely have no way of knowing how many other people are streaming the same content that you are, which seems like a privacy issue to me. If none of that works, pick up a hitchhiker and tell them the ride is free but that they must read to you from a book of your choice.

    I haven't done my income taxes yet, nor have I paid my property taxes. I put both on the back burner while I've been busy with matters of personal fitness and health. Isn't there some way I can just skip them both this year?

  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,829 Member
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    Skip filing them? Sure, happens a ton, lots of people do not file properly. But if you skip paying, it is actually more a postponement, and the IRS will hunt you down one day. Unless you hire one of those companies which advertise being able to negotiate with the IRS to eliminate taxes owed for their clients. Why not preemptively hire one now, before the IRS is even aware there's a problem? If they can change $100k owed into only $10k, imagine what they can do if you, at present, don't have any back payments due? They may even arrange for the IRS to pay YOU instead.

    My wife is going through menopause, which is wreaking havoc on her internal body temperature...one second she'll be bundled up three layers deep, the next she's stripping to her birthday suit and sweating up a storm. What can I do to help her remain comfortable?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
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    Have you already made arrangements with the prom entertaining hypnotist? For an additional fee, along with suggesting to the audience (including your wife) that they've all been on a European vacation, you could easily get him to plant the idea that no matter what temperature it is, everyone is comfortable. If it is too late for that, I've heard that swapping out carpet for hardwood flooring makes menopause more bearable. 😁

    I'm getting ready for my one-day road trip to Chicago. They offered me a hotel room to stay the night, but I have a dentist appointment at 11:30 tomorrow. If I cancel, I'll have to wait another 3 months to get in to see him. Why is my dentist so booked up?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
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    Have you already made arrangements with the prom entertaining hypnotist? For an additional fee, along with suggesting to the audience (including your wife) that they've all been on a European vacation, you could easily get him to plant the idea that no matter what temperature it is, everyone is comfortable. If it is too late for that, I've heard that swapping out carpet for hardwood flooring makes menopause more bearable. 😁

    I'm getting ready for my one-day road trip to Chicago. They offered me a hotel room to stay the night, but I have a dentist appointment at 11:30 tomorrow. If I cancel, I'll have to wait another 3 months to get in to see him. Why is my dentist so booked up?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
    edited March 2022
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    @frankwbrown.), ^^^ how does that happen? I only posted once.
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,460 Member
    edited March 2022
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    The system senses that you really want to know and are eager for an answer, so it doubles your post for emphasis.
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,460 Member
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    Why not ask your dentist to travel to Chicago and see you there tomorrow? I'm sure there's plenty of dentists in Chicago who would happily share their facility with your dentist. You might even carpool and address the other problem you mentioned. Is your dentist a good singer?

    What should I do with the money the IRS will soon be sending me?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
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    How do you feel about new hardwood floors? I hear that's an outstanding way to spend additional cash, whether it's a tax refund or a work bonus. 😉

    I wasn't able to get my dentist to carpool with me to Chicago (but the thought of him doing that and singing along the way made me laugh). I'm finishing up a pretty good book. It's a departure from what I normally read, but I'm enjoying the character development and storyline. Have you ever dragged your feet when coming to the end of a good book because you didn't want it to end? Any
    suggestions for dragging it out?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,829 Member
    edited March 2022
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    I don't tend to read with my feet, so I've never dragged them while reading. Maybe if you were reading a book in braille you could teach your toes to read, which likely would slow you down. My other suggestion is reading way past your bed time. More than once I have been reading during a graveyard shift at work, and realized I just read the same line three consecutive times at 3am. That takes three times as long to finish a book that way.

    My cats have become comfortable to having the dogs around, but remain terrified of the vacuum cleaner, which has been here since before they joined our family. Is there any way to help them adjust?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,460 Member
    edited March 2022
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    It is most likely that your cats are frightened by the sound of the vacuum, not it's appearance. The solution is, attach a bluetooth speaker to the vacuum and connect the speaker to your phone. Use your phone to record your dogs barking. While vacuuming, play that recording through the bluetooth speaker at a volume loud enough to drown out the vacuum's sound. The familiar sound of your dogs barking will set your cats' minds at ease.

    Who wouldn't like to prolong finishing a good book? Reading braille with one's feet would definitely help in that regard. A bonus would be that one could use cruise control on a road trip, and read a book as they drive. So who needs audio books anyway?
    Where might one learn to read braille with one's feet? (asking for a friend)

  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,829 Member
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    Got a pencil? Good, because the Fascial Orthopedic Octogenarian Transcendentalist (FOOT) Academy just posted an advertisement for the next class. All your friend has to do is convince the admissions officer, Professor Hallux, of his/her manual digital dexterity. Remember the pencil? Good, because you must write out an entire haiku using a writing instrument held between your toes (and a pencil allows you to erase any mistakes and start over, where a pen is permanent). If your toe-writing is legible (and your original haiku is enjoyed by Professor Hallux), you will be introduced to all the wonders the world of podiatry never mentioned: how to test the temperature of bath water by dipping your toe in; how to draw a line in the sand for bullies to cross; how to avoid putting your foot in your mouth during conversations; and, yes, how to read braille with your toes. Only a select few stick with the program long enough to achieve this level of nirvana; is your friend one of those?

