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I would trade places with Sisyphus. I've always wanted to be immortal, and pushing a boulder up a hill over and over for eternity seems like such a meaningful existence. It's probably the next best thing to swimming laps forever, where I would just swim around and around and never actually get anywhere. My only concern is whether he would take proper care of my musical instruments.
Same question: if you could trade places with anyone, who would it be?0 -
I would trade places with me. Specifically, the me in the mirror. I have always been jealous of his ability to do things so easily with his left hand, stuff which I need my right to accomplish. Maybe a few days swapping roles would teach me how he does that.
New Year's Resolution time! What skill have you always wanted to master, but never got around to it?0 -
I would like to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. People are always saying to me, "Can't you walk and chew gum at the same time?" I don't understand why they ask me that, but it's rather embarrassing to admit that I can't. I rarely chew gum, so that might be part of the problem. But if I could chew gum while walking, I think I'd really impress a lot of people.
What's the optimum number of shoes to own? (I have three, and I'm wondering if I should get a couple more)0 -
Are we talking pairs or individual shoes? If it's individual shoes - I'm with you - 3 is plenty. One for each foot and a spare that works for either foot.
I just had to replace my broken furnace with a new one. To be more efficient, should I have replaced it with something else?0 -
I'm a little weak in the area of thermodynamics (perhaps @nossmf knows), but I'm thinking maybe a couple gross of sterno cans might provide a fair amount of heat.
How many naps a day should one take, on average?0 -
Oh you are asking the right person! I’m a self professed sleep guru. There should be a 30 minute nap per 3 hour cycle. Therefore one should nap 8 times per day!
What is the best temperature for bath water?1 -
Cooler water is supposed to be good for the skin, and stimulating to the nervous system, so right above freezing is ideal. This temperature is achieved by running cold water until the tub is half full, then fill the rest of the way with ice cubes. Enjoy!
Many people say their choice of pet is better than anyone else's. What is the biggest advantage of having a pet skunk?0 -
Skunks are warm, cuddly, very social pets, and the biggest advantage to having one is how popular you'll become. Having a skunk in your life will guarantee you lots of friends. People are drawn to skunks; friends you haven't talked to for years - upon hearing you have a skunk - will call you, begging you and your skunk to come visit. Restaurant owners will send you coupons for free meals - but only if you bring your skunk with you. I've even heard of people getting promotions after bringing their pet skunk to the office with them.
What's your favorite insect?
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frankwbrown wrote: »I'm a little weak in the area of thermodynamics (perhaps @nossmf knows)...
You came to the right place, as not only do I know all about therm- (the little plastic nubs on the ends of McDonald's kid's meal toys) o- (of, duh) dynamics (the art of blowing things up with little sticks of TNT), but I also am very good at bringing the heat. Such as when I came home from the bar at 3am, my wife was very hot under the collar that night, and I didn't even have to try to impress her with my litany of excuses.
But that's not the last question asked! The lady wanted to know about my favorite insect! Clearly the most useful is the army ant, nature's natural garbage disposal. Have you ever seen pictures of how they can completely clear all the plants and animals for miles in the rain forest? I figured they can do the same at my home, just for the after-dinner unwanted leftovers. I installed a large pit in the back yard, lined the sides with teflon (since nothing sticks to teflon, that's what all the commercials say), and filled it with about 10,000 army ants. (Restaurants wanting to use this trick may want to start with a million.) After meals, I step onto a pirate's gangplank which stretches across the pit and scrape off all the bits of food from my plates and frying pans down to the hungry mass below. Poof! No more leftovers. I'm currently working on a system to allow me to lower my plates and cooking utensils down into the pit, let the ants clean them for me (no more washing dishes!), and then retrieve them, but the ants are being slightly uncooperative by not letting go of the clean dishes after they've eaten all the food off them. Still ironing out the details...
On a completely unrelated note, I recently let my daughter's dog out into the backyard, and he hasn't been seen since. Does anybody know where my daughter's dog has gone?0 -
He is at your neighbors . I just want to add he does visit there a lot.
Looking out my window, there are noisy birds everywhere. Why are there more than normal?
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They all got kazoos in their stockings from disgruntled elves.
What work related goal should I set for myself this year that will impress my new boss?0 -
Mount a manually operated pencil sharpener by your bosses office door (inside the office if possible). Then make a point (no pun intended) of using this sharpener to sharpen a pencil throughout the day, every fifteen minutes or so. This will demonstrate to your boss that you are a sharp (again no pun intended), dedicated, self-reliant, hard-working team player.
How many extra calories can/should you consume per calorie burned doing exercise, to maintain a healthy weight?0 -
Calories lost need to be regained in the same manner. If you sweat the calories away, say in a sauna, you need to replace these liquid calories with your choice of liquid refreshment. So weigh yourself before your workout, weigh again after the workout, that is the weight of the liquid calories lost via sweat. Drink that same weight in beer or wine to recover those calories. For the phenomenon called "calories burned during exercise," this is a little trickier, as the calorie replacements need to also be burning. The preferred method is baked Alaska flambe, one serving for each type of exercise employed to "burn calories." So if on leg day you do squats, leg press, lunges and a mile run, that's four exercises, so four servings. A balanced exercise and nutrition program aren't for the weak.
