Wrong answers ONLY!

FabulousFantasticFifty

It will last through Gramps telling his stories of his time in Prison with Martha Stewart, cousin Jenny's Story of finding true Love on her trip to Jupiter and the fierce, scratch your eyes out brawl between Mother Alice and Aunt Karen..... In other words.... Waaaay to friggin long!!! 😫

😜



What is Santa bringing you this year?

cmsienk

Santa is bringing me everything I've asked for...
my two front teeth,
a hippopotamus,
a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB Gun,
a Turbo Man electronic action figure, candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

What is your favorite wintertime activity?

Cat0703a

Naked snow angels. Too bad we mostly get rain here. 😒

I’m waiting on an important email from my workplace today and it’s not coming quick enough for me. What should I do?

cmsienk

You should dash into your oral surgeon's office for an impromptu root canal. By the time you're done, you'll no longer care about the tardy email.

I have a client Christmas party tonight. I always struggle with what to wear. Any suggestions?

nossmf

You want to show your client how you can think outside the box, so I suggest showing up while wearing a box. Suspenders to hold it up, leg holes, wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper matching your client's high school colors (you have done your research on your client, right?). Bonus points if you use shoe-boxes for shoes. Your client will be amazed.

What's your favorite holiday movie?

frankwbrown

We are talking Christmas holiday, right? In that case:

The Blog - A wintery tale about an amorphous creature from outer space who comes to Earth to eat win the hearts and minds of Earthlings. (A good treat while watching this movie is Jello or pudding.)

What is another perfect snack to consume while watching a scary movie?

nossmf

When I'm watching my wife's favorite scary movie with her, the only snack I need is a 24-oz bottle of something 90-proof. Her preferred snack is a box of Valentine's Day chocolates, but to each their own.

If you could change one physical feature of yours, what would you change?

sandejones

Being Dr Spocks daughter, it goes without saying, my ears. They are often mistaken for elf ears which can be annoying when people make jokes at this time of year. Live long and prosper.

If you were paid 1 million dollars to get a tattoo, what would it be and where?

frankwbrown

I would get a life-size tattoo of a dust mite. It would be located at the very top of my latissimus dorsi, under my left arm. On the back of the dust mite would be a tattoo of the yin yang ☯ symbol (in traditional black and white).

How old were you when you discovered the back of your head?

cmsienk

Wait... there's a back to my head?!? How old am I right now? Who knew? Frank you've opened my eyes to all the things I can do now... wear hats and headbands, sleep on my back (I used to only be able to sleep on my side) and now I know where that extra set of eyes belongs.

This party is boring. How can I liven things up here?

Cat0703a

Ask extremely personal questions. My fave is to ask people about their “first time” especially when spouses are present.

What toppings should I have on my pizza tonight? (I need a break from Brussels sprouts)

frankwbrown

Okay, so no Brussels sprouts on your pizza then? Well, chocolate chips go good with just about everything. Or, if you're looking for something more savory, try Honey Nut Cheerios.

What else could Cat put on her pizza?

cmsienk

While I do like the idea of Honey Nut Cheerios on pizza, and I did consider peas for a minute, I'm thinking Sour Patch kids candy might be just what her pizza needs.

I'm watching Hawkeye (and enjoying it) right now. What superhero power do you wish you had?

frankwbrown

This being a wish, I assume that means it will come true through the power of Christmas.

Let's pretend that I spent some time contemplating what kind of super power would enable me to bring the world peace, love and understanding. So, a more practical power would be an at-will Midas Touch, if you will, involving food. So, for example, I could touch a Brussels sprout and turn it into a Lemon Meringue pie, or I could touch a single pea and turn it into a Tiramisu, or Trifle, or anything else someone might desire, or I could touch a mustard and pickle sandwich and turn it into... Wait, what am I thinking? Scratch all of the above...

My super power would be the ability to give other people super powers! Hopefully, someone I know would want the above power and would use that power for my benefit as well.

P.S. I forgot to mention that the foods resulting from the above would have a negligible amount of calories and optimum balance of macro- and micro-nutrients.

What's the best way to rinse chlorine out of your hair?

cmsienk

With more chlorine! Adding more of the same substance actually dilutes the power that it has.

How long can you hold your breath?

s1im62

I can't seem to hold mine at all. Whenever I grab it, it just slips right through my fingers.

What was your favorite class in high school?

Cat0703a

Most definitely drama. What shy awkward teen girl doesn’t appreciate being forced to speak on stage in front of the entire school?

What are your tricks to combat sleeplessness?

cmsienk

Oh let me take this one since I sleep like a baby most nights.

About 30 minutes before going to bed, have a soothing cup of espresso. You could also place several search lights in your bedroom - one at each corner of the room should probably do it. Set them on the brightest setting. And don't forget the marching band music. I have a CD you could borrow - puts me right out. If those things don't work, try thinking about all the things you didn't get done during the day or focus on a problem you've been trying to solve. That should slow your mind down enough to get some good sleep.