    Looking at my wife napping on a lazy Monday afternoon, and her cats are napping alongside her. But where she is stretched out straight, the cats are contorted into twisted positions which look physically impossible to achieve, let alone uncurl injury-free when it's supper time. I haven't been able to touch my toes in years; how can I achieve the same level of flexibility as these cats?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
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    First of all, you've got it all wrong. Cats are the least flexible animals on the planet. Have you been walking somewhere in your house and come upon a cat in your way? Will he bend to your will and step aside? No he will not. He will give you a look of disdain that says, "This is my house and you can just walk around me". It's his way or the highway. So, if you want to be as flexible as a cat, practice saying "No." (If you want to be able to touch your toes, bring them closer to you. Try sitting cross-legged on the floor. Your toes should be easier to reach now. You're welcome. )

    I didn't eat very well (or very much) today. How can I make up for it tomorrow?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,829 Member
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    You are asking how to make up for eating? For a fancy dinner, my wife wears mascara, a little blush on her cheeks, some lipstick, and a hint of perfume. For the meals I prepare for my seething mass of teenage bottomless pits, she just rolls up her sleeves and dives in before all the food disappears down one hungry throat or another.

    Two of my coworkers had deaths in their families, and their shifts have been divvied up amongst the rest of us. (Unfortunately true story.) This means about twice per week I am not home to prepare food for the bottomless pits. The extent of my wife's cooking is pouring milk in a bowl of cereal. What can I do to feed my kids properly if I'm not home to do it?
  • np33441
    np33441 Posts: 31 Member
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    A machine that you place dishes in that gets them dirty- my dishwasher doesn't have enough to do right now.

    Why don't big cats purr?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
    edited March 2022
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    nossmf wrote: »
    You are asking how to make up for eating? For a fancy dinner, my wife wears mascara, a little blush on her cheeks, some lipstick, and a hint of perfume. For the meals I prepare for my seething mass of teenage bottomless pits, she just rolls up her sleeves and dives in before all the food disappears down one hungry throat or another.

    Two of my coworkers had deaths in their families, and their shifts have been divvied up amongst the rest of us. (Unfortunately true story.) This means about twice per week I am not home to prepare food for the bottomless pits. The extent of my wife's cooking is pouring milk in a bowl of cereal. What can I do to feed my kids properly if I'm not home to do it?

    I feel like you got short-changed by not getting a wrong answer that made sense.

    I would suggest Door Dash, microwaving leftovers or fast food - but you've probably already thought of those and dismissed them as not good enough for your kids. And they aren't wrong enough answers for this thread. Please send your bottomless pit children to my house those two days this week and I'll feed them. Tomorrow I'm making a roast in the slow cooker, on Thursday I'm making salmon and one day this weekend I'm making a batch of chili. I'll make sure there's plenty for the driver if your wife brings them over.

    Now somebody please answer the question about why big cats don't purr.
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 9,829 Member
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    np33441 wrote: »
    Why don't big cats purr?

    Big cats in fact DO purr. Trick is, it's not audible from the outside like small cats. See, the voice box of a cat has two settings: roar and purr. But the speaker is cross-wired in reverse. For small cats, the switch is set to purr going out, roar going in. For big cats, the switch got reversed, so roar going out, purr going in. If you slip a microphone into a small cat's food dish, you'll be overwhelmed by the recorded roar reverberating inside the body. Similarly, a microphone slipped into a big cat's meal will hear soft purrs once swallowed. The current scientific community thought about why this happened was that sometime way back in antiquity, two cats existed in the world, one big and one small, and both could purr or roar as they wished, but when a cavewoman accidentally dropped a ball of yarn, the two cats both tried to swat at it in play. Unfortunately, the big cat missed the yarn and ended up swatting the small cat instead, knocking it across the room to where it ran into the cave wall, jarring the internal switch and forever silencing the roar. When the small cat protested in such a meager voice, the big cat laughed so long and loud it developed hiccups, which jarred its own voice box and turned off its ability to purr. Those two cats are the ancient ancestors of all cats alive today.

    Lunch today is leftover fried chicken and sweet potato casserole from two weeks ago. How long is too long for leftovers to remain in the fridge before being eaten?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,365 Member
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    Six weeks - if they can last that long, what with you have 4 young adults living at your house. After six weeks, your leftovers become a science experiment.

    I just accepted a job that will keep me out of town in Seattle over the Easter weekend. I actually tried to convince my client it would be more economical to hire someone local, but they'd rather have me there. I'm hoping for an efficiency hotel and a rental car for this upcoming 10 day trip. What other perks should I ask for?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,562 Member
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    Besides a gourmet pickle buffet daily? Endless lattes made by a barista flown in from Italy especially for you, the Easter Bunny to deliver premium chocolates to your room all weekend long, and a 36 minute flight north to visit your MFP bestie.

    I’ve never seen the Northern Lights and they are on my bucket list to see one day. What’s on your bucket list?

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