Speaking of drinking beer, I watched several commercials where the hero drank a beer, and poof, he changed from loser loner to life of the party. I've drunk an entire case of beers in my home, and so far nothing has changed. What am I doing wrong?0 -
You're obviously not socializing the right Bowling alleys and Bingo Halls 🤷🏼♀️
Who has the best Recipe for chili?0 -
That would be @sandejones because anyone with a great Roadkill Stew recipe (see about 20 posts back) is going to have all the best recipes! 😉
It's cold outside this morning, and I'm running short of firewood. What's a good alternative?1 -
Tires! You've heard the phrase 'burn rubber', haven't you? Assuming you have one vehicle, you've got 5 tires (don't forget the spare), so that should hold you for a while. If you burn through those before you restock your woodpile, you can also use bicycle tires and even pencil erasers. Oh wait! Just throw the whole pencil in; after all, it is made of wood - that'll make good kindling. Don't use mechanical pencils; that would just be silly.
What's your best advice for getting rid of termites?1 -
I recommend the same advice my wife adheres to whenever she discovers a spider in the house...burn the house down. This lets you rebuild the house using non-wooden beams to your exact specifications, not to mention the wonderful opportunity to thank a firefighter in person for all the courageous acts they do on a daily basis. Bonus truth: since the house is now fire-proof, not only do you never have a termite care again, but you can employ a flame-thrower against future spiders. Win-win.
My kids have gotten accustomed to sleeping in during their winter break, but school resumes soon. What's the best way to get them used to waking up early again?2 -
Play you are my sunshine on the trumpet.
What are you looking forward to today?
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I'm looking forward to playing outside - going barefoot in shorts and a tee shirt. You heard it's 3 degrees F here today, right? That's the best temperature for playing in a sand box and swinging on swings. Of course, you'll have to dig through the snow to get to the sand and defrost the swing seats, but c'mon that's half the fun!
What's your favorite book?0 -
@cmsienk, I'm envious. It was 33F this morning when I got up. That's not even cold enough to freeze my water pipes. How can I have a refreshing swim at this temperature?
My favorite book: 500 Thousand Digits of Pi - it's a truly fascinating read, and it never repeats itself. The ending seemed kind of abrupt though; I thought the story could go on forever.
What tricks/tasks can you do while standing on your hands?
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I'm not flexible enough to stand on my hands, I have to bend my knees and squat down on my hands instead. This pretty much limits me to imitating a small boulder. If you're asking what tricks can I do while standing on somebody else's hands, well, that's a whole different story.
A line from a famous song goes, "Where were you when the world stopped turning?" So? Where were you?0 -
Well I was in the stage in my yard located somewhere in LA with my wife singing a simple song, of course!
What was your first date?0 -
We went mud wrestling. I didn't want to, but he talked me into it. He let me win, because he was thoughtful and considerate.
What's a profession that doesn't get enough recognition?
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Politicians, definitely politicians. We need to hear from politicians every moment of every day to know how we should think and behave and feel about life. That will surely make us all happy, successful, and fulfilled!
What's the best thing the government ever did for you?1 -
We went mud wrestling. I didn't want to, but he talked me into it. He let me win, because he was thoughtful and considerate.crackin' up! 😂
What's the best thing the government ever did for you?
The govt works hard to keep the extremely rich extremely rich, so the extremely rich can show ordinary people, like me, what it's like to be extremely rich.
Is there a good reason why they don't use beach balls in soccer (aka football)?0 -
Originally beach balls were the standard soccer equipment, because futbol was always played on a beach. But over time, beaches fell out of favor because:
- Sand in players eyes every time anyone did a header
- Players distracted by sunbathers
- Shark attacks at high tide
- Teams wiped out by tsunamis
After games were moved inland the modern soccer ball was adopted by all but the staunchest traditionalists.
Why does moss usually grow on the north side of trees in the northern hemisphere, and the south side in the southern hemisphere?
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Moss actually grows on the north and south sides of trees, in both hemispheres.
There is a nomadic tribe based near the equator around the entire planet. This tribe lives only on moss gathered from trees. They wander far north and south of the equator but are quite successful at staying hidden. It is possible that they prefer the moss that grows on only the side of trees nearer the equator. This might be the case, given that the closer one is to the poles, the slower is their velocity as the earth turns. It is believed by some that this could affect the flavor of the moss. Others have suggested that this is a ridiculous notion, and have surmised instead that the tribe considers the "far side" moss to be taboo for some cultural reason. But whatever the reason, it gives the appearance that moss grows predominately on only one side of trees.
I have a special recipe I'd like to prepare but the process is complicated. Can anyone tell me how I can transform ice into water vapor without going through the intermediate liquid stage? Bear in mind I must do this in my kitchen.
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Doesn’t your blender have that setting? If not, you may borrow mine.
I’m looking at online classes now. What program would you take or better yet, should I take?0 -
That would be swell! Problem solved. 😄
Of course, it depends on what your interests are, but I'm thinking a good online class would be one that involves a hands-on approach to learning things, like pottery, massage, and tattoo artistry.
If revenge is a dish best served cold, what dish is best served hot?0 -
Revenge after a month in the back of the fridge is best served hot. Otherwise you risk food poisoning. Or maybe it's best just to throw it out. They say when you plan to go out for revenge, first dig two graves. If revenge includes any fish or uncooked eggs, that's excellent advice.
How much mold on moldy cheese in your fridge is too much?0
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