My furnace recently broke. What's a good way to keep warm until it's replaced?

Cat0703a

Darn it, I’d forgotten the search lights. 🤦‍♀️

To keep warm, aside from 125 jumping jacks every half hour, you should put those 15 minute hand warmers all through your clothing. Make sure you buy them by the case at Costco; you’re gonna need a lot each day.

What should I do today on my last day of work before the holidays?

frankwbrown

@cmsienk, I'm late in posting this, but isn't Cat's suggestions good ones. I was thinking, to keep warm, you could try putting on every piece of clothing you have, to at least 50 layers deep. Then, periodically get up and dance like a whirling dervish. If that doesn't warm you up, it will at least make you too dizzy to feel the cold.

@Cat0703a, why not do everything you would need to do for the next month at least, or maybe even a year. Imagine how much fun you could have then, during your time off!

Should I start doing my Christmas shopping now, or can I wait a bit longer?

Cat0703a

You should just move Christmas to January 25th. Then you’ll have so much time to prepare.

Since I’m going to do all of next year’s work today, what should I spend my time doing next year instead?

nossmf

All work and no play isn't a very healthy way to go through life. If you're going to get a year's worth of work done tonight, then tomorrow you need to balance it by getting a year's worth of play done as well. That means you should invite every person you know over all at once to your party where you wear scary costumes with a turkey drumstick in one hand and a heart-shaped box of chocolate in the other, singing Jingle Bells at the top of your voice while fireworks light up the inside of your living room beside the keg of green beer.

If your job paid you with something other than money, what would it be?

frankwbrown

Isn't that an excellent idea! I'll notify the affected parties right away!

Here's some things you can do next year:

• Do not make any New Years resolutions! You don't need that!
• Burn 2,000 calories a day swimming, walking, running, hopping, skipping, doing yoga, Pilates, tai chi, zumba, playing tennis, racketball, picketball, badminton, beach volleyball, building sand castles, etc.
• Eat 3,000 calories a day of your favorite foods.
• See the seven wonders of the world (win a big lottery so you can take all your family and friends with you).
• Rent a remote cabin for half the summer in the Nordfjord of Norway, and write that book you've always been meaning to write.
• Learn five to ten musical instruments and compose your own symphony.
• Go to Wudang Mountain and become a tai chi master.
• Become a Master of Chess, or Go, or both.
• Read all the Great Books, for a start, then move on to more contemporary fiction/nonfiction.
• Trek through the Swiss Alps, from Hostel to Hostel, while singing songs from The Sound of Music.
• Spend each weekend at a Spa getting pampered and getting shiatzu massages.
• While doing all of this, think about what else you'd like to do.

What's the optimum amount of time to practice Zen meditation?

nossmf

I had to practice a little Zen before answering, since you didn't read my response before writing an entire novel, but one author honors another author, so I concede your answer to the previous poster as legit.

What's the optimum amount of time to practice Zen meditation?

After I start my day with Arbor meditation, then move on to Black meditation and from there to Cold meditation, it takes a while to work my way through the alphabet of forms. By the time I get to Zen, I have maybe 30 seconds left in my day.

If your job paid you with something other than money, what would it be? (Repeating my question, as my boss really wants an answer...)

cmsienk

Apparently lag is hitting everyone today...I had an answer to both of those but had to edit when I saw you came back first...

You could be paid in luxury items. Finish that group project? Here's your Rolex! Land a new client? That vacation home in Aspen you've always wanted is now yours. Keep up the good work - the sky's the limit!

How many friends do you have?

nossmf

Depends on the day of the week. On payday Friday, I'm best friends with everybody in town. By the next morning, only my mother likes me, and even that disappears after Sunday church service is over. But my true friends the creditors, they love me no matter what, as proven by how often they call just to hear my voice. They really are my true friends.

What makes the best pet?

cmsienk

I've heard it said that porcupines make the best pets. They're very social and loved to be hugged. You'll especially enjoy holding one on your lap and petting it - against the grain is best.

What's your favourite board game?

nossmf

I was inspired by Harry Potter to create my own version of wizard's chess, where you and 31 other people line up on a life-sized chess board, given weapons appropriate to your position. It's particularly fun watching a pawn trying to cut down a knight with a limp spaghetti noodle before getting beaned on the noggin by a sledge hammer.

If you could go back in time to visit yourself as a teenager and give one piece of advice, what would it be?

Cat0703a

Oh my word, you all totally rocked the ideas for my year/day off. 🤗

Starting work right away is an excellent idea. There’s always time for travel and being wild in your later years. For your best life, get married super young too.

What is the perfect age for marriage?

cmsienk

As far as getting married super young, I'd have to agree with Cat. The best age for getting married is 16. Do you know any 16 year olds? They're very mature, super selfless, and I've heard that 16 year old boys, especially, are very particular about keeping things neat and tidy. Oh! And their earning potential is at its peak, so no worries about finances there.

How far are you willing to drive to visit your in-laws on the holidays?